Girlfriend cheated on me

[TheDance511]

I play in a rock band..Guitar/Sing..And my band was doing a local show (Detroit).... My girlfriend was in the audience in the front and we were to maybe our 5th song when i loked down at the audience to see her Kissing some guy.. I immediatley had a sinking feeling and played very badly for the rest of the show...i didnt even want to play i jsut wanted to jump down there and break it up...my question is should i dump her i cant make up my mind i am only 18 and i think i lvoe her..would it be unreasonable of me to dump her for making a mistake am i over reacting? I dont know what to do.. please help?

[jsw]

I'd talk to her first. Make sure you know the story.

And if she was actually making out with some other guy at your gig? Dump her. And don't look back.

[twoodcc]

I'd talk to her first. Make sure you know the story.

And if she was actually making out with some other guy at your gig? Dump her. And don't look back.

i agree. after you calm down, at least talk to her, and confirm it.

then leave and never look back...

[Superdrive]

Take her best friend out. That will pack more of a punch than your words ever could.

I also agree with the above posters. If this did, in fact, take place. Don't look back. Nobody should ever stay with a cheater.

[TheDance511]

Take her best friend out. That will pack more of a punch than your words ever could.

I also agree with the above posters. If this did, in fact, take place. Don't look back. Nobody should ever stay with a cheater.


awsome advice lol

[MacNut]

Thats kinda ballsy for the girl to do right in front of him. I say find some groupies if you have any.

[spicyapple]

Take her best friend out. That will pack more of a punch than your words ever could.
I don't think the girlfriend would care. And you'd just be hurting the best friend.

[TheDance511]

Thanks...Think i know wut im gonna do..:(

[OldCorpse]

First, don't overreact, you may not know the full story. Many weird things happen at concerts. Folks drop x and kiss everyone around them... just sayin'... it would be rather odd if she was makin' out right in front of you... not exactly sneaking behind your back... so, its's more likely a misunderstanding... then again, I always tend to believe the best about people, so who knows :)

Talk to her.

Even if she did cheat, hey, at least you found out now, rather than in 10 years married with kids. Plus, you're still young... and I don't mean that in a harsh way, but maybe it's better that you find out about the sadder side of life now, it'll kind of toughen you up a bit. With age comes experience, and not all of it is rosy.

But whatever you do, don't harsh on her. It isn't worth it. You can't undo what's done. Let her go if you have to, but always take the high road.

Good luck.

[zblaxberg]

I'd talk to her first. Make sure you know the story.

And if she was actually making out with some other guy at your gig? Dump her. And don't look back.

life's easy...you make choices and don't look back

confront her about it... you could even make her feel bad by telling her that your friend told you a story about how he was at a concert and he saw his girlfriend cheating on him...see what happens when you tell her the story if she won't willingly admit it. love her or not...honestly do you wanna be with someone that will continue to do those things to you:confused:

i know its confusing but think about it and don't think too hard and long. you'll make the right choice

p.s. let us know how everything goes man..it happens to the best of us

[rockthecasbah]

i know you probably don't want to hear this now, but i would have pointed her out to everyone through the mike "and to the whore, i mean - - - - kissing that schmuck in the middle, IT'S OVER!" :rolleyes:

In all seriousness, though you should not necessarily treat her like **** because of it, keeping her around is only asking for trouble. Infidelity leads to so many problems with mistrust in the future. It's painful now, but even more will be brought up by staying with her. Talk to her, but i would advise trying to move on.

Sorry to hear about that man :o

[BigPrince]

Maybe it was already over and you just didnt realize it. This was her way of "sending the message." She didn't have the guts or respect to tell you.:mad: :(

[Dont Hurt Me]

move on, there are only what 50 billion more fish in the sea? forget her.

[QCassidy352]

if she'd do that right in front of you, what would she do when you're not around? get out.

[OldCorpse]

I can't believe how harsh some people here are :(

You only know one side of the story. And it's full of ambiguities, which even the OP acknowledges.

All these revenge fantasies is so much juvenile BS. I hope you don't treat people that way in real life and are only acting out on the net.

Find out what really happened first. And always treat your gf/bf with respect. If you loved them once, how can you call them names now? It speaks very poorly of you. When I hear people talking horrible stuff about their ex's I always think "yeah, well, YOU picked her/him - if they're so bad, that doesn't speak well of your ability to judge character, why should I trust you judgment of them this time either?".

Be good to people. Even if they wronged you, you'll lose more if you treat them badly. You can always say: "She did me wrong, but I always treated her like a gentleman". That counts for what kind of human being you are.

[MovieCutter]

i am only 18 and i think i lvoe her

That made me laugh. You're not in love...trust me. If you were, you wouldn't be asking us what to do. But at 18...you're never in love. There will be those who disagree...but you don't know what love is at 18.

[TheDance511]

Ya awsome old corpse..always love :)

[dllavaneras]

Wow, that sucks big time! Sorry man...

I'd suggest for you to find out the complete story first. If it turns out to be true, then you know what they say...
Once a w**re, always a w**re :rolleyes: Get out of there ASAP

[Cybix]

I'd be giving her the flick. Definately not easy if your so in love, but it's obvious she doesn't feel the same way about you.

[BigPrince]

anyone care to speculate what "the story" could be or what one would say in repsonse to being asked.

[TheDance511]

anyone care to speculate what "the story" could be or what one would say in repsonse to being asked.

i dont know ....

[Abstract]

I can't believe how harsh some people here are :(

You only know one side of the story. And it's full of ambiguities, which even the OP acknowledges.

....Find out what really happened first. And always treat your gf/bf with respect. If you loved them once, how can you call them names now?

I "might" disagree. What's his definition of "making out"? Did a guy kiss her on the mouth for a split second, or did she kiss this guy for 5, 10, 20 seconds at a time?

If she was actually making out with him, and I mean they kissed for more than 5+ seconds, then I think it's a safe bet that you don't even need to talk to her about it. It's crystal clear. She was at your gig, standing in front of you, and she still did that? What has she been doing when out of your sight. Did you see her leave with this guy? Did she spend the night at someone elses house that night?

If it looked like he was kissing her, and it only lasted for a split second, then talk to her about it --- clear things up.



Thanks...Think i know wut im gonna do..:(

Don't jump, man!! :eek:

[bearbo]

That made me laugh. You're not in love...trust me. If you were, you wouldn't be asking us what to do. But at 18...you're never in love. There will be those who disagree...but you don't know what love is at 18.

that's the most judgemental thing i've heard. just because people usually don't find true love at 18, doesn't mean people dont know what love is at 18. there are those of us who did, at age of 18, already have found it.

[TheDance511]

after it was over i jsut walked with my band mates to our car...didnt even try to find her i didnt have it in me...she called me like an hr after but i jsut ignored her...so maybe ill talk to her in the morning if i can...i dont know..but thanks guys

[jsw]

after it was over i jsut walked with my band mates to our car...didnt even try to find her i didnt have it in me...she called me like an hr after but i jsut ignored her...so maybe ill talk to her in the morning if i can...i dont know..but thanks guys
Like we've said:

Please try to talk to her in the morning. Get her side of the story. It won't take long, and you won't then have to regret not knowing.

