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View Full Version : 17years old and all the hot girls fancy me. So why am I mad?


mpw
Feb 24, 2006, 04:54 AM
17years old and all the hot girls fancy me.:mad: So why am I mad?

Because Iím in my late 20ís(very late 20ís, so late they begin with a 3) and Iím married with kids.

I keep meeting girls I knew from school, college etc. when I was in my teens and early 20ís and get talking about the past etc. only to have them come out with stuff like ďOh I really fancied you back thenĒ.

It pisses me off Ďcause I know how unhappy I was at that age with being single, although when I say this everyone who knew me says I was, am and always have been outwardly very happy.

In the last couple of years Iíve spoken with, or my friends have and relayed the stories to me, at least 7 old friends who wanted to be more than just friends.

Yesterday it was a girl, who I fancied back then too, who went out with my friend so she could spend time with me. Of course I never made the move she was waiting for because she was with my friend. After a few weeks she dumped him but I still didn't make any move 'cause that would've hurt my friend at the time.

Why didnít they tell me/ask me out then? And even more annoying why did some of the ones I asked out then turn me down?

Apparently it would seem my friends got all the action Ďcause they drank while I didnít and that meant that they could blame any embarrassing encounters on the booze the next day when things didnít work out.

[/rant]

The point of this thread is to advise our younger members who are desperately trying to start relationships that, if you like someone TELL THEM. Whatís the worst that could happen?

You might want to consider drinking within reason too, the hot chicks love it!

realityisterror
Feb 24, 2006, 05:26 AM
I think you should just be flattered that they did like you...
I mean you're married now, and unless you're unhappy with your wife ( :rolleyes: ), nothing would have changed.

reality

vprp
Feb 24, 2006, 05:32 AM
I agree that if you like someone, you should go for it. The worst thing that can happen is you get rejected. Sure, it may hurt for a while... or a few seconds but think of the best can happen. Plus, if you never go for it, you'll never know how things may have turned out.

mouchoir
Feb 24, 2006, 05:59 AM
I agree that if you like someone, you should go for it. The worst thing that can happen is you get rejected. Sure, it may hurt for a while... or a few seconds but think of the best can happen. Plus, if you never go for it, you'll never know how things may have turned out.

Erm, interesting advice to a man that's married with kids... :(

My advice is 'Get over it'. It's really not worth worrying about now. I've been through a similar thing over the years, but just try and take it as a complement and take some confidence from it.

If you are happy now that it all that matters.

mad jew
Feb 24, 2006, 06:01 AM
The point of this thread is to advise our younger members who are desperately trying to start relationships that, if you like someone TELL THEM. Whatís the worst that could happen?


That's excellent advice. Go an' get 'em. I have heaps of male friends who desperately want girls but they don't get out there enough. They don't talk to girls. It's like they expect the girls to just jump into their laps and beg for a date... Crazy kids.


You might want to consider drinking within reason too, the hot chicks love it!


Or the chicks get hotter once you start drinking...

mpw, I try to have no regrets. What's done is done and missed opportunities are just that; missed. It may have sucked at the time but it probably doesn't suck now. :cool:

iSaint
Feb 24, 2006, 06:23 AM
They see a good man in a good marriage and they're jealous of not settling down themselves already.

Joe2000
Feb 24, 2006, 06:30 AM
I thought this forum was about Mac's:rolleyes:

mad jew
Feb 24, 2006, 06:33 AM
Mac's what? Mac's sarcastic face?

Abstract
Feb 24, 2006, 07:11 AM
He IS talking about Macs.......mack'in chicks in high school.

Anyway, grow up man. I know I shouldn't say this after what I just said, but I'm not old like you.

Josh
Feb 24, 2006, 07:14 AM
Maybe its because back then you didn't talk of yourself so highly?

Just an idear.

pseudobrit
Feb 24, 2006, 07:20 AM
I thought this forum was about Mac's:rolleyes:

These are the community discussion forums of MacRumors forums.

If you want to talk about Macs (or Mac's -- whoever that is) there are plenty of other forums -- most of them -- subdivided appropiately into little compartments.

Now **** or play nice. And keep your eyerolling to yourself. And try to tone down the giant text size next time you insult the whole ****ing board, newb.

Mr. Anderson
Feb 24, 2006, 07:33 AM
What ifs...bleh - if you take the time to worry about them, its only time wasted.

You said you're married with kids - think of it this way - if you had hooked up with any of these other women you probably wouldn't have your kids now...

I married late in life (37) and my wife was a little older than me and we sometimes talk about how cool it would have been to meet earlier - but then I wouldn't be chasing this little guy around in the snow - I wouldn't change a thing. :D

D

jadekitty24
Feb 24, 2006, 07:38 AM
Sounds to me like you're a tad regretful with how your life turned out. If you were currently truly happy I don't think that would bother you so much.

kenneth
Feb 24, 2006, 07:44 AM
Think of all the "wonderful" uncurable forms of VD you could of caught from one of those hot girls back then. Be glad you didn't.

Chundles
Feb 24, 2006, 07:49 AM
I thought this forum was about Mac's:rolleyes:

Macs? What the? This forum is about MACS??? I bloody hate Macs!! Why have I been hanging out here for the past two years?

Thanks joe2000, back to winsupersite I go.....
And they named him "Noob" for he was the opposite of Boon.

jsw
Feb 24, 2006, 08:16 AM
I get what mpw is saying.

Maybe he's happy now, maybe not, but that's not the point. The point is that, when younger, he was unhappy, and now he's thinking that, if he had only acted on his impulses, he might have been happier back then. So his advice is to act on your interest in someone instead of hoping it'll magically happen without any work on your part.

I think that's good advice. Regrets suck, and the "never tried" regrets are enormously worse than the "it didn't work out" regrets. Except when it comes to parachuting, but that's a different story.

Macs? What the? This forum is about MACS??? I bloody hate Macs!! Why have I been hanging out here for the past two years?
Actually, it is about MACs (although we're in the Community forum). The one on my iMac is 00:ca:fe:ba:be:00, which is pretty cool if you're a Java geek. And since it refers to Café babes, it's relevant, somewhat, to this thread. ;) and, no, that isn't my real MAC address. ;-)

freeny
Feb 24, 2006, 08:29 AM
This is typical "midlife" crisis. The move from your 20's to your 30's is the official jump from childhood to adulthood. I have had the same experiences as I'm sure alot of others have too. I too am also married with child. The reason the ladies are finally voicing their opinions is because they feel it is safe now that they are "adults" and have a comfortable distance from the adolescence of highschool. Also in highschool, most people are confined to the cliques and social structure that is teendom. If you were a "geek" in highschool, or some other social deseased stereotype, most of these girls would never had asked you out or accepted a date seeing that it could have damaged their reputation even if they were attracted to you. Now that they are "adults" its safe.

Just take these advancements as flattery and move on. Their loss;)

keysersoze
Feb 24, 2006, 08:34 AM
The point of this thread is to advise our younger members who are desperately trying to start relationships that, if you like someone TELL THEM. Whatís the worst that could happen?


Umm... they think you're a loser psycho and tell all of their friends so you have NO shot at dating any of them, and you are left to either date a fugly girl or the hand of your choice.

:p

floriflee
Feb 24, 2006, 08:37 AM
Umm... they think you're a loser psycho and tell all of their friends so you have NO shot at dating any of them, and you are left to either date a fugly girl or the hand of your choice.

:p

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

The point is, there are always going to be "what ifs" in life no matter what you do. Just try to make sure the "what ifs" don't turn into major regrets. I say if you're happy with how things are now then the "what ifs" are really minor.

macartistkel
Feb 24, 2006, 08:43 AM
Not really understanding why you keep using the term "fancied" :D because I have never heard someone in this day and age use that, but anyway, yeah I see the point you made as well. :)

....I am getting off the subject here a little and ranting about something that bothers me, but I REALLY get upset at people that live in the past. I can agree with the whole cliche in most cases that "grass is always greener"---and most people want what they can't have instead of enjoying what they do have (i'm guilty of this too sometimes). I also regret A LOT about some of the things I have done in life, but I always MOVE ON for the most part and realize there was a pretty good reason why things have turned out this way. :)

floriflee
Feb 24, 2006, 08:50 AM
I guess the question is whether mpw is living in the past and having a hard time moving on, or whether he is just being reflective and trying to offer some advice/insight to the younger folk. I'm thinking it's the latter, but I could be wrong.

mpw
Feb 24, 2006, 08:57 AM
Just so we're clear I'm as happy with my wife as any man I know and wouldn't give up my kids for anything in the world.

