It's Official: Humans taste like Pork

[Abstract]

http://blog.wired.com/tableofmalcontents/2006/11/robot_identifie.html

Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon
0903wbotjpg

Let the robot holocaust commence: robots think we taste like bacon.

Researchers at NEC System technologies and Mie University have designed the cute little guy to the right: a metal man gastronomist, "an electromechanical sommelier", capable of identifying wines, cheeses, meats and hors d'oeuvres. Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses...like "tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was."

But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot's omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto.

Absolutely horrifying. Like cows, once robots taste blood, their hunger for human flesh can never be satiated.


I knew it.

What kind of sauce goes best with human?

[Sun Baked]

Of course this will really inflame the middle east, and probably lead to the destruction of all Japanese two legged porkchops. :p

[pivo6]

Does that mean that humans aren't kosher?

[MacFan782040]

I will never eat another piece of bacon in the same way again.

[jsw]

Well, at least now I know why the A1 sauce (http://www.kraftfoods.com/a1/bn/c_sauces/) never seemed to go right with it.

[joepunk]

Maybe all this is part of the Cylon plan. Their Centurions start eating earthlings when they find earth.

[SMM]

Boy, I am glad that is settled...been keeping me awake at night wondering about it.

[Spaceman Spiff]

My mind was racing with ideas of HOW they'd know humans tasted like pork upon first reading the title of the thread. I must admit, robots were not included in my list of possibly scenarios.

[dmw007]

And here all along I thought that human tasted like chicken. :rolleyes: :D :)

[solvs]

Well I could have told you that.

[brikeh]

And here all along I thought that human tasted like chicken. :rolleyes: :D :)

I would have guessed chicken too actually. :rolleyes:

[spicyapple]

I severely limit consumption of pork, shellfish, and other "specialty" meats...
As my post in the Un-vegetarizing Myself thread a while back, thank goodness I stayed away from pork. I mean, what does it say when human and pig hearts are compatible?

[lexus]

I always thought we tasted like chicken.:rolleyes:

[lmalave]

Like about 500 years old.

When the Europeans brought pigs into what is now Mexico, the Aztecs (whichever ones were still alive) specifically remarked how pork tasted just like the human flesh that they used to eat.

P.S. Another factoid: the Aztecs also raised chiuauas for meat. So apparently they must be quite tasty. So next time you see a chiuaua, think of that succulent little morsel being spit-roasted like a lil' cornish hen :p

[mkrishnan]

Maybe all this is part of the Cylon plan. Their Centurions start eating earthlings when they find earth.

There are many copies. And they have a plan. To eat you!!!!! :eek: ;) :D

Isn't it on CSI where they always use pigs to simulate impacts of trauma on human tissue because their muscle tissue is similar to ours?

Psssh, my tail is cuter though. :D

[SilentPanda]

Oh


My


Goodness


http://www.thinkgeek.com/books/humor/7f9e/

[Abstract]

^^Shut up, you! Little do you know, but humans also taste like panda.


*licks lips*

[Queso]

Reading this has actually made me feel quite ill, and I don't even eat meat.

What's all that about? :confused:

[SilentPanda]

^^Shut up, you! Little do you know, but humans also taste like panda.


*licks lips*

I have reported you to the appropriate Chinese authorities.

Reading this has actually made me feel quite ill, and I don't even eat meat.

What's all that about? :confused:

Speaking of meat! For some reason when I see your avatar off to the side I always think that it's a cow (just the head) until I actually look at it... like... the baby penguin is the nose and the other penguins arm/head are the cows ears... weird.

[ziwi]

Kind of makes sense...I mean a pig eats slop and we as humans mostly eat slop and they say "you are what you eat"...;)

[Queso]

weird.
Weird indeed :D :D

If I blur my eyes I can sort of make out a cartoonish animal head, but it's still a penguin and chick the rest of the time.

BTW, they had this report on the BBC this morning that one of the wildlife camera team filming Planet Earth had rescued a trapped penguin chick, and that loads of people had complained that the film crews should never interfere with nature, only observe it. How heartless can people be? Would they standby and watch two puppies in a sack drown? No.

I got all mad at the TV :D

[Jaffa Cake]

How heartless can people be? Would they standby and watch two puppies in a sack drown?Don't go putting ideas in the TV exec's heads. Some programme commissioner would probably see Celebrity Sealclubbing as a ratings winner...

What kind of sauce goes best with human?It's a universally accepted fact that brown sauce is the condiment of choice for bacon butties, so I reckon it'd taste just as good in a person sarnie.

