Don't Piss My Daddy Off. -_-

[Hummer]

Well, I made my dad mad (long story, stupid issue) and he takes my iBook away.

I found it once and let my sister use it hoping she would keep it in a spot that I would know where it was to know it would be safe. She rats me out that I found it and let her use it:mad:.

So this morning I'm "sleep" and I hear my dad going to take it from the spot that my sister put it because she tells him where it's at. He hides it somewhere else.

I'm wondering if it is possible for me to find it with my Linksys WiFi router. Even if it could just show that it's in the house or within the area of the router. Or. Even though it's sleep, is there anyway I can get it to make noise or something.
Just ANYTHING so I can know it's in the house.

Right now I'm running my tower which is running ubuntu and compared to OS X, ubuntu sucks ass times 26544767654.

[2nyRiggz]

So you made your pops mad and he took away your ibook now you want to find it just to make sure its in the house....correct?

Don't worry I think he placed it in a safe place.....serves you right for doing what you did:) ..don't piss off the popz


Bless

[jsw]

The iBook is sleeping or, more likely, off. Nothing you can do to locate it.

It might be more worth your time to resolve the issue with your father instead of annoying him even more by trying to find it.

[stonyc]

We've all done stupid things and been punished for them... sometimes we (at least thought) haven't done anything to deserve punishment and still were. But if you deserved such a punishment, just accept it... trying to circumvent your punishment and dragging your sister in to it all only makes it worse. Instead of trying to find your iBook, just ask your dad if it is in the house, then leave it at that.

[Queso]

Rather than all that, why not put your energies into talking to your Dad? Maybe you think challenging him to a cleverness contest is a good idea, but he holds all the cards. Whatever you did, think why he's upset, then once you realise go and apologise sincerely. That way he'll give it back.

[Sun Baked]

And people wonder why the parents go to Mexico and try to sell their kids. :p

[XNine]

What happened to the days of taking a belt to your child when their being little bastards? Seriously.

[yg17]

kids :rolleyes:

[Hummer]

I've been punished before for things I know I should be punished for and I accepted the punishment. I also talked to my dad about the terms of my punishment after the arguement in a respectful manner.

This time though he has just gone to far over nothing and I refuse to talk to him in a respectful manner (or at all in this matter) because of a couple of things he said.


Don't worry I think he placed it in a safe place.....serves you right for doing what you did:) ..don't piss off the popz


If you heard the story, you would say "you must have done more than that to have made him get that pissed off at you." And then I would say "nope, that's it."

I live in a medium sized home. If I can't find it after going through every cavity in this house, I have reason to believe he's hiding it somewhere outside the house, or that he took it with him to work.

[Queso]

Hummer, there's a general consensus here that you don't have a leg to stand on. Now take your punishment. It's not like he's eBayed the 'Book. You'll get it back when he feels you're sufficiently sorry.

[Chundles]

What happened to the days of taking a belt to your child when their being little bastards? Seriously.

Amen to that. Kids are soft now, time to toughen them up again.

[technicolor]

What happened to the days of taking a belt to your child when their being little bastards? Seriously.
They didnt have ibooks to take away back then...

[2nyRiggz]

If you heard the story, you would say "you must have done more than that to have made him get that pissed off at you." And then I would say "nope, that's it."

I live in a medium sized home. If I can't find it after going through every cavity in this house, I have reason to believe he's hiding it somewhere outside the house, or that he took it with him to work.

I'm sure he has it safe.....lucky you didn't get the belt or a shoe....you'll get it back when he thinks you learned your lesson.

Broom is a good arse whooping tool

Bless

[zap2]

What happened to the days of taking a belt to your child when their being little bastards? Seriously.
:eek: :eek: :eek:

[jsw]

Amen to that. Kids are soft now, time to toughen them up again.
Actually, they're harder to chew when they're too tough. Tender is best.

Anyway, Hummer, if you do find it and he finds out that you found it, you're likely to lose it forever. Keep that in mind.

[technicolor]

I'm sure he has it safe.....lucky you didn't get the belt or a shoe....you'll get it back when he thinks you learned your lesson.

Broom is a good arse whooping tool

Bless

I love how you talk about spanking tools then say Bless.

Hilarious
:D

[2nyRiggz]

I love how you talk about spanking tools then say Bless.

Hilarious
:D

At home they do call it a Blessing when you get a beating:D ...

Spanking tools......he he


Bless

[7on]

I'm sure he has it safe.....lucky you didn't get the belt or a shoe....you'll get it back when he thinks you learned your lesson.

Broom is a good arse whooping tool

Bless

my mother used fly swatters and ping pong paddles - which ever was closer.

[MongoTheGeek]

Speaking as a step-parent of a teenager. (Harder job by an order of magnitude, cause I can't hit unless I am bleeding or have a broken bone) You may not have deserved the initial punishment of having your iBook taken away, then again you might have. Don't know the infraction but loss of one of the many computers strikes me as a minor punishment and the iBook is the convenient one to take. You definitely deserved to loose it after sneaking it back. Its like if you go to jail for a crime you didn't do, then kill someone inside they just let you out because you didn't steal the candy bar that got you there in the first place.

You are lucky he hasn't ebay'ed or something. There are precedents. Stories like that also tend to boost the value of the goods.

[MongoTheGeek]

At home they do call it a Blessing when you get a beating:D ...

Spanking tools......he he


Bless

I know a virtual place where Irish Coffee is referred to "God's Blessings." And people say "Bless me father for I have thirst."

:)

/thank you sir, may I please have another.

[XNine]

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Don't you :eek: me! I'm serious. If children learned to fear and respect their elders, we wouldn't have so many kids running around shooting people, stealing, and just in general being nothing but little tyrants.

Did I have an ibook when I was a kid? Hell no, I was lucky if I had the current generation gaming console. And if my father took it away, and I tried to find it, I'd get the crap kicked outta me.

FEAR. RESPECT. every child should know those two things. And live by them.

anyway... I'm hungry....

[Sun Baked]

I live in a medium sized home. If I can't find it after going through every cavity in this house, I have reason to believe he's hiding it somewhere outside the house, or that he took it with him to work.Usually a cavity search is a bit more personal and includes a rubber glove and a little lubricant if you are lucky. :o

[Hummer]

I'm sure he has it safe.....lucky you didn't get the belt or a shoe....you'll get it back when he thinks you learned your lesson.

Broom is a good arse whooping tool

Bless

It would be best if I just told the story.

He wakes me up an hour before he's about to drop my sister off for tennis lessons.
I already know I have to pick her up, but my dad wants me to go with him to drop her off and he wants me to wait there through her lesson in the heat for her to finish. Now he's going to be there until a half hour before her lesson ends which is technically the time I must be there to watch her and then take her home. I don't have to be there 'til he has to leave to go to work from the tennis. \

He wakes me up an hour before he's about to leave. He tells me to get ready. I wake up and I sit there in a daze. He calls my name and tells me to hurry up.
I then tell him that there is no way I'll make it in time to come with him in the car and that he should just go drop her off instead of waiting for me to get ready and I'll be there to pick her up because the park where her lessons are is only a couple blocks away. So I start putting my clothes that I'm going to wear out on the bed quietly. And he runs into the room screaming that he's told me enough times to hurry up and get ready and that he's had enough. That's when he picks up my computer chair and acts like he's going to throw it at me and he throws it down and takes my iBook while saying "why should I ask you to do anything for me. Don't do anything for me anymore!!" and he hides the iBook. Now basically anything he wants me to do for him I do no questions asked. He really made no sense saying that. I took it literally as he doesn't want me to bring her home anymore after the lessons so I layed back down going to sleep. He comes back and he says you have one minute to get in that shower and get ready or next week you're grounded. I tell him that I told him to go and I'll be there before he has to leave to accompany her for her lessons. I also tell him I took his statement "don't do anything for me" literally. Then he makes this remark like oh boy he's using big words now and I'm just like... So he goes you have one minute to get ready or I'm getting the belt. It's like an half an hour before he has to leave and it takes me a half hour to shower and brush my teeth alone. I still have to iron my clothing and wash the gel out of my hair. I tell him again that I'll be there, but he goes "you don't know time, I can't have you doing that." And then he goes "so one minute and I'm getting the belt". At this moment I'm really pissed and I tell him he can go ahead and get the belt (I can take a beating). That's really all I want to say after that. A couple more statements he makes is where he goes way overboard and it's why I refuse to "talk out" the problem with him. I did get the belt, but it was like nothing to me so I will disregard that.

To make the ending shorter. I did pick up my sister and I did it the way I suggested because my mom butted in. And my way didn't involve me sitting in the heat for two hours.

[Chundles]

anyway... I'm hungry....

Lets get a taco...

[MongoTheGeek]

There is definitely something else going on and perhaps you are being punished for something else but in a way its justified.

I also have to wonder about how long it takes you to get up in the morning. I understand the importance of personal grooming but...

[TEG]

I'm sure he has it safe.....lucky you didn't get the belt or a shoe....you'll get it back when he thinks you learned your lesson.

Broom is a good arse whooping tool

Bless

Until I was 13 it was a Rice Paddle. Then standing in a corner. Little kids don't understand time out, the only way to get it through their heads that they were bad is physical punishment.

BTW, you're 15, What could you have done to deserve your laptop being taken away? Better question, Why for the grace of the master of the universe do you have a laptop?

Great, now I have to write a Blog entry about dicipline.

TEG

[2nyRiggz]

Lets get a taco...

I'm also feeling a taco......but yea MongoTheGeek got it right there...seems a little bit more rooted than this one incident.


Bless

[plinden]

Then standing in a corner. Little kids don't understand time out, the only way to get it through their heads that they were bad is physical punishment.
My four year old understands timeouts very well, especially after we realised she took it a lot harder when we took her bear away from her for the duration of the timeout. In fact, she hasn't had to have a timeout since we did that ... she gets very obedient when we threaten "a timeout without bear".

[Hummer]

BTW, you're 15, What could you have done to deserve your laptop being taken away? Better question, Why for the grace of the master of the universe do you have a laptop?


Read the story.

I thought it was a better investment than a mac mini. I wanted to switch and I wanted something portable. What sold me was the fact that I could put it into dual screen mode.

[technicolor]

Until I was 13 it was a Rice Paddle. Little kids don't understand time out, the only way to get it through their heads that they were bad is physical punishment.

This is sooo not true. I am not necessairly against physical punishment, but every child is different. Many children can be reasoned with and spoken to. As well as many understand consequences like taking away favorite things. I see spankings as last resorts really, and I see many parents result to physical punishment immediately because they are uncreative to come up with better solutions and/or lack communication skils to control their child. Children are people too and dont necssairly deserve to just get beat on because they lack understanding of their actions, that's why they are a child and not an adult in the first place.

[CoMpX]

<snip>

Better question, Why for the grace of the master of the universe do you have a laptop?

<snip>

TEG

Are you saying 15 year olds can't have laptops?


To the OP, my dad would have reacted the same way. I have been lucky because they have been VERY lenient lately. First, I snuck out to my friends house (female), and my dad found out. My punishment? He gave me a curfew of 11pm.

Two days later, I broke that curfew and came home at 12:30. (BIG mistake) Punishment? Grounded for a week. If I was my kid, I would have just whooped my as. Ususally, my parents are not that forgiving so I consider myself lucky.

[Queso]

So your Dad wanted you to watch over your sister rather than lying in bed, which is fair enough. Maybe he thought he might be late picking her up and wanted to make sure she wasn't waiting around on her own. Fair enough again. Then you backchatted him, and deliberately went on a go-slow to piss him off. You explain in your post that your Dad is highly strung, yet you antagonised him. It sounds like he's someone who is highly stressed to me and the last thing he needs is you giving him lip rather than doing something to ease one aspect of his worries.

Sorry bud, but if you're doing that teenage rebellion against hierarchy thing, expect him to reassert the traditional order and keep you in your place. Leave the iBook where it is until he offers it back to you, and next time he asks you to get out of bed, show willing and do it.

[Kardashian]

FEAR. RESPECT. every child should know those two things. And live by them.

I'm not going to start with you, but as someone who's had a little more than a 'belt whipping' - fear is NOT the way to run a home, or a family.

Children, as badly behaved as they can be, are still human beings. They still process things (on some level) - even if it doesn't show.

I think you should ask yourself WHY these 'tyrants' act the way they do.

You will also find children who have experienced violence and/or fear in the home also go on to pass these traits onto their own children, or if they don't have children - still carry the anger/hate/violence as adults - more often than so, ending them up prison.

I agree with you that in some respects, parents are too 'soft' on their children. But fear? You would actually want to make your child afraid of you? You think thats how to run a home?