Without picking out any particular post I'll just say that in hindsight I wouldn't want not to meet my current wife and have the family I have now. But as a teenager/20summit' I was unhappy without a girl and DID ask a couple of these girls out and get rejected. It wouldíve be a fun few years for all involved and I canít see that it would be anything to look back on with regret. Had I hooked-up with one of them and not my wife Iíd still as likely have been just as happy only a lot earlier.

mpw
Feb 24, 2006, 09:19 AM
...If you were a "geek" in highschool, or some other social deseased stereotype, most of these girls would never had asked you out or accepted a date seeing that it could have damaged their reputation even if they were attracted to you. Now that they are "adults" its safe...

I wasn't a geek, my 'problem' was I didn't drink and was 'percieved' as boring for that.

I remember one incident when I was at a party and one girl got really drunk, being a gentleman and sober I walked her home. The walk did her good, she puked and she pissed herself but felt a lot better for it so showered and got dressed again and went back to the party (against my suggestion of going to bed, alone).

Now she says she spurned my romantic advances that night because she knew I was sober and didnít want to appear a slut to a sober guy. I kind of get what she means when she says that.

But because she was drunk she didnít have a problem with then going off with three of my drunk friends and [edited out of family forum]. Needless to say she had a hard time combing her hair the next morning.

dornoforpyros
Feb 24, 2006, 09:22 AM
damn, if only time travel would work, you could go back to 1982...man you could a been a star....

sushi
Feb 24, 2006, 09:33 AM
They see a good man in a good marriage and they're jealous of not settling down themselves already.
Or see how good he turned out to be and now wishes they had done something in the past.

In other words, at the time they considered and rejected for whatever reason. Now that they see how he turned out they are having second thoughts.

sushi
Feb 24, 2006, 09:41 AM
Had I hooked-up with one of them and not my wife Iíd still as likely have been just as happy only a lot earlier.
Ah, so you are having second thoughts.

Our experiences define who we are. The path that you take defines where you end up. If you go back and take a different fork in the road, then you would have ended up differently.

Don't second guess yourself. We all do it occasionally. But don't.

floriflee
Feb 24, 2006, 09:46 AM
Ha ha ha! Reminds me of that movie.... uh... Mr. Destiny. :D

revenuee
Feb 24, 2006, 09:47 AM
a. women are attracted to a challenge ... the only way you could be more of a challenge is MAYBE (maybe not) a priest

b. women just say things, and they get a reaction like the one you have now. rather then bitching about it, you need to tell them "you missed out, deal with it" <-- the most powerful thing you can say is NO

link92
Feb 24, 2006, 09:47 AM
Sometimes I just get fed up with so many girls fancying me, sometimes it seriously annoys me. :eek:

Any advice?

jsw
Feb 24, 2006, 09:50 AM
women are attracted to a challenge ...
Everyone is attracted to a challenge.

Sometimes I just get fed up with so many girls fancying me, sometimes it seriously annoys me. :eek:

Any advice?
Well, Prince William, it's just one of the burdens you bear as a future king. Best of luck with all that.

revenuee
Feb 24, 2006, 09:51 AM
Sometimes I just get fed up with so many girls fancying me, sometimes it seriously annoys me. :eek:

Any advice?

sleep with them ;)

aquajet
Feb 24, 2006, 09:55 AM
Sometimes I just get fed up with so many girls fancying me, sometimes it seriously annoys me. :eek:

Any advice?

I had the same problem, so I decided to be gay. :rolleyes:

Maybe you should do the same.

floriflee
Feb 24, 2006, 10:03 AM
I had the same problem, so I decided to be gay. :rolleyes:

Maybe you should do the same.

Is that why all the hot men are gay?? How nice to have that mystery revealed! :rolleyes:

freeny
Feb 24, 2006, 10:06 AM
I had the same problem, so I decided to be gay. :rolleyes:

Maybe you should do the same.
Unfortunately that tactic will only make the girls fancy you more...

w_parietti22
Feb 24, 2006, 10:10 AM
Sometimes I just get fed up with so many girls fancying me, sometimes it seriously annoys me. :eek:

Any advice?

ummm.... how can that be a bad thing?

sushi
Feb 24, 2006, 10:19 AM
ummm.... how can that be a bad thing?
Really.

Then again, it may be a lame attempt at trying to impress us on how many women are chasing him! :D

aloofman
Feb 24, 2006, 10:35 AM
Why didn’t they tell me/ask me out then? And even more annoying why did some of the ones I asked out then turn me down?

The point of this thread is to advise our younger members who are desperately trying to start relationships that, if you like someone TELL THEM. What’s the worst that could happen?


Some thoughts:

1) They have selective memory about how much they really liked you at the time. It's an easy thing to say now, but if they showed no sign of it at the time then that's their fault.

2) A bizarre counter-logic takes over some people that convinces them that running away from someone (or ignoring them) will get them to chase you. Trust me when I say that -- in the long run -- your life is far better because you didn't.

3) This is their way of saying that you were smarter than they were and it took them years to realize that.

4) Hindsight isn't just 20/20. It's selective too. You probably don't dwell much on things that made you happy and how much worse they could have been.

5) Expecting a woman to ask you out is the strategy of a crazy man. Show me a guy who expects women to ask him out, and I'll show you a guy who hasn't been on many dates.

aloofman
Feb 24, 2006, 10:38 AM
I wasn't a geek, my 'problem' was I didn't drink and was 'percieved' as boring for that.

I remember one incident when I was at a party and one girl got really drunk, being a gentleman and sober I walked her home. The walk did her good, she puked and she pissed herself but felt a lot better for it so showered and got dressed again and went back to the party (against my suggestion of going to bed, alone).

Now she says she spurned my romantic advances that night because she knew I was sober and didnít want to appear a slut to a sober guy. I kind of get what she means when she says that.

But because she was drunk she didnít have a problem with then going off with three of my drunk friends and [edited out of family forum]. Needless to say she had a hard time combing her hair the next morning.

Sounds to me like your instincts were correct and you dodged a bullet. 17-year-olds don't know what the hell they want.

jsw
Feb 24, 2006, 10:39 AM
5) Expecting a woman to ask you out is the strategy of a crazy man. Show me a guy who expects women to ask him out, and I'll show you a guy who hasn't been on many dates.
Or a future king of England, or some insanely attractive guy, or a rich guy. Or some combination thereof. ;)
But because she was drunk she didn’t have a problem with then going off with three of my drunk friends and [edited out of family forum]. Needless to say she had a hard time combing her hair the next morning.You lost out on a real winner there. :rolleyes:

FSUSem1noles
Feb 24, 2006, 10:45 AM
Just learn to live with it..

It's a fact that women find married, older men appealing..

No reason to be mad at that! :cool:

Josh
Feb 24, 2006, 10:54 AM
5) Expecting a woman to ask you out is the strategy of a crazy man. Show me a guy who expects women to ask him out, and I'll show you a guy who hasn't been on many dates.

I have *rarely* if *ever* asked anyone on a date.

I'm very interested in women, I have just never been the type to "chase" them.

The way I see it, is the harder you look to find something, the less satisfying it will be when you find it.

For example: You could spend every day scanning the sidewalks for dropped money. You're going to find nickels and dimes all the time.

But that wont be nearly as pleasant as finding that $20 bill completely unexpected, which happens very rarely.

Now it works both ways too - I won't date a girl who is obviously "searching." This is why I don't go to clubs and take part in that scene.

I've turned down a fair share of dates, and have been on more than I probably should have.

Just because a guy doesn't seek out and ask girls out on dates does not mean he doesn't or hasn't gone on a lot of them.

GoCubsGo
Feb 24, 2006, 11:02 AM
Mac's what? Mac's sarcastic face?
I second that!