If the story is as you think it is, then it's very unlikely anything good can come from staying with her unless she's genuinely sorry about and can explain it.

But if the story isn't what you think, then you'll be happy you asked.

Either way, if you do walk away from it, as others have said, don't bad-mouth her. It makes you look bad, and there's no reason for it.

[applemacdude]

hit and run.. if you catch my drift..

[Josh396]

That made me laugh. You're not in love...trust me. If you were, you wouldn't be asking us what to do. But at 18...you're never in love. There will be those who disagree...but you don't know what love is at 18.
That's a very ignorant statement. My dad was 19 and my mom was 17 when they got married and 26 years later they're still married with 4 kids. I couldn't think of a more perfect marriage then they have. Just as Bearbo said, just because you didn't experience was love was at 18 doesn't mean other people haven't. You don't know the OP's relationship at all so don't try to tell him what he's experiencing or feeling.

To the OP, like a few others have said, talk to her about it first. If it ends up she was cheating on you, as it appears, then go you're seperate ways. Don't bad mouth or her treat her bad, there was obviously a reason you were dating in the first place.

[iMacZealot]

Wow, this just happened to my brother, and he's a guitar player, too. Only she did it secretly, and throughout their entire three year relationship and pretended nothing happened.

She's not worth it. Why continue a relationship with someone who you know won't be fully committed?

[mashinhead]

Wow, this just happened to my brother, and he's a guitar player, too.

Wow, usually the guitar players are the ones causing the break up!? Anyway if she'd make out with some guy in front of you that's pretty messed up. Usually in situations like this everyone says their sorry, and says all the right things, but they don't mean it, or it probably wouldn't have happened in the first place. I think you should let her go man if you wouldn't do that to her and you don't there's no reason to accept anything less in return. People don't change, they just take longer to go back to the way they were before.

[apunkrockmonk]

Move on.

Anyone who disrespects you like that doesn't deserve you.

I don't care if she was tripping or giving him the heimlich, say peace out and move on.

[Leareth]

I know this will probably sound stupid , but are you sure it was her?

At concerts the lighting and atmosphere is not exactly the best for looking in a crowd, maybe you saw someone who looked somewhat like her...

OK yeah it a farshot but it has happened to me , I was 100% the person was who I though it was, then I got to 2 feet off them and whoa, sorry wrong person...

It just seems kind off dumb that she would go to a place she knows you are and kiss another person unless she was trying to get your attention.

[Macky-Mac]

sheesh....just dump her

[Markleshark]

Have sex with her best friend.

Always a killer.

[davidjearly]

That made me laugh. You're not in love...trust me. If you were, you wouldn't be asking us what to do. But at 18...you're never in love. There will be those who disagree...but you don't know what love is at 18.

Don't be a fool. I have no time for people who make meagre attempts to tell people they are not in love. How the hell do you know? Just because the OP is confused has nothing to do with him not being in love.

Get over yourself.

David

I "might" disagree. What's his definition of "making out"? Did a guy kiss her on the mouth for a split second, or did she kiss this guy for 5, 10, 20 seconds at a time?

If she was actually making out with him, and I mean they kissed for more than 5+ seconds, then I think it's a safe bet that you don't even need to talk to her about it. It's crystal clear. She was at your gig, standing in front of you, and she still did that? What has she been doing when out of your sight. Did you see her leave with this guy? Did she spend the night at someone elses house that night?

If it looked like he was kissing her, and it only lasted for a split second, then talk to her about it --- clear things up.





Don't jump, man!! :eek:

I'll make it simpler, if her lips touched another guys then she cheated and for me it would be over. Never mind the, 'Oh, but it was just the excitement at the concert' crap.

If the OP saw what he said he did, that is, the slightest kiss from another guy who is not part of the immediate family, then it is cheating.

It's up to the OP how he deals with it though.

David

[iGav]

Have sex with her best friend.

Have sex with her mum too.

Then any other female relative of hers.

Once you've worked your way through those.

Then try the dad.

Then any other male relative of hers.

[FleurDuMal]

Have sex with her mum too.

Then any other female relative of hers.

Once you've worked your way through those.

Then try the dad.

Then any other male relative of hers.

You forgot any pets.

[iGav]

You forgot any pets.

Those too. Well remembered. You've not done this type of thing before have you?

[Dunepilot]

And ... the thread is derailed.

To the OP - we all feel for you. As some of the other slightly more sensitive posters have pointed out, better that you saw her true colours now than wasted any more of your life with her. Be grateful you are only 18. Life (and women) as you know it is just beginning.

[FleurDuMal]

Those too. Well remembered. You've not done this type of thing before have you?

Well, I've slept with some right dogs. :(

[iGav]

And ... the thread is derailed.

You're right, so to bring it right back OT, to the OP, if the kissing was anything other than of the continental greeting type, I suggest not even dignifying her with your time. Let alone willingly listen to her lies.

[xJulianx]

That made me laugh. You're not in love...trust me. If you were, you wouldn't be asking us what to do. But at 18...you're never in love. There will be those who disagree...but you don't know what love is at 18.

That is the most rediculous statement I have heard for a time. IMO, love has nothing to do with experience, whereas knowing what to do in this situation has alot to do with experience which comes with age.

Love is a feeling you are very familiar with from being a baby, and feeling that same love to someone other than family happens depending completely on the individual/the person they meet, it has nothing to do with your age or how many people you have been with prior.

It is extremely ignorant to just blast at the OP saying that you find his statement amusing when you have absolutely no idea what his relationship is like or what he is like as a person.

Out of curiosity to the OP, how long have you and your girlfriend been seeing eachother? My thoughts go out to you, take the serious advice of the more mature forum members and talk to her abou it, and if what you thought you saw did actually happen, then turn around and walk away.

[iSaint]

Thats kinda ballsy for the girl to do right in front of him. I say find some groupies if you have any.

He may have already!

[xJulianx]

He may have already!

That would explain his absence from this thread!