You have no idea how much that comment angers me!

One minute we are being told to talk about sex, drugs, bullying etc with our parents - with openness and trust, then you come along and say we're meant to fear you?

Get a grip, for heavens sake.

Fear does not equal respect. Fear equals fear. Which over the years will multiply, and if you can go to bed at night satisfied that your own child is afraid of you, and by using bullying tactics your being a good parent.. my God do you have a lot to learn.

If you as a parent, disspapoint your child, or do something wrong (against the unwritten rules of 'being a parent') - then let them smack you. With a belt, whatever. Let them make you fear them.

When they grow older, or even when their 10/11 years of age, and someone in school says a comment about them, or steals something their playing with, and your child hits that other child? or worse? Your gonna be proud?

You should be. You've raised them a bully.

[celebrian23]

This is sooo not true. I am not necessairly against physical punishment, but every child is different. Many children can be reasoned with and spoken to. As well as many understand consequences like taking away favorite things. I see spankings as last resorts really, and I see many parents result to physical punishment immediately because they are uncreative to come up with better solutions and/or lack communication skils to control their child. Children are people too and dont necssairly deserve to just get beat on because they lack understanding of their actions, that's why they are a child and not an adult in the first place.

I agree different folks different strokes. My little sister just wouldn't respond to the discussion-based way of doing things. I on the other hand, being a more sensitive child, reacted poorly to spankings but when my parents would talk to me about why it was wrong it worked extremely well. Though that approach failed immediately with my little sister

[lexus]

Take all his car keys away and refuse to give them back until he gives it back to you, better still put a "virus" on his pc and tell him you need your ibook to fix it.

[Kardashian]

put a "virus" on his pc and tell him you need your ibook to fix it.


Haha! You rock! :)

[technicolor]

I agree different folks different strokes. My little sister just wouldn't respond to the discussion-based way of doing things. I on the other hand, being a more sensitive child, reacted poorly to spankings but when my parents would talk to me about why it was wrong it worked extremely well. Though that approach failed immediately with my little sister
Same here..:D My brother needs to be swatted from time to time , he has a thick skull. Me..it would hurt my feelings to even think I had the disapproval of my parents. All it took was a look from my mom for me to burst in tears. I got one spanking my entire childhood, and I remember it distinctly. As an adult, I can honestly say I deserved it too.

[technicolor]

Take all his car keys away and refuse to give them back until he gives it back to you, better still put a "virus" on his pc and tell him you need your ibook to fix it.
Hope you are offering him your sofa, for when he gets kicked out...

[OnceUGoMac]

I'm not going to start with you, but as someone who's had a little more than a 'belt whipping' - fear is NOT the way to run a home, or a family.

Children, as badly behaved as they can be, are still human beings. They still process things (on some level) - even if it doesn't show.

I think you should ask yourself WHY these 'tyrants' act the way they do.

You will also find children who have experienced violence and/or fear in the home also go on to pass these traits onto their own children, or if they don't have children - still carry the anger/hate/violence as adults - more often than so, ending them up prison.

I agree with you that in some respects, parents are too 'soft' on their children. But fear? You would actually want to make your child afraid of you? You think thats how to run a home?

You have no idea how much that comment angers me!

One minute we are being told to talk about sex, drugs, bullying etc with our parents - with openness and trust, then you come along and say we're meant to fear you?

Get a grip, for heavens sake.

Fear does not equal respect. Fear equals fear. Which over the years will multiply, and if you can go to bed at night satisfied that your own child is afraid of you, and by using bullying tactics your being a good parent.. my God do you have a lot to learn.

If you as a parent, disspapoint your child, or do something wrong (against the unwritten rules of 'being a parent') - then let them smack you. With a belt, whatever. Let them make you fear them.

When they grow older, or even when their 10/11 years of age, and someone in school says a comment about them, or steals something their playing with, and your child hits that other child? or worse? Your gonna be proud?

You should be. You've raised them a bully.

Well, yeah. If I was your dad, all I'd have to do is give you a buzzcut.:p

[iTwitch]

They didnt have ibooks to take away back then...

Etch-A-Sketch and slinky, I hated not being able to play with my high tech toys.

[Hummer]

Take all his car keys away and refuse to give them back until he gives it back to you, better still put a "virus" on his pc and tell him you need your ibook to fix it.

Finally someone who gives me an idea. :rolleyes:

[stonyc]

I agree with what Mongo said about being falsely accused of one crime, but then committing anotherone... your dad may have overreacted and though you may have done nothing wrong (it did sound like you "sassed" him), you only made things worse by finding and re-hiding your iBook.

[Kardashian]

Well, yeah. If I was your dad, all I'd have to do is give you a buzzcut.:p

Haha! Well played, OnceUGoMac! :)

Had that sorted, got a free haircut from the best stylist in town - normally charges £60 - 'cos I was presenting that fashion show..

Its mega cool now, LOL.

[CompUser]

The first place I would look is in their bedroom. Look under the bed, in the drawers, or under a pile of cloths. Next I would look in their closet. I would then look in a part of the house that is not often used like a formal living room or dining room.

The 2nd best way to get it back is to work out your problems with your dad or take your dads laptop, cell phone, car keys, etc and hold them hostage. :):cool: (don't try that)

[Hummer]

I agree with what Mongo said about being falsely accused of one crime, but then committing anotherone... your dad may have overreacted and though you may have done nothing wrong (it did sound like you "sassed" him), you only made things worse by finding and re-hiding your iBook.

I'm not giving into him because he's an adult. All I did was suggest something and I get yelled at and grounded. I'm tired of the whole kids should just listen, shut up and accept whatever they get. If I am treated unfairly I'm fighting back.

The first place I would look is in their bedroom. Look under the bed, in the drawers, or under a pile of cloths. Next I would look in their closet. I would then look in a part of the house that is not often used like a formal living room or dining room.


I still can't seem to find it even though I think I've looked everywhere. I'm trying to listen for the fan.

[OutThere]

I agree different folks different strokes. My little sister just wouldn't respond to the discussion-based way of doing things. I on the other hand, being a more sensitive child, reacted poorly to spankings but when my parents would talk to me about why it was wrong it worked extremely well. Though that approach failed immediately with my little sister

Definitely.

I see parents who insist on only using the 'discussion' and 'time out' method every day at work.

While little Jimmy runs around flinging ice cream into the air and hitting his parents all they can do is say "James Andrew Horrigan! That's a time out young man!"

I agree it can work for some kids, but too much leniency makes kids unable to deal with any sort of authority.

Me? I got spanked. Bent over the radiator and bare-palmed. :eek: (very very rarely)

[Kardashian]

Tell him you need it for School..You've done wrong, and you own up to it.

Tell him you realised now that taking the laptop back was wrong, and it was undermining his authority. You've seen the error of your ways, and as you've been mature enough to realise hes right, and you are wrong, you hope you can have your laptop back.

Tell him you have served your punishment and seen the error of your ways ("Dad I realise I shouldn't have...but I do feel you need to listen to my version more often. My views may not always be right, but it would be nice to be heard..") - and that as you have been grown-up enough to take the second-part of your punishment like a man, hopefully he can treat you like one, by providing you with a laptop you need.. for School, and letting you voice your concerns/opinions.

Don't take it back - you are being punished for a reason. And remember, there's always someone worse off than you.

PS: To become and adult, you have to be treated like one.. and taking little Hummers toys isn't teaching him many life skills

[ham_man]

Just suck it up. It'll be better in the long run.

[TheAnswer]

It would be best if I just told the story...To make the ending shorter. I did pick up my sister and I did it the way I suggested because my mom butted in. And my way didn't involve me sitting in the heat for two hours.

Sure you avoided the heat...:)
But now you don't have your laptop. :(

You have to understand that the best way to deal with something you don't want to do is to make the best of it or try to compromise.

In this case I'm going to guess that either there is some background that makes your father believe that you wouldn't be responsible enough to pick up your sister on time OR that he wanted the two of your to spend time together while you watched the lesson.

The best way to approach the situation might have been: 1) tell your dad you're a little groggy since you just woke up and it might take a little more time than he expects 2) Put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and wash your face 3) Hang out with your dad a little while, then maybe take a walk in the rest of the park or something.

Something tells me that your dad and you don't have a very close relationship. One way to improve this is to try to see things from he point of view (it will give you insight into why he's doing things. You don't always have to agree with him, but if you understand where he is coming from you have a better chance of compromising with him or changing his mind).

You father and you both come across as people set in their opinions. If there are two rocks banging together, the stronger rock (your father since he owns the house) will always win. If you try and be more flexible, like water...you might find you can soften the edges of the relationship and get along better. Good luck.

[Timepass]

Read the story.

I thought it was a better investment than a mac mini. I wanted to switch and I wanted something portable. What sold me was the fact that I could put it into dual screen mode.


I read the story and I going to have to say you screwed up. I dont by there no way I can get reading in time crap conderiding I pulled of the less than 5 mins waking up getting dressed and out the door for class (alarm was set for the wrong time). Now I didnt get my morning shower but I did have time t comb my hear and grab a cup of coffee as I was moving off to my car.

It is not hard to rush if need be.

Also your dad statement was made in anger and you shuld of known that and knew it was an anger statement and he still wanted you to go to you sister practic and stuff. I goign to guess the reason he wanted you there the entire time is she is a younger sister so you would be there for her safety (I dont care what you say about your neiborhood it for both you parents and you sister peace of mind). Your dad took something from you that he knew would get the point accross that you screwed up. Apprently you didnt get it.

As for understanding this stuff I went though that stage with both my parents. My mom I am more likely to have yelling matches with. My dad I gotten in to matches with him. I highly respect my dad but when he gets angery he gets angery and will say things like that. Been there done that.

Your next mistake was going hunting for it in the house. That tick off a parent because it is a clear sign you didnt get. On top of that you tried to recuited your sister in on it. She did the right thing. My brother and I learned the leasoon the hard way trying to get my sister involved and not only did we get in trouble for trying to get her involved we got in trouble for trying to go around it.

As for you ibook I wouldnt be surpised if you dad took it to work with him and he going to keep it there for a while because clearly you dont get it. I also wouldnt be surpised if it is in the house. My home with my parents is a middem size house and I know little hidding spots that people would not fine. There always there. My parents have hide stuff from me before and I though I looked everywhere you could think of for it and never found it.

The best advice is talk to your dad calmly and resepctfully. You dont have much of a leg to stand on here. Honor resepct and love your parents. 9 times out of 10 they are right and then of the 1 out of 10 times they are wrong chance are really good that you screwed up even worse than they did.

[stonyc]

I'm not giving into him because he's an adult. All I did was suggest something and I get yelled at and grounded. I'm tired of the whole kids should just listen, shut up and accept whatever they get. If I am treated unfairly I'm fighting back.Except he clothes you, feeds you... and maybe I missed it, but did you pay for the iBook yourself? What about your car? You want to be treated fairly, as an adult? Act like one. If you're not prepared to do that, have yourself declared an emancipated minor (if my assumption that you're a minor is wrong, sorry). If you're in college, who is paying for that?

Sorry, but until you're out on your own, living under your own roof, driving your own car, buying and cooking your own food... his house, his rules.

[TheAnswer]

I'm not giving into him because he's an adult. All I did was suggest something and I get yelled at and grounded. I'm tired of the whole kids should just listen, shut up and accept whatever they get. If I am treated unfairly I'm fighting back.

You have to understand that the way your father is acting (right or wrong) is based on how he was brought up and just about everything he's gone through in his life.

"treated unfairly" goes both ways (I'm sure he feels you treated him unfairly in some way)...and how you are being treated now might seem like a dream world if you choose to escalate things.

Fighting back in this way only works if you have some power...as a 15 year old living is your parents house, you don't have a lot of that kind power.

Another suggestion that might open some dialogue and get you the laptop back is if you offer to let him sleep in next tennis lesson and offer to take your sister to her lesson and pick her up. (Just make it clear its a one time thing, otherwise you might end up doing it forever :eek: ).

As for where the laptop is now, I'm guessing he knows that you will look for it so he took it somewhere where you can't find it. Better to give up the search and find a diplomatic way to get it back.

[Hummer]

Except he clothes you, feeds you...

My mommy does that.

but did you pay for the iBook yourself?

Yep

What about your car?

I'm only 15. I don't own a car, nor can I drive one.

You want to be treated fairly, as an adult?

The meaning of fairness changes with age? Where have I been?


Fighting back in this way only works if you have some power...as a 15 year old living is your parents house, you don't have a lot of that kind power.