And dude, your title makes less sense than your post. How I read it was that you like some 17 year old and you're 20 and married. Bottom line is you're married, keep it in your pants and go back to your family.

macartistkel
Feb 24, 2006, 11:13 AM
17-year-olds don't know what the hell they want.
----------------------------------

Thank you, finally someone making some sense around here.

Now that I think about it some more, for some chick to bring something like that up AFTER this many years is kind of ridiculous to me (unless of course it was a close friendship between you and the girl and she never wanted to mess that up so she kept all those feelings to herself) Other than that it sounds like someone is just trying to get attention from you NOW or flirting.

Now personally you should have regretted that fact that you did NOT ever drink socially in high school more than anything if I were you. Its a personal choice I realize but you should've still made friends and hung out even though you didn't drink. Some of the best times I had in high school involved drinking--not necessarily getting drunk and losing control all the time but LAUGHING at all the random things that would happen--you can never have those times again. :D

maestro55
Feb 24, 2006, 11:14 AM
Really, it is pointless to worry about such things. You are married now and unless you are unhappy now, it shouldn't matter. Who knows how things would have turned out if you did date all these girls in high school, what if you got married to a different woman, instead? Would you be happy now? As long as you and your family are happy I don't see the point in dwelling on the past.

jsw
Feb 24, 2006, 11:17 AM
I do think people are continuing to miss the point - as I see it - of his post, which is that his younger days would have been happier had he acted more on his interests.

Maybe today isn't his happiest day ever, so he's thinking these thoughts, but I don't think he's out to sleep with all the women he could have over a decade ago. I think he's just trying to tell people to avoid the regret of never acting, that's all.

It doesn't mean he doesn't love his wife. It doesn't mean he doesn't love his family. It just means - as I see it - that he regrets being so shy or inactive or whatever when younger.

And, yes, we all have days we ponder what could have been. This is one of his. I don't see a problem with it - I don't see it as a sign he's about to destroy his family with an affair or whatever.

Of course, then again, what do I know? ;)

aloofman
Feb 24, 2006, 11:19 AM
I have *rarely* if *ever* asked anyone on a date.

I'm very interested in women, I have just never been the type to "chase" them.

Just because a guy doesn't seek out and ask girls out on dates does not mean he doesn't or hasn't gone on a lot of them.

I don't think asking a woman out constitutes chasing them, in and of itself. It's just what almost always has to be done for a date to happen.

I don't get the same analysis from your loose change analogy. Most people don't pick up the nickels and dimes because it's not worth the effort. And people who do pick up loose change can accumulate it and eventually buy something of value. Collecting dud dates does not equal a special someone, however. On the other hand, meeting someone you really dig is all about patience and keeping your eyes open, like finding the $20 bill but with a much bigger payoff.

A lot of people seem to think that dating is like applying for a job, but I say it's more like winning the lottery. It has nothing to do with earning or deserving someone special. If you play more, you win more and you lose more. How much you want to deal with the winning and losing is the choice we're really making.

macartistkel
Feb 24, 2006, 11:24 AM
I do think people are continuing to miss the point - as I see it - of his post, which is that his younger days would have been happier had he acted more on his interests.


I am not missing the point...I could go on all day about this stuff though...the point is that it is all POINTLESS to think about. Oh I WISH my parents had got me into snowboarding when I was like 10---I would trade all the years I was a swimmer and going back and forth swimming laps to be on a board every day! BUT that is life--we all look back and wish we had known things! Geez!!

floriflee
Feb 24, 2006, 11:28 AM
----------------------------------
Now personally you should have regretted that fact that you did NOT ever drink socially in high school more than anything if I were you. Its a personal choice I realize but you should've still made friends and hung out even though you didn't drink. Some of the best times I had in high school involved drinking--not necessarily getting drunk and losing control all the time but LAUGHING at all the random things that would happen--you can never have those times again. :D

Because you can't have fun sober?? I say there's nothing wrong with not drinking in high school. You can still be pals, go to parties and hang out. Maybe you won't feel exactly the same way as everyone else, but you can still really enjoy yourself. I know this as a non-drinker. Drinking is not a must to have good times. It's all a matter of how you decide to interact with everyone else who is drinking when you're not.

macartistkel
Feb 24, 2006, 11:32 AM
Because you can't have fun sober?? I say there's nothing wrong with not drinking in high school. You can still be pals, go to parties and hang out. Maybe you won't feel exactly the same way as everyone else, but you can still really enjoy yourself. I know this as a non-drinker. Drinking is not a must to have good times. It's all a matter of how you decide to interact with everyone else who is drinking when you're not.

And that is exactly what I said Floriflee...I stated he should have not isolated himself away from everyone just because he chose not to drink! :) There were plenty of times I didn't drink--I was scared of my parents but I had a great time with everyone else! :)

MacRy
Feb 24, 2006, 12:13 PM
I read your post dude and all it said to me was

"My wife is a lumbering gurner, I wish i'd married someone hotter!"

I'm sure she'd be really touched to read that.

mrzeve
Feb 24, 2006, 12:32 PM
Fancy you?

Who are you, Scott Goober?

link92
Feb 24, 2006, 12:42 PM
Well, Prince William, it's just one of the burdens you bear as a future king. Best of luck with all that.
Well, I have said I live in FifeÖ :p

sleep with them ;)

Even though it's illegal? :p

ummm.... how can that be a bad thing?

Because you're never left alone?

mpw
Feb 24, 2006, 01:01 PM
I do think people are continuing to miss the point - as I see it - of his post, which is that his younger days would have been happier...
...I think he's just trying to tell people to avoid the regret of never acting, that's all...
...It doesn't mean he doesn't love his wife. It doesn't mean he doesn't love his family....
...I don't see it as a sign he's about to destroy his family with an affair or whatever...
Bingo
...would have been happier had he acted more on his interests...
...Maybe today isn't his happiest day ever, so he's thinking these thoughts...

Why today? Because my wife just happen to become friendly with a woman through them both having children at the same toddler group and it turns out she was one of the girls I'm talking about, she was laughing about it with my wife who relayed the story to me.

Would I be happier now? Can't see how it would change the present but I'd certainly have been happier then.

I am not missing the point...
...it is all POINTLESS to think about...
...BUT that is life--we all look back and wish we had known things! Geez!!
The point of my post was to use my experience to help others not try to change what I've got now. When my girls are older I'll give them the same advice. Don't turn away trying to get a guy to chase you, just be honest yes I like you, see where it goes or no, but no hard feelings.
...I stated he should have not isolated himself away from everyone just because he chose not to drink!...
I didn't isolate myself, I still went out. I just wouldn't force myself on a drunk girl while I was sober. Some of my drunk friends went on when a girl said no and talking, now, to some of those girls it turns out they were saying no but letting the drunk guys carry on so that they could enjoy the moment but turn around in the morning and pass the blame if it didn't work out. Foolish and dangerous, luckily nothing bad ever happen within the group I partied with.

macartistkel
Feb 24, 2006, 01:12 PM
I read your post dude and all it said to me was

"My wife is a lumbering gurner, I wish i'd married someone hotter!"

I'm sure she'd be really touched to read that.

No chit! And I am not trying to piss you off mpw at all, but you do NOT give the impression you are IN LOVE----after falling in love with one person you should want to erase everyone you were ever went out with from your memory--thats how I felt at least.) To waste your time to come on here and discuss THIS matter sounds like to me you are not THAT happy or in love with your wife and its sad you would be angry that you missed some sort of opportunity to score with other women??!! :rolleyes:

Josh
Feb 24, 2006, 01:22 PM
Fancy you?

Who are you, Scott Goober?

Haha...exactly.

Sorry, no girl in Jersey is going to say that she "fancied" you.

<snobbish English accent>
Perhaps, my dear mpw, if one could be bothered such to put down his most delectable tea, one my benefit of getting down from such a high horse. Indeed, the ground, as you will find, is much the merrier! Oh how agreeable it is! It will tickle your fancy most asuredly!
</snobbish English accent>

2nyRiggz
Feb 24, 2006, 01:31 PM
The point of this thread is to advise our younger members who are desperately trying to start relationships that, if you like someone TELL THEM. What’s the worst that could happen?

You might want to consider drinking within reason too, the hot chicks love it!