[Queso]

Don't go putting ideas in the TV exec's heads. Some programme commissioner would probably see Celebrity Sealclubbing as a ratings winner...
Brought to you by Birds Eye no doubt. After all, it's the seals that are depleting fish stocks :rolleyes:

It's a universally accepted fact that brown sauce is the condiment of choice for bacon butties, so I reckon it'd taste just as good in a person sarnie.
I'll wait for the Linda McCartney pretend version. Mmmmm, fake human :p

BTW, it does bring a new meaning to the word bushmeat :D

[bartelby]

I knew it.

What kind of sauce goes best with human?

Tabasco Habanero, of course!

[Blue Velvet]

Also known in parts of the South Pacific as Long Pig (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&as_qdr=all&q=+%22long+pig%22&btnG=Search)...

[thegreatluke]

Oh darn!

And I thought I could be both kosher and a cannibal!

I guess I'll have to give one of them up.

[Swarmlord]

Tabasco Habanero, of course!

Or Famous Dave's Devil Spit sauce.

[dmw007]

When the Europeans brought pigs into what is now Mexico, the Aztecs (whichever ones were still alive) specifically remarked how pork tasted just like the human flesh that they used to eat.


:eek: I guess that we must taste like pig then! :eek:

[Counterfit]

Does that mean that humans aren't kosher?

Well, we don't have hooves or chew our own cud (other people's cud, perhaps :D), so we weren't before either.

[thedude110]

Tasting robots. God. Capitlalism really is turning us into pigs.

[yellow]

Gosh, I LOVE bacon! Perhaps turning into a post-nuclear-holocaust cannibal won't be as bad as I thought.

[patrick0brien]

Damn!

Lost the bet...

[FoxyKaye]

Love to chat about this, but I'm having an old friend for dinner.

[patrick0brien]

Love to chat about this, but I'm having an old friend for dinner.

-FoxyKaye

With a chianti and fava beans..?

[Peterkro]

Also known in parts of the South Pacific as Long Pig (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&as_qdr=all&q=+%22long+pig%22&btnG=Search)...

In Papua New Guinea white people are referred to in pigeon english (local lingua franca) as "long pork".I misspent a year there a looong time ago.:)

[daze]

And here all along I thought that human tasted like chicken. :rolleyes: :D :)
And I for one thought that the taste was more like beef. :confused:

[mrkramer]

And I for one thought that the taste was more like beef. :confused:

Well now you know that you were wrong.
I'm not sure if this thread is more funny or if it is just strange.:rolleyes:

[dmw007]

Gosh, I LOVE bacon! Perhaps turning into a post-nuclear-holocaust cannibal won't be as bad as I thought.


Good point, there will certainly be plenty of good "food". ;) :eek: :D

[Sesshi]

Why is this such a surprise?

Pork flesh is not dissimilar to human flesh, especially the more corpulent examples.

[thewhitehart]

Also known in parts of the South Pacific as Long Pig (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&as_qdr=all&q=+%22long+pig%22&btnG=Search)...

Oh God, that is absolutely disgusting! That's got to be the only thing I've ever read that made me physicall sick. :D

[yellow]

It puts a whole new spin on the term "Pork Barrel Politics", no? <slurp>

[pink-pony115]

cannibals don't have it hard at all...

[topgunn]

P.S. Another factoid: the Aztecs also raised chiuauas for meat. So apparently they must be quite tasty. So next time you see a chiuaua, think of that succulent little morsel being spit-roasted like a lil' cornish hen :p
Yes, certain chiuauas were bred as a source of food. In fact, that is why we now have the Mexican Hairless breed. They were easier to clean (and I don't mean bath time).

[nem3015]

And here all along I thought that human tasted like chicken. :rolleyes: :D :)

No actually the ones that taste like chicken are snakes, tarantulas and some other animals that crawl and such... bipeds taste like pork but we should ask Hannibal Lecter better... don't trust those pesky robot sensors :D :cool:

[QuarterSwede]

Like about 500 years old.

When the Europeans brought pigs into what is now Mexico, the Aztecs (whichever ones were still alive) specifically remarked how pork tasted just like the human flesh that they used to eat.

P.S. Another factoid: the Aztecs also raised chiuauas for meat. So apparently they must be quite tasty. So next time you see a chiuaua, think of that succulent little morsel being spit-roasted like a lil' cornish hen :p
And now, thanks to you, I'll never be able to eat pork without thinking about this again (the Aztec evidence is a little bit more convincing than a sniffing robot). I'll probably throw up or gag next time I eat a pork chop.

[dmw007]

No actually the ones that taste like chicken are snakes, tarantulas and some other animals that crawl and such... bipeds taste like pork but we should ask Hannibal Lecter better... don't trust those pesky robot sensors :D :cool:


Good point, Hannibal Lecter would be a far better judge of the taste of human flesh than some robot. :D :)

[theBB]

It puts a whole new spin on the term "Pork Barrel Politics", no? <slurp>
Oh, everybody already knows those politicians are pigs.

