Who would win in a fight between Bill Gates & Steve Jobs?

Discussion in 'Community' started by MacRy, Apr 23, 2004.

  1. MacRy macrumors 601


    Apr 2, 2004
    I know that it's really puerile but it's friday afternoon and i'm at work when I should be in the pub enjoying myself.

    So come on.....bare knuckle pikey style fighting - who would be the victor?
  2. JesseJames macrumors 6502a

    Mar 28, 2003
    How'd I get here? How can I leave?
    My initial response would be that Steve would wipe the floor with Billy.
    But pondering it, I think Bill might have some serious geek fight in him. Like knocking off his glasses with a slap and then watching him turn red and go on a nerd rampage. Fists flailing in a girlish way trying to swim into Steve.
    I bet Steve would keep his distance and try to be cat-like about it. Just like a boxer. Trying to get good shots in.
  3. Counterfit macrumors G3


    Aug 20, 2003
    sitting on your shoulder
    I think Steve would win, just because Gates has screwed Apple over for so long.
  4. takao macrumors 68040


    Dec 25, 2003
    Dornbirn (Austria)
    i guess bill gates would win because he would use some unfair tricks ;)
  5. sethypoo macrumors 68000

    Oct 8, 2003
    Sacramento, CA, USA
    Yeah, he'd probably start some sort of monopoly, using his other executives as weapons, while forcing Steve to fight on his own.

    Yet, I still think Steve would win. :p :D
  6. Nny macrumors regular


    Apr 7, 2004
    Yeah, I see Gates as the type to pull your hair, bite you, throw sand in your eyes, and kick below the belt.
  7. idkew macrumors 68020


    Sep 26, 2001
    where the concrete to dirt ratio is better
    i think bill would win by default.

    steve would sit down and pull a ghandi.
  8. sonofslim macrumors 6502a


    Jun 6, 2003
    that's a total no-brainer. jobs would mop the floor with gates. i'm not even saying that out of mac loyalty; just look at the two guys. gates must weigh a buck twenty, soaking wet. jobs isn't all ripped or anything, but he's taller so you know he's got the reach. plus he gives keynote speeches in jeans and sneakers, which means he's ready to throw down on a moment's notice.

    and think about who's got their back. ballmer? sure, he's got the size, but we've all seen the video and we know he doesn't have the moves to back it up. you've got to float like a butterfly and sting like etc., not flail like a monkey. jonathan ives, on the other hand: you can tell he totally works out, plus he's british, so he's probably cracked at least one skull at some soccer match or pub brawl back in the day.

    survey says? jobs with the KO in round 3.
  9. tmornini macrumors member

    Jul 16, 2002
    San Francisco
    I think it entirely depends upon whose side Larry Ellison joins!

    That guy is twice as competitive as the other two put together, and likely
    twice as mean as well! :)

    Where in the *HELL* is Oracle for OS X?
  10. Apple Hobo macrumors 6502a

    Apple Hobo

    Mar 19, 2004
    A series of tubes
    I don't know about Ballmer. He might drop some serious Kung Fu (ok, maybe drunken bar fighting) on Jobs! The guy looks like he's on a serious crystal meth jag when he gives those Microsoft rallies.

  11. leftbanke7 macrumors 6502a


    Feb 4, 2004
    West Valley City, Utah
    Bill Gates is sneaky. I wouldn't hold it past him to be a 25th degree blackbelt in some martial art. If I were an uber geek, I'd make sure to be trained in some sort of self defense.

    Ballmer looks like he would get winded sliding his tray down the salad bar line.

