Pregnancy :/

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by roadbloc, Mar 24, 2010.

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  1. roadbloc macrumors G3

    roadbloc

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    #1
    Okay, first thing, I do not want to start an abortion argument. I know people feel strongly about the idea of it.

    I have got my friend pregnant. She 17, same age as me. She told me today, and I am unsure what to do.

    I met up with her and asked her if she wanted to keep it, and she said she didn't know. Before this event, I would have thought I'd have forced her to terminate it, but now I am actually in the situation I am unsure. It's a kid in there after all, and I do like my friend very much.

    Currently, my life is working at a recording studio as a producer, and studying Music Technology at college. I'm guessing if we kept it, I'd have to quit all that and try my best to get a proper, regularly paid job.

    I dont even know why I'm posting this, I'm not sure what I'm expecting you to say. I just want to know your opinions on my situation, and any advise you could possibly give. No-one else knows apart from me and the girl. Oh, and MacRumours now.
     
  2. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #2
    be a man and shore up to your responsibilities

    marry the girl and raise your child

    anything else is cowardish imo
     
  3. iShater macrumors 604

    iShater

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  4. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

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    #4
    I think that the 2 of you need to talk to your parents about this situation. They may be able to help you think through some of the decisions you have to make.

    One thing that concerns me, is your statement that you would have forced her to terminate. Key word is forced. Not sure how you force someone to do that, but never mind. I think you need to prepare yourself for her to make a decision that you don't agree with and accept it as an adult.

    Next time, use some protection.
     
  5. callmemike20 macrumors 6502a

    callmemike20

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    #5
    Haha. Well here are the consequences for knockin up your woman. Now screw your life plans, marry her, and be a good dad.
     
  6. Gav2k macrumors G3

    Gav2k

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    #6
    One question. Do you think at this moment and time in your life you could find a job to give your child the best possible start in life and support the mother too because if you can't then you need to make the harsh choice of going down the abortion road.

    I know it sounds harsh but with the world the way it is at the moment if you can't support a child then don't have one.
     
  7. RawBert macrumors 68000

    RawBert

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    #7
    Whoa! Well, my advice is, if you aren't ready to commit to raising this kid for the next 21 years (I mean really commit), then you should consider terminating this as early as possible. It's really a difficult decision, but you have to consider the kid's quality of life. And also - BE MORE CAREFUL NEXT TIME!

    Just a suggestion...
     
  8. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    #8
    Kid, you know why your advice is amazingly bad? Here's why ...

    You have a friend who you "care about" that wasn't your girlfriend but you were ****ing her? Ok fair enough, casual sex among teenagers is cool anyway. But that aside, you and her need to decide what to do, which is code for she needs to decide what to do, and you need to help support her. Being a man doesn't mean marrying her, that is not a decision you are required to make unless your faith requires that of you, then that's another story.

    Oh wow, POTD Shater!!! :D :D His post should read that worrying about consequences is useless when you can ask what to do on MR!
     
  9. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

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    #9
    Why not adoption?
     
  10. Hrududu macrumors 68020

    Hrududu

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    #10
    I know a guy who was in basically the same situation at 21 with a 18 y/o girl. He got a full time job AND stayed full time in school and graduated in 4 years. Don't think you have to quit school right off the bat. Cowboy up and take care of your responsibilities. You're going to lose a lot of sleep a free time, but you asked for it. You need to inform both sets of parents if you haven't already and have them weigh in on the situation. You clearly aren't mature enough to make grownup decisions by yourselves yet, so make sure you do this right. Goodluck.
     
  11. ethical macrumors 68000

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    #11
    lmao!

    really? I know it's not the place for this discussion... but really?

    OP: Talk it out. What were her plans for the future before this happened? Ultimately the decision to keep it or not comes down to her. If she decides to keep it then you now have a responsibility to that child for the rest of it's life, and you need to change your current situation accordingly.

    I don't really know what advice people on here can offer you, unless they've been in a similar situation.
     
