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View Full Version : "Livid woman torches ex-hubby's wedding tackle"


edesignuk
Aug 22, 2007, 08:40 AM
A Moscow man who ill-advisedly decided to sit watching telly in the nude in the flat he shared with his ex-missus earned himself a wedding-tackle-torching for his trouble, the Evening Standard reports.

The unnamed man's former wife evidently took exception to his vodka-swilling TV viewing, and duly set fire to his penis. A police spokeswoman admitted it was "difficult to predict" if the human candle would make a full recovery from the ordeal which he described as "monstrously painful".

He added: "I was burning like a torch. I don't know what I did to deserve this."

In case you're wondering, the couple divorced three years back, but continued to cohabit, an arrangement "common in Russia where property costs are very high".The Register (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/08/22/moscow_human_candle/).

xUKHCx
Aug 22, 2007, 08:44 AM
Not that I'm going to experiment but surely it doesn't just catch fire. So how could it be more than just a passing burn, unless he passed out from vodka.

edesignuk
Aug 22, 2007, 08:46 AM
Perhaps she threw his vodka over his junk, then set fire to it?

bartelby
Aug 22, 2007, 08:47 AM
Flamin' heck. I bet that hurt!!

mkrishnan
Aug 22, 2007, 08:50 AM
Do the Russians consider this a hate or sex crime?

And ... I'm amused by having never heard the term "wedding tackle" before. I clicked on this thread just because I had no idea wtf that was. :o

shecky
Aug 22, 2007, 08:50 AM
in Soviet Russia, penis burns YOU!

iBlue
Aug 22, 2007, 08:51 AM
K, I read this and I was like "WTF?!"

then I read this:
Perhaps she threw his vodka over his junk, then set fire to it?

and now I'm like "LMAO"

:D

</1337>

imac/cheese
Aug 22, 2007, 10:09 AM
Do the Russians consider this a hate or sex crime?

And ... I'm amused by having never heard the term "wedding tackle" before. I clicked on this thread just because I had no idea wtf that was. :o

I agree... my first thought was some sort of redneck wedding/fishing supplies. :D

Abstract
Aug 22, 2007, 11:29 AM
So what? This man won't go fishing for awhile. At least his penis wasn't burnt off or anything.

evilgEEk
Aug 22, 2007, 11:46 AM
That's definitely gonna leave a mark.

And have you people never seen Austin Powers??

Austin: That's fascinating, Vanessa. Listen, why don't we go into the back and shag?

Vanessa: I beg your pardon?

Austin: I've been frozen for thirty years, man, I want to see if my bits and pieces are still working.

Vanessa: Excuse me?

Austin: My wedding tackle.

Vanessa: I'm sorry?

Austin: My meat and two veg.

Father Jack
Aug 22, 2007, 11:49 AM
Austin: My meat and two veg.

I think the meat is slightly over done !!!! .... :eek:

notjustjay
Aug 22, 2007, 12:50 PM
Molotov cocktail, anyone? :eek:

mkrishnan
Aug 22, 2007, 12:56 PM
So what? This man won't go fishing for awhile. At least his penis wasn't burnt off or anything.

So what? If a man committed an act of genital mutilation against a woman, it wouldn't be okay... there are all kinds of recourses for a bad marriage, even in Russia, besides acts of brutal violence.

MacNut
Aug 22, 2007, 02:32 PM
Id take a little burn over a Bobbit.:p:eek:

Jaffa Cake
Aug 22, 2007, 03:15 PM
Not the first story you've posted regarding genital injuries (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=344508) over the past day or two, e is there something you're trying to tell us? ;)

MacNut
Aug 22, 2007, 03:19 PM
Maybe we should ask Mrs e.:p

Pani
Aug 22, 2007, 04:26 PM
So what? If a man committed an act of genital mutilation against a woman, it wouldn't be okay... there are all kinds of recourses for a bad marriage, even in Russia, besides acts of brutal violence.

That is a valid point mkishnan. I just covered domestic violence today in my classes. If the situation were reversed and it was the woman burned, no one would be joking about it. In fact, one of the things we discussed is the growing violence against men as gender roles changed. When it happens, they often have to face ridicule as well as physical pain. Fair is fair, and as you said, there are all kinds of other recourses besides violence.

"I first learned the principles of nonviolence in my marriage." Gandhi
(I am not sure this is an exact quote, but it captures the essense of his intentions. Besides, you are all to busy joking to notice anyway!)

vicious7
Aug 22, 2007, 04:47 PM
:eek: I don't know what to say except maybe be vigilant protecting your junk.

psychofreak
Aug 22, 2007, 04:54 PM
So what? If a man committed an act of genital mutilation against a woman, it wouldn't be okay... there are all kinds of recourses for a bad marriage, even in Russia, besides acts of brutal violence.

It was a play on the word tackle as fishing tackle...as if abstract misunderstood...

Dagless
Aug 22, 2007, 08:12 PM
mkishnan and Pani pretty much got it across for me.

Abstract
Aug 22, 2007, 08:47 PM
It was a play on the word tackle as fishing tackle...as if abstract misunderstood...

*blush* I had no idea. Thank you for informing me of my mistake, psychofreak. Dreadfully embarrassing.




*cough*

mkrishnan
Aug 22, 2007, 09:03 PM
*cough*

Sorry for being baited. ;)

Iscariot
Aug 22, 2007, 10:42 PM
There's certainly a powerful double-standard in place when it comes to spousal abuse (of the mental, physical or sexual kind). Very few studies have shown men to be more frequently aggressive than women, and there's a massive disparity between aquittal rates and sentencing between male and female offenders.

