|Dec 28, 2013, 08:44 AM||#434|
Pickup line - "baby, did you fart? because you blew me away"
15" rMBP;TV2; Mine- iPhone 5 - 64GB/Black and iPad rMini 16gb/wifi; Wife's - iPhone 5s 32GB/Slate and iPad air 16GB/Wifi
|Jan 15, 2014, 10:26 PM||#435|
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. Suddenly the horse falls into a mud hole and starts sinking. He tells the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farmer, but the farmer can't be found.
So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend and drives forward saving the horse from sinking.
A few days later, the chicken and horse are playing in the meadow again, and the chicken falls into a mud hole. The chicken tells the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse says: "I think I can get you out."
So he stretches over the width of the hole and says: "Grab hold of my 'thing' and pull yourself up."
The chicken does this and is pulled to safety. Moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
|Yesterday, 12:30 AM||#437|
I've not read every joke...
What is black, white, black, white, black, white?
A nun falling down a flight of stairs.
The modern business ethos: "I'm worth it, you're not, and I'm a glutton!"
MBP, 2.2 GHz intel i7, Radeon HD 6750M, Bootcamp: W7.
PC: i5 4670k, 8GB RAM, Asus GTX670 (2GB VRAM), W7.
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