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edesignuk
Feb 13, 2009, 03:33 AM
A meatworker in New Zealand who accidentally cut his hand off with a saw had the operation to reattach it complicated by the fact that he'd previously cut the same arm off in a previous accident.

Bryan Speers almost completely severed his left hand at the wrist while cutting a flap of meat with a bandsaw at Crusader Meats in Benneydale, in the Waiakato district of New Zealand's North Island.

He told the New Zealand Herald: 'I just grabbed my hand and walked down to the office swearing my head off ... I really thought I was going to die.' Metro (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Man_cuts_hand_off_for_second_time&in_article_id=531194&in_page_id=2).

Ouch.

skunk
Feb 13, 2009, 03:37 AM
Perhaps he should consider a change of career.

iBlue
Feb 13, 2009, 03:48 AM
"Colleagues taped the hand back on" - real brilliance they have working there, it seems.

edesignuk
Feb 13, 2009, 03:51 AM
"Colleagues taped the hand back on" - real brilliance they have working there, it seems.I know.

...I'd have used a staple gun.

schizoidwoman
Feb 13, 2009, 04:09 AM
At least he's consistent...

RedTomato
Feb 13, 2009, 05:10 AM
Loving the picture caption.

remmy
Feb 13, 2009, 06:37 AM
you've got to hand it to him


what, no bad jokes yet?

iBlue
Feb 13, 2009, 06:42 AM
you've got to hand it to him


what, no bad jokes yet?

I don't think he can handle any more cutting remarks.

Peterkro
Feb 13, 2009, 06:48 AM
Metro subs strike again,Waikato. The word almost seems to have escaped them as well:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/4846784a11.html

(actual I retract the almost bit I didn't read it properly)

DoFoT9
Feb 13, 2009, 06:54 AM
At least he's consistent...


or maybe persistent?

Shoesy
Feb 13, 2009, 01:20 PM
You've got hand it to him / that was handy / he doesn't exactly sound like a handyman / You'd have thought someone would have given him a hand / maybe he should have been awristed / was it a second hand saw? / was he caught red handed / did they keep it in his handbag / hand hand hand hand hand

joepunk
Feb 13, 2009, 05:49 PM
On the other hand, why didn't he wait until he was already at hospital to cut off his hand?

referring to the thread about guy who shoots himself while at hospital

mkrishnan
Feb 13, 2009, 05:51 PM
or maybe persistent?

Well, in the end, they put it back on, didn't they? You know what they say. Third time's the arm.

RedTomato
Feb 13, 2009, 06:08 PM
On the other hand, why didn't he wait until he was already at hospital to cut off his hand?

referring to the thread about guy who shoots himself while at hospital

Cos then they'd charge him an arm AND a leg.

<--(runs and hides)

DoFoT9
Feb 13, 2009, 06:09 PM
well har-de-har-har

Schtumple
Feb 13, 2009, 06:21 PM
I love these threads, never for the story, always for the puns :p

IJ Reilly
Feb 13, 2009, 06:46 PM
Perhaps he should consider a change of career.

Just when he's getting good at it?

skunk
Feb 13, 2009, 06:48 PM
I suppose it's armless enough.

joepunk
Feb 13, 2009, 07:05 PM
I could've handled it better.

Doctor Q
Feb 13, 2009, 07:13 PM
Britney Spears cut her hand off? This is gonna be big news in Hollywood.

Oh wait, Bryan Speers. Never mind.

Abstract
Feb 13, 2009, 11:39 PM
How did he cut his arm off? Did he fall asleep and fall forward while cutting meat or something?

iParis
Feb 13, 2009, 11:50 PM
WOW. Epic failure. How does one have the strength to just "pick his hand up" that is falling off of his body?!

IJ Reilly
Feb 14, 2009, 01:03 AM
His boss asked him to knuckle down.

RedTomato
Feb 14, 2009, 04:31 AM
This is meat. That is arm.

No, wait... this is arm, that is meat.

No! Arm. Meat. Arm. Meat.

Meat, meet arm. Arm, meet meat.

See saw. See saw armed.

Saw saw meet meat, miss meat, meet arm.

See armed saw makes arm missing meat.

<clunk>

<wails>

Keebler
Feb 14, 2009, 06:58 AM
omg.

do they have an amazing worker's compensation pkg there?

I wouldn't let that guy back on the job in order to save his life (and limbs).

DoFoT9
Feb 14, 2009, 08:32 AM
**confusing

<clunk>

<wails>

what does that even mean!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Counterfit
Feb 14, 2009, 01:22 PM
How do you manage to cut off your HAND with a band saw?

This is meat. That is arm.

No, wait... this is arm, that is meat.

No! Arm. Meat. Arm. Meat.

Meat, meet arm. Arm, meet meat.

See saw. See saw armed.

Saw saw meet meat, miss meat, meet arm.

See armed saw makes arm missing meat.

<clunk>

<wails>

BRILLIANT!

Abstract
Feb 14, 2009, 05:31 PM
This is meat. That is arm.

No, wait... this is arm, that is meat.

No! Arm. Meat. Arm. Meat.

Meat, meet arm. Arm, meet meat.

See saw. See saw armed.

Saw saw meet meat, miss meat, meet arm.

See armed saw makes arm missing meat.

<clunk>

<wails>

Is that a quote from "Dude, Where's My Arm?"

Lord Blackadder
Feb 15, 2009, 11:20 AM
This has gotten totally out of hand.

apsterling
Feb 15, 2009, 11:30 AM
I saw what you did there!

iParis
Feb 15, 2009, 11:54 AM
This has gotten totally out of hand.

AHAHAH! You made a funny!

bobfitz14
Feb 15, 2009, 12:11 PM
I love these threads, never for the story, always for the puns :p

i agree, though the stories themselves are funny/odd/interesting. :p

IJ Reilly
Feb 15, 2009, 12:16 PM
This has gotten totally out of hand.

You shoulder known better.

aquajet
Feb 15, 2009, 01:09 PM
Surely he saw this one coming. I guess you just can't blade the inevitable.

RedTomato
Feb 15, 2009, 01:28 PM
Forewarned is no-armed.

IJ Reilly
Feb 15, 2009, 03:00 PM
Not another cutting remark.

EmperorDarius
Feb 15, 2009, 03:05 PM
http://www.amazing-animations.com/animations/hands.gif

PlaceofDis
Feb 15, 2009, 03:14 PM
he might need another job, or perhaps better working conditions. probably the latter, but that has to be very traumatizing to go through.

iJohnHenry
Feb 15, 2009, 05:05 PM
I wish this thread would just go away.

Now if he cuts off his dick, before procreating, then I am interested, otherwise, meh.

Doctor Q
Feb 15, 2009, 05:07 PM
When they make the movie, what will happen when the director yells "Cut!" ?

Shadow
Feb 16, 2009, 02:44 PM
At least he's (almost) 'armless now.

Dont Hurt Me
Feb 16, 2009, 03:24 PM
Perhaps he should consider a change of career.
LOL, thats just what i was thinking. thinks though for the laugh skunk.