Apple Unveils new, thinner, Steve Jobs

[DustyLBottoms]

My own invention, ala The Onion;

Apple Unveils new, thinner, Steve Jobs

California(ONN) - In a much waited for media event, Apple today showed off it's newest version of their wildy popular CEO, Steve Jobs. After not seeing an update for over a year, and with Mac forums and gossip sites buzzing with rumors about new features, Apple finally unveiled Steve Jobs 3.0.

"When we dropped the original Steve Jobs back in 1985 we didn't think people would miss it much." Says Tim Cook, COO of Apple. "But after acquiring the Jobs line again with the purchase of NeXT in '97 people just started associating Apple & Jobs together."

Apple stopped sales of the previous Jobs model last October to focus on the core features that consumers want in Jobs 3.0.

Tim Cook - "We really went back the the basics, so many times CEOs tend to become bloatware over the years, using too many resources. But we were able to slim this version down quite a bit, we're using a new model of the liver as well - but we've kept the iconic black exterior. I think consumers will be all over Jobs 3.0 this holiday season."

[jessica.]

Leave it alone. Why not have a liver transplant and see how you're feeling < 6 months later?

[techfreak85]

ya srsly, not cool

[Bostonaholic]

Hey, I thought it was pretty good.

My own invention, ala The Onion;

Apple Unveils new, thinner, Steve Jobs

California(ONN) - In a much waited for media event, Apple today showed off it's newest version of their wildy popular CEO, Steve Jobs. After not seeing an update for over a year, and with Mac forums and gossip sites buzzing with rumors about new features, Apple finally unveiled Steve Jobs 3.0.

"When we dropped the original Steve Jobs back in 1985 we didn't think people would miss it much." Says Tim Cook, COO of Apple. "But after acquiring the Jobs line again with the purchase of NeXT in '97 people just started associating Apple & Jobs together."

Apple stopped sales of the previous Jobs model last October to focus on the core features that consumers want in Jobs 3.0.

Tim Cook - "We really went back the the basics, so many times CEOs tend to become bloatware over the years, using too many resources. But we were able to slim this version down quite a bit, we're using a new model of the liver as well - but we've kept the iconic black exterior. I think consumers will be all over Jobs 3.0 this holiday season."

Not so sure about that part...if you catch my drift.

[huntnboy04]

tread easy dusty bottoms, quoting someone them having not said it, lawsuit.

[kindablue09]

XKCD did a strip with the same idea and punch-line as the Onion article around the time when apple introduced the umb/ubmbp. It wasn't that funny then either. Don't get me wrong, all the parts of the a good joke are there, but when you think about the suffering the guy had to go through it becomes less funny.

But what do I know, laughing at other's misery seems to be the in thing these days... And who am I to say that Jobs doesn't find this funny.

Link to the XKCD comic
http://xkcd.com/527/

[Melrose]

Hm. I don't find that amusing in the least. It wouldn't be any different had it been Bill Gates, either. Putting someone's health problems on the line for entertainment isn't kosher.

[DustyLBottoms]

tread easy dusty bottoms, quoting someone them having not said it, lawsuit.

Actually, not really. Satirical websites like the Onion do it all the time.

I thought you all were grown up enough to appreciate the humor here. God knows if I had done the same with Bill Gates you would have eaten it up.

:rolleyes:

[Unspoken Demise]

Yes, liver transplant jokes are always a hit. Why dont you go run the same joke by a jaundice patient and Im sure it will deliver the lulz. See if you make it out of the room, you know, if they have the strength to chase you down.

[Bostonaholic]

Honestly, I wasn't even thinking about Jobs' health condition while reading the joke. Yes, if it is in fact a punch at his current health condition, that is tasteless, but I didn't take it as such.

[Kristenn]

Umm... yeah. I agree. I dont think it would have been any funnier if it was about someone else. I do like jokes... but I guess jokes about peoples health are just.. well.. not so funny to me ><

[abijnk]

Actually, not really. Satircal websites like the Onion do it all the time.

I thought you all were grown up enough to apppreciate the humor here. God knows if I had done the same with Bill Gates you would have eaten it up.

:rolleyes:

Grown up enough to poke fun at someone's health issues? :confused:

[Consultant]

I think it's sort of funny actually.

Also a few things that are already mentioned.

[NT1440]

Actually, not really. Satircal websites like the Onion do it all the time.

I thought you all were grown up enough to apppreciate the humor here. God knows if I had done the same with Bill Gates you would have eaten it up.

:rolleyes:

Making fun of serious medical issues related to cancer is grown up?:confused::rolleyes:

As for the underlined, don't tell me what the **** I think. It wouldn't be funny to me even if it was a murderer in jail, suffering is suffering.

[kellen]

Tough crowd.

[pivo6]

Tough crowd.

Not really. If something isn't funny, it just isn't funny. That's all.

[sikkinixx]

I chuckled. OP wasn't being cruel or anything. People are so PC nowadays, reminds me of when I saw George Carlin in concert do his bit on cancer and seeing people walk out all offended.

