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Are You An Introvert or an Extrovert?
- Thread starter appleguy123
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While there are clearly many introverts who possess these attributes, I don't think they are *more likely* to possess them.
Agreed, I think one's IQ or ability to succeed is not really based on your introvertness.
I did read some studies where they found that many programmers/computer type folks tend to be introverted.
While not a conclusive test buy my group went through a myers-briggs test and all 14 out of 15 people in my group were shown to be introverted. Some like myself quite a lot (I won the prize as the most introverted
) and some only had some tendencies towards introvertedness.
I can only disagree.
The introverts I know are talented (personally I put this down to aspergers, dyslexia amplifying their skills) but the extroverts in my life are the ones who run businesses and are successful.
My parents are extroverted and their kids (my siblings and I) all turned out quite well, we're all confident and have positive, go-getter attitudes for it.
YMMV.
Agreed, I think one's IQ or ability to succeed is not really based on your introvertness.
I did read some studies where they found that many programmers/computer type folks tend to be introverted.
While not a conclusive test buy my group went through a myers-briggs test and all 14 out of 15 people in my group were shown to be introverted. Some like myself quite a lot (I won the prize as the most introverted
I've been testing my group of friends today. We have all been introverted so far.
Anybody who knows me would tell you I'm an extravert. I just love people and constantly meeting new people and making new friends.
I just love people and constantly meeting new people and making new friends.
Introverted. I even blog about it sometimes on my website.
Yes, I am an introvert and I like it.
I just did the MBTI test on a site linked from the OP's NYT article. My result was this and it described me quite well.
INTP
Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical.
Yes, I am an introvert and I like it.
I just did the MBTI test on a site linked from the OP's NYT article. My result was this and it described me quite well.
INTP
Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical.
It's only been 7 years.... time to rise from the dead, this thread.
Recently, I've been taking a bit more notice of how some activities, such as driving wears me out mentally. My typical drive is only a few miles since I live 2 miles from work. But I regularly have to drive about the state for meetings, training or conferences and such. If I can, I tend to stick to the 55 mph highways or the scenic route if you will. I'll avoid the expressways, at least the major ones, when I can. But I've found that when I do take them and driving at 70 or 75 mph and negotiating all the traffic, potential threats and such really takes it out of me.
When I get back home or to the office I find that I really need some time to decompress from all the constant analyzing my brain is doing to get me to my destination and get there safely. It becomes hard to focus and I need an hour or two at least of just rest, not really reading anything, writing anything or speaking with anyone just to get the frazzled feeling in my mind to calm down.
Just too much stimulation.
But when I take the scenic route and drive slower and have less traffic to deal with, the recovery period is greatly reduced.
The feeling is not unlike being around a large group of people at a gathering and having to engage with them and socialize with them. If I stick around for too long in those types of situations I come away with the same type of feeling I get when driving long distance on major expressways. The feeling I get from that driving is only something I've taken note of in the last few years.
It seems for me that driving at slower speeds with less traffic is about the same as only engaging with people socially on a limited basis and to take it slowly. My mind thanks me for it later on when I take it slower.
Recently, I've been taking a bit more notice of how some activities, such as driving wears me out mentally. My typical drive is only a few miles since I live 2 miles from work. But I regularly have to drive about the state for meetings, training or conferences and such. If I can, I tend to stick to the 55 mph highways or the scenic route if you will. I'll avoid the expressways, at least the major ones, when I can. But I've found that when I do take them and driving at 70 or 75 mph and negotiating all the traffic, potential threats and such really takes it out of me.
When I get back home or to the office I find that I really need some time to decompress from all the constant analyzing my brain is doing to get me to my destination and get there safely. It becomes hard to focus and I need an hour or two at least of just rest, not really reading anything, writing anything or speaking with anyone just to get the frazzled feeling in my mind to calm down.
Just too much stimulation.
But when I take the scenic route and drive slower and have less traffic to deal with, the recovery period is greatly reduced.
The feeling is not unlike being around a large group of people at a gathering and having to engage with them and socialize with them. If I stick around for too long in those types of situations I come away with the same type of feeling I get when driving long distance on major expressways. The feeling I get from that driving is only something I've taken note of in the last few years.