[TheDance511]

Heyy guys, firsti would jsut like to thank you all for your advice and some of you guys made me laugh...anyway...i called her at i donno...4 in the morning because i woke up from i guess a nap.. anyway... so she lives maybe ten minutes from me so i asked her to come over and she was liek why.. i go because... i wanna talk to you so she said okay.. and i could jsut hear it in her voice like oh Shi* im getting canned u know...so she gets to my house and i try to "suggest" the idea of what she did would hurt me "if" she did it...she goes ohh yeah.... about that... Thats the guy i have been seeing for the last year.. ( ihave been with this girl for 6 years) yaeh..young ..anyway she goes i have been with this guy for a year..andi could not beleive this was happening...so she says Johnathan...(thats me) Johnatahn....I really care about you alot blah blah blah..and you know how when someone talks to you and they wont stop and you jsut want interupt and say what you want to say..yeah it was like that...but you just...are to wild for me? i'm like to wild for you? What the fu** is this? sshe goes yeah i always worry abotu you cheating on me because of the band thing and you never answer your cell phone and then she turns this aroundo n me for like an hour saying how i never can just be her boyfriend and how i am always somewhere else..well whatever ithink iwas good.. wias caring..so later she goes onto say that this guy is better for her because he has a job and he knows where he is goingi n life and all that ******** and she weas gonna tell me but she didnt wanna break my heart...and in all this craziness she finds a way to turn thsi around on me....at this point i was like dieing soi jsut said anytghing to keep her...but it didnt work.... so yeah we talked for like 10 more mintues after that i was just like okay well fine be a whore i DONT CARE because i jsut couldnt take my feelings.. and i know it was wrong and i feel bad now about it...so my iPod was sitting on the table next to the couch we were on and she grabs it and throws it on the wall my 60 gig video..thats iPod murder (it was already broken but its jsut the principal you know which is y i have my new orange shuffle) and i was like what the hell and she goes you know it is not that you don't have respect for me its that i don't have respect for you and im all after all this time you wanna tell me that!? and she goes im sorry... and she kissses my cheek liek she gives a ****...and she left.. i guess thats just the way life is sometimes..im pretty broken and i hope i get better =( anyway thanks guys you have been so supportive...!:apple:

[xJulianx]

Well that just goes to show she has absolutely no respect for you, she handled that in a disgusting way. Be glad she's gone now though, concentrate on your band and friends. Go out and have some fun without being tied down.

I don't understand how she managed to turn it around on you, at the end of the day, she cheated on you for a year, there is no excuse for that. If she wasnt happy with your relationship, she should have spoken to you about it, not dated someone else for a year, then have a paddy when you find out.

Forget her, there are people out there with morals for nice guys like yourself.

[TheDance511]

She turned it around on me by saying that i deserved it because i was a bad bf.. and on and on and on jsut so we couldnt talk abotu what she had done but your right..there are other girls and alot of things to do

[gekko513]

*hugs*

That's some nerve she has trying to turn it around on you. You're too good for her, anyway.

It's okay to be broken right now. Just don't start thinking it was your fault and that there's something wrong with you.

[takao]

looks like a "I DUMP U" message would have been appropriate ....

[arkitect]

Wow, nasty! :(

But how did she manage to be seeing another guy on the side for a year without you even suspecting anything? Maybe your band does take up a lot of your time?

However, commiserations. But you will get over it. And you are young enough :) and the future is bright!



she goes i have been with this guy for a year..

[TheDance511]

It was her friend and they spent alot of time together..but i never suspected she was ******* him or nethign like that.... i thought it was the big brother thing..and i didnt wanna sound paranoid..o well

[iGav]

She turned it around on me by saying that i deserved it because i was a bad bf.. and on and on and on

I was right then... definitely start with the mum. :D

Anyway... chin up, and as you're in a band, you have the absolutely best possibile way of properly getting over this. Groupies. And lots of them. ;)

[devilot]

I've been reading this thread but didn't feel compelled to comment until I read this: It was her friend and they spent alot of time together... and i didnt wanna sound paranoid.
I'm so sorry you're in this position. Having been cheated on before, I can relate to some of what you must be feeling, obviously every relationship and situation is different, but still.

You cannot beat yourself up about this. You did your best. You were right in not being paranoid, and don't allow this lousy outcome turn you into a paranoid, bitter person. You must not beat up on yourself, okay? Seriously.

[jsw]

Sorry to hear about that, TheDance511.

As you go through life, there will always be those women you look back on and wish you'd tried harder with.

She's not going to be one of them. Six years is a really long time, but be glad it wasn't 8, 10, or more. Yeah, the way she tried to around it around on you was horrid, but people do odd things when they're ashamed of their actions or embarrassed by being caught (as if she didn't know). What she did was bad, and to do it in front of you at a gig was terrible.

As much as it sucks, at least your eyes have been opened. Sorry, man.

[jessica.]

A mistake is some guy kissing her and her jumping back. A mistake is not her going to a show where SHE KNEW YOU WERE PLAYING and kiss some guy. You're better off without her. At 18 you will love and lose many times before you find the one.

[rijiMacDij]

Step 1. Dip head in petrol (gasoline)
Step 2. Introduce head to naked flame:rolleyes:

[Creibold]

"Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?":cool:

[Apemanblues]

I'm surprised you didn't jump off the stage and knock the guy out.

That's the rock and roll thing to do.

[iSaint]

That would explain his absence from this thread!


Well, what I really meant was that the girlfriend liked him and he's in a band. Then she's sleazing about in the crowd right in front of him. She was his groupie, and whoever else she could find.

[Palad1]

As you go through life, there will always be those women you look back on and wish you'd tried harder with.

She's not going to be one of them. Six years is a really long time, but be glad it wasn't 8, 10, or more.

Trust the man, he's right, you'll see, in about 10 years or so.

So, you're 18, you're single, and you play in a rock band?

No kids?
No mortgage?
No engagement?

Oh boy, oh boy, lucky you :D

[Raid]

i guess thats just the way life is sometimes..im pretty broken and i hope i get better =( anyway thanks guys you have been so supportive...!:apple: Dude I know that pain, I was dating a girl in highschool who cheated on me. It hurts now like none other I bet, but it will get better (just never soon enough eh?). After reading your story, I think you should realize that she wanted out. I mean kissing a guy right in front of you... that's not exactly what a discreet person wants to do. I'm not defending her at all, but I want to say if she wanted out it's better to let her go and move on.

[millar876]

wow, all therse people with self controll and no self image/confidence/anger issues, im impressed.

if it were me i probably would have jumped off the stage, swung the guitar by the neck, whacking the body of it full force (probably side on) into somones head (although not her), screamed at her, then run away and hide in a corner somwhere crying and not talk at all for a week, but then again i doo have a few issues.

[jsw]

...but then again i doo have a few issues.Maybe a couple, yeah. ;)

[jelloshotsrule]

Step 1. Dip head in petrol (gasoline)
Step 2. Introduce head to naked flame:rolleyes:

whose head??? ;)

sounds like a terribly immature girl, and you're better off without her, of course. it'll take some time to realize that but it will happen.

[carbonmotion]

I play in a rock band..Guitar/Sing..And my band was doing a local show (Detroit).... My girlfriend was in the audience in the front and we were to maybe our 5th song when i loked down at the audience to see her Kissing some guy.. I immediatley had a sinking feeling and played very badly for the rest of the show...i didnt even want to play i jsut wanted to jump down there and break it up...my question is should i dump her i cant make up my mind i am only 18 and i think i lvoe her..would it be unreasonable of me to dump her for making a mistake am i over reacting? I dont know what to do.. please help?
your girlfriend's a whore. find a new unit.

[Sdashiki]

To quote the Great Jay Mewes:

"There's only one bitch in the world. One bitch, with many faces."

truer words were never spoken.

another even better saying is in white text below:

"Poosy has no face"

[iMacZealot]

Wow. This story is so similar to what my brother went through excatly a month ago.

