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janitorC7
Nov 13, 2006, 12:41 AM
For thoes of you who have been so helpfull with my rebranding (and everybody else), what critique can you give me on my new card design???

Edit: sorry about the low quality on the image, MR's thing would only let me upload a file so big, and I just sacrifised the quality vs the size because I'm on a slow computer right now and I dont want to open my image editor



CanadaRAM
Nov 13, 2006, 12:49 AM
Not knocked out by carrying the font all the way through the rest of the text. I would reserve the font for the logo only. The reversed text (esp. gray against black) is hard enough to read as it is.

The name, phone, email seems really unbalanced in the space

What are the 2 dots after "more"? not an ellipsis, and they're below the baseline of the text...?


Didn't get into the rebranding thread at all, so I may be repeating stuff that was already discussed:

The creation of something in the mind... Wouldn't your clients rather receive something on paper or on the web? I don't get a gut level connection between the design definition and a benefit to me as a client.

Its all perspective... this again doesn't give me a positive as a client.

It's would be the correct contraction of it is. Its is the posessive.

dpaanlka
Nov 13, 2006, 12:59 AM
The Bauhaus 93 font is terrible for non-logotype text. What I mean is, do not use it for anything other than the text in your official logo, if you choose to use it at all.

I don't think that is the actual definition of design.

Where did yellow come from?

janitorC7
Nov 13, 2006, 01:01 AM
The Bauhaus 93 font is terrible for non-logotype text.

usually, I would agree with you...

But I like the futuristic look in this context...

dpaanlka
Nov 13, 2006, 01:23 AM
I think you aught to make that pac-man face smaller in relation to the "CEEK DESIGNS" text, as well as make the whole main logo a bit smaller to increase the black area to the top, left, and bottom of the pac-man thing.

Also, why are the two dots after "more" lower than the dots for web and print? And why only two dots?

Why do the diagonal lines extend through the bottom black bar, but they are not present in the top bar?

Blue Velvet
Nov 13, 2006, 02:36 AM
Just a sidenote to the design debate: the use of the word 'president' doesn't come across well at all... seriously.

The design? Frankly, a mess. Running down the page I see 7 varying alignments of text, at least four different sizes of different and unsuitable fonts. The yellow bands add nothing except grabbing attention for no good reason at all.

This work will not get you much work. I suggest starting from scratch with the word 'simplicity' written on a post-it note and stuck onto your monitor.

Sorry to be harsh, but design is not a field to mince words. Besides, I've just woken up. :D

dpaanlka
Nov 13, 2006, 02:58 AM
A bit off topic, but to the OP: The "coming soon" text of your web site does not appear until my window is stretched almost the entire width of my 1440 x 900 display.

tobefirst
Nov 13, 2006, 10:34 AM
Finish the logo first, then start on the collateral pieces. The business card, the letterhead, the envelope, the refrigerator magnet, the website, the clicky-pen, the static sticker, etc. should not define your logo. Your logo should define these pieces. The logo comes before the chicken and the egg.

fireball370
Nov 13, 2006, 11:44 AM
I'll have to agree with bluevelvet on this one. To add to the comment, i'd try to stay away from setting the type so close to the edge. it MAY get cut off when trimmed.

I'd also be careful about using gradients on business cards. Depending on how you're going to print these (at home/print shop), they might not turn out the way you want them.

the "pacman" logo. why is it repeated twice on the business card

type. i think someone already mentioned it, but I think you should save the bauhaus93 type for just the brand name. Try choosing another typeface for the contact info. Take a look at almost any major brand name - they generally use their "corporate font" for the logo, and another for body copy.

OK that's all for now. hope I helped a little. :)

LeviG
Nov 13, 2006, 11:56 AM
From my perspective (I do design for a living by the way), its

business card -
what does the business do, I personally feel the business card should have some, even if its very basic, definition to what the business does


website -
doesnt fit on my display cleanly, the text on the right looks like its going off the page.

Also I would never put up an incomplete website, but thats a personal thing.


In regards to the overall look. It has potential but it needs fine tuning but I think it has a very retro 60/70's disco vibe going which I'm not sure looks professional although it all depends on what the business designs

dogbone
Nov 13, 2006, 12:20 PM
My first instant reaction was 'I don't like it' for various reasons. Main reasons are that the I can't make sense of the logo, I don't know what the dot is and I can't easily find the 'C', and it looks badly designed in a sort of "let's throw it together and see what happens (maybe I'll get lucky)"kind of way.


BUT, after stepping back I find that the 'non design' of it grows on me and do like it in a zany wacky, off the wall kind of way. I also like the colours.

