Punctuation Police Wanted

[MACDRIVE]

I'm in an endless pursuit of punctuation perfection. So if someone would like to critique my posts, please do so. I think it says in the forum rules somewhere that were not suppose to comment on each other's punctuation or spelling errors, but I'm letting you all know right now: please tell me, I want to know. As psychotic as it may sound to you, I actually enjoy making a game out of punctuation. :)

[bearbo]

I'm in an endless pursuit of punctuation perfection. So if someone would like to critique my posts, please do so. I think it says in the forum rules somewhere that were not suppose to comment on each other's punctuation or spelling errors, but I'm letting you all know right now: please tell me, I want to know. As psychotic as it may sound to you, I actually enjoy making a game out of punctuation. :)

oh hey! me too! by all mean correct me. :) (although i will probably make many more mistakes than you do.)

[MrSmith]

man, ewe muts be as board as; me write now http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/6852/faceng9.gif

[MACDRIVE]

oh hey! me too! by all mean correct me. :) (although i will probably make many more mistakes than you do.)

Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out when to use a full colon and when to use a semicolon. I think semicolons are really cool; yeah... I know I'm weird. :o

[kalisphoenix]

I think it says in the forum rules somewhere that were not suppose to comment on each other's punctuation or spelling errors

"we're" "supposed" ;)

And that's an idiotic rule. In my opinion, people who can't write well enough to convey whatever the hell they're talking about deserve whatever ridicule they get. If English isn't your first language, fine. I respect anyone who can express themselves in a second language. Conversely, I'm immensely irritated by anyone who can't express themselves in even one language.... not to mention the rather charming correlation of this trait with the "total and complete dumbass" trait that results in a general erosion of all that is good and holy.

I'm not talking about sincere errors or typos. I mean people who willingly and consistently use wretched grammar, punctuation, and/or spelling. I'm not perfect... but I will cheerfully attempt to eviscerate (politely and subtly, since I got banned a week or two ago for mentioning how silly another member's mother looked before I shaved her back) any idiot I come across ;)

Please. Speak with dignity.

[Aniej]

Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out when to use a full colon and when to use a semicolon. I think semicolons are really cool; yeah... I know I'm weird. :o
1. I agree with your first post and will correct you if I see something in your post, please do the same for me except for my occasional failure to use capitals, which is limited to postings on web forums. I agree that it is fun as well... word of the day?

2. so i was excited and then saw your last post. I am busy working on a memo, so maybe I missed it, but was your question over the difference between a semicolon and a colon a joke?

[MrSmith]

...since I got banned a week or two ago for mentioning how silly another member's mother looked before I shaved her back)...
And by effectively repeating the crime a longer ban will now be implemented.

[MACDRIVE]

"we're" "supposed" ;)

That's right! I should have known that. We are = We're.

And suppose to, is supposed to be: supposed to. :p

[katie ta achoo]

65350


In all seriousness, I think the rule should be stuck by. I can see threads veering off topic worse than they do now.

A post asking "How doo I fix my computer. she broke" could devolve into a thread about grammar.

If you really want help, pick up a copy of Strunk and White. :)

[kalisphoenix]

Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out when to use a full colon and when to use a semicolon. I think semicolons are really cool; yeah... I know I'm weird. :o

Hard and fast rule on semicolons:

He is a cad, a bounder, and a boor.

He is a cad; he is a bounder and a boor.

He is: a cad, and a shameless cad at that; a bounder, and a bounding bounder at that; and a boor, and a boorish boor at that.

So you can use it either as a more-emphatic comma or a less-emphatic period. Kurt Vonnegut says that they are pretentious and shouldn't be used. Kurt can go @#$% himself. I think they're fantastic at filling the space between commas and periods.