[dmw007]

Oh, everybody already knows those politicians are pigs.


True, but now its confirmed that they actually taste like pigs. :D

[spicyapple]

Pigs are a gateway food to cannibalism.

http://gallery.townrebels.org/d/1716-2/PIG.jpg

[dmw007]

Pigs are a gateway food to cannibalism.


That pig is rather freaky looking! :eek: :D :cool:

[Garden Knowm]

Pigs are a gateway food to cannibalism.

http://gallery.townrebels.org/d/1716-2/PIG.jpg


Yooo.. Ms. APPLE..

congratulations on the VIDEO ADD.. I thought it was yummy...

I have some questions for you about the movement ...

Where can I e-mail you?

cheers

[ezekielrage_99]

^^Shut up, you! Little do you know, but humans also taste like panda.


*licks lips*

I love Kentucy Fried Panada it's fingerlingering good.....

I'm still surprised how there's little comments or references to Hannibal Lector or that Japanese cannibal Kawaga.



Hello Clarise....... (couldn't resist)

[ezekielrage_99]

Pigs are a gateway food to cannibalism.


I love bacon, so does this mean that if I am ever stuck on a desert island resorting to cannibalism wont be nearly as bad as I thought :confused:

[spicyapple]

I love bacon, so does this mean that if I am ever stuck on a desert island resorting to cannibalism wont be nearly as bad as I thought :confused:

:) I guess not.

But you really should ask the folks of the Donner Party, as they have more experience in this area of expertise. :D

[sushi]

And here all along I thought that human tasted like chicken. :rolleyes: :D :)
Me too! ;)

Will wonders never cease! :)

[wmmk]

Does that mean that humans aren't kosher?

ugh! Now I can't eat myself!

[Abstract]

I'm still surprised how there's little comments or references to Hannibal Lector or that Japanese cannibal Kawaga.




Don't know about him, but how about this guy.....Issei Sagawa - My confession (http://www.ratatak.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=9)

Photos (I'm warning you: If you didn't like the story and it freaked you out......this link takes you to some police crime scene photos) (http://www.ratatak.com/sagawa.htm)

[benthewraith]

Don't know about him, but how about this guy.....Issei Sagawa - My confession (http://www.ratatak.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=9)

Photos (I'm warning you: If you didn't like the story and it freaked you out......this link takes you to some police crime scene photos) (http://www.ratatak.com/sagawa.htm)

Hm, no thanks. I think I'll pass on that. Read about half a paragraph, and then decided not to read the rest....and have also decided not to look at the images.

[Grakkle]

Kind of makes sense...I mean a pig eats slop and we as humans mostly eat slop and they say "you are what you eat"...;)

I prefer organically raised antibiotic-free humans - so much leaner and tastier, and you know...you are what you eat!:D

I love bacon, so does this mean that if I am ever stuck on a desert island resorting to cannibalism wont be nearly as bad as I thought :confused:

Of course it won't! I suggest bringing a copy of the Donner Party Basic Recipes book.:p

[devilot]

Don't know about him, but how about this guy.....Issei Sagawa - My confession (http://www.ratatak.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=9)The photos didn't bother me that much... but the story did. :o My stomach is so queasy now. I thought I could hang, but... :(

[sushi]

The photos didn't bother me that much... but the story did. :o My stomach is so queasy now. I thought I could hang, but... :(
Finger licking good! ;)

His mind is definitely out there for sure.

When you want to read some really good stories let me know and I will give you some web sites to browse.

[Willis]

And here all along I thought that human tasted like chicken. :rolleyes: :D :)

I did too.. mainly because I've burnt my finger on a hotplate and the smell was of chicken..

ah well...

[Willis]

And here all along I thought that human tasted like chicken. :rolleyes: :D :)

Don't know about him, but how about this guy.....Issei Sagawa - My confession (http://www.ratatak.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=9)

Photos (I'm warning you: If you didn't like the story and it freaked you out......this link takes you to some police crime scene photos) (http://www.ratatak.com/sagawa.htm)

I found that quite interesting, more for the fact that he walks free because of a loophole!

[sushi]

I did too.. mainly because I've burnt my finger on a hotplate and the smell was of chicken..

ah well...
Burnt flesh as in skin, when you really burn it, smells disgusting but a bit sweet if you will.

[spicyapple]

Don't know about him, but how about this guy.....Issei Sagawa - My confession (http://www.ratatak.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=9)
Against my better judgement, I was reading that article while eating porridge and was feeling very nauseous. It may have been my morning run, but I felt like throwing up. Still kinda woozy.

I'm going to rest on the sofa now. :o

[Grakkle]

Against my better judgement, I was reading that article while eating porridge and was feeling very nauseous. It may have been my morning run, but I felt like throwing up. Still kinda woozy.

