If you could say just one thing to Steve Jobs...

[IJ Reilly]

Imagine I'm Steve Jobs. Imagine you find yourself standing behind me in the checkout line at the Whole Foods Market. A big time Mac fan. A loyal Apple customer. You've got about 60 seconds to say that one thing to that you've always wanted Uncle Steve to hear. What would it be?

Please, no kissing me on the forehead and shouting, "I love you man!" I get way too much of that already.

So hit me with your best stuff. And make it quick. I'm a busy guy.

[Lacero]

Make a 2-button mouse, dumb-ass.










(for thick readers, that was a joke)

[ham_man]

Hire some non-dip****s to work in your iPod - I mean Apple - Stores... :rolleyes:

[Heb1228]

Good question... i'm not sure if I could think fast enough other than just to say something dumb like "keep up the good work!"

I might ask him something like When's Bill going to concede that you've won?

[mad jew]

"Thanks for the Mac, Steve."

And yes, the older Mac fans will notice a little bit of irony here but let's be honest, Apple under his reign has made the Mac what it is today. :)

Then I'd ask him why a self respecting man like himself is in a strip club.

[katie ta achoo]

"ba.. gah... muh! buh! ah! ...buh?! WHA? Th-th-thanks f-f-or the PowerBook. (more incoherent bumbling) Hey.. we got the same brand of soy milk."

OK, I'm not sure I'd be so bumbly and mono-syballic.
I've actually never met a famous person, so I don't know how I'd be.

Well. ...one time I saw the old one from 98 degrees when I was like 8. He asked what I was carrying. I told him it was my violin.

then, I saw LOCAL TV NEWS ANCHOR! OH MY! IT WAS AMAZING!

and I saw famous footballista from Mexico.

Ok lemme try talking to steve again:
"Hey, man. Thanks for the Tiger Night PowerBook. It rocks. Hard. Can I have a job? I would totally rock at being Oppenheimer's assistant. I can get coffee and read charts SO GOOD! If needed, I can also sweep the floor. I'm working on my Ph.D, I swear!"

[JFreak]

i'd say "thank you. please never retire."

[combatcolin]

Radically change gaming on the mac.

Make Apple a gaming publisher, offer Valve a load of money to fund the mac version of Half Life 2, and in return take a % of the sales.

Repeat as nessasary with the best PC games.

Mac gaming problem solved. WHICH LEADS TO..

Mac gaming reputation problem solved. WHICH LEADS TO..

More people buy Macs. WHICH LEADS TO..

More money for Apple.

[redAPPLE]

"i disagree with the Intel deal. We could discuss this while having lunch. what do you say?"

[fistful]

Something sinister like "hey, aren't you Bill Gates?"

[risc]

"Thanks for making the nicest hardware available since I was a kid, oh and make a 2 button mouse dumb-ass!"

[AmigoMac]

That black jean @ WWDC sucked big time, go back to the blue one.
You should visit macrumors.com personally.
and one more thing...
1 button mouse with scroll-touchpad.

[katie ta achoo]

Something sinister like "hey, aren't you Bill Gates?"

:eek:

Oh noes!
*thinking of Steve's reputation for being a little... Off the Handle*
OH NOES!!!

[Blue Velvet]

Hey Steve... how's it going?

Just one more thing, though...
Where are the TV ads for the Mac? Any Mac.

[AmigoMac]

Hey Steve... how's it going?

Just one more thing, though...
Where are the TV ads for the Mac? Any Mac.

Welcome back BV, long time since I read you last time, hope you're fine whatever the reason was... :)

[mad jew]

Just one more thing, though...


Nice. :D

[WinterMute]

Hi Steve, niiiice turtle-neck...

Could you possibly build me a PowerBook that doesn't melt on contact with my sweat please?

[javiercr]

Blue Velvet]Hey Steve... how's it going?