I'm a writer (as in, novelist), so I generally use punctuation and grammar based on how it makes me feel -- even if it's a comma splice or some other mutation that wouldn't be acceptable in a formal essay. And as you might have noticed, I'm deeply enamoured of the "--", the ellipsis, and colons and semicolons. I also use "more" when my mother (an English teacher) says I should use "most" -- for instance, "She was among the more buxom of the girls on my block." Since I'm comparing at least three girls, my mom says I should use "most," but I view it as comparing two groups of girls -- the more buxom and the less buxom. So this girl's boobs are in the top half, roughly, but not in the top 10%.

So anyway, I'm not a prescriptivist. I just want people to make friggin' sense. If I can understand what you're saying well enough to correct you, then I won't say anything. If I can't even understand you that well, that's when I get angry.

[MACDRIVE]

1. I agree with your first post and will correct you if I see something in your post, please do the same for me; except for my occasional failure to use capitals, which is limited to postings on web forums. I agree that it is fun as well... word of the day?

2. So I was excited and then saw your last post. I am busy working on a memo, so maybe I missed it, but was your question over the difference between a semicolon and a colon a joke?

No, I was being serious about the colon and semi colons. :)

Someone please go and correct my corrections. :)

[Aniej]

65350

If you really want help, pick up a copy of Strunk and White. :) simply the best.

[xsedrinam]

Full colons require emptying before a colonoscopy. Semicolons require the aid of Sigmund and neither take as long, nor go as far.

[bearbo]

1. I agree with your first post and will correct you if I see something in your post. Please do the same for me, except for my occasional failure to use capitals, which is limited to postings on web forums. I agree that it is fun as well. Word of the day?

2. So I was excited and then saw your last post. I was busy working on a memo, so maybe I missed it. But was your question over the difference between a semicolon and a colon a joke?

No, I was being serious about the colon and semi colons. :)

Someone please go and correct my corrections. :)

here are my corrections :O

[MACDRIVE]

65350


In all seriousness, I think the rule should be stuck by. I can see threads veering off topic worse than they do now.

A post asking: "How do I fix my computer, she's broke?" could devolve into a thread about grammar.

If you really want help, pick up a copy of Strunk and White. :)

I think that's the way it's supposed to be; I'm not sure though.

[kalisphoenix]

"How do I fix my computer, she's broke?"

I think that's the way it's supposed to be; I'm not sure though.

It's actually a comma splice. The two statements should be in separate sentences... or they could be separated by a semicolon :)

"How do I fix my computer? She's broke."

And don't put a colon before that. Bad MACDRIVE. Bad.

[MrSmith]

She's broken. Broke is an adjective used informally to refer to a lack of cash.

[kalisphoenix]

She's broken. Broke is an adjective used informally to refer to a lack of cash.

Hahaha... holy **** :P

Another one I've done like that a couple times is "I'm finished" when I meant "I'm done."

I blame it on that quote being retarded to begin with. We know the damn computer's broken if it needs to be fixed.

[MACDRIVE]

"How do I fix my computer, she's broke?"

It's actually a comma splice. The two statements should be in separate sentences... or they could be separated by a semicolon :)

"How do I fix my computer? She's broke."


Thank You. Keep them comming. :)

[bearbo]

Thank You. Keep them comming. :)
Thank you.
coming.

edit: :p MrSmith was first

[MrSmith]

Thank you. ;)
(Edit: Me first)

[MACDRIVE]

^
Really? I've seen it both ways and never could figure out which way is which, but now I know. Thanks. :)

[bearbo]

^
Really? I've seen it both ways and never could figure out which way is which, but now I know. Thanks. :)

when in a sentence, it is "Thank you."

on a poster or something, it's Thank You... i think

[MacNut]

She's broken. Broke is an adjective used informally to refer to a lack of cash.Then how do you explain the phrase "Jimmy threw his baseball into the window and it broke."

[Stampyhead]

I'm in an endless pursuit of punctuation perfection, so if someone would like to critique my posts please do so.

Thanks, that was fun.

[kalisphoenix]

Then how do you explain the phrase "Jimmy threw his baseball into the window and it broke."