    With Steve's temper, while his rage would help him some, his lack of technique due to his rage could hurt him in the long run.
  12. virividox macrumors 601


    Aug 19, 2003
    Manila - Nottingham - Philadelphia - Santa Barbar
    steve, he has a reality distortion field around him, bill would never be able to land a clean shot
  13. sonofslim macrumors 6502a


    Jun 6, 2003
    Apple Hobo, that last pic you posted of Ballmer -- in the black suit -- he really, really looks like Danny DeVito as the Penguin in Batman Returns.
  14. Inspector Lee macrumors 6502a

    Inspector Lee

    Jan 24, 2004
    East Lansing, MI
    I 100% back this. However... I see Gates throwing 99% of the punches in this scrap. They would be of the crowd-pleasing variety - poor form, nothing behind them, but wicked-looking from the nosebleed seats. Discarding any notion of defense, Gates would leave himself vulnerable for a knockout after every one. But Jobs would hesitate on the knockout blow. He'd often wind up and then realizing his form was not aesthetically perfect, pull back. In between rounds, Mac fans in attendance would be a nervous wreck. There would be mutterings of "here we go again..." According to the final stat sheet, Jobs throws and connects on 6 punches (dubbed "iHaymakers") but they are so spread out that Gates is able to recover from every one. As a result, the fight ends with both men standing. In the post-fight press conference, Jobs refers to each of his iHaymakers as "insanely great" but the general public declares Gates the winner because he threw 99% of the punches.
  15. jackieonasses macrumors 6502a


    Mar 3, 2004
    the great OKLAHOMA....
    i think the fight would be severely un-even (steve jobs better) so in humilation bill reaveals his sexuality by ripping his pants off, isnt that how he got the monopoly in the first place?
  16. yamabushi macrumors 65816


    Oct 6, 2003
    Gates would win by cheating. A dozen goons would tackle Jobs. Some would claim that Gates should be disqualified and Jobs should win by default. People would argue about who actually won for decades.
  17. Bob21 macrumors newbie

    Mar 11, 2004
    Yorkshire, UK
    I think Jobs would get off to a good start - using a flurry of martial arts moves on Gates. Gates, not having seen some of these moves before, would try to copy Jobs but makes a bad job of it and land on his a$$ :eek:

    Gates would then make a quick phone call (buying the referee association) and would win by cheeting :eek:

    Hmm, sounds like it would make a good Celebrity Deathmatch episode.
  18. bousozoku Moderator emeritus

    Jun 25, 2002
    Gone but not forgotten.
    After only a minute or two of executive sweating, Steve Jobs would fall dead due to Bill's legendary stench. ;)
  19. atari1356 macrumors 68000


    Feb 27, 2004
    Steve and Bill would battle it out in an ugly but fairly even match for an exhausting 30 minutes.

    Then Linus Torvalds would show up, push each of them to the ground and mumble something about "corporate whores" and "open source". :D
  20. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    May 19, 2002
    I see I'm not the only one who sees Billy coming out swinging like a girl.

    But when you're a billionaire you tend to get steroid-filled muscle to do this type of work anyway.
  21. Fukui macrumors 68000


    Jul 19, 2002
    Before the fight starts Bill would threaten to cancel office for Mac unless he licenced his fighting moves to Bill. Steve agrees to, but only in other fights, though a loop-hole in the licenence (from Bills Lawyer heritage) allows Bill to also use the techniques in the current one, and ends up a draw because Bill was able to use those fighting moves first cause steve didn't expect them. After the fight, a disgruntled swedish man flies by with a pie and slams it in Bills face causing bill to cry...poor boy.
  22. mactastic macrumors 68040


    Apr 24, 2003
  23. voicegy macrumors 65816


    Jan 1, 2002
    Sandy Eggo - MacRumors Member since 1-1-2002
    Well, let's see...Here's Bill. And here's Steve. I know how I'd bet. ;)

    Attached Files:

  24. wdlove macrumors P6


    Oct 20, 2002
    I say that Steve Jobs would win. He appears to be the more physically fit of the two. Steve has more charisma.
  25. BornAgainMac macrumors 603


    Feb 4, 2004
    Florida Resident
    A Simpsons Fan! I created a quicktime of that clip. Very funny.

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