Magic Mouse Help

Finally picked up a Magic Mouse...but I think I just found out it's nothing like I expected...

I've always heard this described as the MBP trackpad on your mouse, which is why I bought it. I wanted to be able to swipe three fingers up for the desktop, pinch to zoom, three fingers down, etc....but it seems that I can't do any of this.... Is that right? Is there a way around this?