I have easy access to... basically anything important to him. I also have an internet connect. I call that quite a bit of power. I know what I'm capable of doing. I don't want to go that far though as it's only a laptop and hopefully he'll give it back. If not I'll just have to buy another one. I just made this thread to see if it were possible for me to find it. I didn't really want all of this.

[ham_man]

My mommy does that.
Yep
I'm only 15. I don't own a car, nor can I drive one.
The meaning of fairness changes with age? Where have I been?
Just keep digging...

[Killyp]

I see where Hummer is coming from.

My parents get mad at me for not being a "small child who should always do whatever his parents want".

I pay for my own clothes, everything in my room was payed for by me, and I often pay for my own food (we eat at mealtimes, but at school and on workdays, I pay for it myself). The only thing my parents pay for is my education, which is admittedly *quite* at lot!

However, I am quite often treated unfairly. This is wrong about kids not respecting their elders. The easiest way of making a child respect you is to respect them and not treat them like small children.

At mine and Hummer's age, we are getting towards being men, and we shouldn't be treated like we are small children any more. We have every right to say what we want, whether people want to listen to us or not.

Respect is a two way thing. I respect my parents quite a bit, but they still tell me what I should do, when to do stuff, and if they think something's a bad idea, they'll try and stop me from doing it.


If punishment is the way to go, do you think people that came out from the concentration camps respect the people who were in control in there? No.

[yg17]

If not I'll just have to buy another one.

damn spoiled kids :rolleyes:

There are 2 ways a 15 year old can just be like "Oh, my dad took my laptop, I'll go buy another one":

1: Selling crack down on a corner in the ghetto
2: Parents either buy laptop or give their kid a hefty allowance

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're not selling crack.

[Hummer]

Also your dad statement was made in anger and you shuld of known that and knew it was an anger statement and he still wanted you to go to you sister practic and stuff. I goign to guess the reason he wanted you there the entire time is she is a younger sister so you would be there for her safety (I dont care what you say about your neiborhood it for both you parents and you sister peace of mind). Your dad took something from you that he knew would get the point accross that you screwed up. Apprently you didnt get it.


My dad was there with her. I just needed to be there before he left, which I was. My way was just me leaving out after them instead of going in the car with them. I have no idea why he didn't like the idea, but my mom had no problem with it. My dad was there with her and when I got there he would leave.

Also I don't call him taking away my stuff trying to get a point accross, I call that him taking something from me to make me do what he wants to get it back.

On top of that you tried to recuited your sister in on it. She did the right thing. My brother and I learned the leasoon the hard way trying to get my sister involved and not only did we get in trouble for trying to get her involved we got in trouble for trying to go around it.


My mom gave the okay for my sister to use it. He took it away from me, not my sister.

[Killyp]

Or we could just have jobs. I work in a TV/HIFI store on saturdays, I have no allowance. I paid for my MBP, PC (all £1400 of it) entire surround sound system (cost me over £1500 second hand)...

Kids are getting older younger...

[Queso]

My mommy does that.
My mom gave the okay for my sister to use it. He took it away from me, not my sister.
Yeah, play your parents off against each other. That'll help the situation :rolleyes:

The meaning of fairness changes with age? Where have I been?
Are you assuming your father's life is fair? Or anyone else's? Fairness has nothing to do with it. When you get to your Dad's age you'll realise that. In the meantime I can guarantee that however many hours a week you put in for him are dwarfed by the amount he does in return, even if you do think your mother pays for everything.

I have easy access to... basically anything important to him. I also have an internet connect. I call that quite a bit of power. I know what I'm capable of doing. I don't want to go that far though as it's only a laptop and hopefully he'll give it back. If not I'll just have to buy another one. I just made this thread to see if it were possible for me to find it. I didn't really want all of this.
Now you're just sounding like a spoilt child on the verge of throwing a tantrum. It's probably best you suck it up and quit whilst you're ahead. Escalate this and you will come off worse.

[Hummer]

damn spoiled kids :rolleyes:

There are 2 ways a 15 year old can just be like "Oh, my dad took my laptop, I'll go buy another one":

1: Selling crack down on a corner in the ghetto
2: Parents either buy laptop or give their kid a hefty allowance

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're not selling crack.

Let's just say I know my way around the internet enough to make money from it.

Now you're just sounding like a spoilt child on the verge of throwing a tantrum. It's probably best you suck it up and quit whilst you're ahead. Escalate this and you will come off worse.

I live with the guy... Personal stuff is everywhere. I'm not spoilt, I can tell you that. He doesn't give me this stuff.
If this is that big of a problem to me I would go that far bringing myself down also, but it's not so yea.

[stonyc]

If punishment is the way to go, do you think people that came out from the concentration camps respect the people who were in control in there? No.So you're equating getting a laptop taken away because the OP may or may not have disrespected his dad... to the systematic slaughter of millions of people.

The bottom line is the OP may or may not have listened to his dad in a prompt enough manner, and was punished for it. We can debate whether that punishment was justified or not... but the fact remains that the OP then circumvented his father by not only finding and re-hiding his iBook, but made it worse by involving his sister (whom he stated "ratted" him out, that right there tells me that what he knew what he was doing was wrong). Now he states that he has the power to hijack his dad's car keys, computers, etc. Like I said, and others have said, if you wanted to be treated as an adult, act like one. If the OP feels his dad overreacted, be the bigger man and apologize for circumventing the punishment and then have a reasoned discussion about what precipitated this all.

[TheAnswer]

My mommy does that.

In large part it still works this way, you mom is the one who raises you from a baby to an adult, but it's your father who really molds you into a man.

I think it was probably wrong of you to get your mom involved and get out of sitting in the sun. Sure it worked short term, but you don't have your laptop back yet, which means on the whole, either your mother is on your dad's side (or your dad realizes you will use your mom to try and get it back, so he isn't listening to her on this one).

In general, it's wrong to talk with one parent about the decisions of another. The best thing is to talk to them together, let them discuss it, and live with the outcome (since at heart, they only want what is best for you in the long run).

The younger you are, in general, the more shortsighted your view of time, right/wrong, and actions tend to be. It would probably be best to do what your parents ask of you at the time, then if you have a problem, say you'd like to discuss it with both of them later.

In this way, as you talk with them about reasons you believe a particular request was unreasonable, rude, unwarranted or misguided, the both of them will be able to discuss ways to make their expectations more bearable for you in the future.

Plus, if you talk to them together, you're more likely to get a reasoning that you understand...I find that my father was very good at telling me to do things, but I was always curious why...my mother was the one that was good at explaining things to me.

[Hummer]

So you're equating getting a laptop taken away because the OP may or may not have disrespected his dad... to the systematic slaughter of millions of people.

The bottom line is the OP may or may not have listened to his dad in a prompt enough manner, and was punished for it. We can debate whether that punishment was justified or not... but the fact remains that the OP then circumvented his father by not only finding and re-hiding his iBook, but made it worse by involving his sister (whom he stated "ratted" him out, that right there tells me that what he knew what he was doing was wrong). Now he states that he has the power to hijack his dad's car keys, computers, etc. Like I said, and others have said, if you wanted to be treated as an adult, act like one. If the OP feels his dad overreacted, be the bigger man and apologize for circumventing the punishment and then have a reasoned discussion about what precipitated this all.

Okay, throw out the idea of me being related to the person who took away my ibook.

Let me see you get mugged and try to be diplomatic with the mugger to get it back. Be the bigger man and try to talk to him to get it back. And better yet, if you happen to find the thing that was taken from you, don't take it back because that'll only piss the mugger off.

[Queso]

I'm not spoilt, I can tell you that. He doesn't give me this stuff.
Being spoilt doesn't mean you get given lots of things. It's how you react when you don't get what you want. If he's punishing you, take it like a man rather than whinging like a child. Going all out for petty revenge isn't going to do anything other than ensure you lose your Linux box too.

[TheAnswer]

I call that quite a bit of power.

With power comes responsibilty...you are accusing your father of obusing his power and now you are on the verge of following in his footsteps. :confused:

I didn't really want all of this.

Yet you got it, surprise...every action has a reaction. If you understood this more clearly, maybe this situation wouldn't have gone down in this way.

I also have an internet connect. I call that quite a bit of power.

The power of an internet connect is insignificant in comparision to the power of The Force.

[CoMpX]

Okay, throw out the idea of me being related to the person who took away my ibook.

Let me see you get mugged and try to be diplomatic with the mugger to get it back. Be the bigger man and try to talk to him to get it back. And better yet, if you happen to find the thing that was taken from you, don't take it back because that'll only piss the mugger off.

Dude, I am the same age as you, and I'm sorry to say that you have the mind of a 12 year old. We are not talking about some mugger on the street now. We are talking about your father, the man who raised you from birth. Have some respect, apologize, and you will be lucky if he is nice enough to give it back to you. You deserve to have it taken away.

[Hummer]

In large part it still works this way, you mom is the one who raises you from a baby to an adult, but it's your father who really molds you into a man.

I think it was probably wrong of you to get your mom involved and get out of sitting in the sun. Sure it worked short term, but you don't have your laptop back yet, which means on the whole, either your mother is on your dad's side (or your dad realizes you will use your mom to try and get it back, so he isn't listening to her on this one).

In general, it's wrong to talk with one parent about the decisions of another. The best thing is to talk to them together, let them discuss it, and live with the outcome (since at heart, they only want what is best for you in the long run).

The younger you are, in general, the more shortsighted your view of time, right/wrong, and actions tend to be. It would probably be best to do what your parents ask of you at the time, then if you have a problem, say you'd like to discuss it with both of them later.

In this way, as you talk with them about reasons you believe a particular request was unreasonable, rude, unwarranted or misguided, the both of them will be able to discuss ways to make their expectations more bearable for you in the future.

Plus, if you talk to them together, you're more likely to get a reasoning that you understand...I find that my father was very good at telling me to do things, but I was always curious why...my mother was the one that was good at explaining things to me.

The thing is I usually do what my parents ask of me. This time I just made a suggestion and without being turned down I was punished. I didn't see him talk out anything with me. I brought up a suggestion and I thought he would be okay with it since it wasn't so farfetched and I actually thought it was a good idea. He didn't say no, he didn't say yes.

He got my mom involved. He called her on the phone and had her talk to me.

[Hummer]

Yet you got it, surprise...every action has a reaction. If you understood this more clearly, maybe this situation wouldn't have gone down in this way.


No, I meant I didn't want all of these replies. I just wanted a response of whether I could find it or not and I would handle it from there

[CoMpX]

No, I meant I didn't want all of these replies. I just wanted a response of whether I could find it or not and I would handle it from there

Not always that easy. This is a forum of people who have opinions and thoughts, and you are going to get them whether you ask for them or not. ;)

[Hummer]

Being spoilt doesn't mean you get given lots of things. It's how you react when you don't get what you want. If he's punishing you, take it like a man rather than whinging like a child. Going all out for petty revenge isn't going to do anything other than ensure you lose your Linux box too.

I'm sorry if I got mad because something I paid a grand and change for was taken away.

[Timepass]

In large part it still works this way, you mom is the one who raises you from a baby to an adult, but it's your father who really molds you into a man.

I think it was probably wrong of you to get your mom involved and get out of sitting in the sun. Sure it worked short term, but you don't have your laptop back yet, which means on the whole, either your mother is on your dad's side (or your dad realizes you will use your mom to try and get it back, so he isn't listening to her on this one).

In general, it's wrong to talk with one parent about the decisions of another. The best thing is to talk to them together, let them discuss it, and live with the outcome (since at heart, they only want what is best for you in the long run).

The younger you are, in general, the more shortsighted your view of time, right/wrong, and actions tend to be. It would probably be best to do what your parents ask of you at the time, then if you have a problem, say you'd like to discuss it with both of them later.

In this way, as you talk with them about reasons you believe a particular request was unreasonable, rude, unwarranted or misguided, the both of them will be able to discuss ways to make their expectations more bearable for you in the future.

Plus, if you talk to them together, you're more likely to get a reasoning that you understand...I find that my father was very good at telling me to do things, but I was always curious why...my mother was the one that was good at explaining things to me.

I agree with answer here. Hummer you have been told time and time again by several memeber that you are wrong and the more you add to try to say that you are right the more stead fast we become in our posistion.

Some of the poeple telling you are wrong are parents and they know what they are talking about and are telling you the views from a parents.

others like me are in college so things like this are still really fresh in our minds and we 2 are telling you that you are wrong. We had a little time away from our parents and gain the adavatage of seeing the world with out there control 24/7. And we have learned how they are right in most of actions.

Looking back on my childhood growing up I can rememeber quite few times thinking of the world like you do with my parents and not agreeing with them. Now several years later my views of the same things are that of my parents and I agree with what they did. I can see more long term.