It seems for me that driving at slower speeds with less traffic is about the same as only engaging with people socially on a limited basis and to take it slowly. My mind thanks me for it later on when I take it slower.
Great post, and one I can identify with.
And, yes, I would describe myself as an introvert who can appear (such as when I am giving a presentation) on occasion to be somewhat extroverted.
I have never liked driving - yes, I love the autonomy, independence and mobility it allows - but I dislike the actual activity, the concentration it requires, and how wrecked I feel afterwards. You have just explained to me why this might be so.
These days, I tend to use public transport or taxis.
And, as for social gatherings, even when I enjoy them, I tend to be somewhat fatigued afterwards.
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Introvert, for sure. I hate crowds, however I do like to socialize and meet new people, but I never like to be the one to start a conversation. Have gotten better at it though.
I also do love staying in and being alone in my room.. whether it’s just binge watching a TV show, or just laying in bed, I’d much rather do that than go out. If I do go out, I need to recharge otherwise being around so many people and the hustle and bustle exhausts me.
Knowing this, I don’t think you’ll catch me at any of the stores on Black Friday
I also do love staying in and being alone in my room.. whether it’s just binge watching a TV show, or just laying in bed, I’d much rather do that than go out. If I do go out, I need to recharge otherwise being around so many people and the hustle and bustle exhausts me.
Knowing this, I don’t think you’ll catch me at any of the stores on Black Friday
One thing that I like about this personality trait and one that many people get wrong when comparing it to extroversion is that it's not that a person is one or the other.
Everyone is both. I view the trait as a sliding scale where some of us, like myself, are more introverted and less extroverted. There are plenty of times where extroversion is the primary trait for me, but once that event is done my scale goes back to its default introverted state.
For instance I have no problems with public speaking. As part of my job I have to stand up in front of county commissioners and speak or other groups as well. Just a few weeks ago I went to a local school to talk to the parents of special needs children about a County program and I handled it just fine.
I think too often many people don't really understand what introversion/extroversion is. Especially when its on the introversion side where people often mistake the trait with being too shy, being depressed or that there is something wrong with the person. Granted, there are people who are like that, but it's not the default position for introversion.
Everyone is both. I view the trait as a sliding scale where some of us, like myself, are more introverted and less extroverted. There are plenty of times where extroversion is the primary trait for me, but once that event is done my scale goes back to its default introverted state.
For instance I have no problems with public speaking. As part of my job I have to stand up in front of county commissioners and speak or other groups as well. Just a few weeks ago I went to a local school to talk to the parents of special needs children about a County program and I handled it just fine.
I think too often many people don't really understand what introversion/extroversion is. Especially when its on the introversion side where people often mistake the trait with being too shy, being depressed or that there is something wrong with the person. Granted, there are people who are like that, but it's not the default position for introversion.
Absolutely spot on.
As it happens, I am an excellent public speaker. For what it is worth, I was a schools' and university debater, and later, a university teacher for years, and have the skill of being able to hold the attention of an audience while giving an enthusiastic and interesting presentation. While doing that - and taking endless questions afterwards - I am totally "in" the moment, enthused, engaged, emotionally reactive, very responsive to those with whom I am speaking.
But, I am still an introvert, the sort of person who is privately pleased when someone unexpectedly and at the last minute cancels a planned evening out, unless the event in question is one I passionately wished to attend.
I'd far prefer an evening at home, reading, listening to music, (and yes, browsing and prowling online), to an evening socialising.
I think the answer to this question depends on where you are in life. I loved socialising in my teens and early 20’s. If I was at home one night a week it was rare.
These days I’m rarely out. The thought of going out rarely even comes up. I like to socialise with old friends when they are in town, but the thought of getting out and meeting new people doesn’t hold any interest for me these days.
Of course MR provides some of the socialisation I require on a daily basis that didn’t exist when I was in my teens and 20’s.
These days I’m rarely out. The thought of going out rarely even comes up. I like to socialise with old friends when they are in town, but the thought of getting out and meeting new people doesn’t hold any interest for me these days.
Of course MR provides some of the socialisation I require on a daily basis that didn’t exist when I was in my teens and 20’s.