Two good guys.
Both guitar players in a band.
Both with no intentions of hurting a girl.
Both fell in love with a girl.
Both had a long relationship.
Both girls a year ago got a case of the crazies.
Both thought that the other guy was better with a better job.
Both had the same lameass excuse as to why they didn't tell the guys.
Both girls destroyed/received many of the guys' expensive gifts.
Both breakups happened around the same time.
Both guys will have a smash album released.
Both girls will (and already do in my bro's case) want the first guy back.
Both guys will have (and my bro has) moved on.

All the best, TheDance511. :)

[TheDance511]

I'm surprised you didn't jump off the stage and knock the guy out.

That's the rock and roll thing to do.

hahah true... after a while i wanted to beccause after they were just standing there....watching me and doing wut ever people at concerts do..but...i just wanted to i guess its a ntural thing to feel that way even though im the kind of guy that will choosep eace over anything...but at that point i wanted to just break my guitar on that guy..anyhow had i done that the outcome would have been very bad... because its HARd very very VERY (HARD) to get a show anywhere in detroit...the detroit rock scene is dieing out..hopefulyl itll come abck but a bad reputation would ruin me there :(.... anyway guys i feel a little better this will be a ****** feeling i get daily for a while ican tell but thanks guys:cool:

P.S. I did end uup breaking my guitar....i do aftr everyshow so i have to keep getting new guitars..lolusually form pawn shops or wherever i can find them cheap...but hey... its rock and roolll

[Poseidon]

"Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?":cool:


[Having just seen this Chappelle episode again last night, this quote gave me a hell of a laugh. Thanks!]



TheDance:

Sorry about the whole mess - hopefully you can find someone else who treats you the way you deserve.

Just remember when dealing with the fairer sex: ALL women are evil. It's just a matter of how evil they are. :cool:

- Paul

[TheDance511]

thankyou all so much! but lets not all make this about only me....if any of you out there have had similar experiences as mine post it here...maybe we can help you like you helped me thanks!!! :-)

[tringo]

My whole philosophy is that guys shouldn't always be the ones chasing and getting heartbroken.

Wait until you find a girl who makes the effort to come to you, that way you know. If you have to chase a girl and keep pushing her to spend time with you it will never work.

[backsidetailsli]

buy a bb-gun and shoot her with it

[zblaxberg]

then she turns this aroundo n me for like an hour

they always do that...i can't stand it...btw i just recently broke up with my gf a few months ago and trust me it does get better cuz eventually you start to talk to more ladies and things get better...let it come to you. don't rush into trying to get a new gf

[compuwar]

It was her friend and they spent alot of time together..but i never suspected she was F****** him or nethign like that.... i thought it was the big brother thing..and i didnt wanna sound paranoid..o well

While it's going to take time to get over it, you will. Set a reminder in iCal to read this thread in a year, and see where you are by then. If she didn't have the courtesy to break up with you, then she tries to justify her behavior based on things she didn't talk to you about that were making her uncomfortable, then you're really going to be better off in the long run. Use the emotions you have to make music, some of the sweetest songs come from the worst experiences, and if you're going to go through hell, you may as well get something positive out of it.

[davidjearly]

]At 18 you will love and lose many times before you find the one.

Yet another completely ignorant statement.

[applemacdude]

ehh **** her, youll find better

[dllavaneras]

but at that point i wanted to just break my guitar on that guy..

But you didn't, and that's what makes you a better person by not lowering yourself to her level :) Kudos to you

[applekid]

...so my iPod was sitting on the table next to the couch we were on and she grabs it and throws it on the wall my 60 gig video..thats iPod murder (it was already broken but its jsut the principal you know which is y i have my new orange shuffle) and i was like what the hell...

Well, that explains why this is posted in the MacRumors forum!

Sounds like you're taking it pretty well, mate. Good for you.

Some of the things she did and say sure makes it seem like she was kind of a flaky girl. And it seems like she was trying hard to justify her stance while at the same time, she was trying to seduce you back. Maybe that's what she likes? Good thing it's over.

[emmawu]

Thank her for giving you a true look at her personality and then get on with things. Something better is bound to come your way.

[MarkCollette]

I've read a bazillion break-up stories in the past few days, and I've learned one important lesson:

If you've dated some chick for a couple years, and you're now 18, it's over.

Seriously, I think people now a days are not looking to marry their high school sweet heart. They're looking forward to whore around a bit* at college, and will maybe look at getting into a real relationship again a couple years down the road.

* Felt the call, myself

[jamesmcd]

She cheated on you? Kill her.

I have a good price if you're interested.

[dllavaneras]

She cheated on you? Kill her.

I have a good price if you're interested.

Then you'd go to hell, which is kind of the place you want her to go :rolleyes:

[jamesmcd]

I'm an Atheist, that makes my job easier.

[dllavaneras]

I'm an Atheist, that makes my job easier.

Fine, substitute "hell" with "jail" and we're good to go ;)

[jamesmcd]

I'm in New Zealand, I'll get parole.

[dllavaneras]

In that case, what's your price? ;)

[yojitani]

Sometimes the ads that accompany the forums are a tad.. erm.. insensitive. While reading this one, I noticed an ad for 'dating cheating wives.' :D .

YT

[MovieCutter]

Heyy guys, firsti would jsut like to thank you all for your advice and some of you guys made me laugh...<blah blah blah>

My head hurts...

[iGav]

I'm an Atheist, that makes my job easier.

It wouldn't matter anyway, repent your sins and god lets you in regardless. He's good like that apparently. :rolleyes: :p

[TheDance511]

Well here is an update... i went out last night (FRIDAY NIGHT WHEW) and iwas pretty much in a ****** mood but you know...i met a new girl...she thinks were friends..but not for much longer... i jsut know that if i am alone ill go crazy because ill keep thinking about her..maybe i need to occupy myself? i dont know..but one thing is for sure...you guys are funny...i drove by my old gfs house.... that a**holes car was there....and the war continues....its ok...i know the guy personally...my wonderful U.S. Government is sending him to Iraq this summer....thank Bush the f***** i thank him....

[dllavaneras]

i met a new girl...she thinks were friends..but not for much longer... i jsut know that if i am alone ill go crazy because ill keep thinking about her

You'll do that only because you'll see in her all the good things your ex didn't have. Take up a new hobby or activity, like going to the gym or something. It'll take your mind off women for a while.

[Zwhaler]

Take her best friend out. That will pack more of a punch than your words ever could.

I also agree with the above posters. If this did, in fact, take place. Don't look back. Nobody should ever stay with a cheater.

So true... I know someone who's wife cheated on him, and then they appearantly "resolved" that problem, and she did it again, and again, and again. It is a lifestyle, and those kind of people cannot be trusted in a relationship.

[yojitani]

So true... I know someone who's wife cheated on him, and then they appearantly "resolved" that problem, and she did it again, and again, and again. It is a lifestyle, and those kind of people cannot be trusted in a relationship.

Sadly, this tends to be true. It also seems to be the case that some people choose crappy partners again and again. Don't we all know a person who is always in a bad relationship? Not the OP, necessarily, since he ended it as soon as he found something was up:) ... but the people who seem to go back for more with a jerk of a lover...

Oddly, someone mentioned having heard about a lot of breakups... Valentines Day must be the culprit!