You even said so your self that you where going to have you sister use it and then have her hide it so you could use it (BIG NO NO).

Hummer you screwed up. I havent seen any real post here that have been taking your side so now you have HS though parents all stating you are wrong.

I think you need to accept the fact that you are wrong. If you still havent figure out what you did wrong. TALK TO YOUR DAD in a respectful manner ask him. Dont be rude. Look appoligic and truelly fee sorry for waht you did. Chance are really good he tell you exaclty what you did wrong and trust me you screwed up and chance are that list will be exaclty what you did wrong.


And lastly I just going to have to add you are acting like a spoil kid right now. 15 year old having 1grand to spend that general unheard of with out having qutie a bit of parental help and guidens. You are sorry you lost you ibook but you are not sorry for your accetion that lead to that and have yet to try to make reprands of said actions.

[dornoforpyros]

buy your own damn iBook and quite your winning, christ, I'm never going to reproduce

[yg17]

Okay, throw out the idea of me being related to the person who took away my ibook.

Let me see you get mugged and try to be diplomatic with the mugger to get it back. Be the bigger man and try to talk to him to get it back. And better yet, if you happen to find the thing that was taken from you, don't take it back because that'll only piss the mugger off.

Horrible analogy. A mugger has no right to take your stuff and is a theif. Your dad has every right to take things way from you as a punishment, because he is your dad, and if he tells you to do something and you don't obey, well, then expect punishment.

[Queso]

I'm sorry if I got mad because something I paid a grand and change for was taken away.
Wrong apology with the wrong attitude to the wrong person.

[stonyc]

Okay, throw out the idea of me being related to the person who took away my ibook.Except you can't do that.

Let me see you get mugged and try to be diplomatic with the mugger to get it back. Be the bigger man and try to talk to him to get it back. And better yet, if you happen to find the thing that was taken from you, don't take it back because that'll only piss the mugger off.And, we're not talking about a mugger... we're talking about your father.

These comparisons to muggers and the Holocaust are so out of line to this situation...

[Hummer]

You even said so your self that you where going to have you sister use it and then have her hide it so you could use it (BIG NO NO).

I didn't say that. I didn't even have her hide it. I let her use it so I would know where it was. I wasn't even going to use it. When I found where he hid it I didn't use it and I was home alone. I figured since my sister would be using it he would let her do so and I wouldn't have to worry about where he put it at. My sister doesn't have a computer so yea. She's only 7. I said she ratted me out because she did. She ratted me out that I was looking for it and I found it. I wanted her to say that she found it and was wondering if she could use it since I couldn't. I had no plans of using it until he would have given it back. Once again, when I found it I didn't use it. I could have, but I didn't.

Also. I didn't ask for anyone to take my side. So what if you all think I screwed up. I just wanted to know if I could find it.

[yg17]

I didn't say that. I didn't even have her hide it. I let her use it so I would know where it was. I wasn't even going to use it. When I found where he hid it I didn't use it and I was home alone. I figured since my sister would be using it he would let her do so and I wouldn't have to worry about where he put it at. My sister doesn't have a computer so yea. She's only 7. I said she ratted me out because she did. She ratted me out that I was looking for it and I found it. I wanted her to say that she found it and was wondering if she could use it since I couldn't. I had no plans of using it until he would have given it back. Once again, when I found it I didn't use it. I could have, but I didn't.

Also. I didn't ask for anyone to take my side. So what if you all think I screwed up. I just wanted to know if I could find it.


So you just wanted to know where it was? :rolleyes:

I have a hard time believing that you never intended to use it.

[TheAnswer]

The thing is I usually do what my parents ask of me. This time I just made a suggestion and without being turned down I was punished. I didn't see him talk out anything with me. I brought up a suggestion and I thought he would be okay with it since it wasn't so farfetched and I actually thought it was a good idea. He didn't say no, he didn't say yes.

He got my mom involved. He called her on the phone and had her talk to me.

Hmm...then there is probably an underlying problem, either with the way you interact with your dad or maybe just how he feels you interact with him.

He obviously felt that you weren't being cooperative, since he called your mom. This means he feels he has problems effectively getting you to do things. I'm not saying that you don't usually do things, but that for some reason (like, maybe his instructions aren't clear enough, or something) his expectations and the results you generate are not the same.

It seems clear from the thread that you are closer to your mom than your dad, so the best way to get past this is probably to try and bridge that gap somehow.

And (I know this goes against my previous post), you might try talking to your mother about why she thinks this happened. Ask her about what might have made your father act like this, like job stress...also ask her if she knows how your father feels about the relationship you have with him.

In the end, it's mainly about being able to see his perspective and what is driving that perspective, then you'll understand him better and if a situation comes up like this, you might be smart enough to detect it...you'll be able to say to yourself "today is not dad's best day, he's stressed out from working hard, he's probably not in the mood to listen to suggestions, so I'll just do what he wants and try to make the best of it"

Good luck.

[CoMpX]

I didn't say that. I didn't even have her hide it. I let her use it so I would know where it was. I wasn't even going to use it. When I found where he hid it I didn't use it and I was home alone. I figured since my sister would be using it he would let her do so and I wouldn't have to worry about where he put it at. My sister doesn't have a computer so yea. She's only 7. I said she ratted me out because she did. She ratted me out that I was looking for it and I found it. I wanted her to say that she found it and was wondering if she could use it since I couldn't. I had no plans of using it until he would have given it back. Once again, when I found it I didn't use it. I could have, but I didn't.

Also. I didn't ask for anyone to take my side. So what if you all think I screwed up. I just wanted to know if I could find it.

You want a quick answer? No, you can't find it. There, finished.

About the situation with your sister, either way you undermined your dad and it's wrong. I'm sure your dad has it in a safe place and he would not harm it.

[Killyp]

I'm sorry but a lot of people's views on this forum is that taking the iBook away is a punishment.

It's not quit like that you see, if my dad takes something away from me (which he doesn't, they don't do that), then how am I going to be able to respect him? He is in a way no better than the people who nick my trainers at school without me asking.

The way to get people to respect you is to respect them. If I came round to your house and nicked your iBook, PowerBook or MacBook because you said your opinion or something I don't agree with, then would you respect me?

No no no, give others what you want in return. If my dad took something from me, then he could expect me to take something from me. We live in a household where people generally respect everyone else. It works pretty well and although my parents get mad at me for some things, it works well. If my parents ask me to do something, then I'll do it because I know that if I ask them for something, then they do it.

Most people have a very old-fashioned view on punishment.

[Vader]

I didn't say that. I didn't even have her hide it. I let her use it so I would know where it was. I wasn't even going to use it. When I found where he hid it I didn't use it and I was home alone. I figured since my sister would be using it he would let her do so and I wouldn't have to worry about where he put it at. My sister doesn't have a computer so yea. She's only 7. I said she ratted me out because she did. She ratted me out that I was looking for it and I found it. I wanted her to say that she found it and was wondering if she could use it since I couldn't. I had no plans of using it until he would have given it back. Once again, when I found it I didn't use it. I could have, but I didn't.

Also. I didn't ask for anyone to take my side. So what if you all think I screwed up. I just wanted to know if I could find it.
Yeah good work, trying to get a 7 year old to lie for you..

[Vader]

I'm sorry but a lot of people's views on this forum is that taking the iBook away is a punishment.

It's not quit like that you see, if my dad takes something away from me (which he doesn't, they don't do that), then how am I going to be able to respect him? He is in a way no better than the people who nick my trainers at school without me asking.

The way to get people to respect you is to respect them. If I came round to your house and nicked your iBook, PowerBook or MacBook because you said your opinion or something I don't agree with, then would you respect me?

No no no, give others what you want in return. If my dad took something from me, then he could expect me to take something from me. We live in a household where people generally respect everyone else. It works pretty well and although my parents get mad at me for some things, it works well. If my parents ask me to do something, then I'll do it because I know that if I ask them for something, then they do it.

Most people have a very old-fashioned view on punishment.
So why did he take it away then?
obviously you haven't learned the lesson yet. Your dad HAS AUTHORITY OVER YOU!

[Hummer]

Hmm...then there is probably an underlying problem, either with the way you interact with your dad or maybe just how he feels you interact with him.

He obviously felt that you weren't being cooperative, since he called your mom. This means he feels he has problems effectively getting you to do things. I'm not saying that you don't usually do things, but that for some reason (like, maybe his instructions aren't clear enough, or something) his expectations and the results you generate are not the same.

It seems clear from the thread that you are closer to your mom than your dad, so the best way to get past this is probably to try and bridge that gap somehow.

And (I know this goes against my previous post), you might try talking to your mother about why she thinks this happened. Ask her about what might have made your father act like this, like job stress...also ask her if she knows how your father feels about the relationship you have with him.

In the end, it's mainly about being able to see his perspective and what is driving that perspective, then you'll understand him better and if a situation comes up like this, you might be smart enough to detect it...you'll be able to say to yourself "today is not dad's best day, he's stressed out from working hard, he's probably not in the mood to listen to suggestions, so I'll just do what he wants and try to make the best of it"

Good luck.

Thanks,

My dad has a temper though, my mom told me. I know he always holds things in. But when he vents he does vent. And when he took my ibook and whooped my ass that was a form of venting.

[yg17]

I'm sorry but a lot of people's views on this forum is that taking the iBook away is a punishment.

It's not quit like that you see, if my dad takes something away from me (which he doesn't, they don't do that), then how am I going to be able to respect him? He is in a way no better than the people who nick my trainers at school without me asking.

The way to get people to respect you is to respect them. If I came round to your house and nicked your iBook, PowerBook or MacBook because you said your opinion or something I don't agree with, then would you respect me?

No no no, give others what you want in return. If my dad took something from me, then he could expect me to take something from me. We live in a household where people generally respect everyone else. It works pretty well and although my parents get mad at me for some things, it works well. If my parents ask me to do something, then I'll do it because I know that if I ask them for something, then they do it.

Most people have a very old-fashioned view on punishment.

Hummer disrespected his dad by not obeying him, so his dad took something away. It's not an issue of the parent not respecting a kid, it's an issue of the kid not respecting the parent.

And if you ask me, taking away something the kid values is very respectful. It's teaching him a valuable life lesson: do something bad and you pay for it. If you never punish your kid and he does something and winds up in jail because you never taught him a thing about consequences, well, that's not very respectful, is it?

[Hummer]

Hummer disrespected his dad by not obeying him, so his dad took something away. It's not an issue of the parent not respecting a kid, it's an issue of the kid not respecting the parent.

And if you ask me, taking away something the kid values is very respectful. It's teaching him a valuable life lesson: do something bad and you pay for it. If you never punish your kid and he does something and winds up in jail because you never taught him a thing about consequences, well, that's not very respectful, is it?

You have to understand. I didn't disrespect him until he pissed me off. I just made that one suggestion in a respectful way. He didn't even reply to it and he comes at me taking the iBook before I did anything else. Basically he took it when I did nothing at all. I literally did nothing at all. I don't know how making a suggestion could be put against as me as disrespectful. Usually when I make suggestions they don't cause the person to bust in a room, throw a chair, and take stuff from me.

[TheAnswer]

Also. I didn't ask for anyone to take my side. So what if you all think I screwed up. I just wanted to know if I could find it.

I think you are missing the bigger picture...this is a mac forum, so we all have something is common. Believe it or not, most of these posts are trying to make your life easier. We all have different perspectives on the situation, but in general we are all trying to help.

[Applespider]

You're 15. You live at home. Your parents work to put a roof over your head, feed you, clothe you, provide healthcare and ensure you get an education. Good for you on working to earn some cash to buy your Macbook but bear in mind, that it's because they provide other necessities, that you can afford to buy yourself luxuries.

While you live in your parents' home, you are their dependent and what they says goes, irregardless of how unfair you think it is. When you move out and are supporting yourself, then your say goes. Most parents are pretty reasonable and there's a heck of a lot of give and take that goes on that you might be unaware of. It sounds like your dad was prepared to watch your kid sister in the park in the heat for some of the time - and if you have a reputation for not showing up, then it's no wonder he wanted to make sure you were there rather than leave a 7 year old alone or be late for his appointment rather than let you stay in bed for an extra 30 minutes.

Trying to be smart by finding it or hiding his stuff, is a route to disaster. You'll find yourself grounded and missing more items. Grow up, apologise and you might get it back quicker. Oh, and don't use the 'I wanted to keep it safe line' - the only way your Dad would consider damaging a thousand dollar computer is if you piss him off enough and that would likely take him another step down that path.

[TheAnswer]

My dad has a temper though, my mom told me. I know he always holds things in. But when he vents he does vent. And when he took my ibook and whooped my ass that was a form of venting...

