Soldier mom refuses deployment to care for baby

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Tomorrow, Nov 17, 2009.

  1. Tomorrow macrumors 604

    Tomorrow

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2008
    Location:
    Always a day away
    #1
    From Yahoo! News:

    Honestly, I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, it really doesn't make any sense to deploy the woman and put her child into foster care; but on the other hand, does it make a whole lot of sense to enlist in the service (or remain in service, not requesting a discharge) if you have no reliable child care lined up in the event you get deployed?
     
  2. Zombie Acorn macrumors 65816

    Zombie Acorn

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2009
    Location:
    Toronto, Ontario
    #2
    If she took any benefits offered to soldiers while at home she should be deployed. She probably just didn't want to head to afghan.
     
  3. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2004
    Location:
    Chicago, Illinois
    #3
    Probably, but I still think this case is kind of sticky. If there truly is no one to take care of her kid, what is she supposed to do?
     
  4. abijnk macrumors 68040

    abijnk

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2007
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    #4
    Why are there no services in place to help soldiers in these situations?
     
  5. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2004
    Location:
    Chicago, Illinois
    #5
    Why can't people just give their addresses to a website and have the website locate their district? ;)

    I bet the answers to both of these questions are similar, and I bet they involve money.
     
  6. Zombie Acorn macrumors 65816

    Zombie Acorn

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2009
    Location:
    Toronto, Ontario
    #6
    Take a discharge and find another job. No other job is going to allow you to say "I have a kid I can't come in for any shifts for a while, but you can continue to pay me".
     
  7. Tomorrow thread starter macrumors 604

    Tomorrow

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2008
    Location:
    Always a day away
    #7
    My hunch is that either (1) there is, and whoever it was that told her to put her kid in foster care is an idiot, or (2) the military is probably much more lenient about not deploying single parents than this article might lead us to believe.

    Even if they let her voluntarily withdraw from the service to care for her child, that would be better than sending her to jail for refusing to go overseas. But then again, it sounds like they might have let her remain stateside anyway, if she had only come to the airport and plead her case to her superiors.

    I sense this case is going to set some kind of precedent, so they would be wise to carefully consider how they end up handling this.
     
  8. colourfastt macrumors 6502a

    colourfastt

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2009
    #8
    Court-martial her for missing movement. Give her some brig time and a dishonourable discharge and be done with her. BTW .. what the HELL kind of a name for a child is "Kamani"?
     
  9. GorillaPaws macrumors 6502a

    GorillaPaws

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2003
    Location:
    Richmond, VA
    #9
    I believe it's an African name. Are you implying that Africans shouldn't have children? or that it's unacceptable to name your child based on the traditional names of their ancestral heritage, in which case I assume you've named your children Poccahantas (since Native Americans the only TRUE Americans).
     
  10. .Andy macrumors 68030

    .Andy

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2004
    Location:
    The Mergui Archipelago
    #10
    It's also the name of a quite beautiful tree :).
     
  11. harperjones99 macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2009
    #11
    Anyone with a heart can sympathize with a mom not wanting to leave a child but I am not sure what she expects. The job clearly isn't right for her so she should apply for a hardship discharge and move on. As much as some people want to hate the military I bet she could have gotten the hardship discharge without turning it into a media frenzy and talking to reporters.
     
  12. Ugg macrumors 68000

    Ugg

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2003
    Location:
    Penryn
    #12
    It's funny how none of the ultra-critical responses here spent a moment wondering what would happen to the child. Much less where the father is. So much for the right caring about family...

    Deploying mothers of infants and small children does not make sense. The Pentagon needs to take a good hard look at their policies before they continue this. There are enough military jobs here in the US, there's no reason a young, single mother should be separated from her child.
     
  13. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Colorado
    #13
    She should not be forced to go overseas given her family situation. That said, she can no longer fulfill her duties as a soldier and should be given a discharge from the Army.
     
  14. Tomorrow thread starter macrumors 604

    Tomorrow

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2008
    Location:
    Always a day away
    #14
    All well and good, but I have to ask - what "ultra-critical responses here" are you talking about?

    The article states that the father is no longer in the picture, but that's another issue altogether.
     
  15. abijnk macrumors 68040

    abijnk

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2007
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    #15
    But it should not automatically be dishonorable. There is more to this story that we don't know, and so can't make those judgments.
     