Just one more thing, though...
Where are the TV ads for the Mac? Any Mac.

there are macs all over, sex and the city, CSI, on TV it seems like Apple has like 80% market share :rolleyes:

[javiercr]

I would ask...: lets say you get 90% market share... would you still continue to try to control hardware, software and retail? or would you open up a bit and at license OSX ?

[Omen88]

When are you going to make Sculley CEO again?

[Chaszmyr]

"Where's the Airport Express with video streaming?"

[CubaTBird]

"hey your that ipod guy, i saw your pic on time mag like forever ago dude..... good vibes dude! (insert snicker/thumbs up that the dell dude used)" haha :p

[obeygiant]

"hey Steve, would you pay off my student loans?"

[iDM]

"Steve will you sign my chest?"

[runninmac]

I dont know I would probobly get way to excited, then embaress (sp?) my self.

BTW: Im from Mich and theres no Whole Foods but I went to one in NYC. WOW is all I have to say... its probobly the coolest food store in the world.

[IJ Reilly]

Video streaming. Mac ads. Both good questions. Thanks for asking. But my tofu is starting to get runny, so I'm outta here.

Any more questions before I hit the parking lot?

Oooh! Oooh! Steve! When are you going to license OSX to Dell or HP? You wouldn't even have to let them sell many computers -- just enough to get people who'd never buy an Mac from Apple comfortable with the idea... the markets would love it! No risk! All upside potential! Steve? Steve..?

[iDM]

Great idea for a thread, i wonder how much if any of the stuff we post on this forum ever makes it way in any form into decision making at Apple?

[obeygiant]

Great idea for a thread, i wonder how much if any of the stuff we post on this forum ever makes it way in any form into decision making at Apple?


probably 0.00% of it.

[obeygiant]

I dont know I would probobly get way to excited, then embaress (sp?) my self.

BTW: Im from Mich and theres no Whole Foods but I went to one in NYC. WOW is all I have to say... its probobly the coolest food store in the world.

we have one in Rochester Hills, Mi.

[rainman::|:|]

well the last time i felt it necessary to email him, i was bitching about apple's lawsuits against online journalism, how it would tarnish the brand and make people unhappy. Then the whole Rovegate thing happened, made Apple look like the UCLA. i'm sure he loves it when people like me take issue with his corporate management style, but oh well, that's what happens when you lead a cult :)

[Dr. Dastardly]

"You don't qualify for food stamps even though you only make a buck a year?! Thats messed up! But maybe the don't give them to @$$holes who take up 40 parking spaces with their damn jet."

[XNine]

Wanna go tepee the Redmnd campus and pick up their slutty employees? :)

[katie ta achoo]

Wanna go tepee the Redmnd campus and pick up their slutty employees? :)


I never type "lol"

but...

LOL
L O FREAKING L

OH MAN! I'm seriously just giggling here at my PB!

[yellow]

Hire me. You won't regret it.

[EGT]

INTEL!?


INTEL!?!?!?!?!!

[maya]

When can I have YOUR JOB? Jobs. ;) :)

[mymemory]

Read my signature... :rolleyes:

[thequicksilver]

I'd ask to shake his hand and wish him and his family all the best.

We already know enough about Apple anyway. I'd rather come across as a nice guy to an idol of mine as opposed to acting like an overexcited moron.

[runplaysleeprun]

Put this (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=137808&) in the next powermac/powerbook.

[puckhead193]

"will we see powerbook G5 next tuesday or a video ipod or an Itunes cellphone" :rolleyes: ;)

[iPoster]

Say Steve, want to know how to switch more Windoze users? One word:


Frame-rate!