I'm going to rest on the sofa now. :o

Oh dear. I was lucky enough to read it after I finished my breakfast. What's the most disturbing is that the man is free, though.:mad:

[2nyRiggz]

Well I guess the robot might say I taste like a veggie burger since meat is not apart of my diet.


Bless

[ezekielrage_99]

Don't know about him, but how about this guy.....Issei Sagawa - My confession (http://www.ratatak.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=9)

Photos (I'm warning you: If you didn't like the story and it freaked you out......this link takes you to some police crime scene photos) (http://www.ratatak.com/sagawa.htm)

I totally forgot about Issei Sagawa, that guy made Hannible look tame....

[TequilaBoobs]

Last time I tasted human flesh it reminded me of veal... go figure!

[sushi]

Pigs are a gateway food to cannibalism.

http://gallery.townrebels.org/d/1716-2/PIG.jpg
For some reason, this picture is more disturbing to me than the Sagawa pictures! :eek:

[illstabyou]

Pigs are a gateway food to cannibalism.

http://gallery.townrebels.org/d/1716-2/PIG.jpg

I am so stealing that quote. :D

[dmw007]

I am so stealing that quote. :D


It would be great for a signature! :D :)

[floriflee]

All I know is that if I suck on my finger after I get a cut (I know, I know... germs), it tastes very metallic. Not that appealing so I guess that puts me off to trying to taste the rest of me.

[yellow]

Well technically that's becuase your blood is rich in iron.

[TequilaBoobs]

my blood tastes like raw filet mignon.

[yellow]

my blood tastes like raw filet mignon.

I kinda expected it to taste like tequila or breastmilk. Dunno why..

[floriflee]

Well technically that's becuase your blood is rich in iron.

I know, but if the blood is essentially travelling to every organ in my body I can only imagine how it's affecting how they would taste. Even if other animals' meats are iron-rich somehow it still just doesn't make my own meat seem any more appealing. :D

[daze]

Well now you know that you were wrong.
I'm not sure if this thread is more funny or if it is just strange.:rolleyes:
I don't know if I am wrong. Let me eat you and see. :p

[Sirus The Virus]

Wow, I'm just glad I don't eat pork. Meat in general is kinda gross.

[TequilaBoobs]

Wow, I'm just glad I don't eat pork. Meat in general is kinda gross.

i think vegetables are kinda gross.

[wdlove]

I have no desire at all to find out.

[psycoswimmer]

That's absolutely great to know. I just ate bacon this morning. Would it have tasted the same if I took a bite out of my arm? :o :p :eek:

[todd2000]

That's absolutely great to know. I just ate bacon this morning. Would it have tasted the same if I took a bite out of my arm? :o :p :eek:

Well you would have to cure, and smoke your arm first.... :)

[mrkramer]

I don't know if I am wrong. Let me eat you and see. :p

Sorry but I don't really want to be eaten right now, maybe later;) or you could try eating yourself:p

Pigs are a gateway food to cannibalism.


I think that I will be stealing that for a new sig soon.:)

[After G]

Makes sense when you think about it. At least I don't have to eat people to find out what it's like now.

So how do monkeys taste ... ? :eek: :D

This makes me have second thoughts about eating pork though.

[Sun Baked]

This makes me have second thoughts about eating pork though.Sort of makes me wonder about all those scented oils people baste themselves with when they lay out in the solar cooker.

Now you won't be able to think that some scents would go terrible with pork.

[Cult Follower]

Humans are more like pigs than I originally anticipated.:)

[n8mac]

Anybody remember the Sienfeld episode where Kramer basted himself with butter and tanned himself on the roof?:)
Newman saw Kramer as a roasted chicken. Oh if they only knew!

[®îçhå®?]

What kind of sauce goes best with human?

If we taste like pork then i would say Apple although i am partial to barbeque with everything

[princealfie]

Okay what does a Macbook taste like?

[phillipjfry]

Well I could have told you that.

LOL you stole my post word. for. word. :p :)

[solvs]

LOL you stole my post word. for. word. :p :)

If it makes you feel any better, we don't actually. If we did, alligators would eat us, because they love the taste of pork, but generally hate eating people. People actually taste more like salty chicken.

[phillipjfry]

If it makes you feel any better, we don't actually. If we did, alligators would eat us, because they love the taste of pork, but generally hate eating people. People actually taste more like salty chicken.

Swimming at the beach a lot, I heard from seasoned lifeguards that sharks typically only bite humans once, realize how bad they taste, and don't usually eat a whole human in one sitting.

[nateDEEZY]

My mind was racing with ideas of HOW they'd know humans tasted like pork upon first reading the title of the thread. I must admit, robots were not included in my list of possibly scenarios.

HAha, i was haaving that same thought!