Two snakes are out together. One says "Thid. Are we poithonous?"
"Why do you ask?
"Becauthe I've jutht bitten my tongue".
"Why do you ask?
"Becauthe I've jutht bitten my tongue".
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Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick
Ok that was funny. But I suck at jokes... 2 iPhones walk in to a bar... I forget the rest.Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, Ill give you $800 to drop that towel. After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,
Who was that? It was Bob the next door neighbor, she replies. Great! the husband says, Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?
Pickup line - "baby, did you fart? because you blew me away"