Howver, even though I have come to like it and I then ask myself "OK would I want this person to design something for me, I'd say, 'no'.

So the real question that you must ask yourself, is, 'will this card bring me work'. I don't know the answer to that but I suspect not.

vectormasked
Nov 13, 2006, 12:30 PM
A bit off topic, but to the OP: The "coming soon" text of your web site does not appear until my window is stretched almost the entire width of my 1440 x 900 display.


And one more thing about the site....
You used style sheets to set bauhaus as your primarily and only font! There's tons of people out there that don't have that font installed on their system. These people might get a times new roman or comic sans or whatever they have set as their default font. If you really want bauhaus there use images. If you just want text then I'd suggest to go web safe. And set 3 fonts as your primary choices, in order of preference of course.

http://web.mit.edu/jmorzins/www/fonts.html

check that out. People tend always use the same fonts for the web to ensure the site looks the same on different browsers and Operative systems. People usually go for Arial, verdana, trebuchet, times new roman, courier, georgia.


and oh yeah I forgot....the "... a new dimension in design Coming Soon." disappears when the window is set to 800x600. Don't forget to still include people that use this resolution. Around 15% of the people still use this resolution. I hate it but we still have to deal with them.

http://www.w3schools.com/browsers/browsers_stats.asp

and when you select all "ctrl + a" you can see a capital letter "C" right next to the logo. In the source code you have <P> tags around it but I don't see the reason to have a hidden "C" on your site.

eb6
Nov 13, 2006, 12:43 PM
I don't know where to start. But you should start by taking some design courses. You are lacking very basic design skills you will learn in even the most elementary design class. I'm not trying to be rude but I am a professional designer and get annoyed about people learning how to use photoshop and dreamweaver and calling themselves "designers". And its spelled something, not somthing.

dpaanlka
Nov 13, 2006, 12:49 PM
I fear this person might misinterpret our helpful intentions and not return.

I did a contract job for a "design" company and my boss knew nothing about design and so it really annoyed me that I was being forced to make something I didn't like at all... it ended up being this (http://www.danpalka.net/plasticsurgeon/site/) web site. Worst colors ever.

mkrishnan
Nov 13, 2006, 12:50 PM
__________________
Cooper Krings
kringsc@ceekdesigns.com
ceekdesings.com

I just thought I would mention also that, in your signature line, while your link to your website works, you have spelled "design" wrongly in the displayed web address.... Take it slowly, my friend...slowly....

JasonElise1983
Nov 13, 2006, 12:53 PM
ok...here is my 2¢

there is no logical way to read this. There is no real visual or textual hierarchy. Also, the logo doesn't really make sense to me...it needs to be incorporated more. maybe postion the square cut out to the right of and below the "s" in designs so the square surrounds it. It definately needs to be smaller.

why are there 3 "taglines" on a bussiness card?
there is the "definition" thing
the "web. print. more.."
and "it's all in perspective"

none of which really go together or work with one another in any way.
The colors could be more sophisticated. Bright red and bright yellow don't work that well together, especially paired with black, white, and grey. I also don't understand the texture on the background, but i'ts not that bad.

I also agree with others in that bauhas is not an attractive font for anything more than the logo.

I guess that's all. Sorry if that's harsh, but that's how critques go. Stick with it. Just don't get hung up on something you "love" just because you love it. A good rule of thumb is...if you can't justify something being there (an element, a tagline, a color, anything) then it doesn't need to be there. If you can justify it, then go with it. Don't let anyone tell you it's wrong without fighting for it, as long as you have that reason.

-JE

guess that wasn't 2¢ it was more like $5.

LeviG
Nov 13, 2006, 01:16 PM
I fear this person might misinterpret our helpful intentions and not return.

I did a contract job for a "design" company and my boss knew nothing about design and so it really annoyed me that I was being forced to make something I didn't like at all... it ended up being this (http://www.danpalka.net/plasticsurgeon/site/) web site. Worst colors ever.

At the end of the day its the client who has to like the work not you, as long as they are happy then there is nothing to worry about.

frankblundt
Nov 13, 2006, 01:18 PM
At first glance I thought it said Geek Designs.

Beyond that, everything BV said. Keep it simple. Way too much going on in a space with a complete absence of order or structure. You're making me work way too hard to find out what it is you do, which is the opposite of what most businesses (ie your clients) want from a business card.

I'm a big believer in form following function - what is the function of a business card? What does it need to communicate, in what order of priority? How can it do this in the fastest way possible with the least effort required by the reader?

