Apple Chat

Squilly · Feb 9, 2013, 09:32 PM

Just had a chat with Apple. Made a few lies just to make it interesting. Their chat service brings out my Apple-nerdiness lol. Was fun. Discuss?

mobilehaathi · Feb 9, 2013, 09:43 PM

Do you have a point? They're paid to gush about Apple and tell you how amazing and smart you are. Are you needing more affection?

Squilly · Feb 9, 2013, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mobilehaathi

Do you have a point? They're paid to gush about Apple and tell you how amazing and smart you are. Are you needing more affection?

No, just to show you what was discussed in the chat.

wvuwhat · Feb 9, 2013, 10:28 PM

Would not read again.

yg17 · Feb 9, 2013, 10:57 PM

tl;dr

Quote:

Originally Posted by mobilehaathi

Do you have a point? They're paid to gush about Apple and tell you how amazing and smart you are. Are you needing more affection?

No kidding. The guy in the chat would be a Dell fanatic if Dell hired him to do the same job at a higher salary.

swingerofbirch · Feb 10, 2013, 12:57 AM

Sounds like an internal Apple employee. I used to have that exact same job through Arise, working from home. We did four chats at once plus chatting with our teams, and had to make 5% conversions. I would have been yelled at for a chat like that, but it's nice when workers can be real. I actually enjoyed chat quite a bit, even though it could get really, really stressful. There were some "abusive" chats. Although, they didn't bother me personally. The ones I helped the most didn't usually buy. Conversion rates were a horrible measure of performance because you could spend an hour with a customer getting a perfect solution for them and not get a sale. But you could "touch" a browser who never even wrote to you and get credit for their sale if they checked out while the chat with you was open (on their end). I know it's not worth much in any context, but I was once told by performance facilitator (in this bizarro world of contracting, a performance facilitator is kind of like your immediate supervisor, except you're paying them and they're also paying you since you're an independent contractor--you have to pay to use their systems and training, but they pay you for work) that I was the best chatter she had on her team, except that my conversion rate wasn't tops.

It was also a bit Pavlovian in that each new chatter caused a "Ping" to go off on my Mac, which could drive you crazy when it was really high volume.

For some reason I always imagined the internal Apple employees being much more laid back and not having the same pressures, but I could be wrong.

rdowns · Feb 10, 2013, 06:56 AM

Oh Squilly.

mobilehaathi · Feb 10, 2013, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swingerofbirch

I would have been yelled at for a chat like that, but it's nice when workers can be real.

You think that person was being real? He was falling all over himself to praise Apple and couldn't stop telling Squilly how smart, thoughtful, and amazing he was. It was so heavy handed that it made me want to vomit.

Squilly · Feb 10, 2013, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mobilehaathi

You think that person was being real? He was falling all over himself to praise Apple and couldn't stop telling Squilly how smart, thoughtful, and amazing he was. It was so heavy handed that it made me want to vomit.

Maybe he was a fanboy?

----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by swingerofbirch

Sounds like an internal Apple employee. I used to have that exact same job through Arise, working from home. We did four chats at once plus chatting with our teams, and had to make 5% conversions. I would have been yelled at for a chat like that, but it's nice when workers can be real. I actually enjoyed chat quite a bit, even though it could get really, really stressful. There were some "abusive" chats. Although, they didn't bother me personally. The ones I helped the most didn't usually buy. Conversion rates were a horrible measure of performance because you could spend an hour with a customer getting a perfect solution for them and not get a sale. But you could "touch" a browser who never even wrote to you and get credit for their sale if they checked out while the chat with you was open (on their end). I know it's not worth much in any context, but I was once told by performance facilitator (in this bizarro world of contracting, a performance facilitator is kind of like your immediate supervisor, except you're paying them and they're also paying you since you're an independent contractor--you have to pay to use their systems and training, but they pay you for work) that I was the best chatter she had on her team, except that my conversion rate wasn't tops.

It was also a bit Pavlovian in that each new chatter caused a "Ping" to go off on my Mac, which could drive you crazy when it was really high volume.

For some reason I always imagined the internal Apple employees being much more laid back and not having the same pressures, but I could be wrong.

