Women of MR: Looking for some advice, please!

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devilot

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May 1, 2005
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I guess men can comment as well but I can pretty much envision the kind of responses I'd get. ;) Anyway, I was born a woman and I do identify as a woman... but I am so sick and tired of dealing w/ "womanly" hair!

I'm starting to seriouisly think about shaving my hair off. Not bald, clean, shiny head... just, set to like, a 1 or maybe a 0.

Don't you think it'd be nice to be able to motor w/ the windows down and not hafta give a second thought about that wind tearing apart your carefully-one-hour-session-sculpted-hairdo?

The thing is... I am a bit too aware of others' impressions and I don't want to be mistaken as "butch" because, A) I'm not, and B) I'm hetero, and C) I'm not butch! So what do you ladies, think?
 

Applespider

macrumors G4
Or just go for a 'do' that doesn't require an hour of careful sculpting? Or get into the Audrey Hepburn look and wear a scarf... I just go for the longish, tousled look these days!

Personally, I wouldn't go for my hair that short. I've had it pretty short in the past but you almost need to invest more in haircuts since you need it really well done to avoid if you're skinny looking like a prisoner of war, or if too chubby-cheeked looking like a bowling ball..
 

devilot

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Applespider said:
Personally, I wouldn't go for my hair that short. I've had it pretty short in the past but you almost need to invest more in haircuts since you need it really well done to avoid if you're skinny looking like a prisoner of war, or if too chubby-cheeked looking like a bowling ball..
Thanks for the quick reply. Hee... chubby-cheeked bowling ball would be me. Sigh. Yeah, my hair right now is just about chin-length; it does require trims, but my thought w/ shaving was that if it's allover, I can entrust my boyfriend to shave my head for me whenever I need a trim. Not to mention, all the fun and funky wigs I could wear! Hot pink one day, lime green another... really lonog and curly hair or simple bobs; ah the freedom of choice.

I just told my mom about my idea: she freaked out. Woops. hehe. Oh well, my hair, my head, my choice!
 
L

Lau

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I think some women can totally get away with it, and look fabulous, but some look really awful. The only way to find out is to try it, unfortunately, although if you've got a kind of cute pixie face you'll probably suit having very short hair.

I, sadly, don't suit it at all, but I loved having really short hair. I had it really short and cropped for a fair while. However my squarish, slightly chubby face shape looked gross with it, and cause I dress quite boyishly I looked really butch and scruffy. But until recently I had it as long as I needed it to look good, but still a 'short' haircut, which meant I actually looked female, but still didn't have to make much effort. Now I seem to have inadvertently grown a massive curly mop (see profile pic), but that's more out of laziness.

What about having it really short, but not actually shaved? A good hairdresser can make a really short cut (even like 1cm) still look styled by cutting it well, and it'll last a while. Also, hairdressers can be quite helpful about what suits your face shape. Mine told me that I needed a bit of hair showing behind my ears (cough-MULLET!-cough), which is definitely right, and as long as I keep to that I can get away with a short haircut that I wouldn't have done otherwise.

If you're anything like me (which by the fact that you're considering it means you may well be), i.e. less precious about your hair than some why not give it a shot? It'll be an inch long in a month if you don't like it, and then you could get a short styled thing going on....
 

pulsewidth947

macrumors 65816
Jan 25, 2005
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I just wanna throw in my 2¢. If its something you want doing, get it done. Its only hair, if it doesnt suit you wear a hat while it grows back - thats what I did.

I can understand what you are saying about it making you look butch, but providing you are happy with the way you look, try not to care what other people think - if people choose to judge you on the basis of your look, then its their problem not yours.

I personally think girls with short hair look just as beautiful if it suits them :)
 

devilot

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Lau said:
I, sadly, don't suit it at all, but I loved having really short hair. I had it really short and cropped for a fair while. However my squarish, slightly chubby face shape looked gross with it, and cause I dress quite boyishly I looked really butch and scruffy. But until recently I had it as long as I needed it to look good, but still a 'short' haircut, which meant I actually looked female, but still didn't have to make much effort.