I'm feeling this, i lost someone i like this because I punked out now shes married and happy and i'm here...oh well. If you like em tell em...but watch out cuz they might not like you back and use you for all its worth...feelings are beautiful arent they:(


Bless

aquajet
Feb 24, 2006, 01:38 PM
Unfortunately that tactic will only make the girls fancy you more...

If you're a total flamer, then they just want to be your friend, and that's fine with me. ;)

oakdryad5
Feb 24, 2006, 01:49 PM
No chit! And I am not trying to piss you off mpw at all, but you do NOT give the impression you are IN LOVE----after falling in love with one person you should want to erase everyone you were ever went out with from your memory--thats how I felt at least.) To waste your time to come on here and discuss THIS matter sounds like to me you are not THAT happy or in love with your wife and its sad you would be angry that you missed some sort of opportunity to score with other women??!! :rolleyes:

i agree...maybe this is not what you meant, but it sounds like it from your word choice. especially when you said you'd be just as happy only earlier, it made me think of this article
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/44917

macartistkel
Feb 24, 2006, 01:55 PM
i agree...maybe this is not what you meant, but it sounds like it from your word choice. especially when you said you'd be just as happy only earlier, it made me think of this article
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/44917

Oh great, written like a TRUE PIG!!! :mad:

It would take a lot of people to hold me back from shaking this dude "Bryce W. Brant" like a rag doll and slapping him across his face. What a worthless human being--again, if my husband ever said these things to me I would NEVER speak to him again right after kicking him in the balls! ;)

Abstract
Feb 24, 2006, 02:07 PM
Had I hooked-up with one of them and not my wife Iíd still as likely have been just as happy only a lot earlier.

Haha, so your wife isn't really "the one." She's just one of many girls who could have filled the gap. Or maybe you just wanted to fill more gaps when you were younger. I don't know.

Lau
Feb 24, 2006, 02:10 PM
Oh great, written like a TRUE PIG!!! :mad:

It would take a lot of people to hold me back from shaking this dude "Bryce W. Brant" like a rag doll and slapping him across his face. What a worthless human being--again, if my husband ever said these things to me I would NEVER speak to him again right after kicking him in the balls! ;)

Er, you do realise The Onion is satirical, right?

Fezwick
Feb 24, 2006, 02:11 PM
That's excellent advice. Go an' get 'em. I have heaps of male friends who desperately want girls but they don't get out there enough. They don't talk to girls. It's like they expect the girls to just jump into their laps and beg for a date... Crazy kids.

Wait a minute... this tactic doesn't work?

Looks like I have to go out and be "social." ;)

floriflee
Feb 24, 2006, 02:12 PM
Oh great, written like a TRUE PIG!!! :mad:

It would take a lot of people to hold me back from shaking this dude "Bryce W. Brant" like a rag doll and slapping him across his face. What a worthless human being--again, if my husband ever said these things to me I would NEVER speak to him again right after kicking him in the balls! ;)

Yeah... what she said!! :mad:

*couldn't have said it better myself*

Satirical or not... I just like being mad about it. Maybe I should've posted this to the angry thread. :D

jsw
Feb 24, 2006, 02:17 PM
Yeah... what she said!! :mad:

*couldn't have said it better myself*

Satirical or not... I just like being mad about it. Maybe I should've posted this to the angry thread. :D
Geez, people - it's the Onion (http://www.theonion.com/content/index).

It's whole purpose is to be satirical and inflammatory. It's not intended to be taken seriously. Ever. Please, relax. It's like being angry at Mad Magazine. :rolleyes:

macartistkel
Feb 24, 2006, 02:21 PM
Yeah... what she said!! :mad:

*couldn't have said it better myself*

Satirical or not... I just like being mad about it. Maybe I should've posted this to the angry thread. :D

:D Thanks Floriflee! :) And I was thinking if he did mean it (because I seriously never felt the satire at any point during the article) his wife could take it to any divorce lawyer he would be destroyed!! ;)

And I am sure this man's mother is about ready to kill herself if she ever read it---I would not be able to live with myself if I raised a son that was such an a*sshole to women. Yes, this definitely should have been in the mad thread today!! :mad:

macartistkel
Feb 24, 2006, 02:22 PM
Geez, people - it's the Onion.

It's whole purpose is to be satirical and inflammatory. It's not intended to be taken seriously. Ever. Please, relax. It's like being angry at Mad Magazine.

maybe so BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF MEN WHO ACTUALLY THINK THIS WAY and don't act like you could not name a few. WE ALL COULD! :mad:

revenuee
Feb 24, 2006, 02:23 PM
Well, I have said I live in FifeÖ :p

Even though it's illegal? :p

Because you're never left alone?

illegal? what are you a teacher? and these are your students?

they're are 365 days in a year ... you've got the time

jsw
Feb 24, 2006, 02:26 PM
maybe so BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF MEN WHO ACTUALLY THINK THIS WAY and don't act like you could not name a few. WE ALL COULD! :mad:
These guys? (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28017) ;)

floriflee
Feb 24, 2006, 02:27 PM
Maybe because it's the Onion it should be implied, but sometimes it's just hard to feel the satire. Then again, perhaps readers of Swift's "A Modest Proposal" didn't feel the satire either. :rolleyes: :D

Ah, well... I was just looking for something to be mad about, and, I agree with macartistkel that there are plenty of people out there who actually think like that. I've seen plenty of Divorce Court during my lunch hour to know it to be so. :eek:

link92
Feb 24, 2006, 02:27 PM
illegal?
Under-age?

jsw
Feb 24, 2006, 02:29 PM
Maybe because it's the Onion it should be implied...Well... yes. That's it's whole purpose.

But sometimes those guys get their just rewards (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4748292.stm) (thanks to iGAV for the link).

floriflee
Feb 24, 2006, 02:33 PM
Well... yes. That's it's whole purpose.

But sometimes those guys get their just rewards (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4748292.stm) (thanks to iGAV for the link).

Well, maybe 20 years down the road he will think to himself "Well, if she'd been any other goat I may have loved just the same...." ;)

vniow
Feb 24, 2006, 02:37 PM
****, if this is going to happens to me down the line, I'm not getting into another closed relationship ever.

jsw
Feb 24, 2006, 02:39 PM
Well, maybe 20 years down the road he will think to himself "Well, if she'd been any other goat I may have loved just the same...." ;)
At least he knows she'll never turn into some cow.

** ducks **

floriflee
Feb 24, 2006, 02:55 PM
Yeah, but she still has to worry about him turning into a fat pig. :p

Such a one-sided relationship....:rolleyes:

Voidness
Feb 24, 2006, 04:13 PM
I understand how you feel. I feel the same way but in a completely different issue. I'm 19, and I feel that I could have done a lot in high school that would have made me feel a lot happier back then, but it wouldn't make a difference for my present state.

As for your advice, I have absolutely no past experience, neither do I expect any future experience in this issue (In other words, I've never had a girlfriend, and I really don't care.. and no, I'm not gay)

macartistkel
Feb 24, 2006, 06:17 PM
mpw, Well I just noticed that you are from "Jersey" in the UK :cool: I thought it was New Jersey in the US so the whole FANCY word was confusing me for most of this thread and it just didn't make any sense.:confused: I am assuming that term is used quite often to describe the word for had a "crush" on you!! :)

mpw
Feb 25, 2006, 02:58 AM
Haha...exactly.

Sorry, no girl in Jersey is going to say that she "fancied" you.

<snobbish English accent>
Perhaps, my dear mpw, if one could be bothered such to put down his most delectable tea, one my benefit of getting down from such a high horse. Indeed, the ground, as you will find, is much the merrier! Oh how agreeable it is! It will tickle your fancy most asuredly!
</snobbish English accent>
Then you don't know Jersey.
I'm not English, I don't drink tea and I wasn't trying to be on any high horse.

Mechcozmo
Feb 25, 2006, 03:27 AM
Why didnít they tell me/ask me out then? And even more annoying why did some of the ones I asked out then turn me down?

The point of this thread is to advise our younger members who are desperately trying to start relationships that, if you like someone TELL THEM. Whatís the worst that could happen?

I never understood why it was the guy's responsibility to ask the girls out.
If we're such an equal society, why do we still cling to these ideals? If a girl likes a guy enough to date him, she should ask him out. Replace girl with guy and guy with girl if you feel like it. We're all people.

