The good humour thread

Discussion in 'Community' started by Tahko, Jul 23, 2005.

  1. Tahko macrumors regular

    Jun 11, 2005
    In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

    On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

    On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

    On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

    On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

    On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

    On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

    On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

    On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

    On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

    On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, Delta?)

    I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

    On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
    (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
  2. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Apr 3, 2004
    Adelaide, Australia
    Thank you. Very good. It reminds me of a segment on Rove (a TV show over here) called "What The..." :D
  3. ham_man macrumors 68020


    Jan 21, 2005
    Those are some good ones. They always have quite a few of those in the back of Consumer Reports...
  4. MattG macrumors 68040


    May 27, 2003
    Asheville, NC
    I can't believe you didn't include the "do not eat iPod shuffle" thing in your list!

    Attached Files:

  5. EJBasile macrumors 65816


    Apr 20, 2004
    Cortaslim (and other diet pills on tv)- results not typical

    (hahaha that one cracks me up)
  6. clayj macrumors 604


    Jan 14, 2005
    visiting from downstream
    There used to be a sign on the trash room to my building that started like this:

    PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW THESE IMPORTANT RULES WHEN USING THE TRASH ROOM! (If you cannot read this sign, please have someone read it to you.)

    Seriously, someone wrote a note to the illiterate. "If you cannot read this"? Yikes.
  7. Mechcozmo macrumors 603


    Jul 17, 2004
    I named my Shuffle "DO NOT EAT" for that reason. :D
  8. cooknwitha macrumors 6502a


    May 5, 2005
    Similar to a Government Hotline over here that at one stage had the message "If you cannot speak English, please press '8'".
  9. rdowns macrumors Penryn


    Jul 11, 2003
    My favorite, from my nephew's stroller

    Do not fold while child is seated.
  10. .:*Robot Boy*:. macrumors 6502

    Jan 21, 2005
    New Zealand
    Oh great, so not only do they feed you s**t, they make you wipe your mouth with the remnants of it afterwards :rolleyes:

    By the way, what's the difference between McDonald's and "McRonald's"? :confused:
  11. munkle macrumors 68030


    Aug 7, 2004
    On a jet plane
    One's real and the other's a spoof?...

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