[IBradMac]

At least the thread title isn't misleading. ;)

[NT1440]

I chuckled. OP wasn't being cruel or anything. People are so PC nowadays, reminds me of when I saw George Carlin in concert do his bit on cancer and seeing people walk out all offended.

It has nothing to do with being PC, bad taste is bad taste.

[Leareth]

I thought it was pretty funny.

It was almost asking for that.

Unlike most americans, Jobs has a choice of going back to work or taking longer off to heal up properly.
add to it that he essentially skipped the line to get a transplant.

[NT1440]

I thought it was pretty funny.

It was almost asking for that.

Unlike most americans, Jobs has a choice of going back to work or taking longer off to heal up properly.
add to it that he essentially skipped the line to get a transplant.

I take it you don't understand how the system works....

[Leareth]

I take it you don't understand how the system works....

Actually yes I do.
Some of my closest and dearest have received transplants: heart, valves, skin, cornea, liver and kidneys.

Look at which hospital and centre he was at.
and their policies
where $ and good insurance makes a diff in the decision process.

not the best link but covers it well : http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/06/24/liver.transplant.priority.lists/index.html

[justaregularjoe]

not anywhere close to being funny.

Also, Leareth, maybe a touch more research beyond Googling "Steve Jobs rich bastard stealing people's livers" :p In the "Related Articles", we find:

Steve Jobs: The sickest patient on the waiting list
"He received a liver transplant [first] because he was the patient with the highest MELD score (Model for End-Stage Liver Disease) of his blood type..."

So... Yeah.

Orig. Art. here (http://brainstormtech.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2009/06/24/steve-jobs-the-sickest-patient-on-the-waiting-list/)

[LethalWolfe]

Amusing, but then again I don't consider Jobs Jesus nor Apple in general as some sort of holy grail.


Also, Leareth, maybe a touch more research beyond Googling "Steve Jobs rich bastard stealing people's livers" :p In the "Related Articles", we find:

So... Yeah.

Orig. Art. here (http://brainstormtech.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2009/06/24/steve-jobs-the-sickest-patient-on-the-waiting-list/)
So the fact that Jobs has the ways and means to travel all over the country to be evaluated by multiple doctors to get on multiple transplant lists and, in a worst case scenario, could easily pay for a liver transplant out of pocket if his insurance didn't cover it didn't give him any sort of leg up over your Average Joe in getting a new liver? Seriously?

I don't blame Jobs for doing everything he could w/in the confines of what's legal to get a new liver ASAP but you can't pretend he was just another guy on the waiting list. It wasn't luck that enabled him to get a new liver in about 4 months when then national average is just over 12.


Lethal

[maflynn]

Not funny, making fun of someone's ailments and health issues are never funny.

[joelovesapple]

Well I've had a transplant myself and I found it hilarious!!

Lighten up some of you, jeez. :rolleyes: Laughing is the best remedy, didn't somebody once say?

[iPhone 62S]

Ahh you lot have no sense of homour. :D

I laughed, but I laughed a lot harder at this: (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/section/news/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1843&Itemid=79)
APPLE boss Steve Jobs was last night recovering well despite being forced to accept a transplanted liver that was badly designed and with limited scope for expensive upgrades.

The billionaire businessman had asked medical staff at the hospital in Tennessee to find him a liver that was small, sleek, beautifully white and effortlessly stylish.

But after six months of searching he was forced to accept that a liver is an ugly, misshapen purple blob with the unmistakable look and feel of a large piece of slippery meat.

Dr Tom Logan, the hospital's director of livers, said: "He gave us a sketch of his ideal liver and I have to admit that if livers were made of shiny, moulded plastic it would have changed the way we use livers forever.

"He then asked if the liver could at least be transplanted inside a sleek, white box with a small LED screen and a single white button that activates each of its 243 functions, but we said no, if we did that he would die incredibly quickly.

"While his new liver may not have the exciting functionality and sleek user interface of an iPod, an iPhone or an iSpleen, it is quite good at plasma protein synthesis, hormone production and detoxification, which is pretty much what you want a liver to do."

Dr Logan said that if the hospital had used Mr Jobs' liver design, 'it would be bit like designing a mobile phone which could take photographs, surf the internet and give you directions to trendy restaurants, but would not actually be a particularly good phone'.

Despite its lack of sleekness Jobs is understood to be fascinated by his new liver and has asked Pixar, his hi-tech animation studio, to begin developing Organ Story, the touching tale of a young boy who keeps a box full of kidneys under his bed.

Dr Logan added: "We gave him a liver which basically does the same thing as all the other livers but charged him twice as much as all the other hospitals. I'm sure he won't mind."

:p

[TuffLuffJimmy]

Not funny, making fun of someone's ailments and health issues are never funny.

I take it you've never heard a Helen Keller joke.

[iPhone 62S]

tread easy dusty bottoms, quoting someone them having not said it, lawsuit.

Quoting someone when they didn't actually say it for satrical purposes is fine.