Have you thought also about how this will relate to other material, like a letterhead? Black backgrounds look nice on a card but they don't work well for a letterhead or an invoice.

skunk
Nov 13, 2006, 01:21 PM
"somthing"?

Frankly, I find it almost unreadable, which is a bit of a drawback.

Belly-laughs
Nov 13, 2006, 04:55 PM
I agree with most of the criticism here… Also when I first saw the "C" I thought not of PacMan, but of a classic pram.

http://www.retromacs.com/stuff/pram.jpeg

It´s also an exact copy of a diagram used in one of the Mac vs Windows ads on the apple website where the Windows guy uses a pie-chart to explain a holiday :D

http://www.retromacs.com/stuff/windowsguychart.png

Jokes aside, we all have different tastes. I feel perhaps you should stay honest to your direction. After all, you want clients that like your style, so be proud and flaunt it!

dpaanlka
Nov 13, 2006, 05:12 PM
Jokes aside, we all have different tastes. I feel perhaps you should stay honest to your direction. After all, you want clients that like your style, so be proud and flaunt it!

Uhhh yeah...

janitorC7
Nov 13, 2006, 05:59 PM
A bit off topic, but to the OP: The "coming soon" text of your web site does not appear until my window is stretched almost the entire width of my 1440 x 900 display.


Really, thats strange, I dont get anything like that....

I just made some readjustments, does it still do that....

what computer were you using

tobefirst
Nov 13, 2006, 10:10 PM
Really, thats strange, I dont get anything like that....

I just made some readjustments, does it still do that....

what computer were you using

I was experiencing the same thing using Firefox on my Power Mac at work. I am not experiencing it on my MacBook (Firefox, again) at home. It looks like it would be fixed on the Power Mac as well, as the issue was a browser width issue.

tech4all
Nov 13, 2006, 10:43 PM
I have to go with the consensus here and say that the business card is too busy. Remember this is not a brochure, all you want on it is a logo w/ name, your full name (first, last), what you are or service you offer, contact info, website, and maybe a (short) tagline.

Some quick tips based on a fast observation:

- I would loose the the definition on the top right. You could put that on your website or other collateral.

- Do something else with the logo that it's in the main context area. Maybe make is larger, only showing a part of it....that is if it still read as the logo is intended - be sure it doesn't look like some random thing but just a cropped portion of the logo.

- Either have the phone number and email address align with the name or just have them indent a little with the name....and have "president" left aligned with the name (although someone mentioned they didn't like the word "president"). Nonetheless, I would left align it.

- I have mix feelings with the "web, print, more..." I think it's ok to put somewhere, but I don't know where it could go based on a different layout.

- For the "its all perspective", maybe put that with the logo as a tagline? Or move it to the left edge of where it's at currently.

Also be wary of things to close to the edge; they make get cut off if you print them at a printer. Always keep guides as "borders" as to how close elements can get to the edge.

Just take give it some time, and play with it. Take these constructive criticisms as good advice not insults. Of course design and art in general is subjective and in the end it's the client opinion that matters....they're the one's that will give you $$$$ for this.....not us. ;)

Good luck! :)

janitorC7
Nov 14, 2006, 01:46 AM
new one

dogbone
Nov 14, 2006, 02:02 AM
That looks much better, but is there really a need for two pacmans? Maybe trashing the big one will make it even cleaner.

vectormasked
Nov 14, 2006, 02:21 AM
new one


That is way way better.

But there's still a few things you should fix and change.

1. The text can't be that close to the edges. It will get cut off. The same goes for pacman.

2. Fix the spacing between your name, phone # and email. It looks messy.
Put the number and email together or something.

3. Lower your name a bit. it's too close to top and this makes it look so out of place because the space between the bottom and the email is almost three times bigger.

4. (Suggestion) get rid of the text in the black area at the bottom and move the website address below the email.

SFVCyclone
Nov 14, 2006, 03:00 AM
usually, I would agree with you...

But I like the futuristic look in this context...

At first I thought it said Geek not ceek, and I would try to line up the personal info more towards the right side, I feel that making the information all over the place makes it seem like trying too hard to be a "different" designer, The logo with the dot , I duno I feel so much tension with the dot there, i also agree with the yellow, where did it come from?

hqsbud
Nov 14, 2006, 03:29 AM
Just a little note, "its all perspective" uses the contraction of "it is," so it should say "it's all perspective." "Its" is the possessive form which isn't proper here.

Have to agree with others, the main name just screams "GEEK DESIGNS." Just a little change to the "C" should fix that. Adobe Illustrator can be used to fix this one character if you want to keep that font.