:rolleyes:

[Tahko]

I dont know I would probobly get way to excited, then embaress (sp?)
An american who can't spell English fluently?! Embarass! :eek:


Oh anyway, I would propably tell him to go and read some rumoursites. Then I would question his decision to go Intel. Then I would invite him to join some grill party here in Finland, where sausages are good. No wonder he is vegetarian, Amerigan sausages taste like *****.
:p

[5300cs]

"Guess Titanium and paint don't mix too well together, huh? It's called BETA TESTING. Try it sometime."
"How about making some AC adapters that don't fray every 2 years?"
"Nice job on those dud iBook logic boards."
"Can you make the PowerBooks run ANY HOTTER?"
"Not all Mac users out there are on OS X there, my friend. Just thought I'd mention that to you."
"So, what kind of Mac are you using?"

and last but certainly NOT least ...

"BRING BACK THE NEWTON YOU #$%$&)(!"#$)&%$=!(#"%$#"

[runplaysleeprun]

"I've got some eggs here. the powerbook is in the car. i was going to make an omelet on my way home."

[GFLPraxis]

"Can I have a job at Apple? Pretty please?"

Alternatively,
"Give me that PowerBook G5!"

[ReanimationLP]

"Hey Buddy, oh, buddy, oh pal, can you possibly send me one of those G5s? :D"

and "OSX on Intel. You better come up with some damn good way to keep it off of non Macs, because people are getting close with the beta version."

[SpaceMagic]

You lot go on as if he is your idol, your god, your man. Shoot, he's just a business guy. Just a very good business guy. In all honesty, I wouldn't go weak at the knees, I wouldn't stutter, I'd just express my appreciation towards his and his colleagues term at Apple and the quality products which they're released.

Although, the "Man, aren't you Bill Gates?!" comment has to be the best so far :D

[Counterfit]

"We're not worthy! We're not worthy!"

[homerjward]

An american who can't spell English fluently?! Embarass! :eek:


embarrass :p
not that it really matters :)

i'd probably say something like "what sort of mac do you use?" or "can i have a free ipod if i carry your groceries out? :o" or perhaps "you should really check out this place called macrumors."

[iGary]

My iPod is always with me, I'd find a freaking Sharpie™ real quick, and then I'd probably, Christ, I'd freak out.

[katie ta achoo]

My iPod is always with me, I'd find a freaking Sharpie™ real quick, and then I'd probably, Christ, I'd freak out.


But.. what happens when you want ot listen to music?

I'd dip that thing in lucite, get a curio cabinet, just for it, and get a new iPod...
Even though I have 6 hrs. battery life/charge and it's a year old!


Hmm.. Am I allowed to pose another "what would you say if.." question?

Here goes!

What would you say if you saw Jonathan Ives Shopping at Ikea?

[njmac]

"I've got some eggs here. the powerbook is in the car. i was going to make an omelet on my way home."

hehe ROTFL! that is frigiin' hil.ar.ious

[wrxguy]

"Can I borrow some cash?"

[iGary]

"Whay have you done for me lately?"

[Lacero]

"Whay have you done for me lately?"Really iGary? I mighta thought you would say "Will you marry me, Steve Paul Jobs?"

[iGary]

Really iGary? I mighta thought you would say "Will you marry me, Steve Paul Jobs?"

LOL.

He'd have to drop the kids and the wife, though.

[jsalzer]

Forget having him sign my chest, I'd say,

"Can I sign *your* chest?"

or

"Boy, you look like iGary!"

or

"Moooooof!"

or

"Can you please put your hand on top of mine and show me how to use a mouse?"

And, unlike iGar, I'd let him keep the kids.

"Is that a one-button mouse in your pocket?"

;)

[iArtificialLife]

hmmm.....somthin' along the lines of
I WANT A PIPPIN G5


And no, i am not joking

[superninjagoat]

embarrass :p
not that it really matters :)

i'd probably say something like "what sort of mac do you use?" or "can i have a free ipod if i carry your groceries out? :o" or perhaps "you should really check out this place called macrumors."

Did anyone one else notice that, in the original post, "my self" should be one word? At least the poster knew he couldn't spell embarrass.

[jsalzer]

Who knows - maybe he meant "embrace"!

