What's a guy to do with the free time? Guess I'll call the Fedex Nashville, TN Hub...

Discussion in 'iPad' started by Bignified, Mar 14, 2012.

  1. Bignified macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2012
    #1
    ...and recite this little ditty (in a strikingly familiar rendition if i say so myself) verbatim to the first live party I could get on the phone.

    "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have any money left after this purchase. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my iPad go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."
     
  2. mariocapo macrumors member

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    Sep 3, 2009
    Location:
    Las Vegas
    #2
    Lmao

    This is, hands down, the best/most entertaining "waiting for iPad" thread on this forum. Liam Neeson FTW! Literally laughed out loud.:D

    I think I'll do the same, only with the Ontario, California FedEx hub.
     
  3. xkmxkmxlmx macrumors 6502a

    xkmxkmxlmx

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    Apr 28, 2011
  4. protobiont macrumors 6502a

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    Jul 6, 2010
    #4
    And then sit back and wait for the FBI to show up at your door.
     
  5. DizzyV6P macrumors regular

    DizzyV6P

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    Mar 11, 2011
    #5
    Awesome Movie!!! It's from "Taken" for those who haven't figured it out by now. I have it memorized for my daughter's future first date ;) It's tied for first place with the Bad Boys II date scene, I can't decide which one to do...LOL.
     
  6. MGTR420 macrumors regular

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    Oct 11, 2011
  7. JohnDoe98 macrumors 68020

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    May 1, 2009
    #7
    I thought clicking on this thread would be pointless. Turns out was funny. :)
     
  8. falcora macrumors 6502

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    Oct 8, 2011
    #8
    If you left off the 'I Will kill you' part at the end, you could probably get away with it and not get into any trouble. With any luck the operator would get the joke and have a laugh with you.
     
  9. Blakjack macrumors 68000

    Blakjack

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2009
    #9
    This is the funniest thing I've heard in a couple of days. I cant stop laughing.
     
  10. marksweb macrumors member

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    Mar 12, 2012
  11. fridgeymonster3 macrumors 6502

    fridgeymonster3

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    Philadelphia
    #12
    Haha!! As an almost-lawyer, I'd advise a client against such veiled threats, even ones that are joking, as the FBI really has no sense of humor. Therefore, I fixed it for you free of charge. :)
     
  12. xkmxkmxlmx macrumors 6502a

    xkmxkmxlmx

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    Apr 28, 2011
    #13
    Yeah... lighten up.
     
  13. tigress666 macrumors 68040

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    Apr 14, 2010
    Location:
    Washington State
    #14
    It's funny, even if the guy does it for real. But I'd find it funny because he'd probably make news when he got arrested ;) (hey it's not me and it's news of some one doing something kinda stupid). I'm not sure he'd find it so funny getting arrested.

    Seriously, I wouldn't actually do the "I will kill you" (and really even the "I will look for you, I will find you" part cause that still could be viewed as a threat) part IRL because yeah, that could get the police or FBI at your door. On the other hand, leave it out, you may get lucky and get some one who gets the quote and laughs. Or at least has a story of the "crazy customer he got on the phone today."
     
  14. Lunchb0x8 macrumors 6502a

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    East Maitland, NSW, AU
    #15
    LOL, that would certainly be good for a giggle!
     
  15. monkeylui macrumors 6502

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    Oct 11, 2011
    Location:
    A Galaxy far, far away
    #16
    Well ask them for mine too. I'd rather you take the fall though.
     
  16. 100Teraflops macrumors 6502a

    100Teraflops

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    Mar 1, 2011
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    Elyria, Ohio
    #17
    There is a killjoy in every group! ;) You just had to remind them of the consequences. :D
     
  17. Photography macrumors 65816

    Photography

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    Apr 10, 2007
  18. SteveAbootman macrumors 6502a

    SteveAbootman

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    May 12, 2008
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    USA
    #19
    This was great. I can just imagine the bewildered FedEx employee on the other end of the call...

    Well played OP
     
  19. Bignified thread starter macrumors newbie

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