(oooh! I'm now a 6502! Have I posted that much?? oh dear!)

[jamesmcd]

Just make it look like a suicide.

Oh and beforehand you might want to force her to make a will and give everything to you. :cool:

[nitynate]

Just make it look like a suicide.


Also, put an empty bottle of pills near her body. Make her take an abundance crushed with her food all day. Cut her wrists with her own hands clenched around the blade (for fingerprint's sake) for an added effect. Suicide is fun. :)


haha. i am seriously kidding. kthx.

:p

[applekid]

Let's learn to use capitalization, punctuation, and decent grammar.

[lamina]

I just found out that the girl I was with for 2 years whom I broke up with about a month ago 'made out' with a guy shortly before we broke up...

Hmm.. what to do...

Oh I know...

I have her 250GB Lacie FW400 drive here... and she thinks I'm selling it on eBay for her...

Looks like I just upped my storage! Thanks babe!

[lamina]

This whole joke of killing and suicide and stuff is kinda disturbing... and remember what country the MacRumors server is hosted in... Homeland Security™ could be watching.

[YS2003]

I "might" disagree. What's his definition of "making out"? Did a guy kiss her on the mouth for a split second, or did she kiss this guy for 5, 10, 20 seconds at a time?


Let's ask Bill Clinton for that. My guess is 20-second kiss is not defined as a passionate kiss in Webster.

[zap2]

Sometimes the ads that accompany the forums are a tad.. erm.. insensitive. While reading this one, I noticed an ad for 'dating cheating wives.' :D .

YT

Wow...that is interesting!


But ya, you'll do better,


*Now off to that website, what was it cheatingwifes .org or .com?*

[jamesmcd]

What about Polonium-210 in her tea?

Not too sure though. Last time I used that I made a hell of a mess.

[phungy]

Just spike it her drink with plutonium and say its the new absinthe. :D :apple:

EDIT: Nevermind, thought plutonium glowed green but its silvery white..

[Prom1]

I play in a rock band..Guitar/Sing..And my band was doing a local show (Detroit).... My girlfriend was in the audience in the front and we were to maybe our 5th song when i loked down at the audience to see her Kissing some guy.. I immediatley had a sinking feeling and played very badly for the rest of the show...i didnt even want to play i jsut wanted to jump down there and break it up...my question is should i dump her i cant make up my mind i am only 18 and i think i lvoe her..would it be unreasonable of me to dump her for making a mistake am i over reacting? I dont know what to do.. please help?

This WHOLE Experience & decision process & ultimate decision should be your next hit song ;)

[Baron58]

This WHOLE Experience & decision process & ultimate decision should be your next hit song ;)


He's in a ROCK band, not <spit>country</spit>.

[Poseidon]

He's in a ROCK band, not <spit>country</spit>.

Hey, he's got a great start for the sterotypical country song though. All he needs is to insert a couple lines about his dog being run over and his truck getting smashed, and then add a mournfull chorus and he's good to go.

[dllavaneras]

I just found out that the girl I was with for 2 years whom I broke up with about a month ago 'made out' with a guy shortly before we broke up...

Hmm.. what to do...

Oh I know...

I have her 250GB Lacie FW400 drive here... and she thinks I'm selling it on eBay for her...

Looks like I just upped my storage! Thanks babe!

Sweet! There might even be some info worth exposing to the world...

[carbonmotion]

I'm not sure about the details of what happened since I didn't have a omni-view of your life. Even if I did, I'm not sure if I'd be in any position to judge anyone. I was never cheated on, but almost cheated once and I consider myself to be a moral and upstanding guy. While in some cases its pathological cheating, they may still be manifestations of mental illness, like borderline personality disorder. At they very minimum, they show that she's a very insecure person.

You can blame her all you want, its not going to change what happened. I think the best thing to do is to find some closure and move on. Stealing her **** as rightous retribution is certainly not going to help that. Just severe your ties and move on with your life, you're the better, morally upstanding person. Remember that!

[ecksmen]

I can't believe how harsh some people here are :(

You only know one side of the story. And it's full of ambiguities, which even the OP acknowledges.

All these revenge fantasies is so much juvenile BS. I hope you don't treat people that way in real life and are only acting out on the net.

Find out what really happened first. And always treat your gf/bf with respect. If you loved them once, how can you call them names now? It speaks very poorly of you. When I hear people talking horrible stuff about their ex's I always think "yeah, well, YOU picked her/him - if they're so bad, that doesn't speak well of your ability to judge character, why should I trust you judgment of them this time either?".

Be good to people. Even if they wronged you, you'll lose more if you treat them badly. You can always say: "She did me wrong, but I always treated her like a gentleman". That counts for what kind of human being you are.

There's a difference between being a gentlemen and being walked all over. Bitching about people is always a waste of time, but people do change. At the end of the day we're humans not robots, and have feelings.

[carbonmotion]

There's a difference between being a gentlemen and being walked all over. Bitching about people is always a waste of time, but people do change. At the end of the day we're humans not robots, and have feelings.

There's a difference between standing your ground and being a jerk. I understand that if you're 16 and getting your heart broken for the first time, the impulse to bad mouth the other person to make yourself feel better is tantalizing. But most of the posters here are not that young and should realize that fact. The bad mouthing, the theft/ destructive of material posession... their all hyper-masculine over compensation for the fact that you felt something for her/ maybe still feel something for her and she betrayed that feeling. You're hurt and you're trying to get over it through vindicative anger. But that won't let you get in touch with yourself and may in fact help permanently turn you in to a jerk. And... God know, the world doesn't need any more jerky guys. Take the high road and be a gentleman to her, if nothing else, it should mean some thing to you.

I didn't realize this until 20 and I'm only 22.

[carbonmotion]

Well here is an update... i went out last night (FRIDAY NIGHT WHEW) and iwas pretty much in a ****** mood but you know...i met a new girl...she thinks were friends..but not for much longer... i jsut know that if i am alone ill go crazy because ill keep thinking about her..maybe i need to occupy myself? i dont know..but one thing is for sure...you guys are funny...i drove by my old gfs house.... that a**holes car was there....and the war continues....its ok...i know the guy personally...my wonderful U.S. Government is sending him to Iraq this summer....thank Bush the f***** i thank him....

Maybe you need to chill. Try not to use some poor girl as a rebound. Being rebound sucks.

[TheDance511]

Well.... She lives on the same street as i do so everytime i leave i see her house...and let me tell you its not easy...i always see that guys car at her house and then i saw him once at best buy of all places...and he approached me and he said that he is sorry for what has happened and that it had to happen because he knows that hthey will find true love... andi go okay..well i hope you enjoy her...shes rly great... and i walked away.... i found closure somewhat btu it jsut aches all the time and i know you guys dont even have to say anyhting about this so i just appreciate this so very much and thank you... i just would like to say that ...im just getting my band together and trying to geto ver it mayeb at leastn ot make it hurt so much...but i am making strides so ya... i never thought this thread would go 5 pages though ..hahaha...