I always wondered that - how many chats a representative runs at once. Now I know.

But damn... like being a sales associate, always under pressure, eh?

ucfgrad93 · Feb 10, 2013, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squilly

Made a few lies just to make it interesting.

So you got online and made up some lies just to talk to somebody? Are you really that desperate for attention?

Squilly · Feb 10, 2013, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ucfgrad93

So you got online and made up some lies just to talk to somebody? Are you really that desperate for attention?

By lies I mean not owning a rMBP, etc. Get his opinions.

yg17 · Feb 10, 2013, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squilly

By lies I mean not owning a rMBP, etc. Get his opinions.

So you wasted this guy's time with lies while actual potential customers or existing customers with real problems with their Apple hardware may have had to wait for an available agent.

mobilehaathi · Feb 10, 2013, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squilly

By lies I mean not owning a rMBP, etc. Get his opinions.

Dude, his opinions are scripted. Can't you see that throughout the entire chat?

He built up a phony rapport based largely on heavy handed flattery and stayed unwaveringly On Message. He even reminded you several times that he was being honest and sincere in a poor attempt to misdirect you from his glaringly obvious canned praise.

But did you honestly expect to find anything else from a sales rep?

Squilly · Feb 10, 2013, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mobilehaathi

Dude, his opinions are scripted. Can't you see that throughout the entire chat?

He built up a phony rapport based largely on heavy handed flattery and stayed unwaveringly On Message. He even reminded you several times that he was being honest and sincere in a poor attempt to misdirect you from his glaringly obvious canned praise.

But did you honestly expect to find anything else from a sales rep?

But did you honestly expect to find anything else from a sales rep?
Well obviously, their objective is to sell you something....
I didn't notice "pushy" though.
Can't you see that throughout the entire chat?
No

Feb 9, 2013, 09:32 PM	#1
Squilly In Time-Out Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: PA	Apple Chat Just had a chat with Apple. Made a few lies just to make it interesting. Their chat service brings out my Apple-nerdiness lol. Was fun. Discuss?
	0

Feb 9, 2013, 09:43 PM	#2
mobilehaathi macrumors 68030 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Bay Area, CA	Do you have a point? They're paid to gush about Apple and tell you how amazing and smart you are. Are you needing more affection? __________________ Of crimes---none is greater than having things that one desires; Of disasters---none is greater than not knowing when one has enough. Of defects---none brings more sorrow than the desire to attain.
	4

Feb 10, 2013, 06:56 AM	#7
rdowns macrumors Penryn Join Date: Jul 2003	Oh Squilly. __________________ 44% of Republicans think an ARMED REBELLION might be necessary in the next few years. So if you say most Reps are nuts, you'd be off by 7%. - Bill Maher
	0

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Feb 9, 2013, 10:28 PM	#4
wvuwhat macrumors 65816 Join Date: Sep 2007	Would not read again.
	4

Feb 10, 2013, 12:57 AM	#6
swingerofbirch macrumors 68020 Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: The Amalgamated States of Central North America	Sounds like an internal Apple employee. I used to have that exact same job through Arise, working from home. We did four chats at once plus chatting with our teams, and had to make 5% conversions. I would have been yelled at for a chat like that, but it's nice when workers can be real. I actually enjoyed chat quite a bit, even though it could get really, really stressful. There were some "abusive" chats. Although, they didn't bother me personally. The ones I helped the most didn't usually buy. Conversion rates were a horrible measure of performance because you could spend an hour with a customer getting a perfect solution for them and not get a sale. But you could "touch" a browser who never even wrote to you and get credit for their sale if they checked out while the chat with you was open (on their end). I know it's not worth much in any context, but I was once told by performance facilitator (in this bizarro world of contracting, a performance facilitator is kind of like your immediate supervisor, except you're paying them and they're also paying you since you're an independent contractor--you have to pay to use their systems and training, but they pay you for work) that I was the best chatter she had on her team, except that my conversion rate wasn't tops. It was also a bit Pavlovian in that each new chatter caused a "Ping" to go off on my Mac, which could drive you crazy when it was really high volume. For some reason I always imagined the internal Apple employees being much more laid back and not having the same pressures, but I could be wrong.
	0