For the short term then, you have to be able to spot the times when even a suggestion will tick him off. It might take some training, but usually people that hold things in have signs as to their anger level. Of course these are even harder to spot when you've just been woken up.

You have to understand. I didn't disrespect him until he pissed me off.

Somehow I think you probably should have known that disrespecting wasn't going to help the situation, but you reacted because you were angry. You were probably angry because you were afraid that you were going to loose two hours sitting in the sun, but in the end you ended up loosing more than that (just think of all the hours you've lost looking for the laptop and reading these posts!)

The thing to realize (yourself and hopefully your father will realize it soon or later too) is that anger doesn't really solve anything. It's usually just a big waste of time and energy, even when it seems to work short term, it fails long term because it generate negative feelings in others and you have to keep escalating to get the same results. And when you do achieve something through anger, you also end up wasting time wondering and fearing that someone will use their anger against you to achieve something. Unfortunately this is how most of the world goes around functioning. :confused:

[thedude110]

Basically he took it when I did nothing at all. I literally did nothing at all.

So, let me play teacher for a minute.

Here's the deal. I don't mean to stereotype, but a basic study of adolescent psychology shows that Western teenagers are overwhelmingly concerned with issues of "fairness" and "justice." Your quote above shows that you feel you've been treated unfairly.

But from your father's perspective, do you suppose this is an issue of fairness? Whether you agree with his actions or not, you're not going to make any progress toward solving this problem, or any larger problems the two of you may have, until you answer this question:

How does my father feel? And what did I do to make him feel that way?

The second question doesn't mean you did something wrong -- just that you did something and that made him feel something.

Seriously. Write 2 or 3 paragraphs on that. Whether or not you're being treated unfairly, you need to make a serious attempt at seeing his point of view.

More simply: You're better off learning how to recognize the viewpoints of people with whom you disagree than learning how to seek vengeance against them.

[Tanglewood]

TALK TO YOUR DAD!!

If you feel you were punished unfairly you're not going to get anywhere not talking to him about it. Though circumventing his punishment is just asking for the s*** to hit the fan. You're going to get your iBook back sooner or later, but remember that the way you act now is going to influence how your dad treats you down the road.

[QCassidy352]

Disclaimer: angry and judgmental rant follows. I don't mean to offend anyone, but what I've seen in this thread shocks and saddens me. My comments are not directed at any one person.


It just stuns me that people in this day and age can still think that hitting children is acceptable. They're not just "kids," they're people. Think about how you'd feel if someone bigger and stronger with total power over you hit you every time you did something wrong. Sound like fun? Sound like a good way to engender love and respect? Thugs and bullys throughout history have known that enough physical violence can make people behave.

If that's the only way you can make your child understand you, then you really need to work on your parenting skills. And before you ask, no I don't have children yet, but I've taken care of children plenty of times and wasn't a child so long ago myself.

My parents are both wonderful, loving, people. My two brothers and I were raised without being hit. None of us has ever been in trouble with the law, was ever suspended from school, or ever had discipline problems with any authority figure that didn't deserve it. The vast majority of my friends were raised without being hit and they turned out the same. Kids can understand and respond to an awful lot.

Put hitting aside for a moment. Parents are not always right. Sometimes they're arbitrary and mean for no reason. Sometimes they're just bastards in general; there are a lot of bastards out there, and unfortunately, sometimes they reproduce. To assume that a parent is always right, just because they're the adult, is the height of ignorance and arrogance. Children are people too. Smaller, not as developed mentally or physically, but people. Yes, sometimes a parent has to put his or her foot down, but that doesn't mean that you lash out physically or stop treating your child like a person. You want your children to treat you with respect? Try treating them with some.

As to the specifics of this situation, I don't know. From what the OP has said, it sounds like his dad lost his cool for no real reason. He not only took the ibook, but also beat the OP with a belt. For... what, exactly? Not getting ready fast enough? If any adult behaved like that towards another adult, we'd all agree that he had serious anger management issues and was a real danger. But because the victim is a child, the great majority of you seem to think the father is justified.

Of course, we are only hearing the OP's side of it. I don't know what the OP's father would say. Nothing could justify beating his son with a belt, but maybe taking the ibook was reasonable. I don't know. What I do know is that this is a complex situation between two people, and can't be resolved as easily as "he's right because he's your father."

Ultimately, of course, those of you who say that the father has authority are right. Both physically and legally, he is in control. It's a shame that he can't control his temper, but such is life. So my advice to you, Hummer, is to try to learn to see his blow-ups coming and avoid them. Not because he's necessarily right (tho he may be), but because it will make your life a whole lot easier.

[stonyc]

You have to understand. I didn't disrespect him until he pissed me off. I just made that one suggestion in a respectful way. He didn't even reply to it and he comes at me taking the iBook before I did anything else. Basically he took it when I did nothing at all. I literally did nothing at all. I don't know how making a suggestion could be put against as me as disrespectful. Usually when I make suggestions they don't cause the person to bust in a room, throw a chair, and take stuff from me.Trust me, I do understand. You thought that you were being helpful, and I'm sure given enough time to reflect, your dad would probably say that he could have handled that situation better. But you also have to understand a few things:

1) At that time, he wasn't looking for suggestions... was he stressed? Angry about something else? He wanted you to do do something, and you weren't doing it to his satisfaction, that's it. But TheAnswer (and others) brought up a very good point: If he was stressed, why? If he was angry about something else, why? There are ways to find out if he was, and what you can do to help in the future.

2) You involved your sister. Even though you say that when you found it, you had no intention of using your iBook... and since I don't know you, I have to take you at that word. But you involved your sister. You say she "ratted" you out. She should have. To ask her to lie for you is not only unfair to your dad, but it's unfair to her. She's probably not even old enough to understand why you were asking her to lie, only that you were asking her to lie. If you can't see how wrong it was to involve your sister in your problem, I don't know how else anyone can help you here.

3) Even saying that you could screw over your father by taking his keys, hacking his accounts, etc. is wrong. Doing so would escalate an already overblown argument into the realm of criminal... not to mention the trust you would lose not only from your father but any understanding/sympathy your mom has/had for you.

That said, you do have options:

- Keep quiet and take the punishment. I can tell that you don't like this option, but maybe both you and your dad need time to cool off.

- Apologize, but then talk to both your mom and dad (both separately and together if necessary) to find out why what happened did... tell them everything. You thought that you were helping, you felt what your dad did was unfair... but you want to find out how stuff like this can be prevented, or at least lessened in the future.

Personally, I feel that your dad initially overreacted to your not moving quickly enough to get ready. For whatever reasons, he was stressed and maybe took it out on you. But you crossed the line when you found where he had hidden your computer and then asked your sister to lie for you. At that point you lost any and all moral standing... Now, you can either fight this situation or you can try to make it better (at least for the future).

[QCassidy352]

Personally, I feel that your dad initially overreacted to your not moving quickly enough to get ready. For whatever reasons, he was stressed and maybe took it out on you. But you crossed the line when you found where he had hidden your computer and then asked your sister to lie for you. At that point you lost any and all moral standing... Now, you can either fight this situation or you can try to make it better (at least for the future).

This is by far the best post so far in this thread. Perfectly said, and excellent advice.

[Killyp]

Disclaimer: angry and judgmental rant follows. I don't mean to offend anyone, but what I've seen in this thread shocks and saddens me. My comments are not directed at any one person.


It just stuns me that people in this day and age can still think that hitting children is acceptable. They're not just "kids," they're people. Think about how you'd feel if someone bigger and stronger with total power over you hit you every time you did something wrong. Sound like fun? Sound like a good way to engender love and respect? Thugs and bullys throughout history have known that enough physical violence can make people behave.

If that's the only way you can make your child understand you, then you really need to work on your parenting skills. And before you ask, no I don't have children yet, but I've taken care of children plenty of times and wasn't a child so long ago myself.

My parents are both wonderful, loving, people. My two brothers and I were raised without being hit. None of us has ever been in trouble with the law, was ever suspended from school, or ever had discipline problems with any authority figure that didn't deserve it. The vast majority of my friends were raised without being hit and they turned out the same. Kids can understand and respond to an awful lot.

Put hitting aside for a moment. Parents are not always right. Sometimes they're arbitrary and mean for no reason. Sometimes they're just bastards in general; there are a lot of bastards out there, and unfortunately, sometimes they reproduce. To assume that a parent is always right, just because they're the adult, is the height of ignorance and arrogance. Children are people too. Smaller, not as developed mentally or physically, but people. Yes, sometimes a parent has to put his or her foot down, but that doesn't mean that you lash out physically or stop treating your child like a person. You want your children to treat you with respect? Try treating them with some.

As to the specifics of this situation, I don't know. From what the OP has said, it sounds like his dad lost his cool for no real reason. He not only took the ibook, but also beat the OP with a belt. For... what, exactly? Not getting ready fast enough? If any adult behaved like that towards another adult, we'd all agree that he had serious anger management issues and was a real danger. But because the victim is a child, the great majority of you seem to think the father is justified.

Of course, we are only hearing the OP's side of it. I don't know what the OP's father would say. Nothing could justify beating his son with a belt, but maybe taking the ibook was reasonable. I don't know. What I do know is that this is a complex situation between two people, and can't be resolved as easily as "he's right because he's your father."

Ultimately, of course, those of you who say that the father has authority are right. Both physically and legally, he is in control. It's a shame that he can't control his temper, but such is life. So my advice to you, Hummer, is to try to learn to see his blow-ups coming and avoid them. Not because he's necessarily right (tho he may be), but because it will make your life a whole lot easier.


Amen

[nightdweller25]

It would be best if I just told the story.

He wakes me up an hour before he's about to drop my sister off for tennis lessons.
I already know I have to pick her up, but my dad wants me to go with him to drop her off and he wants me to wait there through her lesson in the heat for her to finish. Now he's going to be there until a half hour before her lesson ends which is technically the time I must be there to watch her and then take her home. I don't have to be there 'til he has to leave to go to work from the tennis. \

He wakes me up an hour before he's about to leave. He tells me to get ready. I wake up and I sit there in a daze. He calls my name and tells me to hurry up.
I then tell him that there is no way I'll make it in time to come with him in the car and that he should just go drop her off instead of waiting for me to get ready and I'll be there to pick her up because the park where her lessons are is only a couple blocks away. So I start putting my clothes that I'm going to wear out on the bed quietly. And he runs into the room screaming that he's told me enough times to hurry up and get ready and that he's had enough. That's when he picks up my computer chair and acts like he's going to throw it at me and he throws it down and takes my iBook while saying "why should I ask you to do anything for me. Don't do anything for me anymore!!" and he hides the iBook. Now basically anything he wants me to do for him I do no questions asked. He really made no sense saying that. I took it literally as he doesn't want me to bring her home anymore after the lessons so I layed back down going to sleep. He comes back and he says you have one minute to get in that shower and get ready or next week you're grounded. I tell him that I told him to go and I'll be there before he has to leave to accompany her for her lessons. I also tell him I took his statement "don't do anything for me" literally. Then he makes this remark like oh boy he's using big words now and I'm just like... So he goes you have one minute to get ready or I'm getting the belt. It's like an half an hour before he has to leave and it takes me a half hour to shower and brush my teeth alone. I still have to iron my clothing and wash the gel out of my hair. I tell him again that I'll be there, but he goes "you don't know time, I can't have you doing that." And then he goes "so one minute and I'm getting the belt". At this moment I'm really pissed and I tell him he can go ahead and get the belt (I can take a beating). That's really all I want to say after that. A couple more statements he makes is where he goes way overboard and it's why I refuse to "talk out" the problem with him. I did get the belt, but it was like nothing to me so I will disregard that.

To make the ending shorter. I did pick up my sister and I did it the way I suggested because my mom butted in. And my way didn't involve me sitting in the heat for two hours.
I've only been punished once in my life, and it was a one week grounding when i was caught smoking pot. My parents rock:cool:. But seriously, that's only true because it's the only thing I've ever really done wrong, and in the end, it made my relationship with my mother stronger and she trusts me now more than ever. My parents always explained how they felt when I was misbehaving or done something semi-wrong and I was understood and never did it again.

[Kardashian]

Thank God for QCassidy352 and stonyc!

[solvs]

buy your own damn iBook and quite your winning
Um, he did. :rolleyes:

I agree with those who said your Dad overreacted and it was unfair, but that you have to just suck it up. I also had a strict parent who pulled the same kinda stuff. I was a good kid who got treated like a terror over nothing. You don't seem like a bad person, just young and wanting to fight over something that really isn't that important. Your Dad wanted you to do something, you wanted to do it another way, that doesn't always work in the real world. I'm sitting here right now because I have 2 different bosses telling me 2 different things, so I get to sit and wait for them to make up their minds over what they want to do. I'm not fighting back because I want to keep my job and it really doesn't matter. I'm sure your computer is fine. If it isn't, then you have a case for being mad.