The worst that could happen is that they don't feel the same towards you, and leave you with your bleeding heart. Or the word could end. Take your pick; there's plenty worst-case scenarios for everyone.

link92
Feb 25, 2006, 11:44 AM
mpw, Well I just noticed that you are from "Jersey" in the UK :cool: I thought it was New Jersey in the US so the whole FANCY word was confusing me for most of this thread and it just didn't make any sense.:confused: I am assuming that term is used quite often to describe the word for had a "crush" on you!! :)
Why does the US always think of places without the "New"?

You're talking about completely different places, ergh.

Zeeland and New Zealand are very close togetherÖ

jsw
Feb 25, 2006, 11:54 AM
Why does the US always think of places without the "New"?It's not just places. A decade ago I was irked by all the jokes about the Apple Ton. ;) Now, people here bash the bees that pop up after each Stevenote. And, of course, 'W' is always ranting about "clear" weapons.

whocares
Feb 25, 2006, 12:10 PM
I think that's good advice. Regrets suck, and the "never tried" regrets are enormously worse than the "it didn't work out" regrets. Except when it comes to parachuting, but that's a different story.

jsw's post in this thread are (as usually) cracking me up. :D :D


No advice/comment to mpw, but I can relate to what you're saying.

w_parietti22
Feb 25, 2006, 01:38 PM
I never understood why it was the guy's responsibility to ask the girls out.
If we're such an equal society, why do we still cling to these ideals? If a girl likes a guy enough to date him, she should ask him out. Replace girl with guy and guy with girl if you feel like it. We're all people.

The worst that could happen is that they don't feel the same towards you, and leave you with your bleeding heart. Or the word could end. Take your pick; there's plenty worst-case scenarios for everyone.

I agree. If your a girl and you like someone are you just going to waist your time waiting for him to ask you out? Or trying to make him like you? (That usually doesn't turn out well)

Mechcozmo
Feb 25, 2006, 06:35 PM
I agree. If your a girl and you like someone are you just going to waist your time waiting for him to ask you out? Or trying to make him like you? (That usually doesn't turn out well)

I normally try to ignore spelling/grammar issues... but I just couldn't let your post go. Sorry-- no offense to you or anything, but just had to bring it up.

your should be you're
waist should be waste
needs 'too' in between "out" and "well"

Thanks for agreeing with me, though. Too many people just give me this look when I tell them that: :confused:
People are people, and then you have men/women sub-sets of people. How's that for making it simpler, instead of "girl must wait for guy to ask her out". Take the damned initiative already! ;)

asherman13
Feb 25, 2006, 07:00 PM
Just to touch back to the original post for a minute...

As I'm turning 18 in a month, I figured I'd give my two cents. I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment that people should tell whomever they like about their feelings, (I might do just that with a girl I like in the next week or two...but that's another thread) especially since girls probably want guys to make the first move, if it's a move at all. Sometimes, just knowing that somebody thinks you're the best person in the world is enough to help you see the great side of them that you might not have seen before.

With regards to the drinking, I think that it's a bit of a bad idea to advise under-age people to drink, especially to start drinking, even a bit. MPW, if you had been drunk that night, your friend might've gotten a concussion or whatnot, then possibly slipped into a coma. You did the right thing, in my opinion, and maybe even saved her life. Some friends of mine who used to drink have had really, really bad experiences (as in commiting felonies and being arrested for them) and don't drink anymore. Obviously, that doesn't happen very often, but I still think that it's not ok to encourage under-age people to drink.

Mechcozmo
Feb 25, 2006, 07:25 PM
...especially since girls probably want guys to make the first move, if it's a move at all.
Why do the girls want the guys to make the first move? First move in what? What is defined as a 'move'?
I'm trying to figure out what you are saying in your post, as words are seen differently by different people.


With regards to the drinking, I think that it's a bit of a bad idea to advise under-age people to drink, especially to start drinking, even a bit. MPW, if you had been drunk that night, your friend might've gotten a concussion or whatnot, then possibly slipped into a coma. You did the right thing, in my opinion, and maybe even saved her life. Some friends of mine who used to drink have had really, really bad experiences (as in commiting felonies and being arrested for them) and don't drink anymore. Obviously, that doesn't happen very often, but I still think that it's not ok to encourage under-age people to drink.

I agree completely. You can throw your life away by doing something stupid. Drinking underage may have different ramifications in the U.K. vs. the U.S., but in the U.S. there can be pretty bad things happening to you if you drink underage.

aloofman
Feb 27, 2006, 10:31 AM
I never understood why it was the guy's responsibility to ask the girls out.
If we're such an equal society, why do we still cling to these ideals? If a girl likes a guy enough to date him, she should ask him out. Replace girl with guy and guy with girl if you feel like it. We're all people.

The worst that could happen is that they don't feel the same towards you, and leave you with your bleeding heart. Or the word could end. Take your pick; there's plenty worst-case scenarios for everyone.

Based on my observations (me and the guys I've dicussed it with; admittedly a small sample) I'd say at least 9 out of 10 dates occur because he asked her out. Granted, three or four of those were probably because she dropped hints on him that weighed slightly less than one of Bugs Bunny's anvils. But if a woman is depending on guys to understand subtleties, then she's really rolling dice.

revenuee
Feb 27, 2006, 03:13 PM
But if a woman is depending on guys to understand subtleties, then she's really rolling dice.

NO ... they are picking guys that are the cream of the crop ... guys who can pick up on it are usually the strongest ...

if you are relying on a girl to flat out tell you that she's interested, then you are the one that's rolling the dice ...

female intuition is only called so because women develop it more, men have it too, if you take the time to develop it, you will be amazed at the stuff you will see around you

_bnkr612
Feb 27, 2006, 03:32 PM
He IS talking about Macs.......mack'in chicks in high school.

Anyway, grow up man. I know I shouldn't say this after what I just said, but I'm not old like you.

Haha, good humor. Seriously though, this post is strange. I don't know if I am for or against it.

I have done well with the ladies so far, and I am two tens and four. I don't see myself married until I am 35. I want to live two lives, the single life and married with kids life.

I thank my stars for life I have been given. It treats me well.

adroit
Feb 27, 2006, 03:40 PM
I never understood why it was the guy's responsibility to ask the girls out.
If we're such an equal society, why do we still cling to these ideals? If a girl likes a guy enough to date him, she should ask him out. Replace girl with guy and guy with girl if you feel like it. We're all people.

The worst that could happen is that they don't feel the same towards you, and leave you with your bleeding heart. Or the word could end. Take your pick; there's plenty worst-case scenarios for everyone.

Because the world was never equal. :rolleyes:

Every guy I've ever date asked me out or at least make the move first. If the guy who likes me never made a move then he is obiously either too shy or doesn't have enough confidence so what's the point of dating him anyway?

Yes we're all people... but men and women will never be the same and should never be treat the same way.

adroit
Feb 27, 2006, 03:47 PM
I never understood why it was the guy's responsibility to ask the girls out.
If we're such an equal society, why do we still cling to these ideals? If a girl likes a guy enough to date him, she should ask him out. Replace girl with guy and guy with girl if you feel like it. We're all people.

The worst that could happen is that they don't feel the same towards you, and leave you with your bleeding heart. Or the word could end. Take your pick; there's plenty worst-case scenarios for everyone.

Because the world was never equal. :rolleyes:

Every guy I've ever date asked me out or at least make the move first. If the guy who likes me never made a move then he is obiously either too shy or doesn't have enough confidence so what's the point of dating him anyway?

Yes we're all people... but men and women will never be the same and should never be treat the same way.

Stella
Feb 27, 2006, 03:51 PM
How about stop whinning and think yourself lucky?

vniow
Feb 27, 2006, 03:52 PM
I never understood why it was the guy's responsibility to ask the girls out.


Dunno, I've usually been the more forward one, I like the idea of someone being interested in me enough to ask me out but I'm often too impatient. :D

Stella
Feb 27, 2006, 03:53 PM
Every guy I've ever date asked me out or at least make the move first. If the guy who likes me never made a move then he is obiously either too shy or doesn't have enough confidence so what's the point of dating him anyway?