Holy coincidence, Batman! I was driving to pick up a few prescriptions yesterday and thinking to myself how deceptively social an activity driving is. I wondered if I was just making a connection between two things I'm not particularly good at.
I was okay when learning to drive as I live in a sparsely populated area and dealt with low-friction icy roads before ever needing to interact with traffic (I still prefer the former). But in the years since getting my license and visiting the city more, I've noticed instances where it's ambiguous who has the right of way, and I end up misreading other drivers' signals completely. I also frequently find myself in an automobile equivalent of that awkward dance you do with people who are walking toward you in a narrow passage and you both try to step around each other simultaneously—I'll inch forward as the other driver does, we'll both slow down, wait, and repeat until one of us just decides to drive.
I can't help but notice how these instances mirror my occasional inability to judge when to join a conversation and my proficiency for talking over/under other speakers.
And the uncanniness continues. I remember first giving a formal presentation in 9th grade, and one of my peers saying it was the best they'd ever seen (which seems odd given that the topic was very personal, and I thought I was all over the place). Then in 11th grade, I was dubbed the king of presentations by a teacher's assistant. (However, she gave me this title a few days after I was done speaking, so I was back to my far less social self and probably didn't provide the best response.)
This continued to college where I tended to give presentations—filled with animations and humor*—usually pertaining to 14th and 15th century western art.
Drawing parallels between master Jacques-Louis David and apprentice Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres to the relationship and eventual betrayal of Obiwan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker.
Analyzing the compositional balance of Ingres's Portrait of Princesse de Broglie
Illuminator Mathew Paris with a selfie stick.
How the Self Portrait Kneeling Before the Virgin and Child might've looked if non-orthographic haloes were in-vogue during the Gothic period.
My final portfolio presentation ended with my professor explaining that they always had a hard time evaluating my presentations because they were too engaged with what I was saying to focus on minutiae like disfluencies and eye-contact. Apparently, he'd deliberately scheduled my presentation last because he figured it'd be a bigger challenge to keep folks' attention after a couple hours of listening to similar designers.
There's just something more performative about presentations that makes it easier for me than standard conversation. Also, standard conversation is more like improv; the goal is to keep things going and have a back-and-forth. Presentations and even questions asked afterward have end goals. You've thought of or written the conclusion, and questions are asked to be answered, not discussed.
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I’m too introverted and too busy to really discuss this now
But shortly those charts of all introverted types makes me confused. None really fits me, go figure. Gets different results in different tests too. So I decide to give up on these categorizations.
I stay with Astrological in depth defintions, they are a few thousand years older
But shortly those charts of all introverted types makes me confused. None really fits me, go figure. Gets different results in different tests too. So I decide to give up on these categorizations.
I stay with Astrological in depth defintions, they are a few thousand years older
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I've voted extrovert, but in reality it depends on both my state of mind at the time and the situation I find myself in. One thing is for sure, I have no problem meeting new people, and frequently make the point of bringing newcomers into the circle if I see them looking socially awkward. Hanging around with a bunch of furries means that I know a lot of socially awkward people. Anything I can do to ensure they all enjoy themselves whenever we get together is time well spent, even if I occasionally have to force myself to do it.
Maybe part of extroversion / introversion has something to do with how you experienced childhood situations. I know I've always had fun if called upon to speak in public, enjoy mingling with people at social functions or at conferences and so forth, yet always treasured any minutes I could steal away for solitary pursuits. I didn't feel exhausted by all the social interactions, but there could come some moment when I'd had enough of it and something else I was more curious about --or wanting to return to working on-- pulled me away from the group.
I always figured that for me it had something to do with having been raised with a lot of siblings. There's a lot of give and take, so you're not particularly self conscious when asserting yourself in a group and yet you experience every day the value of other people's input to projects and discussions.
All that can tend to make one pretty comfortable in groups. It can also make you think "Gee if I could have ten minutes to myself once in awhile..." and so find ways to get there. I ended up capable of immersing myself in a book in a corner of a room where a bunch of boys were arguing with each other over whose turn it was to mow the lawn: it apparently wasn't my turn, so...
