should I give up this friendship?

Discussion in 'Community' started by hexstar, Sep 13, 2004.

  1. hexstar macrumors member

    Aug 28, 2004
    Well I have a friendship of sorts of someone I've met online...we've grown really close....but the thing is we always end up getting in some type of fight and hating each other then being friends again...etc...I dunno...should I just give it up?...I like the guy alot as a really good friend but it just seems to always fall apart...~sigh~
  2. iLikeMyiMac macrumors 6502a


    Jul 17, 2004
    St. Louis
    This question isn't like the "should I buy an ibook or powerbook" questions that can be answered on this site. A question like this about a friendship can really only be answered by you.
  3. wdlove macrumors P6


    Oct 20, 2002
    I agree, the decision really has to be yours and yours alone. IMHO a friendship is an important thing.
  4. Jovian9 macrumors 68000


    Feb 19, 2003
    Planet Zebes
    Is there tension there that is related to either of you wanting more than just a friendship?.....for you or him? Have you talked about this possibility? I've had a large circle of friends (guys and girls) who have stuck together over the years and this has been an issue on more than one occassion. Several times it ended up bad (arguing, not getting along, and such)....and it has ended up great at times (my wife and I were friends for years before we ever dated). Perhaps one of you has developed more-than-friend feelings for the other......which would almost definitely create some tension.

    Another question:
    Which would you prefer:
    a friendship that also includes fighting and disagreements
    no friendship with no fighting and no disagreements

    One of my best friends ever (from college) lives in another country (U.A.E.).....we did not get along so well prior to his VISA expiring (graduated college) and were not on the best terms when he had to move home. We lost contact with each other. 5 years later I know that I'd rather have this friend with the disagreements we had than to have the situation we have friendship and probably no way of ever talking again.

    Hope I have been of some help. Good luck!
  5. sushi Moderator emeritus


    Jul 19, 2002
    This question can only be answered by yourself.

    Food for thought...

    - Do you enjoy this relationship the way it is (Fighting, making up, fighting, making up)?

    - Do you expect your friend to change?

    - Do you expect to change?

    - Is this the kind of relationship that you want in the future?

    - Is this relationship balanced, or one sided?

    - What feels right to you?

    - Why are you in this relationship?

    - Do you feel that you will grow as a person with this friend?

    Someone once told me a bit of advise concerning marriage. Let me share it with you. He said that women get married expecting to change their man. Men get married expecting that their woman will not change. Many times both end up disappointed. You have to accept each other for whom/what they are. If not, find another. In many ways, I think that this applies to friends as well.

    Bottom line, is that no one knows the answer to your question but you. Hopefully my comments/questions will help you out a bit.

    Good luck!


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