"That's so gay" and "No homo", what do you think?

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Cleverboy, Jul 20, 2009.

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What do you think of "No Homo" and "That's so gay"?

  1. Depends on the crowd and usage

    37 vote(s)
    23.7%
  2. Both phrases are unacceptable anywhere

    41 vote(s)
    26.3%
  3. "No homo" is fine, "So gay" is wrong and homophobic

    8 vote(s)
    5.1%
  4. "No homo" is wrong, "So gay" is fine

    5 vote(s)
    3.2%
  5. Both phrases are perfectly fine, people should lighten up

    65 vote(s)
    41.7%
  1. Cleverboy macrumors 65816

    Cleverboy

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    #1
    I was just making a post centered around the topic of homophobia, and thought it'd be funny to put "no homo" after a comment about how the world needs more hugs. After taking a second to Google it for "political correctness", I was surprised by the notion that anyone takes offense to "no homo". Honestly, I never thought of it as any type of serious attempt by someone not to sound "gay", but a joke on the deeply rooted fear of many heterosexual men on being mistaken for being homosexual (like the comedy routine that has a straight guy wander into a gay bar, only to realize this long after a string of misconstrued encounters).

    I knew there'd been a general disdain for people using the term "gay" as meaning "stupid", "goofy", or "weak"... (I've always scowled at people who've used the term "retard" to mean "stupid", but I gave this battle up about 8 years ago.) I still think saying something is "gay" is funny... but usually when I run across it, the people I'm talking to actually mean "That comes across as very effeminate", which I'm thinking is perfectly acceptable (whether that's right or wrong). For instance, my nephew is a little overweight, yet tends to wear very tight pants in an effort to make him look skinny. He's been caught wearing wigs, has a passion for snakes and other things to drape around his neck, and at 19 has sleep overs from time to time with other boys (though to be honest, I believe they're just playing video games and hanging out). From time to time, a number of behaviors converge, and someone says, "Dude, that's so gay." He doesn't seem to mind, though it tends to take a "come on, admit it" tone than anything else.

    At any rate, I read this article, and it struck me how different people, groups, societies, cultures will take things differently. So, I thought I'd ask the people on this board... "So gay" and "No Homo"... ok, not ok, depends... where do you fall?

    After reading this article, all I could think personally was that the writer (and perhaps the people in the class) were taking "no homo" WAY too seriously. I can't see how anyone who wasn't being self-deprecating would say "no homo" as any form of "serious" defense against being accused of being gay. It's always been an exceedingly ironic statement to me, which I'd say to gay or straight people... kind of in the same way you'd say "that's what she/he said" when you run across something that might be taken as a sexual innuendo. It's all just light sophomoric humor to my mind.

    ~ CB
     
  2. thegoldenmackid macrumors 604

    thegoldenmackid

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    #2
    Not acceptable under any terms. My largest frustration is when someone uses one of the words and you can't figure out what they are saying. With "retard" when people used it out of context it usually means "stupid." Would you ever say "what a n____."

    And yes, I report people that say "retard"/"retarded"
     
  3. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #3
    sorry i have no issue saying

    "that's retarded"
    or
    "that's gay" to be the same meaning as "thats stupid"

    sue me
     
  4. quagmire macrumors 603

    quagmire

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    #4
    +1

    We shouldn't have to worry about offending people when the word is used in a different context then the reason why people get offended for......
     
  5. thegoldenmackid macrumors 604

    thegoldenmackid

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    #5
    So if iThink the N-Word has a different meaning, it becomes okay?
     
  6. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #6
    its all about the context in which words are used

    comedians use the n word all the time. people make catholic jokes all the time

    the only reason people should get all offended is if the words are being used in a ill manner. everyone should be able to understand the context of how the words are used and be able to deal with it accordingly

    thats my opinion and i know you disagree. however, your opinion will not stop my behavior and i really don't intend to change it either

    i hate all political correctness
     
  7. thegoldenmackid macrumors 604

    thegoldenmackid

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    #7
    iThink jokes about Catholics and the n-word are slightly different. I don't mind gay jokes, but "that's so gay" is worthless at best, offensive most the time.
     
  8. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #8
    you think jokes about a specific group are less offensive than using a word that is clearly being used in a context that isnt aimed at gay people?

    gay even has different definitions. a joke of catholics doesnt have that same luxery in a sense

    i would think it would be flip flopped
     
  9. thegoldenmackid macrumors 604

    thegoldenmackid

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    #9
    iThink jokes are in context. I mean imagine if your segment of the population has become synonymous with the general public as "stupid" or "uncool"?
     
  10. Cleverboy thread starter macrumors 65816

    Cleverboy

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    #10
    That's funny. Reminds me of a recent news article, and an incident that happened to me. First, the news article:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/20/carolyn-maloney-uses-n-wo_n_241333.html
    A similar incident happened with my wife and I recently. We're both black, and we were having a house inspected by a referral from our buying agent. Both our buying agent was there (buzzing around on the phone), and the inspector was talking to us about the various things wrong with the property. As he's talking, he suddenly relates an anecdote about a black guy he knew, and in repeating what someone ELSE said, he used the N-word. Our buying agent, who is a realestate attorney, immediately became bothered and said he had to excuse himself. My wife and I were thinking "no biggie", as we could see it in the context of the inspectors' story. Afterwards, the buying agent apologized to us, and said he will likely not use the inspector again. --I thought it was interesting, I wasn't offended (it WAS a "quote" afterall, to a relevant story)... but part of me DID think it was a bit inappropriate, and could have EASILY offended people who'd had more history with the word. --For instance, with my mother. She grew up in the south and has spent her life moving past racial divisions (to this day, she can't watch Amistad without crying).