Steve is awfully cuddly.

:)

[freiheit]

I'd probably say something like "Sasquatch" because that's just the way I am when someone mentions saying just one thing.

[MacDawg]

"Thanks"

Woof, Woof - Dawg http://homepage.mac.com/k.j.vinson/pawprint.gif

[EJBasile]

Make iPod iPods out of Aluminum.

[rendezvouscp]

"Hi, I know you probably get this all the time, but I'm a Mac user since I was four and I've always wanted to meet you. Is there any chance that I might be able to talk to you for a little while at an Apple store or something? You, and Apple, have been a huge inspiration in my life, and I'd really like to chat with one of the most influential people in this generation."

I sound like I'm a huge fan of his, which part of me is, but I'd rather come off like I really want to talk to him than say I want to have not seem like it.
-Chase

[MacFan25863]

If I actually really did see him, I would probably act like I have no idea who he was. Wouldn't want to bother him or anything. Maybe if he was wearing an iPod, I would ask him about it, and say that I have one too. If he decided to "reveal" his idenity to me, I would ask him to sign mine.


But yeah. I've met celebritites before, and the best way to talk to them is not EVER mention their fame. They get so much of it, its probably nice to talk about something else.

[rendezvouscp]

If I actually really did see him, I would probably act like I have no idea who he was. Wouldn't want to bother him or anything. Maybe if he was wearing an iPod, I would ask him about it, and say that I have one too. If he decided to "reveal" his idenity to me, I would ask him to sign mine.


But yeah. I've met celebritites before, and the best way to talk to them is not EVER mention their fame. They get so much of it, its probably nice to talk about something else.


And that's the best idea. It would be cool if he was wearing an iPod though, I wonder what kind. I'd guess that he'd have a gray iPod mini.
-Chase

[IJ Reilly]

Steve is now racing out of the store. I had no idea he could sprint that fast.

[jsalzer]

Steve is now racing out of the store. I had no idea he could sprint that fast.

Hey, wait - he didn't pay for his milk! Someone tackle him!

;)

[puckhead193]

anyone photoshop a picture of you and Steve Jobs to fool your friends or thought it would be cool to have? :rolleyes:

[mpw]

"If you bump me with that trolley one more time I'm gonna' ram this ***kin' register up your....oh hey it's you, it is you isn't it, hey everyone it's Steve. Hey I loved Nemo, when's the sequel coming out?"
<<turns back to the register and continues with shopping. Starting quietly and building louder and louder with others around the registers and packing area joining in>>

"Two button mouse, two button mouse, two button mouse...etc"

<<pays and leaves>>

As Steve pulls out of the parking lot from no-where I dive across the hood of his car stare maniacally through the windshield and scream "WITH A SCROLL WHEEL"

<<falls from fast accelerating car>>

My work is done here.

[katie ta achoo]

anyone photoshop a picture of you and Steve Jobs to fool your friends or thought it would be cool to have? :rolleyes:


I did and someone thought it was real.


...haha, they must've lost their glasses. :p

[puckhead193]

I did and someone thought it was real.


...haha, they must've lost their glasses. :p
hahahahaha that's great :)
i wish i had the PS skills...

[SiliconAddict]

Hmmmm

So how are you guys doing on that 3Ghz G5? *Runs for cover as Jobs explodes taking out everything in a half mile radius.*

[IJ Reilly]

Hey, wait - he didn't pay for his milk! Someone tackle him!

;)

Steve's a vegan. He wouldn't be caught dead with a quart of milk.

[jiv3turkey748]

advertise idiot
or
make a laptop that isnt a total rip off
or
$50 for a wired mouse...wtf
or
a dell comes with a free monitor and printer, the mac mini doesnt even come with a keyboard and mouse
or
have you ever heard of 5400rpm harddrives?

but what i would probaly say is; i love apple, or something like that, because i wouldnt want to piss him off

[vniow]

Steve's a vegan. He wouldn't be caught dead with a quart of milk.