[NT1440]

I take it you've never heard a Helen Keller joke.

Hellen Keller jokes are funny?:confused:

If anything theyre incredibly lame.

[TuffLuffJimmy]

If anything theyre incredibly lame.

bud'um *crash*?

Not everyone shares the same sense of humor, and it is pretty egocentric to assume you have the right sense of humor.

[Vogue Harper]

Quoting someone when they didn't actually say it for satrical purposes is fine.

Correct - otherwise it would be impossible to have those caption competitions where you have to suggest what was said between people in a photograph.

[Signal-11]

bud'um *crash*?

Not everyone shares the same sense of humor, and it is pretty egocentric to assume you have the right sense of humor.

No, but poor taste is poor taste. If I showed up at your mother's funeral and made jokes about her finally being able to take it without complaining that it's too big, that wouldn't be socially acceptable, would it?

It's egocentric to assume that all humor is appropriate at all times, just because yours and mine may differ. That's the mentality of a child.

And to those who are babbling about those who don't find this kind of humor funny being too "PC." If I called you guys mongoloid retards because you can't tell the difference between good taste and "political correctness," that would be un-PC. If, on the other hand, I called you guys developmentally challenged idiots, I would be more PC, yet still be making insults in poor taste.

[TuffLuffJimmy]

No, but poor taste is poor taste. If I showed up at your mother's funeral and made jokes about her finally being able to take it without complaining that it's too big, that wouldn't be socially acceptable, would it?
First that's a strawman argument. I'm not saying this is anything but poor taste, but to some poor taste is their favorite humor.

It's egocentric to assume that all humor is appropriate at all times, just because yours and mine may differ. That's the mentality of a child.
Please explain how that is egocentric? It's not. wrong place/wrong time has nothing to do with egocentricity. Steve Jobs is a public figure and as such will always, no matter the situation, be prone to satire. Hell how many people were making Michael Jackson jokes when he died? Plenty, and yes it was poor taste, but I doubt you raised so much of a fuss about that. And that guy ****ing died, man. Even jokes at Hitler's expense are in poor taste, the guy died tragically!

And to those who are babbling about those who don't find this kind of humor funny being too "PC." If I called you guys mongoloid retards because you can't tell the difference between good taste and "political correctness," that would be un-PC. Good taste is all opinion. Who are you to say you're opinion is right? Talk about a superiority complex!
If, on the other hand, I called you guys developmentally challenged idiots, I would be more PC, yet still be making insults in poor taste.

I think this speaks for itself, when on the subject of egocentricity.

In fact I guess I'm missing what's so awful about the OP. Steve Jobs is known for minor eccentricities. And it is rather ironic that he's gotten so thin when he's spent years at Apple trying to get things as thin as possible.

[iPhone 62S]

I laugh at the people who complain about "offensive" jokes because most of the time, the people or person the joke was about actually didn't mind it at all! For example, pretty much everything Jeremy Clarkson ever says! You always get groups claiming to represent people that complain, but the people themselves probably just laughed!

[Melrose]

Wow. I never thought this thread would turn into a debate over political correctness, given the amount of folks posting the same opinion in the first half of page 1. :eek:

Some of us really do love to argue.

[Iscariot]

Some of us really do love to argue.

No we don't!

[ob81]

Not really funny to me, but only because the joke has pretty much already been made. Some people think that it is funny, and some people don't.

In the end,who really cares?

[Signal-11]

First that's a strawman argument. I'm not saying this is anything but poor taste, but to some poor taste is their favorite humor.


Please explain how that is egocentric? It's not. wrong place/wrong time has nothing to do with egocentricity. Steve Jobs is a public figure and as such will always, no matter the situation, be prone to satire. Hell how many people were making Michael Jackson jokes when he died? Plenty, and yes it was poor taste, but I doubt you raised so much of a fuss about that. And that guy ****ing died, man. Even jokes at Hitler's expense are in poor taste, the guy died tragically!

Good taste is all opinion. Who are you to say you're opinion is right? Talk about a superiority complex!


I think this speaks for itself, when on the subject of egocentricity.

In fact I guess I'm missing what's so awful about the OP. Steve Jobs is known for minor eccentricities. And it is rather ironic that he's gotten so thin when he's spent years at Apple trying to get things as thin as possible.

LOL. I give you a D for originality and a C- effort. Keep trying, kid.

[TuffLuffJimmy]

LOL. I give you a D for originality and a C- effort. Keep trying, kid.

I'm not going to be shaken by belittlement. If you can't come up with a counterargument I believe I just won. ;)

[Hissori]

I think its kinda funny. Its pretty light humour... its not something that totally destroys steve and his problems.

But after reading this thread... you probably shouldve posted it on a windows forum haha.

[LethalWolfe]

No, but poor taste is poor taste. If I showed up at your mother's funeral and made jokes about her finally being able to take it without complaining that it's too big, that wouldn't be socially acceptable, would it?
What constitutes poor taste and social acceptability is incredibly subjective so, no, poor taste isn't poor taste.


Lethal