    That said, I still think "no homo" and "so gay" is a completely different category than using the "n-word" or for that matter, other expletives, like calling someone a "f-ck face" or "f-ggot" or any other type of toxic waste. It doesn't MATTER how you use these words, they're toxic waste. "No homo" is short for "I'm not homosexual", and "so gay" isn't using verbotin words, its just using them out of context. I'm left simply wondering where the public consciousness is on it. It's VERY much like calling something retarded. It's a dictonary word afterall, people are just creating a new meaning in a namespace people are sensitive about (whose words can be easily and non-offensively be used in other contexts).

    "No homo" to me, is like watching an episode of the Ambiguously Gay Duo. It's so over the top ridiculous, it CAN be funny... or just irksome depending on your threshold for absurdity.

    ~ CB
     
  11. thegoldenmackid macrumors 604

    thegoldenmackid

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    #11
    You cannot draw lines. The n-word has to be as worse as f-g. If a white boy from the suburbs like me went around calling my non-black friends, "dumb negroes," it would not go over well...
     
  12. Malfoy macrumors 6502a

    Malfoy

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    #12
    +1

    context is key.
     
  13. obeygiant macrumors 68040

    obeygiant

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    #13
    If you or your friend went around calling your gay friends "dumb negroes" I'd say he's..well...retarded. :D :)
     
  14. thegoldenmackid macrumors 604

    thegoldenmackid

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    #14
    Thanks. I actually smiled. But...the maturiy of MacRumors.



    I understand, "I want to say what I want, it's not fair black people get the n-word..." I also understand, "context is key." I disagree with both, but, could someone enlighten me on: "No homo" is fine, "So gay" is wrong and homophobic"
     
  15. Malfoy macrumors 6502a

    Malfoy

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    #15
    but people can draw lines and they do. I'm black and can count the number of black friends I have on one hand. I live in the suburbs and most of my white friends do as well. They say 'n!gga please' and whatnot to each other and me all the time and nothing is thought of it. Now if you were to walk up to me and say 'I hate you n***r and your kind' we are probably going to have an issue.
     
  16. thegoldenmackid macrumors 604

    thegoldenmackid

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    #16
    My point was to universal lines. If people are comfortable with calling each other then that in private that is one thing. But I doubt that your friends would like to go to Random City USA and say "n. please"
     
  17. Zombie Acorn macrumors 65816

    Zombie Acorn

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    #17
    One guy we used to hang around with at the bars used to say "thats gay", he was gay.
     
  18. rhsgolfer33 macrumors 6502a

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    Jan 6, 2006
    #18
    I try not to use them, but a "that's so retarded" or "that's so gay" slip out sometimes. Its not intended to be derogatory and I don't really give a second thought about it, but its not as if I use the phrases commonly. I have more choice words than "retarded" or "gay" that I use when I'm angry or jesting at a friend.
     
  19. thegoldenmackid macrumors 604

    thegoldenmackid

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    #19
    Oddly black people use the n-word, so are they...?
     
  20. Malfoy macrumors 6502a

    Malfoy

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    #20
    I'm sure there is sarcasm there but I'm not sure how to make a sarcastic remark that acknowledges the sarcasm. :(
     
  21. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #21
    its all about the context

    really


    words are merely sounds we make lol

    its the meaning behind the words that matter and that meaning is HIGHLY dependent on the scenario
     
  22. Zombie Acorn macrumors 65816

    Zombie Acorn

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    #22
    Gay isn't a derogatory name, in fact its the name widely accepted in the gay population. "Thats gay" isn't even referencing gay people anyways, just as "thats retarded" has nothing to do with retarded people.

    When I say "****" I am not talking about fecal matter, when I say "****" I am not referencing intercourse.
     
  23. .Andy macrumors 68030

    .Andy

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    #23
    But the etymology of both when using them in the context of this thread is most certainly derogatory. The phrases using "gay" or "retarded" as derogatory terms arose because being gay and retarded were seen as negatives. Although they might mean something different to you now.
     
  24. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #24
    That's funny. I'm gay and live in a big city with a huge gay population. Not one gay person I know would ever say that. When we hear straight people say it, we correct them.

    When anyone says, "That's so gay", I say "Why, does it want to f*** me?" I don't care if it's someone in my office, that's what I say. That usually shuts them up. You offend me, I'll offend you right back. Turnabout's fair play, and you can expect it from me.

    Yeah- that reminds me of fools who used to say idiotic crap like, "But "n***er" can mean white trash." Uh-huh, right. :rolleyes:
     
  25. Shotgun OS macrumors 6502a

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    #25
    I think both phrases are perfectly fine, and I have used "That's gay" many times. Yet, I think both phrases are lame and have about zero substance in them, so I don't know how I still say the phrase (once in a while.) I'm also one to think that there are no bad words or phrases; maybe I watch too much George Carlin.
     

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