  12. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #12
    Missy, know what? When "kids" decide to play like adults, they need to be prepared to accept the consequences

    Why should the child pay the price for the couples pleasure

    If they do not want it, adoption is another choice, though not something I would do just out of convenience

    Call me old fashioned
     
  13. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    #13
    Because apparently abortion is the new form of birth control. :(

    Parent's don't have to be married to bring up a child. You're delusional if you think that is the case.
     
  14. renewed macrumors 68040

    renewed

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    #14
    Exactly. If you aren't ready to have a kid/able to take it on (there is always a chance) then don't have sex! Period.
     
  15. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

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    #15
    Unfortunately, you are correct.:(
     
  16. Gav2k macrumors G3

    Gav2k

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    #16
    I was adopted and yes there are those mirical adoptions where it's all rainbows and crap. But if you don't get placed right then your f£&@ed.


    Trust me being shoved from house to house because a perm place can't be found is horrible. Then when you do get placed other adopties that come into the household can turn things on there head.

    As I said I it goes as it should it's fine. If it dosnt the system can be cruel.

    Also there is the mother child bond that forms durning pregnancy. The 'friend' dosnt sound like she wants an abortion to start with.
     
  17. StruckANerve macrumors 6502

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    #17
    Abortion is NOT birth control. This is your responsibility and since you thought you were mature enough to have sex you need to handle this like an adult.
     
  18. huntnboy04 macrumors regular

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    MI, USA
    #18
    First of all, you said she was your "friend", don't marry her just because she is pregnant. It is up to her and you what to do. If you have a close knit family who can help you three, you can have the baby and continue college, granted it will be difficult. And there is always adoption. Good Luck. And next time, wrap it up.
     
  19. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #19
    Being married sure helps for a stable home. I don't know how you can argue otherwise
     
  20. niuniu macrumors 68020

    niuniu

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    #20
    You already know all the angles roadbloc. This thread will turn into an argument between people on all sides, but you already know it all anyway, you're 17, and your generation is well clued in.

    Time to look inside and check your priorities. Wanting an abortion doesn't make you a good guy, and not wanting an abortion doesn't make you a good guy either - so don't worry about that. You have to determine what you want out of life, because having a child is no small matter. I've studied law with married and single mothers, and no small number of them would tell your friend flat out now to wait until she's older to have a kid. People grow and they develop new goals, goals that might not be so easy to achieve with a child.

    And ignore that guy calling you a coward or some backward nonsense. Sometimes it takes more balls to put your foot down and assert your goals and go for it. Look at all the spineless, worthless pieces of sperm running around pushing prams - are they great men? Lot of nonsense all that name calling..
     
  21. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    #21
    Oh I can argue otherwise. I've seen both sides. Some of the most volatile homes I've seen are homes where man and wife are wed and raising their children. I don't know what rainbow white picket fence world you live in, but sometimes a two-parent home is not stable. Likewise, a single parent home is not always stable either. Just because your mommy and daddy worked out and your home was stable doesn't mean that was how everyone else lived.

    I don't find your views old fashioned. I find them lacking a certain understanding for another view. :cool:
     
  22. ethical macrumors 68000

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    #22
    Ahhhhhhh....editing my post to hide my embarrassment.......

    I can see this thread being chucked into PRSI pretty soon.
     
  23. RawBert macrumors 68000

    RawBert

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    #23
    You can have all the sex you want, but the trick is to be careful.

    I've never wanted (nor will I ever) want kids and I've never gotten a chick pregnant.

    OP, were you using a contraceptive????
     
  24. Leareth macrumors 68000

    Leareth

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    Vancouver
    #24
    Lets see if I get this straight

    she is a friend with benefits
    who is pregnant
    and is 17 yo

    you are 17 yo
    do not have a regular job or schooling
    and not living with her


    HOW can you possibly think to give this child a future as a parent, in this day and age ? unless of course yours and hers folks support you quite a bit.

    Also how far along is she ?
    Get a paternity test too.
     
  25. iShater macrumors 604

    iShater

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    #25
    That does seem to be the way it is lately.

    I didn't know that can happen with adoptions, only foster care I thought. :confused:
     
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