That attitude is a bit harsh.

I'm sorry you like to judge a book by its cover rather than the contents.

Very shadow indeed.

aloofman
Feb 27, 2006, 04:06 PM
Every guy I've ever date asked me out or at least make the move first. If the guy who likes me never made a move then he is obiously either too shy or doesn't have enough confidence so what's the point of dating him anyway?



If guys thought that way too, then no one would ever get a date. That's a handy excuse for avoiding rejection, not a real rationale for picking a partner.

I for one like confidence in women, but I'm not foolish enough to keep waiting for a woman who's THAT confident. I guess what bothers me more is not that I have to do the asking, but that she would rather miss an opportunity than take charge of her own dating destiny.

aloofman
Feb 27, 2006, 04:09 PM
NO ... they are picking guys that are the cream of the crop ... guys who can pick up on it are usually the strongest ...

You're being facetious, right?


if you are relying on a girl to flat out tell you that she's interested, then you are the one that's rolling the dice ...


That's not rolling the dice, it's wasting your time.

aloofman
Feb 27, 2006, 04:09 PM
Very shadow indeed.


Could be worse. She could be shallow too!

Mechcozmo
Feb 27, 2006, 04:19 PM
Because the world was never equal. :rolleyes:

I'd disagree. The world was equal, and still is to a degree. It just depends on how you look at it.

I have amazing people skills. I can talk to people, become friendly with them, because I don't bother with the 'white/black, male/female, tall/short' ************ that most people do. It is a challenge, I admit, because it is something instilled in us from our birth. But it truly is doable.

You may think that men and women aren't equal. You are correct. Men and women are different. But they are both people, and all people are equal.

revenuee
Feb 27, 2006, 04:19 PM
You're being facetious, right?


not at all

like someone mentioned before ... shows confidence if you make approach.

blah, blah, blah, we can talk about equality all we want, but there are still basic male / female dynamics that have developed over millions of years in animal behavior ... all that has changed is how we show the opposite sex we are the strongest male.

i don't have the time to date every girl i might think is cute, she has to have something that hits me right away

women are exactly the same <-- ladies? tell me i'm wrong.

all i know is ---- the world is not fair and equal, and that's a good thing. it means that the rest of the losers are around me are pissing and wining about being alone and leaving me with an abundance of available women.

vniow
Feb 27, 2006, 04:31 PM
all i know is ---- the world is not fair and equal, and that's a good thing. it means that the rest of the losers are around me are pissing and wining about being alone and leaving me with an abundance of available women.

You sound like you would get along famously with my ex-girlfriend. :rolleyes:

cr2sh
Feb 27, 2006, 04:37 PM
That attitude is a bit harsh.

I'm sorry you like to judge a book by its cover rather than the contents.

Very shadow indeed.

I don't think she's being harsh.. and I don't think she's judging a book by its cover.

If a guy doesn't have the guts or the confidence to talk or ask out a girl... that has nothing to do with outside appearances... it shows a lack of character, confidence, personal comfort with your own identity... that stuff is all on the inside.

If he had the guts to do what he wants.. then maybe he'd be worth dating.

Transic
Feb 27, 2006, 04:46 PM
*

aloofman
Feb 27, 2006, 04:51 PM
I don't think she's being harsh.. and I don't think she's judging a book by its cover.

If a guy doesn't have the guts or the confidence to talk or ask out a girl... that has nothing to do with outside appearances... it shows a lack of character, confidence, personal comfort with your own identity... that stuff is all on the inside.

If he had the guts to do what he wants.. then maybe he'd be worth dating.

OK, but if a woman doesn't have the guts to ask a man out, then does she show a similar lack of character? A guy who wants a woman with that kind of guts is pretty much SOL.

I'm not unrealistic about this. I just wonder why people adhere to these outdated -- and somewhat arbitrary -- standards. I see so many women who sit around and pine for some guy instead of taking the initiative, and wonder why they put themselves through that.

aloofman
Feb 27, 2006, 04:54 PM
it means that the rest of the losers are around me are pissing and wining about being alone and leaving me with an abundance of available women.

I should hang out with you. Since we're interested in the opposite kind of women, we would be showing each other which women not to hit on.

davefan6435
Feb 27, 2006, 04:55 PM
But because she was drunk she didnít have a problem with then going off with three of my drunk friends and [edited out of family forum]. Needless to say she had a hard time combing her hair the next morning.

I definitly know some people like that, it bugs the crap out of me. It's always the nice guys that get screwed over in high school and all the jerkoffs get the girls.

cr2sh
Feb 27, 2006, 04:57 PM
OK, but if a woman doesn't have the guts to ask a man out, then does she show a similar lack of character?

Yes... absolutely. She sucks too.

There is no double standard here... its a flaw no matter the gender in which is resides.

My point is, contrary to THE previous statement, it has nothing to do with judging a book by its cover or being shallow... I think someone was rather rude to someoneelse and it was uncalled for.

aloofman
Feb 27, 2006, 05:04 PM
My point is, contrary to your previous statement, it has nothing to do with judging a book by its cover or being shallow... I think you were rather rude to her and it was uncalled for.

That was Stella's statement, not mine. Although I did poke fun at the typo.

cr2sh
Feb 27, 2006, 05:06 PM
That was Stella's statement, not mine. Although I did poke fun at the typo.

:p

Whatever... I'm late to this conversation, I can't be expected to sort out the who's who!

:)

(edits post)

Mechcozmo
Feb 27, 2006, 05:09 PM
all i know is ---- the world is not fair and equal, and that's a good thing. it means that the rest of the losers are around me are pissing and wining about being alone and leaving me with an abundance of available women.

That's why we have people who Think Different.

Dagless
Feb 27, 2006, 05:18 PM
I have a similar story but its a little more compressed.
During Year 8-9 I started to get interested in girls. Only I thought none of them liked me. Then I'm Year 11 and I find out that a few girls who used to try and spread rumours, anything to get me into trouble really used to fancy me back then! I was a little amazed.
I always thought the girls were unapproachable. Turns out they didn't want to approach me as I was so confident and that! Nevermind. I left school only having 1 real girlfriend but she changed my life for the better so I'm very grateful for that.
Left school, first day met Caroline (girl of my dreams, literally! but thats another story) and we've been going out for 4 years this November.

vniow
Feb 27, 2006, 05:30 PM
That's why we have people who Think Different.

No wonder I'm so picky. :o

revenuee
Feb 27, 2006, 11:02 PM
You sound like you would get along famously with my ex-girlfriend. :rolleyes:

probably, i get along with almost all women. I adore them. Some disagree with me, some think i'm a pompous ass and arrogant. Others think i'm enlightened, charming, fun.

But they all agree on one thing, I AM REAL. i don't lie, i don't use cheap tricks to get into women's pants, I live my life the way i like, and they either come for the ride or they don't, some like it and remain in my life, others don't.

in my world there is no such thing as the double standard. i don't care how many people a girl has slept with, that's irrellevent to me.

TO THE GUYS, talking about girls asking them out. Having a girl ask you out is completely something to do with you,

Are you approachable?
Are you fun to be around?
Do you radiate warmth?

"picking up" someone is all about the mating dance.

i know we talk about love, and relationships; but in the end the whole idea of being with someone is sex, well the result of sex.

Yes, sex is fun, it feels great ... but it's purpose is for the result to be an offspring. THAT'S attraction.

you can't fight instinct, that's something you've been born with. sure we have social conditioning --- but in the end instinct wins.

why do great girls date jerks? cause they have strong traits and strong qualities that are desirable to be passed on.

guys get asked out all the time ... tonight i went out with a girl for coffee that asked me out.

this happens, happens to me, happens to my friends.

my experience in dating is only hetero, homosexual dating is foreign to me so if you are gay and disagree with me, remember, i'm talking hetero.

Women expect a men to be a men; strong, they need to feel like you will go after what you want, and you will succeed so that you can provide.

equality just means that we need to respect each other ...

equal pay? sure
equal job oppertunites? sure
equal basic human rights? sure

BUT we are not the same, the reason we need to respect each other is because we are different, and we need to feed off of each other, we need each other to compliment the strengths and weaknesses.

guys, stop hiding behind your walls of equality and go out and stop being afraid to be a man.

sushi
Feb 28, 2006, 05:23 AM
Every guy I've ever date asked me out or at least make the move first. If the guy who likes me never made a move then he is obiously either too shy or doesn't have enough confidence so what's the point of dating him anyway?
What's the point in dating him?

