What is your best parenting advice to raise a teen?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Delighted, Mar 22, 2012.

  1. Delighted macrumors 6502

    Delighted

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    Feb 25, 2012
    #1
    I am single so no teen(s) yet but I do work with people who are parents. Today my co-worker told me about his teen son spending a lot of time outside hanging out with friends and not being home as much. His son's grades are suffering, and he doesn't know what to do. My co-worker is a 54 year old man, very successful in what he does in the company. He spends a lot of time at work because... well, he's more experienced than any of us.

    I found myself staring at him with not much to say except talk to his kid. Any parents out there that has raised a teen and has better advice? I really want to help the guy but I'm completely clueless as to what to tell him.
     
  2. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    #2
    No disrespect but you wanting to help is nice but this is way above your capacity. If he is concerned he should seek adult professional help.
     
  3. verwon macrumors 68030

    verwon

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    #3
    And every teen is different, what I use to snap my son to attention may not work for his and vice-versa!
     
  4. Delighted thread starter macrumors 6502

    Delighted

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    #4
    he was just venting to me.
     
  5. mobilehaathi macrumors G3

    mobilehaathi

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    #5
    And you did well to listen and console, but it would be hard to offer much else in terms of advice.
     
  6. Zombie Acorn macrumors 65816

    Zombie Acorn

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    #6
    If his grades don't come up confiscate his phone. Problem solved. Next.
     
  7. AnimaLeo macrumors 6502

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    #7
    ...really? Really.
     
  8. Heilage macrumors 68030

    Heilage

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    #8
    Yes. When in doubt, escalate. That'll make everything easier. :)
     
  9. ender land macrumors 6502a

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    #9

    This is probably a good place to start with your answer.
     
  10. tigres macrumors 68040

    tigres

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    #10
    These issues start way before the teen years. The foundation has been laid; hard to rebuild what's set.
     
  11. Shrink macrumors G3

    Shrink

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    #11
    It must be nice to live in your world of simplistic solutions to complex problems.

    OP: I agree with the general tone of the responses here... listen to your friend, sympathize, do not offer advice except, perhaps, to talk to a professional.

    Dealing with an adolescent is a complex problem requiring careful evaluation of the issues particular to that family. Generic, one-size-fits-all advice is less than useless, it can, at worst, be dangerous.
     
  12. maflynn Moderator

    maflynn

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    #12
    My advice - don't really give advice but be supporting.

    Its tough to advise someone how to proceed when you really don't have the entire situation and not being a parent is difficult.

    Being friend to help and support is the best thing, imo
     
  13. UlsterApple macrumors regular

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    #13
    Think of what you yourself were like as a teen. I do, then look at my daughter. And despair.
     
  14. lwood1 macrumors 6502

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    #14
    Tell him to man up and discipline his child. Tell him if it's wants to be successful he better get good grades. Rookies.
     
  15. bdodds1985 macrumors 6502a

    bdodds1985

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    #15
    my disaster started at about 7, so maybe his kid is just a late bloomer. no one to blame except himself, stay out of it.
     
  16. tips macrumors member

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    #16
    I think its better to find what is making him hangout with other kids.
    There must be some interesting topic with one of his friend, or one of his friend is driving interest into something other than studies.

    After finding enforce appropriate constraint to limit that activity, or educate about its good and bads ,so that he will find new topic of his interest may be back to studies ?.
     
  17. Apple OC macrumors 68040

    Apple OC

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    #17
    sounds like a typical normal teenager to me
     
  18. bdodds1985 macrumors 6502a

    bdodds1985

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    #18
    Lol, maybe before Xbox and all these gadgets. I remember my mom having a hard time trying to get me to come back in, now days, it's mostly the opposite!
     
  19. chrf097 macrumors 68040

    chrf097

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    #19
    Just don't act like you know our problems.


    You don't.
     
  20. (marc) macrumors 6502a

    (marc)

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    #20
    What problems? :rolleyes:
     
  21. bdodds1985 macrumors 6502a

    bdodds1985

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    #21
    Lol, get a life
     
  22. -aggie- macrumors P6

    -aggie-

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    #22
    Yeah, because we were never teens. Right.:rolleyes:
     
  23. Rodimus Prime macrumors G4

    Rodimus Prime

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    #23
    Kind of my thought on it. Some times just offering and spending time with ones kid helps. Just do not make it mandatory so to speak.

    For example my dad and I would often times bond over working on my car or one of the other cars. The working being basic maintenance stuff on cars (oil changes brakes ect.)
    Or fixing something in the house. That was me. My brother had nor has any interest in that stuff so those would tend to shot hoops in the drive way. Sister my dad coach. Each one of us was different but a big part was just spending time or offering to spend the time.

    That being said that not saying sometimes my brother and I still got the stick so to speak from my parents but it normally started with the carrot before the stick came out when the carrot failed. Heck in terms of what worked on me would not work on my brother in either the carrot or the stick and the same the other way around. We each were very different. For my sister the carrot was all that was ever needed and even then that was rare.
     
  24. chrf097 macrumors 68040

    chrf097

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    #24
    You also grew up with the technology we have today? Facebook, Cyberbullying, etc.?
     
  25. -aggie-, Mar 30, 2012
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2012

    -aggie- macrumors P6

    -aggie-

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    #25
    Each generation has their own set of problems. You're not special. For example, how about actual physical bullying, since we didn't have your technology? Having to run to your bus to get home, because you've been threatened with getting shot by some DB in school? Having severe acne, having one of the pimples accidentally pop and bleed in class, and being made fun of by everyone? Not being able to reach out for help, since we didn't have your technology? I'm sure others from before your generation can add many more examples. It's hard being a teenager.
     

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