The only attention I/we get from girls is ones that have kids.

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by benlangdon, Mar 19, 2009.

  1. benlangdon macrumors 65832

    benlangdon

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    Jan 13, 2008
    #1
    Literally the only kind of girls we have been getting attention from are ones with kids.

    seriously.

    my friends and i are all studying things like engineering (my major) and medical things. so its not like there are many girls on this part of campus and we are all dying here in need of some women. but all the attention were getting back is from girls that have had a kid. like literally, all of them.


    i dunno what to do.
    i mean im pretty desperate and im pretty sure my friends are on the same level. i mean heck im making a thread about it. its not like we are old, heck im 21, my other friends are 19, 20, 24, 21, and 21
    why can't i just meet normal (i.e. no kids) girls?
     
  2. calculus Guest

    calculus

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  3. sushi Moderator emeritus

    sushi

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    #3
    If this is not what you are interested in, then you need to change your venue and look elsewhere.
     
  4. ceezy3000 macrumors 6502

    ceezy3000

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    #4
    haha i think its cus girls with kids are a bit more, mhm how do i put this lightly?
     
  5. blackfox macrumors 65816

    blackfox

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    #5
    You could take such ( or indeed any) interest as a compliment.
     
  6. neonblue2 macrumors 6502a

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  7. Lau Guest

    #7
    ...more likely, statistically, to have given birth?




    benlangdon, you do realise that somewhere, in a cafe near you, there are a group of girls saying "Why are there no real men round here? All the men I ever seem to talk to turn out to be engineering student-boys with no experience of life.", right? ;)
     
  8. jodelli macrumors 65816

    jodelli

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  9. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

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    #9
    Well I hope for their sake you continue to avoid them if you think so lowly of them for it.
     
  10. Peterkro macrumors 68020

    Peterkro

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    #10
    If they have children they're pretty much by definition women and not girls.
     
  11. geekgirl macrumors regular

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    #11
    Another way to look at this is to be flattered. You're pretty young still, so I can understand why you might feel uncomfortable.

    Many women who are single moms are not the stereotypical "loose women" you'd assume them to be. Having a child does mature a person, and can help a girl learn what is really important to look for in a man. Take the time to get to know some of these women, and you might be surprised. I'm not saying they are all like this, some are probably out for the whole "future earnings" thing, but you might be surprised.
     
  12. No1451 macrumors 6502

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    #12
    I don't think he thinks badly of them for it, just maybe he doesn't want to be possibly dating someone with that sort of responsibility?
     
  13. Dagless macrumors Core

    Dagless

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    #13
    That's what I got too.
    All I can suggest is looking elsewhere. I'm 23 myself and have been in a 6 year relationship, but kids are just something we don't want for a very long time.
     
  14. Consultant macrumors G5

    Consultant

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  15. CalPoly10 macrumors regular

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    Sep 5, 2006
    #15
    My friend, I am an engineering major as well, with most all of my friends in the engineering field. Just because you are an engineer, doesn't mean you can't assosciate with the fine women in Communications, Art, etc.

    Go out, join some clubs that are outside of engineering. Stuff that is fun. Meet women in your downtown area.

    Just be funny and confident, and they'll come your way.
     
  16. synth3tik macrumors 68040

    synth3tik

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    #16
    The last relationship I was in that involved a kid was great. This girl was a child prodigy. She was a lot of fun, and really really smart. At age 7 she had finished the Harry Potter series, and was playing cello at a middle school level. It was just great.

    I tend to stay away from the ones that are looking for a "baby daddy", another way to put it is that I do not do internet dating. Ha. I will say that dating someone with a kid does bring on a totally new element. You end up having to develop two relationships at the same time. Also kids taje break ups harder then we do.
     
  17. barkmonster macrumors 68020

    barkmonster

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    #17
    I don't blame you if don't want to get yourself stuck in a "pot noodle family. Just add dad" situation. Your 20s are for enjoying yourself, not playing dad to some kid that's not your problem.

    Just wait till your late 20s and every relationship your surrounded with is down to people introducing their spare friends to each other. I only know 3 couples out of dozens who have actually got married, only 1 of those couple's actually has a kid and that's because his wife has MS so they've had a child early on because it won't be possible later.

    It's a pain when girls have kids.

    I haven't being out with anyone in 4 years now, my ex had a 2 year old girl.

    I couldn't even begin to be interested in the kid, I really tried but it's just not me and then last summer I get a phone number of a girl in my village who thought I was only 23 and gave me her number as soon as she found out I was 30.

    I was happy for all of 30 seconds till I got the "how are you with kids" thing and didn't bother. It's really not worth the hassle to relieve the boredom of being single by going from absolute freedom to a complex relationship with an ex boyfriend/husband you end up feeling awkward around when they come to collect the kid AND obviously the kid to consider as well.
     
  18. freeny macrumors 68020

    freeny

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    #18
    They are just trying to wear you down. Eventually you will settle. It is the way.
     
  19. drlunanerd macrumors 65816

    drlunanerd

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    #19
  20. annk Administrator

    annk

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    #20
    Jesus. :eek:

    This, my friend, is how you came to exist. :rolleyes:

    With all due respect, this somehow doesn't surprise me.
     
  21. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #21
    Me too.


    I say take it as a compliment and move on. Most people don't want to be 21 and dating someone with a kid, so I think most people here can understand. However, if someone likes you, you can't help that. Doesn't mean you're obliged to like them.

    I find it a bit strange that you and 5 friends are all in the same situation. :confused: Are there just a lot of early-20's women in your area who have babies??
     
  22. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #22
    Yep- there sure are.

    Benlangdon, when in doubt, try craigs list. Don't laugh, it works. Say exactly what you're looking for and see what happens.
     
  23. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

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    #23
    Considering the (OP's) aforementioned apprehensions, I can easily work out how/why this may be happening. ;)
     
  24. barkmonster macrumors 68020

    barkmonster

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    #24
    I'm not saying I hate kids and don't want kids at some stage in life, I just don't want OTHER PEOPLE'S kids and the girl last year has quite a reputation for always cheating on people.

    She's was a bit of a chav really and for someone in her late 20s to be seen leaving pubs with various scrotes in trackies of about 19 at most made me think twice even BEFORE the mention of kids. It was just the straw that broke the camels back so far as having doubts about someone.

    There was also this incident a few years earlier when she flew out of her house with a kitchen knife at a girl I've known for years, just for going out the ex boyfriend she actually has the kid by and she'd being seeing someone else herself for years already.

    All of that adds up to "not my type" to start with really, kids or not.

    Didn't mean to sound so blunt or picky
     
  25. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

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    #25
    It is threads like this that make me realize how primitive minded some men/boys are. I really couldn't help but think of wildlife and how in some species the males will kill the young of another male so they can mate with the female and have their own offspring. Not exactly the same thing but there are certainly parallels.

    I can completely understand not wanting that responsibility, but I still find myself disappointed to read implications of the woman somehow being damaged goods or a slut simply because she has a child.

    Against all evidence to the contrary, I'll try not to think all men are pigs if some of you can wrap your minds around the idea that not all single mothers are skanks. They merely got left with the responsibility guys not unlike yourselves didn't feel up for.
     

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