So go apologize, even though you really shouldn't have to, but don't ask for it back. Make it clear you want nothing but to apologize. If he baits you, which he might, don't give in. Just tell him he's right and you're sorry, even if you aren't. Don't look for it, don't ask for it back, until after you're supposed to get it back. Say you need it for school. And don't trust a 7 year old.

[MultiM]

The only thing I'll add is that parents are people too; just as kids are people. It's not the "suggstion" Hummer made, it's how many times he has made these "reasonble" suggestions when asked to do something. This amounts to arguing to many people and I know I lose patience when somebody argues with me for no good reason than because he is 15 years old and that's what they do. just because you are a teenager and you think you know everything, you don't. Accept your punishment and grow up.

[whooleytoo]

It sounds to me like your father is prone to tantrums - it's very common in parents these days. He obviously completely overreacted when he picked up the computer chair and threatened to throw it. If he does it again, I'd definitely get out the baseball bat and get spanking - it's the only way he'll ever learn to control his temper.

Remember, spare the rod, spoil the parent!

In keeping with the aggressive tone of this thread!
:)

[Hummer]

So any news?

Nothing, the thing is probably melting in 100 degree weather here. I still have no idea where it is.

[OnceUGoMac]

Haha! Well played, OnceUGoMac! :)

Had that sorted, got a free haircut from the best stylist in town - normally charges £60 - 'cos I was presenting that fashion show..

Its mega cool now, LOL.

You owe me. You gotta teach me Welsh now. With a name like Morgan Lewis, do you think I'll have trouble finding relatives?:D

[lexus]

Nothing, the thing is probably melting in 100 degree weather here. I still have no idea where it is.
Get into a fit run round the house with a screw driver emptying cupboards etc. Then unscrew stuff and throw the screws away. Make sure it is the type of screw you cannot buy anywhere.

[RedTomato]

Disclaimer: angry and judgmental rant follows. I don't mean to offend anyone, but what I've seen in this thread shocks and saddens me. My comments are not directed at any one person.

It just stuns me that people in this day and age can still think that hitting children is acceptable.

I completely agree. I think anyone who advocates hitting children is a savage and a barbarian. I was also saddened by many of the comments in this thread. Are you so unintelligent that you have to resort to hitting a child to make your argument?

It is illegal to go up and hit an adult, why should it be legal to hit a child?

Are you seriously saying that children should have less legal protection from violence than adults do?

It's illegal in several european countries to hit children, and anything more than a smack is bordering on illegal here in the UK.

I have an 18 month old daughter, and she knows the difference between right and wrong. She knows she's not allowed to open the document cupboard, and several other rules. She goes to bed if I tell her to go. I explained these rules and taught her without hitting her.

I'm not saying either of us is perfect - sometimes she breaks the rules, sometimes I get frustrated, - but a firm voice and a finger wag is enough, as well as a bit of intelligence to work out if she's breaking the rules because she is unaware or if she is bored or if she wants attention (grinning when I warn her is a dead giveaway) and a bit more careful brainwork to work out the appropiate reaction in each case, avoiding knee-jerk reactions and increased frustration.

I'm trying very hard to avoid making any statements about the USA because I have many dear american friends who are also against hitting children, but I'm also slightly disappointed cos I did sort of expect better from Macrumours people.

To the original poster who had his laptop taken. Your father has a temper. It's better that he took your laptop rather than hit you - that seems a more constructive action than hitting you. Almost throwing a chair in your bedroom is not good tho.

You owe it to yourself and to him and to the rest of the family to understand him better. Wait a couple of days to let the situation calm down. Don't look for your your laptop just yet. Wait for the right moment when he's relaxed, and isn't in a hurry, then ask if you can have a chat with him.

See if you can ask him what was that all about? Say that you understood he was really angry, but you didn't understand the reason why - could he tell you more?

For the love of god, in this conversation, don't twist his words or jump on any mistakes he makes. Try to understand what he's really saying, not the actual words themselves. If you have a point to make, say it once, then shut up like a man, and give him time to think about his response.

That'll maximise your chances of getting it back early.

I hope some of the advice from the other posters will help you.

One other thing - constructive arguing can be valuable, and can help bring out underlying reasons and help people to be honest in their passions and emotions, but it takes skill to avoid it going negative or bitter or picky.

Try not to go round in circles, try not to bring up the past. Talk honestly about your own feelings, emotions and behaviour e.g. "When you picked up that chair, I felt sad and scared" is good. If you feel up to it, you could ask him about his emotions, but do it in a friendly, polite way, not in a picky way.

Don't talk about character e.g "You're a violent chair-wielding maniac and don't call me a scummy sneaking kid who made my sister lie" is NOT good. "You always over-react" isn't a good thing for you to say either.

[Coheebuzz]

To all that said parents have the right to hit because they pay - be sure to ask your boss for a nice ass-whooping first thing Monday morning.

Hummer, tell your grandfather to take away his car ;)

Never hit your kids guys, each time i was hit i lost respect and gained fear. Don't you guys remember how you felt when you were hit? Did you like it? Has it helped? Am sure not. But you do it, cause they did it to you.

Other than my fathers 5 min outbursts and uncontrollable chaos in the house, he was a perfect, god-send father.

Today, am 26 and i hurts to say that i have never managed to have a father-son chat for more than 30 secs. We keep trying though.

[adroit]

To all that said parents have the right to hit because they pay - be sure to ask your boss for a nice ass-whooping first thing Monday morning.

Hummer, tell your grandfather to take away his car ;)

Never hit your kids guys, each time i was hit i lost respect and gained fear. Don't you guys remember how you felt when you were hit? Did you like it? Has it helped? Am sure not. But you do it, cause they did it to you.


People who think this way are the reason Mauri Povich and Jerry Springer have a steady stream of out of control kids to parade across the stage. :mad:

[Coheebuzz]

People who think this way are the reason Mauri Povich and Jerry Springer have a steady stream of out of control kids to parade across the stage. :mad:

Nope, the reason is over abusive parents.

[Killyp]

I'm sure those kids wouldn't be on Jerry Springer etc... if their parents had hit them more...


Those kids have probably NEVER seen any respect in their entire lives. How would you feel if you were treated by your employee in the way you're saying children should be treated?

[Nuc]

What happened to the days of taking a belt to your child when their being little bastards? Seriously.
Now that made me laugh. Funniest thing I've heard all day.

I have to agree with you but sometimes spanking doesn't work. Take for instance me, my parents and siblings told me that I got more spankings than my brother and sister combined. Spankings didn't work for me but grounding me and making me stay in my room was more effective. I don't have anything against spanking my kids but if it doesn't work then I'll have to find something that works better such as grounding or taking there stuff away...

Nuc

[NWAMacTech]

Let's just say I know my way around the internet enough to make money from it.


Obviously :rolleyes:

Remember, you are the one who thinks you can find out where a laptop that is in sleep mode or off can be found, thru wifi or listening for a fan.

[Coheebuzz]

I'm sure those kids wouldn't be on Jerry Springer etc... if their parents had hit them more...


Those kids have probably NEVER seen any respect in their entire lives. How would you feel if you were treated by your employee in the way you're saying children should be treated?

Well i don't watch Jerry Springer so i don't know exactly what cases you are talking about. Hitting is not a way to gain respect. Never.

My employee should do what i ask within his job description. Nothing more and nothing less. I pay him, we're both happy. It's a 2 way thing as it is with kids.

Just tell me 1 good thing that i will gain in my relation with my kids, if i i don't respect and am unreasonable to them? Really, how does that lead to respect?. If i ask them to do something 'just because' then i expect them to go out and do the same. Great parent lesson, isn't it?

I have no respect for people who use violence to gain anything - it's plain simple bullying. We all have our opinions, and this is something am pretty sensitive with. Am not a parent yet and am sure things will change when i become one, but i don't want my kids to have the same bad memories as i have - a few but still painful to this day.

[TheMonarch]

Kids are too spoilt these days, yelling back and saying horrible things to their parents.

There's nothing wrong with a little physical incentive sometimes.


When I was little, when I did something disrespectful, I got the belt. And guess what? I didn't to that again. Funny how that works :rolleyes:

I still love and respect my parents.

[LethalWolfe]

My employee should do what i ask within his job description. Nothing more and nothing less. I pay him, we're both happy. It's a 2 way thing as it is with kids.


So you expect a kid (a toddler for example) to do exactly what you say just because you say it? Oh, that's rich.

As soon as you successfully use a rational, logical discussion to turn a kid going thru the terrible two's into an angel be sure to market your services 'cause you'll be a millionaire in less than a year.

I wouldn't work for an employer that sat people in "time out" but that doesn't mean using "time out" for kids is inappropriate. The employee/employer relationship is a bit different than the parent/child relationship.

I have nothing against reasonable corporal punishment (ex. a spanking) being used as a last resort.


Lethal

[Coheebuzz]

Kids are too spoilt these days, yelling back and saying horrible things to their parents.

There's nothing wrong with a little physical incentive sometimes.


When I was little, when I did something disrespectful, I got the belt. And guess what? I didn't to that again. Funny how that works :rolleyes:

I still love and respect my parents.

I got the punch, funny how that broke my nose. Then i got the belt. And no it never worked for me. No hard feelings of course, he apologised ;)

The thing is that many parents don't invest time with their kids and try to learn their personalities - they don't seem to want to. Some kids will react to some kind of punishment, others will not. But resorting to extremes like hitting should be done only in extreme cases, not when i kid is acting like a kid. You want your kid to behave like an adult, treat him as one.

[Hummer]

Obviously :rolleyes:

Remember, you are the one who thinks you can find out where a laptop that is in sleep mode or off can be found, thru wifi or listening for a fan.

I would think that some electronic device with bluetooth on discoverable and wifi would put out some kind of transmition despite "sleeping".

[Timepass]

I think physical punishment works on depending on how it is done. I dont believe in the belt but an open palm to the rear end works pretty well one or 2 and not used to fofen . At most it stings a little but that passes in a min. It more gets a message accross very clearly that the kid is misbehaving.

Also punishment needs to fit the age. Physcal punishments works better on little kids because they dont have the mental ablility to understand what they did wrong as well. But they can relate things to being bad. They are like dogs. really no point to punish them unless you cought them in the act.

Also the punishments have to fit the kids. My brother sister and I where all handled in very different ways punishment wise. My mom general handled it. She learn which way of punishing us was the most effective. For me it was grounding and takign away things. My brother she had some trouble with figuring out but she learn what was imporant to him and would take that away (that be privages or items). My sister never really had that punishments like that because just having my mom disapointed in her is enough of a punishment and works very well. My parents learned what punishment was the most effective on each kid.
As you grow older punishments change now for my parents and I it on a different leval and my parents more offer advice (weither or not I want to listen to it) but they know my brother and I crossed the line to where our choices are our own. We still have to play by their rules since it is mostly their money we are spending.

From what I gathering base on what you are saying and my own experince is the trouble started with something you said that was disrepective. In text you idea may be sound good on how to deal with you sister but I have a very strong feeling that something in you tone was rude (I know this because I done it many times over. Mostly when I first woken up.)

Right now you are a teenager and hate to tell you this but you are acting like your typical HS freshman/Soph. Very selfcentered and thinks the world revolves around them.

As for you punishment you dad may of overreacted a little. But you made it worse by trying to get it back and going around his back. Your mom is not going to tell you if she disagrees with your dad or at least she shouldnt. She should support him in frount of you. Now at night priveltly they may talk about it but not going to tell you that they disagree. It was only after I went off ot college that I learn about my mom and dads disgreements and they both are moring willing to tell me there own personal opinan but we are also close to equals. They are still above me and always will be. But I also treated as an adult.

Things get better and later in life you will look back on this and understand. Right now you dont understand what you did wrong. What you need to do is calming talk with you parents about it. Get there side and try to see it from there view.

From what I gathering is something was bothering you dad that morning and was stressed. Your behavior was what set him off. He was stressed out. You learn to read when you parents are stressed. Trust me they can read you like a book. My mom scares me in that way. She knows when something is bothering me and knows if she can question me about it. She understand me very well. same as my dad (with a little help from my mom) and knows that some time what I need is there attention or just a little thing but know better than to ask what bothering me but that I need to get my mind off of it and that what they do.

Things to rememeber.