One of the reasons it may not be taken as seriously is that men are more receptive to cruel and crude humour, and are more likely to find humour in a painful situation.

yoda13
Aug 22, 2007, 11:14 PM
I agree... my first thought was some sort of redneck wedding/fishing supplies. :D
This is what I thought too....:cool:

angelneo
Aug 23, 2007, 01:43 AM
I should fish out that article where the wife actually cut off his junk. I think it's in India?

iBlue
Aug 23, 2007, 02:49 AM
Not the first story you've posted regarding genital injuries (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=344508) over the past day or two, e is there something you're trying to tell us? ;)
Maybe we should ask Mrs e.:p
I haven't been feeling well the last couple of days, perhaps he's feeling neglected/tormented. :o :p

Anyway... moving on....

Thomas Veil
Aug 30, 2007, 09:31 AM
Lotta guys tell their women, "Baby, my ____'s on fire!" First time I've ever actually heard of it happening, though.

Bad enough when Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband's. Now we've got penile immolation. I'm afraid to ask how the next one will be done.

Hammer? :eek:

displaced
Aug 30, 2007, 10:34 AM
Lotta guys tell their women, "Baby, my ____'s on fire!"

Surely not whilst keeping a straight face?

pilotError
Aug 30, 2007, 01:23 PM
Who blew out the fire? :eek:

Peterkro
Aug 30, 2007, 01:28 PM
I should fish out that article where the wife actually cut off his junk. I think it's in India?

In Thailand it happens more than you might think,Thai surgeons are getting very skilled at reattaching penis's.

http://www.abc.net.au/am/stories/s109598.htm

MarkCollette
Aug 30, 2007, 07:10 PM
What's the point in getting divorced if you still live together? How messed up is the dating scene over there, where you have to hang out with the ex while you wait for your date to get ready?

teflon
Aug 30, 2007, 08:20 PM
Well maybe they don't have enough money to live separately / can't find a good living arrangement at the moment. Marriage is an emotional attachment, living together is just physical. So it's like having a roommate, but you used to be involved. It's better than being in an unhappy marriage.

MarkCollette
Aug 31, 2007, 12:20 PM
Well maybe they don't have enough money to live separately / can't find a good living arrangement at the moment. Marriage is an emotional attachment, living together is just physical. So it's like having a roommate, but you used to be involved. It's better than being in an unhappy marriage.

If two couple divorce, why don't the two women become room mates and the two guys become room mates? There doesn't really seem to be a valid reason for it to be typical for ex couples to remain together unless they're not fully untangled, in which case why would a single person want to become involved in that?

But let's say you're right, and they're fully distinct. I still don't see the point, because living together is 80% of the interactions of being a couple. So you're not being intimate, and are not emotionally involved, but you still have to deal with each others personalities and habits.

Chrismcfall
Aug 31, 2007, 12:52 PM
Ouch. Pretty crazy.

teflon
Aug 31, 2007, 06:44 PM
If two couple divorce, why don't the two women become room mates and the two guys become room mates? There doesn't really seem to be a valid reason for it to be typical for ex couples to remain together unless they're not fully untangled, in which case why would a single person want to become involved in that?

But let's say you're right, and they're fully distinct. I still don't see the point, because living together is 80% of the interactions of being a couple. So you're not being intimate, and are not emotionally involved, but you still have to deal with each others personalities and habits.

True, not many people would want to live with their ex, unless it's a really amicable split. However, you can't always find someone else who just happened to got divorced, can't afford to live on their own, and is in search of a roommate. Plus, who moves out? Maybe their house is better than their roommate's.
If they're just roommates, they don't really need to deal with each other's personalities, and not even habits if they set some rules. Such as - clean up after yourself, divide the house into your own territories that you can do whatever in, split the fridge etc. So they don't really need to deal with each other too much. They no longer have to clean up after one another, argue on decorating styles, what to eat, or deal with each other's mood swings and such. So all in all, it's still a better solution.
It is quite strange that the man would be naked though knowing that his ex-wife would be coming back and they're no longer involved.

MarkCollette
Sep 1, 2007, 01:28 PM
True, not many people would want to live with their ex, unless it's a really amicable split. However, you can't always find someone else who just happened to got divorced, can't afford to live on their own, and is in search of a roommate. Plus, who moves out? Maybe their house is better than their roommate's.
If they're just roommates, they don't really need to deal with each other's personalities, and not even habits if they set some rules. Such as - clean up after yourself, divide the house into your own territories that you can do whatever in, split the fridge etc. So they don't really need to deal with each other too much. They no longer have to clean up after one another, argue on decorating styles, what to eat, or deal with each other's mood swings and such. So all in all, it's still a better solution.
It is quite strange that the man would be naked though knowing that his ex-wife would be coming back and they're no longer involved.

How often is divorce amicable? :) There is no such thing as having your own territories so that you don't have to clean up after one another, unless you each have your own kitchen, living room, and bathroom. Messy people tend to mess up more than just their room, they spread it to all the common areas as well.

My theory (not knowing anything at all :)) is that the guy is a frustrating slob. The woman divorces him thinking she'll be free of his crap. Years later, he's still there, sitting around naked, eating the food, leaving his mess everywhere. She can't bring over her friends, let alone any new guys, because of his naked ass. Probably the whole living room smells of his ball sweat. Lord knows my place would, if I sat around naked all day hahaha.

Just got lost in thought at the horror of coming home to ball sweat day after day... Where was I? Oh well, you get the point :D

teflon
Sep 2, 2007, 04:46 PM
Yeah actually that makes sense. I can see how that's frustrating and just a little gross :p. I don't get why the ex-wife didn't set up some rules like no being naked in the common living area though. I guess the husband wasn't really a co-operative roommate.