[devilot]

...and I go, "Okay, well I hope you enjoy her-- she's really great." And i walked away... I found closure somewhat but it just aches all the time.I'm glad you were calm and collected when he approached you.

That really is such a horrid situation to be in.

As far as aching all the time? I have a sinking feeling that you might be feeling that way for a bit longer. It's been about a month since my ex and I broke up, and I still get waves of panic at times. :o

[carbonmotion]

I'm glad you were calm and collected when he approached you.

That really is such a horrid situation to be in.

As far as aching all the time? I have a sinking feeling that you might be feeling that way for a bit longer. It's been about a month since my ex and I broke up, and I still get waves of panic at times. :o

It's interesting that you should bring that up. I've noticed that when i was 16-20, the few girls i dated all wanted to play around and I was immature enough to think i was in love and wanted to be with them forever. Then as I approached 23 I realized that its me that's unsure now and the girls, much smarter and prettier than the ones i dated in highschool, are really about commitments. Breakups nowadays are always really bad for the girl. I'm not sure why that is, but it certainly some thing worthy of academic research.

[raggedjimmi]

i know you probably don't want to hear this now, but i would have pointed her out to everyone through the mike "and to the whore, i mean - - - - kissing that schmuck in the middle, IT'S OVER!" :rolleyes:


Well that's what I would have done!

As for the whole rebound thing... well I was only 15 at the time but I was in a really good relationship. Nothing wrong with it, cept she had an internet "boyfriend" in Brazil too who she was certain she would meet one day. She was really beautiful, absolutely perfect. Then we both agreed it would be best for me to find someone else. I did! Her best mate. eep. we really got on quite well too. but one night, after a concert too (these keep cropping up huh!) the old girlfriend said "if you weren't seeing X I'd go out with you". Not to be confused with Dr. X. Anwyays. I dumped her the following day to which threw me into a situation where neither girl wanted to go out with me! ah well.

Next year I get into college, find a girl and spend the next 5 years in a funny relationship.

[raggedjimmi]

As far as aching all the time? I have a sinking feeling that you might be feeling that way for a bit longer. It's been about a month since my ex and I broke up, and I still get waves of panic at times. :o

A week doesn't go by that see's me and my girlfriend almost break up. I'm prone to panic attacks and I can always feel them rising. Hell I'm feeling one now, it's 4:36am and I can't sleep.
Funny too. I don't normally get upset when we argue. it's just like I know it will be okay or something.

[ebouwman]

Sorry to hear about that, TheDance511.

As you go through life, there will always be those women you look back on and wish you'd tried harder with.

She's not going to be one of them. Six years is a really long time, but be glad it wasn't 8, 10, or more. Yeah, the way she tried to around it around on you was horrid, but people do odd things when they're ashamed of their actions or embarrassed by being caught (as if she didn't know). What she did was bad, and to do it in front of you at a gig was terrible.

As much as it sucks, at least your eyes have been opened. Sorry, man.

as my history teacher once said, most people are good inside but when they do bad things they have to justify it in their mind somehow otherwise the fact that they're doing something terrible eats them inside and drives them crazy.

what she did was wrong, obviously, she may have said you were a bad boyfriend, maybe this was partially true, but if she had felt you were doing something that wasn't right, she should have told you or broken up with you a long time ago.

Not wanting to hurt your feelings is a bad excuse for not breaking up with you, because finding out after a year of her cheating on you hurts more than any break up.

[ebouwman]

You'll do that only because you'll see in her all the good things your ex didn't have. Take up a new hobby or activity, like going to the gym or something. It'll take your mind off women for a while.

what if there are women at the gym?:p

[QCassidy352]

Try not to use some poor girl as a rebound. Being rebound sucks.

Only if the girl thinks it's something bigger.

As far as aching all the time? I have a sinking feeling that you might be feeling that way for a bit longer. It's been about a month since my ex and I broke up, and I still get waves of panic at times. :o

When my gf of 4+ years and I broke up I felt sickening waves of sadness and panic for a few months before it started to get better. But it does get better.

[John Jacob]

When my gf of 4+ years and I broke up I felt sickening waves of sadness and panic for a few months before it started to get better. But it does get better.

A lot of you are mentioning panic. I can understand the sadness part; I felt miserable and sad and lonely and devastated at each of my break-ups, too. But panic? What for? Did you think the ex would come and attack you with an axe or something? I don't get it.

[dllavaneras]

what if there are women at the gym?:p

Well, go somewhere where you won't be tempted to hook up with women. Make new friends? Sure, why not. Get a rebound girl? You'd screw it all up. You'd use the girl and you'll feel like crap. Lay off dating women for a while ;)

[furious]

I think when they say "Panic" they mean felt insecure.

[TheDance511]

i wrote a song about it...with several **** u's in it...every one has feelings even low grungey jobless rockers like me...:rolleyes:

[carbonmotion]

i wrote a song about it...with several **** u's in it...every one has feelings even low grungey jobless rockers like me...:rolleyes: these feelings come and go, its part of youth. "Don't worry abou loosing this fish, there are plenty more bigger, better, tastier fish in the pond." Someone once told me that when I was younger and very heart broken. It's true. Everything heals with time.

[TheDance511]

Heh...I learned i have to control myself at least...im geting better and taking your advice to heart..but its just this feeling like i have this disgusting silk on me...im glad im so young though...and time goes on...im sure ill be okay:)

[carbonmotion]

Heh...I learned i have to control myself at least...im geting better and taking your advice to heart..but its just this feeling like i have this disgusting silk on me...im glad im so young though...and time goes on...im sure ill be okay:)

I'm not sure if you play any sports or run, I find that vigrous cardio on a daily basis helps endorphine production in the brain and keeps the depression at bay.

[PiP Dicatator]

Honestly man if a girl cheats on you it is because she has found something in somebody else that she cant find in you. Most likely she has gotten bored with you a simple tip I can give is that falling into the I Love You lets hug, kiss and talk about our day routine is what kills relationships.

Women like to be kept on their toes you need to surprise them every once in a while. I don't mean by her flowers I mean do something crazy an unexpected.

Life is very boring when you fall into a routine and so are relationships. In my opinion humans are not built for monogamy but out social structure is based on it and most people just follow. If you do choose to follow the socially acceptable path of monogamy don't let it become monotonous.

Let me tell you some things I do with girls that differentiate me from any other men in their lives.

Sometimes instead of doing the cliched movie and dinner I will take her to crash a wedding. I tell her to dress nice and I just show up to a strangers wedding. I walk in eat their food and make it a fun night, it instils a sense of danger and risk taking something women love.

This is a stupid one but when its raining instead of sending under cover I grab her hand and run into the rain.

I mean yeh it sounds stupid but it sets you apart and it keeps her thinking.

Other things like don't tell her all your secrets. Women love mystery and suspense never tell her everything about you even if you have been with her for 10 years. Keep thing hidden and make sure she knows they are hidden.

You might say i am an idiot but at the end of the day if there is one thing I am an expert on in this world it is women.

[carbonmotion]

Honestly man if a girl cheats on you it is because she has found something in somebody else that she cant find in you. Most likely she has gotten bored with you a simple tip I can give is that falling into the I Love You lets hug, kiss and talk about our day routine is what kills relationships.