You parents both love you very much and do want the best for you. If you dont believe that now you will later in life and truely undersand it. I used to think that they didnt always do that but as I grown older I see how they love me. Also they are happy when they see my accoplition something I am proud of.
Trust me as you grow older things like this will be vage memories in your past and not imporant. You will learn more from it and see how it shape you.

Also you may not agree with you dad now. heck in a lot of ways I didnt agree with my dad when I was 15 or respect him as much as I do now. But over the past 6 or so years it grown to be he is one of the people I look up to and respect the most. Reason being is I started to be able to understand him as I grew older and I could think more on his leval. He has trouble thinking on the level I was thing. I was to far below him in mental ablitlies for him to relate very well or things I stuggled with I share the same flaw where I struggle relating with some one to far below me. I jsut cannt think on that level. It a curse. I wouldnt be suprise in some ways that you dad stuggles in the same way being able to relate with you.

Sorry to say but 15 years old are very differnet and it hard for any one not in that age range to relate with. College kids maybe or at least they will listen to them. But it still hard for even us to relate with you all because you are all so different from us. Go down the 11-12 years old and below. easy to relate with. 13-16 hard has hell to relate with 17 and up easy to relate with. You are in that age range that people just have trouble relating with and hate to say it jackasses who are mostly very selfcentered.

[Coheebuzz]

So you expect a kid (a toddler for example) to do exactly what you say just because you say it? Oh, that's rich.

As soon as you successfully use a rational, logical discussion to turn a kid going thru the terrible two's into an angel be sure to market your services 'cause you'll be a millionaire in less than a year.

I wouldn't work for an employer that sat people in "time out" but that doesn't mean using "time out" for kids is inappropriate. The employee/employer relationship is a bit different than the parent/child relationship.

I have nothing against reasonable corporal punishment (ex. a spanking) being used as a last resort.


Lethal

Of course you can't have a chat with a toddler - and i can't imagine hitiing one :confused: . And i only mentioned the employer/employer analogy replying to Killyp who mentioned it first.

Agree on using *reasonable* punishment and use spanking as a last resort but only when everything else fails.

[Timepass]

I got the punch, funny how that broke my nose. Then i got the belt. And no it never worked for me. No hard feelings of course, he apologised ;)

The thing is that many parents don't invest time with their kids and try to learn their personalities - they don't seem to want to. Some kids will react to some kind of punishment, others will not. But resorting to extremes like hitting should be done only in extreme cases, not when i kid is acting like a kid. You want your kid to behave like an adult, treat him as one.


I think you got it. each kid is different. Best way to punish is to go with the most effect meathod for having the kid learn the lesson. Physical being one of the later ones to go to. Normally just the open palm will get a message across really clearly. (that is you are doing wrong and the person who you look to for proctection thinks you are doing wrong) I go with the quick swat personally. It doesnt hurt just delivers a clear message. But also who it works on depends on the kid. For some it over board and emotionally it hurts. Other it very effective. Depends on the kid and every kid is different.

[NWAMacTech]

I would think that some electronic device with bluetooth on discoverable and wifi would put out some kind of transmition despite "sleeping".



no, they dont.

[TheAnswer]

When I was little, when I did something disrespectful, I got the belt. And guess what? I didn't to that again. Funny how that works :rolleyes:

The thing is in this situation, he got the belt and said it didn't effect him (although maybe he just internalized it and it will come out in weird ways once he starts dating or having children). So in this case it's clearly not effective.

Physical violence as a means to control the behavior of children is general used once the parents fear they have lost control of the situation. This could be because other styles of punishment have been subverted or ineffective. (they are usually ineffective because the child sees them just as a punishment and not a punishment for a specific behavior, some parents have the worst habit of just laying down the punishment and not explaining why it is happening and how to prevent it again). Especially as male children grow older, parents tend to get more physical since they physically fear their child (i.e. hit him while I still can without getting hurt).

I'm not saying physical violence is never right, just that it doesn't work unless the child sees the connection between the violence and his/her actions. It also doesn't work if the children are psychologically mature enough to internalize it (which will usually just screw them up later). I personally believe that anything that is not parent's hand-to-child's skin contact (either a child's hands or backside) on a child of less than say 12 is probably ineffective for both parent and child in the long run.

[TheMonarch]

I got the punch, funny how that broke my nose. Then i got the belt. And no it never worked for me. No hard feelings of course, he apologised ;)

The thing is that many parents don't invest time with their kids and try to learn their personalities - they don't seem to want to. Some kids will react to some kind of punishment, others will not. But resorting to extremes like hitting should be done only in extreme cases, not when i kid is acting like a kid. You want your kid to behave like an adult, treat him as one.


I'm not advocating to use violence instead of talking to children, on the contrary. But I do think that violence can have its place if parents deem necessary.

My parents did devote time and effort towards me, I wasn't in constant fear of The belt™, and It didn't happen every time I goofed up. But when when the "stop" and "what did I tell you?!" wasn't enough, then belt eventually got me to listen.

[Chundles]

Where is it? Looking....looking....ah ha! There it is!
http://img82.imageshack.us/img82/5091/manatee2le5.jpg

[yg17]

Where is it? Looking....looking....ah ha! There it is!
http://img82.imageshack.us/img82/5091/manatee2le5.jpg


[/thread]

[Excursions]

Wait. Let me get this straight. There are parents and adults in this thread who believe that the OPs father administered a proper punishment for the OPs mistake? Now I am taking the OP at his word for everything but apparently his father not only physically beat him with a belt but also appropriated his expensive laptop that he worked hard to be able to afford. First of all, beating a 15 year old with a belt for not doing what he was asked to do, especially when it was something so trivial as coming to a tennis lesson, is never the correct punishment. Then after violently releasing his temper, he takes his son’s laptop, which does not belong to him. True his son is only able to afford this luxury because he does not have to pay for normal living expenses, but is this still a proper punishment? Wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to do something like cut off his internet access, which clearly seems like it would have had even more of an effect on the OP than the loss of use of his laptop? Taking away the internet would be a better punishment because it shows that if he does not accommodate his fathers wishes, he will not be able to enjoy the luxuries that his father provides. Where as taking away his laptop is something that a bully would do, it is rather childish. The only reason that people have said that he has the authority to take away his laptop is because he is his father, because he can. Or what? He will kick his son out on the street? Doesn’t that sound like blackmail? I am taking your laptop or else you can’t live here anymore! Don’t work hard to earn money because I am just going to take it when you don’t do as your told! This punishment is not teaching his son anything. Overall, it is clear that his father made a mistake with his punishments and it is also clear that the OP made a mistake by not doing what he was asked. Hummer you should have just done what your father asked because he asked you to do so, he wanted you to come to the tennis lesson and you should have respected his wishes even if you had a solution that was just as good.

[Timepass]

you know he oringal question on finding it with some wireless device has never been answered. Figure I answer it now.

No you will not be able to find it.
chance are the computer is off so it not going to be transmitting or log into any router.
2nd off based on your question you dont know how to access or read the log files on the router itself. Which means even if you did know what table to look in you wouldnt understand the infomation on it to tell if you computer access the router in the past 24 hours.

Plus chance are really good that you computer not even been on to access the router. ANd that is assuming it is in the house.

And to answer you question yes I know where and how to read linksy log files. what the infomation means. Just on pincipal here means any help gaining access and understanding it I will not do for you are trying to go around your one parents. It is a punishment suck it up and deal.

[Timepass]

Wait. Let me get this straight. There are parents and adults in this thread who believe that the OPs father administered a proper punishment for the OPs mistake? Now I am taking the OP at his word for everything but apparently his father not only physically beat him with a belt but also appropriated his expensive laptop that he worked hard to be able to afford. First of all, beating a 15 year old with a belt for not doing what he was asked to do, especially when it was something so trivial as coming to a tennis lesson, is never the correct punishment. Then after violently releasing his temper, he takes his son’s laptop, which does not belong to him. True his son is only able to afford this luxury because he does not have to pay for normal living expenses, but is this still a proper punishment? Wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to do something like cut off his internet access, which clearly seems like it would have had even more of an effect on the OP than the loss of use of his laptop? Taking away the internet would be a better punishment because it shows that if he does not accommodate his fathers wishes, he will not be able to enjoy the luxuries that his father provides. Where as taking away his laptop is something that a bully would do, it is rather childish. The only reason that people have said that he has the authority to take away his laptop is because he is his father, because he can. Or what? He will kick his son out on the street? Doesn’t that sound like blackmail? I am taking your laptop or else you can’t live here anymore! Don’t work hard to earn money because I am just going to take it when you don’t do as your told! This punishment is not teaching his son anything. Overall, it is clear that his father made a mistake with his punishments and it is also clear that the OP made a mistake by not doing what he was asked. Hummer you should have just done what your father asked because he asked you to do so, he wanted you to come to the tennis lesson and you should have respected his wishes even if you had a solution that was just as good.


you have a lot to learn. Parents are supposed to displine there kids. Heck my parents took away my car keys more than once. I paid for everything on the car but they still had the right to do it I live under there roof they make the rules. They are there to bring me up right.

We have stated time and time again Hummer has yet to even try to figure out what he did wrong.

Also I think taking the laptop was a very effective punishment. Take what imporant to the kid and he get the message across. Plus cutting off internet access is really pretty hard to do. Way to many ways around it. Taking away the laptop. now that one stings and hurts more than enything else.

[macgeek2005]

Well, I made my dad mad (long story, stupid issue) and he takes my iBook away.

I found it once and let my sister use it hoping she would keep it in a spot that I would know where it was to know it would be safe. She rats me out that I found it and let her use it:mad:.

So this morning I'm "sleep" and I hear my dad going to take it from the spot that my sister put it because she tells him where it's at. He hides it somewhere else.

I'm wondering if it is possible for me to find it with my Linksys WiFi router. Even if it could just show that it's in the house or within the area of the router. Or. Even though it's sleep, is there anyway I can get it to make noise or something.
Just ANYTHING so I can know it's in the house.

Right now I'm running my tower which is running ubuntu and compared to OS X, ubuntu sucks ass times 26544767654.

What? I don't understand at all. What exactly did you do?

[Electro Funk]

my guess is that its in the trunk of his car....

but if i were you i would leave well enough alone...

you will get it back when he is ready to give it too you....

my mother used to beat me with a rolling pin, wooden spoon, and an ivory brush :eek: damn that rolling pin used to hurt like hell!

[Excursions]

you have a lot to learn. Parents are supposed to displine there kids. Heck my parents took away my car keys more than once. I paid for everything on the car but they still had the right to do it I live under there roof they make the rules. They are there to bring me up right.

We have stated time and time again Hummer has yet to even try to figure out what he did wrong.

Also I think taking the laptop was a very effective punishment. Take what imporant to the kid and he get the message across. Plus cutting off internet access is really pretty hard to do. Way to many ways around it. Taking away the laptop. now that one stings and hurts more than enything else.
Maybe you didn't understand me clearly, apparently you have a lot to learn about comprehension. I said that he should have been disciplined. I just said that his father made the wrong choice in his punishment. At least your parents didn't beat you.

[Timepass]

Maybe you didn't understand me clearly, apparently you have a lot to learn about comprehension. I said that he should have been disciplined. I just said that his father made the wrong choice in his punishment. At least your parents didn't beat you.


well think about it this way what could they take away from him that is just as imporanted. Also legelly speaking the laptop belongs to the parents not the kid. The kid can co own it but it not compeletly theres.

It all with contracts and stuff and under the age of 18 you just dont have that right and can not own it. If creitor needed money from the parents for example the laptop is not protected because it techoclly the parents. Also no one under the age of 18 can own a bank account only in there name due to contract laws (have to be 18 to sign for them other wise it goes with teh parents)

Now when you hit 18 that laptop will be legelly yours but right now they are co owners and have all the legel rights over it. sucks dont it.

Also I think it was a very effect punishment. It appently did it job and effect the kid. Now it more just him getting it htough is head what he did wrong.

[Killyp]

Just affecting someone isn't the right way to do it.

All it's done is make Hummer more angry, not make him realise that he was wrong (which he's claiming he isn't, and I have no good reason not to believe him). Now maybe if his dad had shown him some respect and treated him like another person (do you think his dad treats his work mates like that?), then none of this would happen.


Also, ages ago someone said that Kids are too badly behaved today. Excuse me? Are you saying that I, as someone who has to go into school 5 days of a week and experience people throwing chairs at the teacher and sexually assaulting people (yes that happens often here) should be punished?

Are you saying that what Hummer did was bad enough for a beating? None of us really know what Hummer did actually say so we have NO way of saying what his parents should have done. IMO, there is no good way to justify a beating. If you have done something that bad, then the police should be involved. I admit that there are many incredibly badly behaved people around, and they do need to be taught a lesson. But bringing them all in and giving them a spanking each isn't going to do any good...