Well, if you were to check the background of successful folks you might find out that many were shy in their younger years. A diamond in the rough so to speak. You just need to know how to find them.

takao
Feb 28, 2006, 05:38 AM
probably, i get along with almost all women. I adore them. Some disagree with me, some think i'm a pompous ass and arrogant. Others think i'm enlightened, charming, fun.

well i think that's true for most men ;)

But they all agree on one thing, I AM REAL. i don't lie, i don't use cheap tricks to get into women's pants, I live my life the way i like, and they either come for the ride or they don't, some like it and remain in my life, others don't.

well then you can consider yourself lucky ... from the people i know there was always some element involved into tricking the girl into finding the guy 'more' interesting in the beginning ... some more, some less


TO THE GUYS, talking about girls asking them out. Having a girl ask you out is completely something to do with you,

Are you approachable?
Are you fun to be around?
Do you radiate warmth?

"picking up" someone is all about the mating dance.

now i know why i'm not succesfull .. i don't like dancing ;)
i agree though even when i'm not so sure about the last one (how do you radiate warmth ? )

i know we talk about love, and relationships; but in the end the whole idea of being with someone is sex, well the result of sex.

Yes, sex is fun, it feels great ... but it's purpose is for the result to be an offspring. THAT'S attraction.

you can't fight instinct, that's something you've been born with. sure we have social conditioning --- but in the end instinct wins.

why do great girls date jerks? cause they have strong traits and strong qualities that are desirable to be passed on.

while i'm not sure about instinct i would say "true" here as well.. humans have some instincts but they are far from being strong and varying from person to person ...

guys get asked out all the time ... tonight i went out with a girl for coffee that asked me out.

this happens, happens to me, happens to my friends.

"all the time" is perhaps the exaggeration of the week ... if true then online single things (how is that called in english ? the german term "bŲrse" would be translated to "stock market" :p ) wouldn't be overfilled with men


i agree with the rest as well
personally i'm 22 and still have no ****** idea what i want in a girl ... and with asking girls out felt like throwing a 1000 sided dice so far (with 999 no and 1 yes) i stopped caring if i have a relationship or not
i'm happy that the valley of desperation was rather short for me

so now i'm off i have a lot things planned for today and i already wasted enough time reading this thread ;)

Abstract
Feb 28, 2006, 06:00 AM
That attitude is a bit harsh.

I'm sorry you like to judge a book by its cover rather than the contents.

Very shadow indeed.

I don't think adroit is shallow at all when she says that. Being confident is a part of the contents.

Girls and boys are different. All this talk about "equality"........that "equality" is talking about your rights. Men and women are different. Accept the fact that this is true, and you'll be better off. People who complain about why girls don't do certain things even when things are supposed to be equal are wasting their time arguing about it. There's nothing to understand. It's just natural for girls to (generally) go after guys who have the balls and work up the courage to ask them out and possibly handle rejection. Men who wait for women to work up the courage to ask THEM out are not playing the odds at all.

Don't listen to people who say things like "Girls should ask guys out" for advice. They're the ones who end up single at 45.

Les Kern
Feb 28, 2006, 06:02 AM
Ah, so you are having second thoughts.

Our experiences define who we are. The path that you take defines where you end up. If you go back and take a different fork in the road, then you would have ended up differently.

Don't second guess yourself. We all do it occasionally. But don't.

But it's human nature... with a caviat.
I'm also in my late 20's (so late they begin with a damn FIVE) and it's been my experience that if one thinks about the past and how things "could have been different", means that the PRESENT is where this person is unhappy. Book it.
It's not even a matter of degrees. What I'm saying is that the casual thought about "whatever happened to Mary" is okay, but anything that attempts to re-write a possible history is not only futile but unhealthy. I totally agree that we are made up as a sum of our experiences.
I'd change nothing.

whooleytoo
Feb 28, 2006, 06:09 AM
I keep meeting girls I knew from school, college etc. when I was in my teens and early 20ís and get talking about the past etc. only to have them come out with stuff like ďOh I really fancied you back thenĒ.

It pisses me off Ďcause I know how unhappy I was at that age with being single, although when I say this everyone who knew me says I was, am and always have been outwardly very happy.


:p

Great story! You could be me! (Except.. it's not a "lot" of girls, just a few... and it's not me that's married, it's the girl who's telling me she used to fancy me...)

Great advice at the end though.

whooleytoo
Feb 28, 2006, 06:19 AM
I don't think adroit is shallow at all when she says that. Being confident is a part of the contents.

True, but suggesting someone who isn't confident isn't worth dating is superficial. Not superficial in terms of physical appearance, but in terms of judging a person by a superficial observation of their personality. You cannot know a person based solely on whether they are talkative or shy in that particular situation.

revenuee
Feb 28, 2006, 10:42 AM
well i think that's true for most men ;)



well then you can consider yourself lucky ... from the people i know there was always some element involved into tricking the girl into finding the guy 'more' interesting in the beginning ... some more, some less


i have a friend that talks about tricks all the time. I just don't see the point. If you want to seem more interesting, then there is an easy way of doing it ... LIVE A MORE INTERESTING LIFE. Go out and DO the things that you see a person that you think is interesting do.



now i know why i'm not succesfull .. i don't like dancing ;)
i agree though even when i'm not so sure about the last one (how do you radiate warmth ? )


warmth in your personality ... are you rigid? relaxed? are you happy? do you smile? -- these are all warm qualities ... and things women pick up on.



while i'm not sure about instinct i would say "true" here as well.. humans have some instincts but they are far from being strong and varying from person to person ...



People ignore instinct, they feel like they are ABOVE nature. why?


"all the time" is perhaps the exaggeration of the week ... if true then online single things (how is that called in english ? the german term "bŲrse" would be translated to "stock market" :p ) wouldn't be overfilled with men


it happens all the time if you are someone people want to be around. If your fun people, not just women, will want to hang out with you.

i agree with the rest as well
personally i'm 22 and still have no ****** idea what i want in a girl ... and with asking girls out felt like throwing a 1000 sided dice so far (with 999 no and 1 yes) i stopped caring if i have a relationship or not
i'm happy that the valley of desperation was rather short for me

so now i'm off i have a lot things planned for today and i already wasted enough time reading this thread ;)

It's important what you want and what you don't want, then you can pick those things, and if someone doesn't have them, you just disqualify them.

In my experience i've found that only 1 / 10 girls are girls that i can pursue anything long term. It's okay to be picky, you don't want to settle.

floriflee
Feb 28, 2006, 11:02 AM
Girls and boys are different. All this talk about "equality"........that "equality" is talking about your rights. Men and women are different. Accept the fact that this is true, and you'll be better off. People who complain about why girls don't do certain things even when things are supposed to be equal are wasting their time arguing about it.

I think all this talk of equality between men and women could be summed up with the Hebrew term "ezer kenegdo." In a sense, equal, but different. A good description of the term is found here (http://www.e-geress.org/147.htm), and I think it sums up a lot. :)

aloofman
Feb 28, 2006, 11:17 AM
In my experience i've found that only 1 / 10 girls are girls that i can pursue anything long term. It's okay to be picky, you don't want to settle.

Now this I can agree on. So many people want something or someone to blame when a relationship doesn't work or two people don't click on the first date. "What did I do wrong?" or whatever. You don't do anything wrong. Most of the time people just aren't compatible.

The worst is one people decide they haven't been on a date in a long time and settle instead. Dating for the sake of dating is just about the dumbest thing in the world.

revenuee
Feb 28, 2006, 02:52 PM
Dating for the sake of dating is just about the dumbest thing in the world.


well, i'm a serial dater --- i go out with lots of girls, regularly with no intent of pursuing a relationship, i just like people ... if we click GREAT, if we don't i just made a new friend.

aloofman
Feb 28, 2006, 03:23 PM
well, i'm a serial dater --- i go out with lots of girls, regularly with no intent of pursuing a relationship, i just like people ... if we click GREAT, if we don't i just made a new friend.