Women like to be kept on their toes you need to surprise them every once in a while. I don't mean by her flowers I mean do something crazy an unexpected.

Life is very boring when you fall into a routine and so are relationships. In my opinion humans are not built for monogamy but out social structure is based on it and most people just follow. If you do choose to follow the socially acceptable path of monogamy don't let it become monotonous.

Let me tell you some things I do with girls that differentiate me from any other men in their lives.

Sometimes instead of doing the cliched movie and dinner I will take her to crash a wedding. I tell her to dress nice and I just show up to a strangers wedding. I walk in eat their food and make it a fun night, it instils a sense of danger and risk taking something women love.

This is a stupid one but when its raining instead of sending under cover I grab her hand and run into the rain.

I mean yeh it sounds stupid but it sets you apart and it keeps her thinking.

Other things like don't tell her all your secrets. Women love mystery and suspense never tell her everything about you even if you have been with her for 10 years. Keep thing hidden and make sure she knows they are hidden.

You might say i am an idiot but at the end of the day if there is one thing I am an expert on in this world it is women.

Thanks for your chicken soup advice... Moving on from catagorizing every women in to a single stereotype, let's try to look at women as individuals and stop essentializing them in to stereotypical roles. "Women like to..." is probably one of the crappiest statements I've heard used in locker room talk amongst guys. It's not an accurate model and if you actually believe in it, you're bound to get in to trouble because its a very surface level/ pop-culture interpretation.

[PiP Dicatator]

It is not a chicken soup recipe its a few ideas on how to alter your personality slightly to better fit with what women in general find attractive. You can say that breaking down the characteristics that women find attractive in men is stereotyping.

It is a generalization but women as a whole are more emotionally based and men are logically based. That is a fact so if you appeal to emotion instead of logic you are appealing to what women want. if you make her feel a whole range of emotion she egts hooked to you.

You say we cant put people into groups, look at women's magazines everything in there is targeted to emotions. You cant say every woman likes this or that but you can say in general women don't find monotony interesting they find excitement interesting. They do so more than us because it appeals to their emotions just like soaps, romance novels, magazines............

Women are individuals and each individual woman has her preferences but as a whole women are emotionally based. Appeal to her emotions, toy with her emotions and if you call that stereotyping you have no idea what you are talking about.

It is all around us women are different to men and most men either try to appeal to women as if they were men or try to appeal to them the way some idiot on a romantic comedy does. They can get on the right wave length it is simple you appeal to her emotions. That is why i say to surprise them and keep them on their toes because it causes a rush of emotions and they thrive on it.

[carbonmotion]

It is not a chicken soup recipe its a few ideas on how to alter your personality slightly to better fit with what women in general find attractive. You can say that breaking down the characteristics that women find attractive in men is stereotyping.


pop culture is just one factor... most of the things in women's magazines are attempting to socialize women with western white christian female values. which not all white christian females exibit. we can go back and forth on this ad nausem, but essentially, you can't say all women this and all women that. you can even say white women this white women that. how women behave and how men behave are affected by the variables of race, ethnicity, religion, culture, and degrees of western socialization. "Elle" and women's magazines in general are bad indicators for what women want. This stereotype that women are more emotional and men more logical is actually a by product of gender socialization in western society.

What you just said is probably pretty good indicator for what many men and women want in a westernized WASP culture. But it is by no means what all American women or men. That's pretty true based on both research and my own personal experiences.

I, personally, think when it comes to relationships, men are jus as irrational and emotional as women. We've just been socialized to hide it under the bullsh*t guise of logical stocism. And the the excitment and rush of adverturism in a relationship? In some respects, that's also a western cultural idealization. Even in the united states, if you actually get to know many women well, you will find differing opinions on that based on the previously mentioned factors of race, age, ethnicity, religion, culture... etc.

Another interesting note is that while american cutural imperialism has affected the way many countries look at themselves in cultural interaction, as far as I know, in the countries that I've been to the concept of romance and love still vary greatly. If you don't believe me, watch a Korean romantic drama and an American one and do a comparative study.

[TheDance511]

she cheated on me because thats what she finds to be exciting..she likes the "thrill" she probably did it because she felt and probably did it because she felt guilty about somethign she did earlier in the relationship...she was a ball of fire to say the least...however... i do like carbon motion's input a bit better...thank you carbon...she was a very demanding individual...and i got whati got ... as far as i know

[PiP Dicatator]

well i am not going to argue this who knows I probably get women because I make good money.... wait is that a stereotype?

LoL

Anyway well ok she finds cheating exciting maybe she had little excitement with you or maybe it wore out. I mean I do not know you or her so I can not really say anything with certainty. I just know when i ask a woman why she cheats she always says the same thing.... she is bored with her BF and cheating is exciting

Honestly I do not think humans are meant for monogamy I mean it seem unnatural. People look for monogamy because they are engineered to think that way.

Anyway

Bottom line is I have my views I think they are right and they have worked very well for me. You are not going to change them nor am I going to change yours so this argument is futile.

[TheDance511]

well i am not going to argue this who knows I probably get women because I make good money.... wait is that a stereotype?

LoL

Anyway well ok she finds cheating exciting maybe she had little excitement with you or maybe it wore out. I mean I do not know you or her so I can not really say anything with certainty. I just know when i ask a woman why she cheats she always says the same thing.... she is bored with her BF and cheating is exciting

Honestly I do not think humans are meant for monogamy I mean it seem unnatural. People look for monogamy because they are engineered to think that way.

Anyway

Bottom line is I have my views I think they are right and they have worked very well for me. You are not going to change them nor am I going to change yours so this argument is futile.

your advice was well thought out and very well researched from life experience no doubt..jsut not so encouraging when i feel like total **** but thank you :)

[dllavaneras]

Life is very boring when you fall into a routine and so are relationships.

Exactly. Get stuck in a rut and it's doomed.

This is a stupid one but when its raining instead of sending under cover I grab her hand and run into the rain.

This one works very well if that includes a kiss in a downpour. Try it, it's amazing!

But yes, women like to kept on their toes. I guess men like it too (I know I do). I'm not sure I'd crash a wedding, though

[the kid 05]

move on, there are only what 50 billion more fish in the sea? forget her.

who wants to date a fish thought? ;)

[carbonmotion]

well i am not going to argue this who knows I probably get women because I make good money.... wait is that a stereotype?

Bottom line is I have my views I think they are right and they have worked very well for me. You are not going to change them nor am I going to change yours so this argument is futile.

Falling for someone shouldn't have to be an act. If you're not a spontenous person, you're not spontenous person; pretending to be one to keep a girl is ridiculous. Unless of course, your motivation is to get ass much ass as possible.

If you're motivated by sex, then I guess your theory works. But not all men and women are motivated by sex. So, you have to account for the fact that the world isn't filled with people just like you.

but yeah i agree, this line of argument is pointless.