What about having it really short, but not actually shaved? A good hairdresser can make a really short cut (even like 1cm) still look styled by cutting it well, and it'll last a while. Also, hairdressers can be quite helpful about what suits your face shape.

If you're anything like me (which by the fact that you're considering it means you may well be), i.e. less precious about your hair than some why not give it a shot? It'll be an inch long in a month if you don't like it, and then you could get a short styled thing going on....
That is really really good advice. Thank you so much. I think I will pop into my usual hair place and ask, "How short can I go?"

Yeah I really do have a chubby face... lemme insert a pic for reference, my hair is a little different now but this is my most recent pic:
 

Zachariah

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May 10, 2005
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(I'm a guy, but don't hold that against me :))

as long as the rest of you is womanly (clothes, etc) then no one that matters will mistake you for butch

bald is sexy
(even on women)
 

Lacero

macrumors 604
Jan 20, 2005
6,639
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Zachariah said:
as long as the rest of you is womanly (clothes, etc) then no one that matters will mistake you for butch

bald is sexy
(even on women)
Sorry I disagree. If you go bald, you might be mistaken for Telly Savalas. Unless that's your idea of getting attention, a girl with short locks is definitely hot.
 

mkrishnan

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Jan 9, 2004
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Dunno, devilot, I'd have a hard time seeing it on you. I totally agree with Lau -- there are some women who can look incredibly good with a buzz cut. Actually, same for men. I really like your hair the way it is in the picture, but I totally know what you mean about having to worry about it getting messed up all the time. :(

But then, too, people look good when they're comfortable. If you buzzed your hair and you loved it, and it made you happy, that happiness would show on the outside and it would make you look good. So that's something to take into account too.
 

topicolo

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Jun 4, 2002
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devilot76: I think you have already sort of decided what type of hairstyle you want but you may be a little hesitant about reactions from other people.

my advice: Do what you want to do and don't give a damn about what others think about you. Have fun and enjoy it ;-). It's your life and you can always use a little extra independence from the opinions of others.

cheers :)
 

devilot

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May 1, 2005
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Thanks for all the comments guys, er, people!

Topicolo: thanks for the well-meaning words, but I haven't really decided on a hairstyle yet. I just know that I would love something shorter than what I currently have but from everyone's helpful input I've broadened my idea of potential styles.

*Sniff* You guys are all so sweet! haha. I feel like I should gather you all up in a group hug... all this uber-supportive talk about being happy w/ your own self-image. Who needs meds or shrinks, when you got the MR community? ;)
 

QCassidy352

macrumors G4
Mar 20, 2003
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buzz cut on a girl can be sexy. Natalie Portman looked really good with super-short hair. I know you might say "but she's Natalie Portman!" but I think she looked good even for her. ;)

I think you can definitely pull it off without looking "butch" but it depends on how you dress and maybe even more importantly, how you carry yourself.
 

iGav

macrumors G3
Mar 9, 2002
9,025
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go for a suedehead ;) in the 4 - 8 range... that way you can still punk it up with some fudge. ;)
 
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Lau

Guest
Hey, devilot76, you don't have a chubby face! i think you'd look better than I did with really short hair, but the similarity between our face shapes is that we both have quite wide faces (I mean this in the nicest possible way, by the way!). And I found out that, oddly, people with wide faces suit wide haircuts. The reason that your haircut looks great (and it does) is because it's got quite a lot of hair at the sides, which you wouldn't have if you shaved it all orf.

I reckon a sorta chunky modern shortish cut with not too short hair at the sides would look great. Especially with some colour in it like in your pic! I found this picture on Google. I reckon it could actually be shorter than this, and it's a bit 'salony', but but it's a good example of how having short hair with a bit of length in the sides can still look good. And when my hair was this short it took about 2 seconds to style, and dried almost instantly.