It broke.
It has broken.
It is broken.
She broke.
She has broken.
She is broken.

[kalisphoenix]

Thanks, that was fun.

Comma splice! Comma splice! ;)

[MrSmith]

^
Really? I've seen it both ways and never could figure out which way is which, but now I know. Thanks. :)
It's based on a sentence containing a 'zero subject'. It should read 'I/We thank you'. This agrees with its use within a proper sentence: I would like to thank you for coming to my party last night. No capitals there. On a poster, of course, normal grammar rules give way to consistency, design, etc.

[MacNut]

Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out when to use a full colon and when to use a semicolon. I think semicolons are really cool; yeah... I know I'm weird. :oColon
noun a punctuation mark (:) indicating • that a writer is introducing a quotation or a list of items. • that a writer is separating two clauses of which the second expands or illustrates the first. • a statement of proportion between two numbers : a ratio of 10:1. • the separation of hours from minutes (and minutes from seconds) in a statement of time given in numbers : 4:30 p.m. • the number of the chapter and verse respectively in biblical references : Exodus 3:2.

Semicolon
a punctuation mark (;) indicating a pause, typically between two main clauses, that is more pronounced than that indicated by a comma.

[MACDRIVE]

Comma splice! Comma splice! ;)

So, what is a comma splice? And is it a good thing or a bad thing? :confused:

[MacNut]

So, what is a comma splice? And is it a good thing or a bad thing? :confused:a punctuation mark (,) indicating a pause between parts of a sentence. It is also used to separate items in a list and to mark the place of thousands in a large numeral.

[MrSmith]

Then how do you explain the phrase "Jimmy threw his baseball into the window and it broke."
Easily. In She's broken 'broken' is an adjective. In your example it's a verb.

There are two kinds of verbs: transitive and intransitive:

The former takes an object. I kick the ball. I is the subject, kick is the verb and the ball is the object.

The latter takes no object. I slept. Subject and verb only. You don't sleep someone. You just sleep. (With someone is a different matter :) )

Your example (Jimmy threw his baseball into the window and it broke) is an example of an intransitive verb (in the past tense).

[MACDRIVE]

a punctuation mark (,) indicating a pause between parts of a sentence. It is also used to separate items in a list and to mark the place of thousands in a large numeral.

So then a comma splice and a comma are the same thing? :confused:

[Aniej]

It broke.
It has broken.
It is broken.
She broke.
She has broken.
She is broken.

Your post reminds me of my 8th grade Latin class where we had to conjugate all those verbs....:eek: Noteworthy is the fact that my 8th grade Latin teacher was also arrested for being a participant in a kiddie porn ring composed of Northeast prep school teachers.

[MacNut]

So then a comma splice and a comma are the same thing? :confused:A comma is a splice, it breaks up the sentence.

[MACDRIVE]

A comma is a splice, it breaks up the sentence.

Ok got it. :)

[MacNut]

Ok got it. :)Actually it is "Ok, got it."

[Doctor Q]

Wanting to hear about your punctuation mistakes is not weird. I think it's a sign of pride. Some people want their cars to be polished and good-looking, while others may want their prose to be polished and good-looking. In both cases, this can influence the impression they give others as well as the way they feel about themselves.

I'm fairly careful with spelling, grammar, and punctuation, and I don't mind when people point out my mistakes (except when it takes a thread off-topic.) Since it won't be off-topic here in a punctuation thread, you are welcome to point out the mistake I purposely put in this post.

[vouder17]

Then how do you explain the phrase "Jimmy threw his baseball into the window and it broke."

Well first of all, your word structure is incorrect. It should be,"Jimmy threw the baseball into the window, and the window broke." Your sentence was implying that the ball broke instead of the window.
I may of course be completely incorrect, an if this is the case, I would be more than happy for any other suggestions.

[Blue Velvet]

And as you might have noticed, I'm deeply enamoured of the "--"...