EDIT: actually as I give this some thought, your advice is pretty good for the OP as it is for the most part true for the demographic. It's just the way you framed it, soudned like all women in the world comform to these rules ...which is the only point that I was disagreeing with. In dealing with many many "American" women though, it's pretty good advice. It's probably good advice for women trying to get/ keep american men too...

I probably only protest because I've hit a batch of nice girls who want commitment from me ... that and I keep thinking of this french girl and this korean in london and shanghai respectively, I once dated. But, those cases are probably out of the context and needs of the OP, so I'm stretching.

[MarkCollette]

Falling for someone shouldn't have to be an act. If you're not a spontenous person, you're not spontenous person; pretending to be one to keep a girl is ridiculous. Unless of course, your motivation is to get ass much ass as possible.

Hopefully, it's a source of inspiration to be more spontaneous :)

Sometimes I'll spend more time researching things to do, to impress a girl, but then I'm glad I did, because I enjoyed those activities too.

[carbonmotion]

Hopefully, it's a source of inspiration to be more spontaneous :)

Sometimes I'll spend more time researching things to do, to impress a girl, but then I'm glad I did, because I enjoyed those activities too.

Once during an internship in shanghai, I meet this amazing girl from Korea and we took a 5000 mile train ride to tibet together on a whime. Needless to say, that ended any future prospects of future intership with that company. ever. fortunately, i wasn't going in to that field anyways.

but yeah, those weeks were an adventure that i'd never forget. we had nearly no pre-planning for the trip. To add to that she didn't speak english well and I spoke no korean, so we talked to each other in chinese which was awkward because neither of us were too good at it.

[TheDance511]

^ love=universal language

[kill-your-tv]

I play in a rock band..Guitar/Sing..And my band was doing a local show (Detroit).... My girlfriend was in the audience in the front and we were to maybe our 5th song when i loked down at the audience to see her Kissing some guy.. I immediatley had a sinking feeling and played very badly for the rest of the show...i didnt even want to play i jsut wanted to jump down there and break it up...my question is should i dump her i cant make up my mind i am only 18 and i think i lvoe her..would it be unreasonable of me to dump her for making a mistake am i over reacting? I dont know what to do.. please help?

That just plain sucks. Ask yourself if you liked the feeling in your stomach because you will definatly feel it many more times if you keep her. If I was in that possition it would be a no brainer. I would completly ignore her. She would be 100% dead to me. Dosen't mean that you won't have feelings for her. Shutting her out now will hurt alot, but looking ahead and making good choices now will define your character. You will benefit from future relationships because you have set boundries for youself and the person your involved with. Think of this as a learning curve. I firmly belive that a person is measured by their moral convictions. Morality is the only thing that sets us apart from animals. Just because you "love" your dog dosen't mean he "loves" you back. Good luck to you. Hope you will make he right choice.


Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace.
Oscar Wilde

[PiP Dicatator]

Well I live in Australia but an if Italian heritige and I spend 6 months out of a year in Europe. Generally it is the same deal over there but women are friendlier over there. You don't get the closed off stranger danger barrier with women.

Man I disagree dating is an act nobody reveals their true selves. Relationships get dull because the first you months are a lie and after a while you see the true person and they never live up.

Anyway that begin said I know some people are not spontaneous but what makes up out personalities?

A collection of memorise true or imagined. So if by 20 I am not spontaneous all it means is I haven't had the life experience or motivation to allow me to develop that quality. Now does that mean at 20 it is over I can continue to grow and adapt?

He should change his personality for the better if it is not working for him he should tweak it a little not much but just enough.

Anyway we all have our masks, our dating mask, our relationship mask, our friendship mask we are never our true selves when dealing with people. People I like wolves they exploit weaknesses in my line of work I can show any weakness but like everybody I do have them..... it is something I hide to better myself

Falling for someone shouldn't have to be an act. If you're not a spontenous person, you're not spontenous person; pretending to be one to keep a girl is ridiculous. Unless of course, your motivation is to get ass much ass as possible.

If you're motivated by sex, then I guess your theory works. But not all men and women are motivated by sex. So, you have to account for the fact that the world isn't filled with people just like you.

but yeah i agree, this line of argument is pointless.

EDIT: actually as I give this some thought, your advice is pretty good for the OP as it is for the most part true for the demographic. It's just the way you framed it, soudned like all women in the world comform to these rules ...which is the only point that I was disagreeing with. In dealing with many many "American" women though, it's pretty good advice. It's probably good advice for women trying to get/ keep american men too...

I probably only protest because I've hit a batch of nice girls who want commitment from me ... that and I keep thinking of this french girl and this korean in london and shanghai respectively, I once dated. But, those cases are probably out of the context and needs of the OP, so I'm stretching.

[carbonmotion]

Well I live in Australia but an if Italian heritige and I spend 6 months out of a year in Europe. Generally it is the same deal over there but women are friendlier over there. You don't get the closed off stranger danger barrier with women.

Man I disagree dating is an act nobody reveals their true selves. Relationships get dull because the first you months are a lie and after a while you see the true person and they never live up.

Anyway that begin said I know some people are not spontaneous but what makes up out personalities?

A collection of memorise true or imagined. So if by 20 I am not spontaneous all it means is I haven't had the life experience or motivation to allow me to develop that quality. Now does that mean at 20 it is over I can continue to grow and adapt?

He should change his personality for the better if it is not working for him he should tweak it a little not much but just enough.

Anyway we all have our masks, our dating mask, our relationship mask, our friendship mask we are never our true selves when dealing with people. People I like wolves they exploit weaknesses in my line of work I can show any weakness but like everybody I do have them..... it is something I hide to better myself

yo that was really hard to read.

[PiP Dicatator]

the markets had a strange day being presidents day in American an all so i only got 2 hours sleep in the past 48 hours excuse the misspelled words

[TheDance511]

the markets had a strange day being presidents day in American an all so i only got 2 hours sleep in the past 48 hours excuse the misspelled words


Is Australia anything like America? I have never been.
Obviously it has subtle differences...but is it rly diff

[PiP Dicatator]

America is very different you could almost split each state up into different personalities and they have a lot more racism. We don't have as much racism and people are more laid back but all in all we watch most;y American TV so its the same thing.

I like New York better than here but Europe is by far the best.

[islandman]

Sorry to hear :(.

Do as others said. Talk to her. If the story doesn't make sense, or if she indeed cheated on you, it's time to jump ship for good. NEVER go back if you leave.

[Apemanblues]

Morality is the only thing that sets us apart from animals.

and beer

and compact discs

and teh interweb

and quantum physics

and pork pies

Definitely pork pies, because some of the other apes also show compassion and altruism, but they don't have pork pies, so...

[TheDance511]

thanks for all your words of wisdom....i am talking to a new girl now...maybe somethign will happen who knows?

P.S. my ex's new bf is a **** he is an *** hole..hes like the guy that when you go to the store if there was an old lady with like 1 item and you had like 8574 items hed tell her to **** herself... (even though he would have everyright to go before her seeing as he was there first) but its jsut the idea ..jsut omg... ok im done with my little rant... :p

:D ....I am doing a microsoft office certification test here soon...wish me luck...maybe i can use my superior abilities in word to get a new gf:D