Pneumonia Virus Terrified After Remembering What Clintons Capable Of

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by yaxomoxay, Sep 12, 2016.

  1. yaxomoxay macrumors 68020

    yaxomoxay

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    #1
    ELECTION 2016
    MORE COVERAGE
    Pneumonia Virus Terrified After Remembering What Clintons Capable Of
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    NEWS IN BRIEF September 12, 2016
    VOL 52 ISSUE 36 · Politics · Politicians · Hillary Clinton ·Election 2016


    WASHINGTON—Expressing regret over its reckless decision to infect the Democratic presidential nominee, the virus causing Hillary Clinton’s pneumonia was reportedly terrified Monday after remembering what the Clintons were capable of. “Oh ****, what the hell was I thinking—you don’t get on the wrong side of these people,” said the infectious agent, which became increasingly worried while recalling just how far the Clintons were willing to go to get what they wanted, as well as what often happened to those who dared to cross the powerful politicians. “Everybody knows you never mess with the Clintons. These people won’t hesitate to absolutely crush you, and they have the money and connections to do it. I knew I should’ve just stayed clear. I’m so ****ed.” At press time, the horrified virus was reportedly planning to avoid the Clintons’ wrath by taking its own life.


    http://www.theonion.com/article/pneumonia-virus-terrified-after-remembering-what-c-53927
     
  2. MadeTheSwitch macrumors 6502a

    MadeTheSwitch

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    #3
    This was a tough decision....ignore post completely or make an early call for wasteland? Not even funny as a joke. So call for wasteland it is.
     
  3. yaxomoxay thread starter macrumors 68020

    yaxomoxay

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    #4
    Oh come on it's the onion, have a laugh after two days of serious news
     
  4. MadeTheSwitch macrumors 6502a

    MadeTheSwitch

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    #5
    I would if it were funny. But it wasn't. Just more clutter to all the noise already out there this campaign season.
     
  5. jkcerda macrumors 6502a

    jkcerda

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    #6
    you need to relax a bit. gazillion memes out there about Hillary killing others.
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    [​IMG]

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  6. yaxomoxay thread starter macrumors 68020

    yaxomoxay

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    #7
  7. ibookg409 Suspended

    ibookg409

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    #8
    Wrong. He will cut his head off while shaving.
    --- Post Merged, Sep 12, 2016 ---
    You made the wrong call.
     
  8. duffman9000 macrumors 68000

    duffman9000

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    #9
    Wait until you hit middle age and have to take vitamins everyday or else you will not feel good.

    (Shaking my fists at you kids!!)

    And another thing, do you know how difficult it is to drink 3 liters of water every day? A one hour car ride is now an adventure in trying to find a public restroom. Thank you Denny's for always being open lol.
     
  9. yaxomoxay thread starter macrumors 68020

    yaxomoxay

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    #10
    Lol. Actually I am extremely lucky: I drink a lot of water, probably more than three gallons per day. If it is sparkling water I can drink until they're it's gone and I feel like the Michelin man
     
  10. webbuzz macrumors 65816

    webbuzz

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    #11
    Tinnitus is the real bitch. :eek:
     
  11. duffman9000 macrumors 68000

    duffman9000

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    #12
    Stay puff is that you? Lol...
    I can't drink that much water every day. If I did I'd have no internal space for beer. Oh, I guess food is important too. At least I'd be skinny and hydrated.
    --- Post Merged, Sep 12, 2016 ---
    Kidney stones laugh at child birth lol.
     
  12. DrewDaHilp1 macrumors 6502a

    DrewDaHilp1

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    #13
    I would be disappearing if I were him. On my own accord no help from strangers! :D
    --- Post Merged, Sep 12, 2016 ---
    Wide mouth Gatorade bottles exist for this purpose.
     
  13. Gutwrench macrumors 68000

    Gutwrench

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    #14
    Funny stuff.

    Up voted the op.
     
  14. dec. Suspended

    dec.

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    #15
    Funny - and making fun of the delusional "Clinton Kill List" clowns at the same time.
     
  15. jkcerda macrumors 6502a

    jkcerda

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    #16
    you mean it's not real? :mad:
     
  16. DrewDaHilp1 macrumors 6502a

    DrewDaHilp1

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    #17
    They might disappear if they says yes.
     
  17. dec. Suspended

    dec.

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    #18
    Reality isn't a well-accepted concept in those circles ;) .
     
  18. jkcerda macrumors 6502a

    jkcerda

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    #19
    reality is over rated, I am not short/fat/bald, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not, I am not.

    there, I feel so much better :D
     
  19. impulse462 macrumors 68000

    impulse462

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    #20
    wait so how do you think you got this? i listen to a lot of music and i'm kind of scared this might happen because i think my hearing is the one really good sense i have.
     
  20. yaxomoxay thread starter macrumors 68020

    yaxomoxay

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    #21
    As long as you don't hear voices...
     
  21. duffman9000, Sep 12, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2016

    duffman9000 macrumors 68000

    duffman9000

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    #22
    Reality is over rated. Just wait until VR "movies" are mainstream and includes a full body suit. I don't know about you, but I'm John Claude Van Dammmmmm he old.

    Pinto?



    D-Day and I never stopped drinking.
     
  22. webbuzz macrumors 65816

    webbuzz

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    #23
    A lot of small music venues in my 20s and 30s. The Sony Walkman I had as a kid probably didn't help either.
     
  23. impulse462 macrumors 68000

    impulse462

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    #24
    oh i hear voices, they're just all my split personalities
    this is what i do...****
     
  24. duffman9000 macrumors 68000

    duffman9000

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    #25
    Double P!
     

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