Ooh, you've inspired me to cut my hair now. <Runs off to find scissors>
 

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mcarnes

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Mar 14, 2004
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Your hair might be getting in your face because you have long bangs (when driving with the windows down, etc). Maybe try a cut with short bangs? Those haircuts can look really cute on asian girls. I don't think shaving your head would look good.

I'm asian myself and went the opposite direction you did. I had long hair in medical school because I just didn't have time to style it everyday. It was easier to just tie it back in a pony tail and not deal with it. I'm a doctor now so am back to short hair again. :p
 

redeye be

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Jan 27, 2005
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If you go for the 1 cm or less trimmed cut, plz be careful when asking your boyfriend to cut it for you. Ten years back both my older sister and i had those cuts and we trimmed each-others hair.
One day in the bathroom when trimming away on my head she goes 'Woops'. I say 'What??'. She goes 'Nothing, i'll just finish this up, but i don't think i want my hair cut today'.
...

Good luck on deciding.
 

Doctor Q

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Sep 19, 2002
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devilot76, have you considered Photoshopping (or having somebody Photoshop) your photo to see how you'd look with less or little hair? It's easier to undo with Photoshop than it is with scissors.
 

rainman::|:|

macrumors 603
Feb 2, 2002
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Man, but gay, so my advice might be helpful :) my mom just went through a phase like this-- decided her hair, which had been long for her whole life, was just TOO MUCH TO DEAL WITH. Chopped it down to an inch. i can empathize, i occasionally grow my hair out, but usually give up (i just cut my shoulder-length hair back to short). So anyway, OK. You sound like you're really focused on the idea of shaved/very close. Traditionally a shaved female head has denoted a lesbian or cancer patient, obviously that's what you're afraid of. But there's a couple of factors here. First, that stereotype (and most others related to "gay/straight") is quickly dying. In fact the last 2 women I've seen with totally shaved heads were both straight, I just don't think there's a line anymore (the same way, men can pay attention to their appearance and not be considered gay anymore). So I think it's not something to be too afraid of: the world is changing quickly. Now the second part is just the general, how will people react? Personally I've always loved that part. My hair is bleach-blonde now, like white, which I know does not please people at work (or some of my family). But it's what I wanted to do, and I love it! Life is short, I think in the long-run, you'll be happier for taking the risk...

so I want to see pictures, but I'm sure you'll look great :)
 

Jaffa Cake

macrumors Core
Aug 1, 2004
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Doctor Q said:
devilot76, have you considered Photoshopping (or having somebody Photoshop) your photo to see how you'd look with less or little hair?
There's also this bit of software you could try the trial version of – I've never used it myself so I can't vouch for whether it's any good or not, although the colours on the web page look very lifelike. ;)

In any case, I second MacDawg's request for an after pic to see what you decide on!
 

Xtremehkr

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Jul 4, 2004
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It works for Natalie. It may be exciting to go with something bold every now and then.
 

corywoolf

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Jun 28, 2004
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pulsewidth947 said:
I'm sure I'm not the only one to be incredibly offended by this infantile, insensitive comment. Use your brain before you type.
I can't stand how everyone always has to be so poilitcally correct these days. The person obviously didn't mean it in a harsh way, they probably just meant a Chemo patient that loses their hair, and the only reason you guys get offended is because you think of it in a pestimistic way. I'm sure if the person wanted to mean it in a bad way, they could have said something like "you don't want to look like one of those ugly cancer patients" the person never said ugly. Its all in your head. Don't pounce on every little detail. Be honest, most people think of a cancer patient who takes chemo when they see a totally bald head, especially on a women. Its not good to stereotype, but its not realistic to always be politically correct on every nit pick detail. I don't mean for this to even turn into a argument over stereotypes or whether or not your offended.

just keep that in mind ;)
 

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