The intro/extro switch-up translated pretty well later on to working in tech fields, particularly when "cube environment" became a thing, also when it was important to be able to exercise any special skills without becoming a project manager's nightmare: the star whose pride of authorship or skill set dominance prevents integrating with the team's efforts to make a project successful.
I always figured that for me it had something to do with having been raised with a lot of siblings. There's a lot of give and take, so you're not particularly self conscious when asserting yourself in a group and yet you experience every day the value of other people's input to projects and discussions.
All that can tend to make one pretty comfortable in groups. It can also make you think "Gee if I could have ten minutes to myself once in awhile..." and so find ways to get there. I ended up capable of immersing myself in a book in a corner of a room where a bunch of boys were arguing with each other over whose turn it was to mow the lawn: it apparently wasn't my turn, so...
The intro/extro switch-up translated pretty well later on to working in tech fields, particularly when "cube environment" became a thing, also when it was important to be able to exercise any special skills without becoming a project manager's nightmare: the star whose pride of authorship or skill set dominance prevents integrating with the team's efforts to make a project successful.
I recall as a young kid, early teenager, that I did not like being around all of my friends at the same time. I had compartmentalized my friends into smaller groups and would go hang out with each group separately. The groups were 4 people or less usually. I remember one time that all of my friends were together at one place for a party or something. Perhaps there were 10 of us altogether; I don't fully remember everyone there anymore. But I do remember that I wasn't very happy and tended to retreat a little bit during that day because I just had too much to deal with, with everyone there.
That's one of my earliest memories that I can pin down that relates to introversion. It still holds true today that I don't like being around all of my friends, or co-workers all at once. I prefer small groups over large ones every time.
That's one of my earliest memories that I can pin down that relates to introversion. It still holds true today that I don't like being around all of my friends, or co-workers all at once. I prefer small groups over large ones every time.
Likewise, and best of all is one-to-one, or one-to-two sessions, which is what I favour if I have arranged the occasion.
Socially, I don't like large groups, even if I know and like everyone who is present.
Before my mother fell ill, I used to host dinner parties, but the numbers attending were always small.
Learning to say "no I'm not going to" a social gathering is really hard.
Once you master it though it can be liberating.
I refuse to make lame excuses either. Partner tells people "I'm sick". When asked am I feeling better I just tell the truth now - so and so was there and I find them boring/ dislike them. Strangely once one person says it, others seem to feel they can too.
Where I work now they try to build team spirit with once a month birthdays and cakes. Nothing. Worse. Stay at desk as "I'm busy". Fortunately they accept that.
I learned to like being alone living in a tiny one bedroom flat for two years overseas. Could go weeks without speaking to anyone. No issues. Rarely went stir crazy.
Can be "life of the party" but ***** me when people expect it all the time. Some days I just want to let others take over.
If you asked people who think they know me they would say I'm an extrovert. People who really know me know I'm not at all. That can make you seem fake. But then I eat bacon but not pork or ham. Go figure!
Once you master it though it can be liberating.
I refuse to make lame excuses either. Partner tells people "I'm sick". When asked am I feeling better I just tell the truth now - so and so was there and I find them boring/ dislike them. Strangely once one person says it, others seem to feel they can too.
Where I work now they try to build team spirit with once a month birthdays and cakes. Nothing. Worse. Stay at desk as "I'm busy". Fortunately they accept that.
I learned to like being alone living in a tiny one bedroom flat for two years overseas. Could go weeks without speaking to anyone. No issues. Rarely went stir crazy.
Can be "life of the party" but ***** me when people expect it all the time. Some days I just want to let others take over.
If you asked people who think they know me they would say I'm an extrovert. People who really know me know I'm not at all. That can make you seem fake. But then I eat bacon but not pork or ham. Go figure!
I recently came across this Podcast called 'Introvert, Dear" and quite enjoy it.
https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/172771.rss
https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/172771.rss
Oh, yes, turning down invitations to social gatherings of the sort that do not engage you is indeed a liberation, although I still attend a few, when the format (a book launch, an opening of an exhibition) - and the company - are likely to be of interest.
Declining wedding invitations is also incredibly liberating. Once I mastered that one - and gave myself permission turn down the invitation in question (even if I liked the bride and/or groom), it felt as though it was an extraordinary liberation.