Unless its soy, almond, rice, etc...

[cwedl]

Can I have a job working in your top secret invention labs?

[Counterfit]

Hmmmm

So how are you guys doing on that 3Ghz G5? *Runs for cover as Jobs explodes taking out everything in a half mile radius.*
I think you got some pancreas on your cheek there man...

[Chaszmyr]

Make a 2-button mouse, dumb-ass.

He heard you and he listened, fast! maybe he's going to go through this thread introducing the products in order one per week :rolleyes:

[CanadaRAM]

"Excuse me sir, this is the express line and you've got more than 10 items... and NOT ONE OF THEM IS A FRIGGIN UPGRADED POWERBOOK!"


"No, sir, you have to press the RIGHT keypad button to OK your purchase, not keep double-clicking on the left one..."


"Excuse me sir, could you move your Aluminum Powerbook out of the way? It keeps blocking my wireless barcode scanner's signal..."


"Price check on 4, mock turtleneck soup!"

[cwright]

My dad and I saw him last year after the Macworld SF Keynote speech, getting into his shiny new BMW by the back door of the building. There was NO ONE there except us, not even security... We just yelled hi. He looked at us but didn't say anything, and left.

oh well, it was still fun :)

[PaRaGoNViCtiM]

ObeyGiant....Love your name and avatar!

[mpw]

"If you bump me with that trolley one more time I'm gonna' ram this ***kin' register up your....oh hey it's you, it is you isn't it, hey everyone it's Steve. Hey I loved Nemo, when's the sequel coming out?"
<<turns back to the register and continues with shopping. Starting quietly and building louder and louder with others around the registers and packing area joining in>>

"Two button mouse, two button mouse, two button mouse...etc"

<<pays and leaves>>

As Steve pulls out of the parking lot from no-where I dive across the hood of his car stare maniacally through the windshield and scream "WITH A SCROLL WHEEL"

<<falls from fast accelerating car>>

My work is done here.

No sooner screamed than done!

What do you want next, I'll do my best.

[Nermal]

Never underestimate the power of Jersey :p

For your next trick, can you give me some of the tax money you saved? :D

[Abstract]

"Your daughter is pretty hot. She single?"

[joey4127]

*What about a nice BT 2 button 1 scroll mouse?* :p

[cubist]

"Steve, Intel and TCPA is the path of the Dark Side. I'm extremely disappointed in you. I wish you well, but I won't be buying any of those computers. Why did you cave in? Microsoft envy?"

[brepublican]

Yo Steve, Powerbooks next Tuesday?

[iBlue]

"thank you" ;) then i'd hand him a banana

[pubwvj]

Imagine I'm Steve Jobs. Imagine you find yourself standing behind me in the checkout line at the Whole Foods Market. A big time Mac fan. A loyal Apple customer. You've got about 60 seconds to say that one thing to that you've always wanted Uncle Steve to hear. What would it be?

Please continue to support legacy applications and data (Classic).

[ToastCabbit]

"Hey, aren't you that guy who makes things starting with 'i'?"

[ReanimationLP]

Wanna trade pants? Yours looks mighty comfy. :D

[Jay42]

Bluetooth shuffle with matching wireless buds! I'd pay.

[jaw04005]

Can you get someone to fix my .Mac sync errors, it's only been six months?

[jsalzer]

Can you get someone to fix my .Mac sync errors, it's only been six months?

You know, I've been fighting that myself. iCal on my laptop just refuses to sync with .Mac and my other Mac. Just spent 2 hours looking for some preference somewhere that maybe I had wrong. Laughed (with relief) when I just got the e-mail notification with your response in it.

Thanks!