Try the '—' instead; your typesetters would probably appreciate it. ;)

En-dash, em-dash; all good depending on style. Although personally I prefer the en-dash with spaces on either side, rather than an unspaced em-dash. To my eye this can look a little obtrusive and slightly old-fashioned, depending on the typeface.

[jimN]

Well first of all, your word structure is incorrect. It should be,"Jimmy threw the baseball into the window, and the window broke." Your sentence was implying that the ball broke instead of the window.
I may of course be completely incorrect, an if this is the case, I would be more than happy for any other suggestions.

Suddenly you have to start thinking about the 'subject' and the 'object' of the sentence and before you know it you've discovered that Latin was simpler than this. The English language is full of exceptions that prove the rules and these are no better exemplified than when talking to a small child. Children (those that actually have parents that take the time to read and play with them) make great leaps and bounds in language development and will often try to use the rules that they learn to develop their sentences. There they are, so proud of their efforts, and then you turn round and say, "No, Jonny. It's not 'breaked', it's broke". <Hilarity ensues>

[MacBoobsPro]

So this girl's boobs are in the top half, roughly, but not in the top 10%.

So they are around her stomach? She must be REALLY old and fat.

[jimN]

So they are around her stomach? She must be REALLY old and fat.

Now where on earth did the boobs come from? I thought that I had read through the whole of this thread and I saw no mention of boobs (and I'm as eager to spot them as the next red blooded male).

I like your avatar macboobspro, that's a great episode.

[tobefirst]

I'm fairly careful with spelling, grammar, and punctuation, and I don't mind when people point out my mistakes (except when it takes a thread off-topic.) Since it won't be off-topic here in a punctuation thread, you are welcome to point out the mistake I purposely put in this post.
The period should be moved outside of the parenthetical statement.

[vouder17]

I would think this (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/6228071.stm) is appropriate for this thread.
Post back with your results!

[killmoms]

I'm a writer (as in, novelist), so I generally use punctuation and grammar based on how it makes me feel -- even if it's a comma splice or some other mutation that wouldn't be acceptable in a formal essay. And as you might have noticed, I'm deeply enamoured of the "--", the ellipsis, and colons and semicolons. I also use "more" when my mother (an English teacher) says I should use "most" -- for instance, "She was among the more buxom of the girls on my block." Since I'm comparing at least three girls, my mom says I should use "most," but I view it as comparing two groups of girls -- the more buxom and the less buxom. So this girl's boobs are in the top half, roughly, but not in the top 10&#37;.
If you're so enamored of the em dash, perhaps you could take the time—and I suggest this in the most humble manner—to actually type one, instead of taking the lazy way out and hitting -- which is total crap. Especially since you have a Mac—Opt+Shift+- is easy to hit and the Opt+whatever method of accessing special characters is far better than Windows' clunky Alt+#### ********.

EDIT:
Try the '—' instead; your typesetters would probably appreciate it. ;)

Dammit, BV, here I am thinking I'm the only one who will point that out, and I don't even bother to read page 2. Why you gotta steal my thunder, baby? ;)

[Brize]

Try the '—' instead; your typesetters would probably appreciate it.

I always substitute hyphens for en dashes in emails and forum posts because I'm unsure as to whether the en dash will display properly across different browsers and email clients. Can anyone shed any light on this?

Although personally I prefer the en-dash with spaces on either side, rather than an unspaced em-dash.

I favour the em dash with hair spaces on either side.

[Doctor Q]

Children (those that actually have parents that take the time to read and play with them) make great leaps and bounds in language development and will often try to use the rules that they learn to develop their sentences. There they are, so proud of their efforts, and then you turn round and say, "No, Jonny. It's not 'breaked', it's broke". <Hilarity ensues>That's part of the reason that the Funny things your kids have said.... thread is so much fun.

[pknz]

http://drawapig.desktopcreatures.com/gallery/2007/1/4/1328291.jpg



Trogpig is keen to be a punctuation police.