Scalia Death Conspiracy Roundup

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Robisan, Feb 16, 2016.

  1. Robisan macrumors 6502

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    #1
    "Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to." - La Nooners

    Gawker has a nice roundup of Scalia death conspiracies:

    A dead Supreme Court Justice, a mysterious pillow, missing autopsies, the 10-year anniversary of Dick Cheney shooting a guy in the face, and he was a mere 79 years young. Whether or not these factors have any bearing on what happened to Antonin Scalia is irrelevant, because put together, it’s a conspiracy theorist’s dream come true.

    For the hordes of amateur internet sleuths asking the questions no one else dares, the question is less what happened to Scalia than who. Some of their cases are more diligently compiled than others, and none of them totally make sense, but then again—that’s what They want you to think.

    So, to support the pursuit of truth, here are some of the best Scalia conspiracies the internet has to offer. Trust no one.

    So, to support the pursuit of truth, here are some of the best Scalia conspiracies the internet has to offer. Trust no one.

    [Click through for a fun read of likely suspects and evidence.]​

    My personal theory is there's concerted cover-up of Viagra, hookers and blow. Feel free to add your.
     
  2. Technarchy macrumors 603

    Technarchy

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    #2
    He was 79 and overweight. Not a great mystery there.
     
  3. thewap macrumors demi-god

    thewap

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    #3
    The label *conspiracy theorist* is the most efficient tool to stop enquiry.
     
  4. stroked Suspended

    stroked

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    #4
    I believe he most likely died of natural causes, but an autopsy should've been performed on somebody that important. Also it would've taken some of the ammo away from the conspiracy theorist.
     
  5. Eraserhead macrumors G4

    Eraserhead

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    #5
    His family wouldn't want that.
     
  6. stroked Suspended

    stroked

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    #6
    They were in on it.
     
  7. mrkramer macrumors 603

    mrkramer

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    #7
    They probably shouldn't have declared him dead over the phone just to avoid feeding the conspiracy theorists, but none of the conspiracy theories that I have seen make any sense.
     
  8. lowendlinux Contributor

    lowendlinux

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    #8
    TBH it's pretty easy to tell when someones dead, a doc is not really required.
     
  9. jkcerda macrumors 6502

    jkcerda

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    #9
    insurance money........... :p
     
  10. mrkramer macrumors 603

    mrkramer

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    #10
    Yeah, but when it's a prominent public figure it might not be a bad idea to have someone come in and take a look even if just to quiet the conspiracy nuts.
     
  11. lowendlinux Contributor

    lowendlinux

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    #11
    The flip side is that they can go suck an egg, If we (general we) appease them whom else to we need to appease just 'cause?
     
  12. Eraserhead macrumors G4

    Eraserhead

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    #12
    I wouldn't have wanted someone cutting up my grandparents when they died.

    You don't want a president to nominate more than 3 justices over 8 years, and ideally don't want more than 4 justices nominated over 12 so they can properly hold the president (and the vice president who gets elected to be president after) to account. Plus you need them to have a decent record when they are appointed in the first place meaning they have to be in their late forties if not fifties.

    So you need them to stay on for an average of 25-30 years, so if they are nominated at 55 they will need to be about 80 when they quit.

    You don't want them quitting early to spend more time with their families at the first sign of any illness before that so they avoid being cut up. And you don't want to give their families more ammo to make that point.
     
  13. bradl macrumors 68040

    bradl

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    #13
    While I'm pretty sure that the premise of this thread (as well as the links in the OP) is to be entirely in jest, and making fun of the conspiracy theories, I'm surprised that people here are taking this one seriously.

    We know that this was going to happen (hell, look at the countless rumours about RBG being on her deathbed), but when hte link in the OP is hedging their bets on Chupacabra being the cause of death? while death isn't a funny matter, they are trying to lighten up the situation with a bit of humour. So let's loosen up a bit, eh?

    For me, I'm going with the theory that Leonard Nimoy did it to give Obama enough SCOTUS votes needed to cancel the entire 2016 Election. :p

    BL.
     
  14. jkcerda macrumors 6502

    jkcerda

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    #14
    is the egg cooked or raw? because the conspiracy theorist will still claim the autopsy was faked, there was a pillow dammit...........
     
  15. Robisan thread starter macrumors 6502

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    #15
    I still say coverup - what was in his system that they didn't want found? Was someone else's DNA on his johnson? It is simply irresponsible not to speculate...
     
  16. Macky-Mac macrumors 68030

    Macky-Mac

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    #16
    Leonard Nimoy and the illuminati did him in .....and don't bother claiming Leonard Nimoy is dead cuz it's a known fact that he faked his death as part of a conspiracy to secretly takeover the illuminati........yesh
     
  17. chown33 macrumors 604

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  18. steve knight Suspended

    steve knight

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    #18
    Well it is Texas so expect corners to be cut. To not even have a doc declare the death but a cop.
     
  19. Thomas Veil macrumors 68020

    Thomas Veil

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    #19
    I heard Scalia was killed by his gay lover when he forgot the safe word while they were engaged in a little Jiggery Pokery.
     
  20. LIVEFRMNYC macrumors 603

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  21. aaronvan Suspended

    aaronvan

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    #21
    He got the Vince Foster treatment. Hillary is tying-up loose ends...
     
  22. Thomas Veil macrumors 68020

    Thomas Veil

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    #22
    You know, that actually makes sense.

    Like Foster, Scalia was depressed about angry Republican rhetoric, so he shot himself.
     
  23. Desertrat macrumors newbie

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    #23
    For starters, he was 79, somewhat overweight and of a sedentary lifestyle. Per his doctor, a shoulder operation was not done because of health troubles. From some commentary, a logical assumption is for some sort of heart trouble. Before his final bedtime, he had commented about being very tired. It was mentioned that on the previous afternoon, he sat around and watched other people being active, indicating that he was not feeling all that good. Remember, the whole deal was to go quail hunting, a passion of his in prior times.

    Great candidate for a heart attack, stroke or embolism.

    As far as the JP deal, Texas law allows a JP to "bless" the opinion of an on-the-scene cop. Police officer, deputy, highway patrol. The deputies of Presidio County are quite experienced in scenes of foul play and of deaths from natural causes. The LEO's report to the JP said no evidence of foul play.
     
  24. chown33 macrumors 604

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    I guess that means it wasn't a pre-emptive attack by an elite covey of quail.
     
  25. aaronvan Suspended

    aaronvan

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    #25
    Maybe the stress of hunting with Dick Cheney was too much for his ticker.
     

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