:)

[jaw04005]

My dad and I saw him last year after the Macworld SF Keynote speech, getting into his shiny new BMW by the back door of the building. There was NO ONE there except us, not even security... We just yelled hi. He looked at us but didn't say anything, and left.

oh well, it was still fun :)

That's hilarious. I guess all available security was guarding the curtains over Apple's booth. :)

For such a icon, he leads a rather private life nowdays. You never see pictures of his kids or his wife in anything. I can't say I blame him!

[jaw04005]

You know, I've been fighting that myself. iCal on my laptop just refuses to sync with .Mac and my other Mac. Just spent 2 hours looking for some preference somewhere that maybe I had wrong. Laughed (with relief) when I just got the e-mail notification with your response in it.

Thanks!

:)

Not to pull this thread off topic, but Dorothy over at Apple's .Mac support boards will be glad to help you with sync issues, unless of course your like me and your issues were related solely to your account on Apple's .Mac syncronization server. Good luck. ;)

http://discussions.info.apple.com/webx?14@500.qxzXamhfRun.1@.68b12ca4

[emmawu]

Thanks for changing my life and opening up a whole new world which is truly fascinating. I think you've made a significant dent in the universe. Well done.

[savar]

GIVE ME A JOB!

[mad jew]

GIVE ME A JOB!


This is a family friendly board. :o

[NicP]

i'd ask for gapless playback on the ipod :D

[IJ Reilly]

This is a family friendly board. :o

Well it was, anyhow. :eek:

[ITASOR]

"I made a popsicle stick that looks like you and people actually bought it."

[RobHague]

"Please please please please please, Keep PPC alive forever. Nice hair cut btw." :D "...Oh and how about some Mac gaming periferals that look as stylish as the keyboard and mice?"

Oh yeah and of course "Can i have some money?" ;)

[Deepdale]

Imagine I'm Steve Jobs. ... You've got about 60 seconds to say that one thing to that you've always wanted Uncle Steve to hear. What would it be?

"I admire your creativity and vision, but there is an area that bewilders many prospective customers. Assuming it is not made out of a coveted mix of gold, platinum and diamond, what is the justification for Apple charging the outlandish price it does for additional installed RAM?

There is a notable distinction between a healthy profit margin and a blatant ripoff. As you know, your company already has a built-in price increase compared to the competition and most users are accepting of that. Do not make buyers feel as if Apple RAM is sold by OPEC."

[iFaulder]

i think i would say "could you stop wearing the same clothing."

[zap2]

Thank, you saved me from Windows, from Bill and you gave me something great , a Flawless Computer and a Great Music Player. You gave people something to choice other then Windows.

Can i have a
PowerBook 12''
iPod Nano( 4gb and Black)
?

Can you make a Media Mac?

[sjpetry]

"I seemed to have misplace my pants, have you seen them?"

[IJ Reilly]

"I admire your creativity and vision, but there is an area that bewilders many prospective customers. Assuming it is not made out of a coveted mix of gold, platinum and diamond, what is the justification for Apple charging the outlandish price it does for additional installed RAM?

There is a notable distinction between a healthy profit margin and a blatant ripoff. As you know, your company already has a built-in price increase compared to the competition and most users are accepting of that. Do not make buyers feel as if Apple RAM is sold by OPEC."

Good question. And I be happy to answer it, but I think I hear the alarm going off on my BMW. Thanks for buying your RAM from Apple! Seeya!

[leekohler]

Thanks for your great products. Because of your company, I'm working at an ad job I love. I don't know if I could have done it without Apple.

[Kobushi]

"thanks for the cool computer and my iPod(s), but why did you just puke on my monitor with that God-awful iTunes 5.0 GUI?"

[maya]

Christmas Dinner, my place. :D

All the Christmas Gifts. :)

[iindigo]

I'd say this:

"Why on earth is iTunes STILL carbon and STILL using custom interface elements? There's no reason for it! Make me head of the iTunes design team NOW! Some big changes are underway."

[seriypshick]

Make an iPod slot loading car stereo. Also, thank You.