...and recite this little ditty (in a strikingly familiar rendition if i say so myself) verbatim to the first live party I could get on the phone. "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have any money left after this purchase. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my iPad go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."