  16. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Colorado
    #16
    I never said it should be a dishonorable discharge. I don't think it should be. But it is clear to me that she should no longer be a soldier.
     
  17. abijnk macrumors 68040

    abijnk

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2007
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    #17
    I didn't mean to imply you did, I was just expanding on your statement.
     
  18. BoyBach macrumors 68040

    BoyBach

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2006
    Location:
    UK
    #18

    Does the US Army not eat outside Afghanistan? Can she not serve in the US until her circumstances change allowing her be deployed overseas? Is solving this problem really beyond the wit of the US Army?
     
  19. harperjones99 macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2009
    #19
    You really don't understand what a "military" is if you see it this way. You cannot run one that way...it won't work. If you open up that can of worms suddenly half the people or more being deployed will have "compelling" reasons to stay home. For every "mom" you allowed to stay home you would put someone else in their shoes because they happened to use birth control or NOT get pregnant. How is that right?

    It is not a "job" it's "service" and it is voluntary...she knew the possibilities when she chose to accept the enlistment. Nobody pulled a poor single mom out of her life and told her she had to go off to war. You can't view this like you do some civilian business.
     
  20. Tomorrow thread starter macrumors 604

    Tomorrow

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2008
    Location:
    Always a day away
    #20
    What we don't know is:

    1. Was she a single mother at the time of her enlistment? When was the baby born? When did she enlist? When did she break up with the father?

    2. It seems that her original plan was for her mother (the baby's grandmother) to watch the baby, but after two weeks of doing that, Meemaw has decided that raising a baby (along with some other folks she's caring for) doesn't exactly work out for her. So it might be less that mom didn't have a plan, and more like her plan fell through.

    The parts of this that rub me the wrong way were (1) the military superior who told her to put her child into foster care during her deployment (really, foster care? Is that a real solution?) and (2) her apparent nonchalance in simply not showing up, rather than showing up and pleading her case. I don't think the "young and stupid" excuse can work here; she's in the military, for crying out loud, and military people are supposedly disciplined enough to do things like, oh, appeal a decision? Skipping out just looks bad, no matter how you spin it.
     
  21. harperjones99 macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2009
    #21
    Your 1 and 2 really don't matter in the outcome of this...but I agree with most of your post. "Young, stupid and entitled" is likely the issue...but even if she had the best intentions she cannot expect some special accommodation because she CHOSE to have a kid. The military has policies to deal with people who cannot do the job. There are a number of types of discharge with "hardship" discharge being the one that would fit here. It would release her due to personal hardships that make it impossible for her to continue service, like family issues. This discharge would not be a stain on her record and she would still get any benefits she was eligible for at that time in her service.
     
  22. abijnk macrumors 68040

    abijnk

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2007
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    #22
    See, that's what I am talking about. That sounds like the right path.
     
  23. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Colorado
    #23
    In my opinion no. Being a soldier means that sometimes you will be required to go overseas and possibly fight. Since she can't do that because of her infant son, she should not be a soldier.

    Agreed, that this is the way to go.
     
  24. Tomorrow thread starter macrumors 604

    Tomorrow

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2008
    Location:
    Always a day away
    #24
    My 1 and 2 are directly in response to your statement, which I quoted in that very post. Here it is again, in case you missed it:

    Perhaps she knew what the military's policies would be when she enlisted, but it's possible that (1) the child was not yet born when she enlisted, (2) the child's father may have been available to watch him at the time she enlisted, and (3) she had arranged for her mother to watch the child, i.e. she had already made plans that she believed to be adequate.

    None of this means that I disagree with your point - I, too, think she should be discharged or separated from the service until she can get her personal affairs arranged such that she can do a tour.
     
  25. harperjones99 macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2009
    #25
    We are on the same page...and I know you get that I am just saying the details don't matter. It sucks for sure but it's not complicated. Believe me I wish we lived in a world where everyone was healthy and happy but this case is pretty simple. Her handling of this and speaking to the media also shows some lack of judgment and will surely give her a bad rap as "one of those kind of people" if she somehow remains in the military.

    In the interest of full disclosure I have a real problem with people who use "kids" as excuses. Nobody HAS to have children and a lot of people use the "single parent" card these days.
     

Share This Page