[solvs]

I remember when my Niece was a toddler and acting up. My Sister gave her a light slap on the hand to stop her from doing something. She hauled up and smacked her as hard as a toddler can and yelled "no hitting". I thought that was kinda funny, but mostly because it wasn't my kid. I see some holy terror in the grocery store and think some kids need to be disciplined, but I see some kids who are often punished for no little or no reason far beyond what they deserve, so there's got to be a balance.

No, you won't be able to find the laptop that way. Yes your Father overreacted. Not that it's any consolation, but at least he didn't beat you up. Especially for something so minuscule. Yes, you should have just listened to him. Yes, you should apologize even though you really shouldn't have to. Yes, you'll get your laptop back eventually and I'm sure it'll be fine. If not, don't get angry, get mopey. Dads don't know how to deal with that IME.

[mikes63737]

Did you get it back yet??

I have to agree with the people that said your father overreacted, the beating and the chair things were completely uncalled for, but you made it worse by finding it. If you didn't find it, you could have had it back days ago.

But, I think that the people who said that it's OK to physically punish a child (ex. hitting) are wrong. By saying that, you are saying that if you can legally hit a child, then the child can legally hit you, because of that "everyone is equal before the law" stuff.

While you say it's your own laptop that you payed for... who paid for the power that you charged your battery with? Probably your parents. Who pays for your Internet? Probably your parents again. So, the power and the Internet are theirs, they're just letting you use it.

And, you just have to deal with your parents for now. Yeah, some of the things they do are really retarted, but in a few years (after college) you can get your own place and make your own rules.

Oh, ya, and if he took it away while it was sleeping, chances are it's dead by now. If it's off, then it's off, so... it doesn't help any more than if it was dead.

Hope you get it back... in the same condition that he took it from you in.

[lexus]

Did you get back the computer?

[Hummer]

I found it and once again, I let my sister use it. This time he let her use it just as long as I don't use it. I do know where it is and I haven't touched it (for all you people who had trouble believing I wouldn't use it). I haven't talked to him since the day I made this thread. I don't plan on talking to him either even if he does give the ibook back.

I replaced my linux box with windows xp because I was tired of linux. I think I can deal with this until I get a new ibook or macbook.

[skunk]

Jesus, raising kids in the States sounds like a very violent business.

[ChrisBrightwell]

I I don't plan on talking to him either even if he does give the ibook back. How ... mature. :rolleyes:

[Sathos]

I haven't talked to him since the day I made this thread. I don't plan on talking to him either even if he does give the ibook back.


Ok... it's just a computer, and you have another computer that you can use while it's gone. He's probably waiting until you act like an adult and talk to him to give it back anyways.

[yg17]

I found it and once again, I let my sister use it. This time he let her use it just as long as I don't use it. I do know where it is and I haven't touched it (for all you people who had trouble believing I wouldn't use it). I haven't talked to him since the day I made this thread. I don't plan on talking to him either even if he does give the ibook back.

I replaced my linux box with windows xp because I was tired of linux. I think I can deal with this until I get a new ibook or macbook.


If I was your dad, I'd be putting your iBook up on eBay because of your sneaky, immature attitude. First of all, you shouldn't have been hunting around the house looking for it anyways. Second, you're snotty attitude of "I won't ever talk to him again" is very rude and immature. Personally, I applaud your dad for taking this sort of action and hope he does whatever it takes to make you stop acting like a spoiled, whiny, immature little brat.

[MacNut]

Ok did you buy the iBook or did your father buy it for you, If it came out of your fathers pocket he has a right to hold on to it, If you paid for it you have a right to fight for it. As for kids having rights, until you either turn 18 or move out parents have all the power.

I blame the MTV for the kids of today, they think they can do no wrong.

[Queso]

Ok did you buy the iBook or did your father buy it for you, If it came out of your fathers pocket he has a right to hold on to it, If you paid for it you have a right to fight for it.
Until he's 18 all his property belongs to his parents under the law. That's the same law we all grew up with. Acting like a man rather than a boy is the only way to resolve this. No point waiting three long silent years to get the iBook back is there?

[e²Studios]

If I was your dad, I'd be putting your iBook up on eBay because of your sneaky, immature attitude. First of all, you shouldn't have been hunting around the house looking for it anyways. Second, you're snotty attitude of "I won't ever talk to him again" is very rude and immature. Personally, I applaud your dad for taking this sort of action and hope he does whatever it takes to make you stop acting like a spoiled, whiny, immature little brat.


*claps* this is by far the best statement made in this thread in a while. Kudos yg

Ed

[pianoman]

The initial post was on July 18. Today is August 1 (where I am). That means your attempts to locate the notebook or remedy the situation with your father have gone on unsuccessfully for over two weeks. Or, you did remedy the situation and didn't tell anyone here. Either way, there's nothing we can do to help you. There's no way to tell where the iBook is. I'd get comfortable using the ubuntu tower.

[imacintel]

Disclaimer: angry and judgmental rant follows. I don't mean to offend anyone, but what I've seen in this thread shocks and saddens me. My comments are not directed at any one person.


It just stuns me that people in this day and age can still think that hitting children is acceptable. They're not just "kids," they're people. Think about how you'd feel if someone bigger and stronger with total power over you hit you every time you did something wrong. Sound like fun? Sound like a good way to engender love and respect? Thugs and bullys throughout history have known that enough physical violence can make people behave.

If that's the only way you can make your child understand you, then you really need to work on your parenting skills. And before you ask, no I don't have children yet, but I've taken care of children plenty of times and wasn't a child so long ago myself.

My parents are both wonderful, loving, people. My two brothers and I were raised without being hit. None of us has ever been in trouble with the law, was ever suspended from school, or ever had discipline problems with any authority figure that didn't deserve it. The vast majority of my friends were raised without being hit and they turned out the same. Kids can understand and respond to an awful lot.

Put hitting aside for a moment. Parents are not always right. Sometimes they're arbitrary and mean for no reason. Sometimes they're just bastards in general; there are a lot of bastards out there, and unfortunately, sometimes they reproduce. To assume that a parent is always right, just because they're the adult, is the height of ignorance and arrogance. Children are people too. Smaller, not as developed mentally or physically, but people. Yes, sometimes a parent has to put his or her foot down, but that doesn't mean that you lash out physically or stop treating your child like a person. You want your children to treat you with respect? Try treating them with some.

As to the specifics of this situation, I don't know. From what the OP has said, it sounds like his dad lost his cool for no real reason. He not only took the ibook, but also beat the OP with a belt. For... what, exactly? Not getting ready fast enough? If any adult behaved like that towards another adult, we'd all agree that he had serious anger management issues and was a real danger. But because the victim is a child, the great majority of you seem to think the father is justified.

Of course, we are only hearing the OP's side of it. I don't know what the OP's father would say. Nothing could justify beating his son with a belt, but maybe taking the ibook was reasonable. I don't know. What I do know is that this is a complex situation between two people, and can't be resolved as easily as "he's right because he's your father."

Ultimately, of course, those of you who say that the father has authority are right. Both physically and legally, he is in control. It's a shame that he can't control his temper, but such is life. So my advice to you, Hummer, is to try to learn to see his blow-ups coming and avoid them. Not because he's necessarily right (tho he may be), but because it will make your life a whole lot easier.

This is the absolute best post in the thread. Children are people too, it may of been acceptabloe in the 50s to hit kids, but not in this day and age.

[solvs]

Ok did you buy the iBook or did your father buy it for you
He mentioned several posts ago that he bought it with his own money.

[Timepass]

He mentioned several posts ago that he bought it with his own money.


but it does bring into quetion how he got that money. And because of his age legely he cannt own it and it would of have had to go though his parents. In the US is is agaist the law for any place ot let you work under the age of at 15 (and very heavy restristion at age 15 as well). Even if he had a good paying job (7.25 an hour very unlikely) and working the max 20 hours a week (another very unlikely thing to happen) you still looking at over about 3 months worth or work after you adjust for taxes and what not to get it.

And even then to work it only by the grace of the parents allowing it. Any other money is under the table or though the parents giving it to him for doing job around the house. Other stuff is more illege under US law (techaclly) Falls under the area of gift which again belongs to the parents if they so see fit so yet again it comes down to techocolly the parents do own the ibook not the kid.

[baby duck monge]

but it does bring into quetion how he got that money. And because of his age legely he cannt own it and it would of have had to go though his parents. In the US is is agaist the law for any place ot let you work under the age of at 15 (and very heavy restristion at age 15 as well). Even if he had a good paying job (7.25 an hour very unlikely) and working the max 20 hours a week (another very unlikely thing to happen) you still looking at over about 3 months worth or work after you adjust for taxes and what not to get it.

And even then to work it only by the grace of the parents allowing it. Any other money is under the table or though the parents giving it to him for doing job around the house. Other stuff is more illege under US law (techaclly) Falls under the area of gift which again belongs to the parents if they so see fit so yet again it comes down to techocolly the parents do own the ibook not the kid.

He made some vague allusion to some manner of making money on the internet. It sounded pretty shady, but I'm not going to insist that there's anything illicit going on there.

Also, he said the iBook was found he just can't use it. Also, he's not talking to his father anymore, so I doubt there will be any under-the-table gifts.

[Hummer]

but it does bring into quetion how he got that money. And because of his age legely he cannt own it and it would of have had to go though his parents. In the US is is agaist the law for any place ot let you work under the age of at 15 (and very heavy restristion at age 15 as well). Even if he had a good paying job (7.25 an hour very unlikely) and working the max 20 hours a week (another very unlikely thing to happen) you still looking at over about 3 months worth or work after you adjust for taxes and what not to get it.


Here in New York I can make a couple hundred bucks a week, cash, handing out flyers for stores. Also, if you go downtown where the trucks unload you can make an easy 75 bucks from a trucker who is too lazy to unload his truck himself.

As for what I do on the internet is buy, sell, and park domain names.

Anyways I have the laptop back. My dad apologized to me, he realized my way did work. I apologized to him for rebelling. Problem solved.

[solvs]

My dad apologized to me, he realized my way did work. I apologized to him for rebelling. Problem solved.
For those of us actually paying attention to understand both sides, happy to hear cooler heads prevailed.

I still expect people to argue about how much of an ogre your Dad is for being human and how much of a spoiled brat you are for being a frustrated teenager. ;)

[Queso]

Anyways I have the laptop back. My dad apologized to me, he realized my way did work. I apologized to him for rebelling. Problem solved.
Finally, a bit of common sense. Well done. Much better this way, yes?

[groovebuster]

The way to get people to respect you is to respect them.
This equation is a little bit too simple. It doesn't always work. Get a little bit older and you will find out about how treating somebody with respect is no guarantee that the other person is treating you with respect as well.

So what is your solution when you are treating somebody with respect but the other side is not willing to do the same for you? I would really like to hear about your concept of how a difficult situation might be dealed with then...???

What you are saying is, that you actually can not respect a person that does not respect you. And that just shows (sorry) how immature this point of view is. So who is the one who has to show respect first then? Following your logic two people could never respect each other, if nobody is doing the first step.

Also in general punishment doesn't mean that you don't have respect for the person you are punishing. These two things are not directly related to each other. If you are doing something wrong in life, it has consequences. But some consequences only occur on the long run. As an adult you (normally) have the life experience to also consider these 'far away' consequences. As a kid or a teenager you lack this abbility and it doesn't influence much decissions if you are doing something or not, which makes it very difficult to differentiate between good or bad. This is the core of what upbringing of kids is about: to make them understand what is good and bad for them and their environment (also on the long run), not to act like an egocentric little ass-hole. Of course you could say that the kids should find out about the consequences themselves, but many wrong things kids are doing influence the rest of their lifes and it is the responsibility of the parents to protect their kids from any harm caused by an immature and short-sighted action.

One day you will be maybe a parent yourself and you will be surprised how little of your concept about 'earning respect' atually works in the real world.

groovebuster

[stonyc]

Anyways I have the laptop back. My dad apologized to me, he realized my way did work. I apologized to him for rebelling. Problem solved.Took both of you awhile didn't it... :) I'm glad everything seems to have worked out for you both.

[amin]

Hummer and Killyp,
I think you both have it wrong. Parents shouldn't have to gain their children's respect by giving respect. Children should be obedient and humble before their parents. If a parent gives an order, a 15 yo does not have the right to keep discussing it. Of course you disagree. This thread reminds me not to spoil my young children.

[whooleytoo]

Anyways I have the laptop back. My dad apologized to me, he realized my way did work. I apologized to him for rebelling. Problem solved.

Good - sounds like a healthy, mature solution on both your parts! :)