I like making new friends, but honestly, I barely meet enough date-worthy women as it is. In order to date significantly more, I'd have to lower my standards. And each time I've done that was a waste of time. That's what I mean by "dating for the sake of dating."

pianodude123
Feb 28, 2006, 03:28 PM
17years old and all the hot girls fancy me.:mad: So why am I mad?

Because Iím in my late 20ís(very late 20ís, so late they begin with a 3) and Iím married with kids.

I keep meeting girls I knew from school, college etc. when I was in my teens and early 20ís and get talking about the past etc. only to have them come out with stuff like ďOh I really fancied you back thenĒ.

It pisses me off Ďcause I know how unhappy I was at that age with being single, although when I say this everyone who knew me says I was, am and always have been outwardly very happy.

In the last couple of years Iíve spoken with, or my friends have and relayed the stories to me, at least 7 old friends who wanted to be more than just friends.

Yesterday it was a girl, who I fancied back then too, who went out with my friend so she could spend time with me. Of course I never made the move she was waiting for because she was with my friend. After a few weeks she dumped him but I still didn't make any move 'cause that would've hurt my friend at the time.

Why didnít they tell me/ask me out then? And even more annoying why did some of the ones I asked out then turn me down?

Apparently it would seem my friends got all the action Ďcause they drank while I didnít and that meant that they could blame any embarrassing encounters on the booze the next day when things didnít work out.

[/rant]

The point of this thread is to advise our younger members who are desperately trying to start relationships that, if you like someone TELL THEM. Whatís the worst that could happen?

You might want to consider drinking within reason too, the hot chicks love it!

...grass is always greener...

revenuee
Feb 28, 2006, 08:36 PM
I like making new friends, but honestly, I barely meet enough date-worthy women as it is. In order to date significantly more, I'd have to lower my standards. And each time I've done that was a waste of time. That's what I mean by "dating for the sake of dating."

I also date a lot because most girls don't like that i'm really busy IF i'm in a relationship it ends because i'm "TOO BUSY"

there are lots of datable women around ... you just have to open your eyes ... or start going out to places were they are ... UNLESS you live in the middle of no where ... i meet women everywhere ... class, bus, parking lots, grocery stores, banks, on the street ... whatever

Mechcozmo
Mar 1, 2006, 09:17 AM
"picking up" someone is all about the mating dance.
<snip>
BUT we are not the same, the reason we need to respect each other is because we are different, and we need to feed off of each other, we need each other to compliment the strengths and weaknesses.

On the first thing-- that depends. From different psychologist perspectives, it is true, and from others, blatantly false. From an evolutionary perspective (we are the way we are because of our evolution), you are 100% correct. From a pure biology view, less correct. From a Gestalt-style perspective (we need to feel complete/whole), false because it isn't about the mating or the sex, it is about the person's personality traits that appeal most to you rather than their physical ones.

Psychology, you'd think, might make it easier to understand people. :rolleyes: Nuts to that!

You last bit is very true: "We need to respect each other... because we are different." That is true; if we choose to accept that we are 'different'. Of course, to be different, you have to have a state of normal to compare it to.
What is normal, then, if we are so different?

mpw
Mar 1, 2006, 09:26 AM
...Of course, to be different, you have to have a state of normal to compare it to...
Not really if you had a blue orange and a purple orange they'd both obviously different from each other of course both the blue orange and the purple orange would also be different to an orange orange which most people would consider normal. But then if you came from a place that predomintantly had blue oranges occasionally purple oranges but never, or rarely, orange oranges you'd think that blue oranges were normal and orange oranges were not normal, you would still of course accept that orange oranges and blue oranges and purple oranges were different regardless of your point of view of normal. Normal is just a point of view.

aloofman
Mar 1, 2006, 10:18 AM
there are lots of datable women around ... you just have to open your eyes ... or start going out to places were they are ... UNLESS you live in the middle of no where ... i meet women everywhere ... class, bus, parking lots, grocery stores, banks, on the street ... whatever

It isn't a matter of opening my eyes. I'm just picky.

revenuee
Mar 1, 2006, 01:27 PM
On the first thing-- that depends. From different psychologist perspectives, it is true, and from others, blatantly false. From an evolutionary perspective (we are the way we are because of our evolution), you are 100% correct. From a pure biology view, less correct. From a Gestalt-style perspective (we need to feel complete/whole), false because it isn't about the mating or the sex, it is about the person's personality traits that appeal most to you rather than their physical ones.

Psychology, you'd think, might make it easier to understand people. :rolleyes: Nuts to that!

You last bit is very true: "We need to respect each other... because we are different." That is true; if we choose to accept that we are 'different'. Of course, to be different, you have to have a state of normal to compare it to.
What is normal, then, if we are so different?

i in fact know exactly what you are talking about ... i chose the evolutionary perspective ... that is my reality and those that don't agree with it are not wrong, just think differently then i do ... that's cool

i don't think we need a definition of normal ... we just need to find people that balance. The Ying and Yang, masculine and feminine --- my friends, and co-workers always tell me that there is never any question over my masculinty --- i often am attracted and look for those traits in dates that are very feminine <-- the friction that arises between myself and my partners creates a passion that few people every experience ... that is why i love women so much ... that passion.


Aloofman --- in regards to being picky .... what are you looking for in someone?

cr2sh
Mar 1, 2006, 01:58 PM
--- my friends, and co-workers always tell me that there is never any question over my masculinty ---

the friction that arises between myself and my partners creates a passion that few people every experience ... that is why i love women so much ... that passion.

I was just wondering... why is exactly that you and your friends/coworkers are always questioning your masculinity?

And this passion that you experience that few ever experience... do your lovers experience it too? If so... why don't they stick around?

Ricky Smith
Mar 1, 2006, 04:03 PM
Hmm well I'm not going to read all three pages right now... However in response to the origional post. I'm in high school right now and my girlfriend seems to insist that EVERY girl likes me.... Just because when I came to the school for the first time in two years. "I went to a voke tech for 2 years and shadowed my current girlfriend at the end of last year to see what it was like" So when I went to shadow pretty much every girl I knew and even ones I didn't know were screaming my name and were amazed to see me and a group of them came and pulled me out of the gym cause I had to see everyone else "this was a all girls gym class" and I had to meet there teacher. Since then when I've transfered over to the school people still continued to always say hi to me and were happy to see me and everything and then I just subcriped to myspace a few weeks ago just to see what it was like and the friends requests from girls started to come in :-P,,, How ever I wont say anything to any of the girls because I'm set on beliving no girls will want to date me "asside from the one I'm currently dating" Just because every damn girl in the school pretty much talks to me and is amazed to see me doesn't mean they like me!! :p

freeny
Mar 1, 2006, 04:16 PM
WOW!

Is this thread still going on?:eek:

MarkCollette
Mar 1, 2006, 04:34 PM
Now she says she spurned my romantic advances that night because she knew I was sober and didnít want to appear a slut to a sober guy. I kind of get what she means when she says that.

But because she was drunk she didnít have a problem with then going off with three of my drunk friends and [edited out of family forum]. Needless to say she had a hard time combing her hair the next morning.

I know it's exciting to do porno style escapades, but I'd prefer a girl who made me feel special. And running off with three of my friends wouldn't exactly accomplish that.

So, I concur with some other people in saying, that you probably didn't miss much from that specific event.

Mechcozmo
Mar 1, 2006, 07:17 PM
Not really if you had a blue orange and a purple orange...<snip>... Normal is just a point of view.

They are both oranges. Normal is just a point of view, but one we tend to cling to far too often for our own good.
We all could just be the hallucinations of a psychologically deranged person. They are cured, they die, our world ends, and we wouldn't ever know it because we never existed anyway. That is not a normal view of our world. But it might as well be, because it is as valid as anything.

revenuee
Mar 1, 2006, 08:37 PM
I was just wondering... why is exactly that you and your friends/coworkers are always questioning your masculinity?

And this passion that you experience that few ever experience... do your lovers experience it too? If so... why don't they stick around?

my actions are always met with "you're such a guy, no question about that" ... LOL

that has to do with my inability to commit --- they tend to want more attention then i can give and they get frustrated.