Read my quote above. I run CCleaner for 15 minutes once every other month.
Systemcare? What the hell's that?
AVG? That's your fault for using it. I used Avast before going to MSE, and it never gave me problems. I rarely ever feel the need to do virus scans anyway, and haven't caught one in about forever...despite not regularly practicing what most people would call "safe" computer usage.
Patch updates? All done in the background on a scheduled basis, completely hands free, and totally unnoticed. Only 1 in 50 or so requires a reboot. It's a rare thing, and I can easily keep Windows up and running for 45 days at least.
Craploads of stuff loading at startup? Quit installing junk programs that do nothing but sit on the notification area eating resources. And hell, even if you do let a few slip by, it only takes 10 seconds to tell Windows not to let it boot at startup. I've got, like, two apps that load when I boot my machine.
And what was so hard about installing Steam? It's true that installing programs isn't quite as elegant as OSX's drag and drop setup, but it isn't like setting an installation folder and hitting next twice is a harrowing experience.
Like I said above, there are plenty of reasons to prefer OSX over Windows. It is overall a less fiddly experience. But that doesn't mean you have to over exaggerate to get your point across.
edit:
Here's some proof. I'm running Windows 8, which is getting new-OS constant updates. Haven't had to reboot it in 9 days 4 hours. And I'm running it on my older machine which I've had for about 5-6 years now.