Figured out the "too polite" problem
I had the same problem when I upgraded our house full of Macs from 10.6 to 10.7. I don't want to have to hop up and walk to another computer when I want to screen share. No need for Apple's Remote Desktop ($80) or any 3rd party VNC client. Works with the native Finder/ built-in Screen Sharing app/ Apple's EasyScreenSharing app (free from App store).
In order to bypass the need to actively accept a screen sharing request on the target machine, the key appears to be that the screen sharing request has to be received by the target machine as coming from the user currently logged into the target machine. Simply using Finder to re-connect to said machine as that user is not enough. Clearing and re-populating Keychain entries seemed to do the trick. The following worked for me to get things back to the way they were:
- Restart the machines in question. There seems to be some residual sharing memory somewhere from previous sharing attempts.
- On the target machine(s), go to System Preferences/ Sharing/ Screen Sharing/ Allow access for: .... and make sure that access is allowed either for all users, or else under "Only these users:", include either the group "Administrators" or the user that is going to be logged in at the time you want to screen share.
- On the machine from which you wish to initiate the screen sharing request, launch Keychain Access and under the "login" keychain, sort the entries by Name to find the machine(s)/ user(s) of the target machine(s). In my case - the target machines only have a single user, so the name of the machine and the user are the same. You may see <Username> or <Username>.local entries or both. Delete these keychain entry(ies) and close Keychain Access.
- From Finder on your originating machine, click on the target machine. It will log you in only as Guest initially. Click "Connect As ..." and enter the name and password of the user that is currently logged in on the target machine. I'm assuming that said user has administrator privileges. Check "Remember this password in my keychain" and Connect. You are now connected for file sharing, logged in as the user on the target machine.
- Click on "Share Screen ...". Now, instead of the dialogue box asking you if you want to ask to share the screen or start a virtual desktop, you will get a box asking you to enter your name and password. Choose "As a registered user" and again enter the name and password of the user on the target machine, and again be sure to check "Remember this password in my keychain".
- I had to enter the names and passwords once each for connecting directly from Finder, for connecting via EasyScreenSharing, and for connecting via a <Username>.inetloc file I kept on my machine as a quick shortcut to launch Screen Sharing. Looking back at Keychain Access - it saves a separate entry for each one of these access methods and one for Finder File Sharing. But the net result is the same. Using any of the three approaches launches Screen Sharing and shares the target machine's desktop without need for confirmation.
