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What's wrong with me?

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bradc

macrumors 6502
Original poster
Mar 17, 2006
263
0
Canader eh
As I sit here on my week long vacation I have been pondering many things. One of late is my lack of success recently with the opposite sex, if you can't tell by my name, I'm a guy;)

My last girlfriend and I broke it off three months ago? Her claims were that I was too busy and I couldn't talk about things, open up. Which as nerdy as it sounds, I can't talk about my day at work because I have a 'Secret Clearance Level' for my job. I'm an Engineer/Researcher at Raytheon where most of my work right now is for the U.S. Military. So she was right and I knew it, because 6months ago till 2months ago, I was constantly travelling for business and often worked 12 hour days....I only have to work 8 hours but my passion is my work. I use the Labs at work to further my research and development because it's exciting to me just as playing video games is to some.

So I realised the world wasn't going to end anytime soon and cut back my hours after we split. I picked up a new car, paid it all off 2months ago? and now I go on cruises, amateur track weekend races etc. I'm by no means a geek, I use to race Downhiil Mountain Biking, I Sail competitively sometimes, do duathlons etc etc. I've also travelled a quite a bit internationally.

So now that you guys/girls have a short 'current' bio of me currently...I can't seem to find a girl I have interest in or all to often, vice versa:eek: I think it's my lack of captivation haha? I don't know, so how do you guys/girls recommend I remedy my situation? Where should I go, do etc...?

I'm a good looking guy, well at least that's what my 90yr old Grandma says:p , I've got good taste in clothes-I'm a fan of Paul & Shark clothing, it's practically my whole warddrobe! I'm a smart guy with lots of interests, hobbies,volunteering efforts, stories and a new car to boot! Oh, by the way I'm 30..........point five:)

Anyways, post your suggestions, comments etc. Also, if you're one of the rare females on this board and want to talk send me a PM!
 
ham_man

ham_man

macrumors 68020
Jan 21, 2005
2,265
0
Let your guard down and be yourself. In my experience, girls want someone that's genuine and doesn't ******** them...
 
B

BoyBach

macrumors 68040
Feb 24, 2006
3,031
13
Just admit that, like me, you're doomed to live the sad lonely life of a singleton :p
 
mactastic

mactastic

macrumors 68040
Apr 24, 2003
3,681
665
Colly-fornia
Hmm... you seem kind of desperate for a girlfriend. Try relaxing about it, as if you don't care whether you are dating or not. Even better is to actually not care if you are dating or not.

Once you're happy by yourself, you'll meet somone.
 
B

bradc

macrumors 6502
Original poster
Mar 17, 2006
263
0
Canader eh
Hahahaha so true, looking for advice here:rolleyes: Nahh, not desperate, just down on my luck lately and all my friends around me seem to be getting married! I've been to 4 weddings in July alone!
 
mactastic

mactastic

macrumors 68040
Apr 24, 2003
3,681
665
Colly-fornia
bradc said:
Hahahaha so true, looking for advice here:rolleyes: Nahh, not desperate, just down on my luck lately and all my friends around me seem to be getting married! I've been to 4 weddings in July alone!
Click to expand...
Not saying you ARE desperate, just that you come across that way here. If you also happen to come across that way IRL, you might be turning some girls off. Nothing less attractive than something you know you can have.

And seriously, 3 months? Nothing to worry about.
 
Bern

Bern

macrumors 68000
Nov 10, 2004
1,854
1
Australia
bradc said:
Hahahaha so true, looking for advice here:rolleyes: Nahh, not desperate, just down on my luck lately and all my friends around me seem to be getting married! I've been to 4 weddings in July alone!
Click to expand...

And when you're asked to witness affidavits for 4 divorces in the future you'll thank your lucky stars you're still single. :p
 
®îçhå®?

®îçhå®?

macrumors 68000
Mar 7, 2006
1,826
2
I'm in the same situation and the 2 girls i like, 1 is already going out with someone else and the other is trying to tempt another guy. Its hopeless!!! To be perfectly honest, i have stopped really caring and now it is whatever comes my way.

PS: The song I'm listening to doesn't help. JC Chasez - All Day Long I Dream About Sex :p
 
Macky-Mac

Macky-Mac

macrumors 68040
May 18, 2004
3,509
2,557
bradc said:
.... Her claims were that I was too busy and I couldn't talk about things, open up. Which as nerdy as it sounds, I can't talk about my day at work because I have a 'Secret Clearance Level' for my job.....
Click to expand...


of course when a girl says something like that to a guy, she's not talking about his job!!!
 
Sun Baked

Sun Baked

macrumors G5
May 19, 2002
14,937
157
Macaddicttt said:
Well, for one, you're looking for dating advice on MacRumors... ;)
Click to expand...
For another, you are more likely to be asked out by other guys on MR.

Unless one of the ladies decides to take pity on you. ;)
 
Stridder44

Stridder44

macrumors 68040
Mar 24, 2003
3,973
198
California
You should ask yourself, are you being a wussy man? And by wussy man Im talking like sucking up the girl, buy her affection/buying your way to her heart, treating her like a perfect angel all the time, being predictable, not being decisive ("I donno, where do you want to go? What do you want to do?"). This is typical wussy man/nice guy behavior and it is NOT attractive at all to a girl. And it is all about attraction. Showing her the opposite of wussy man behavior like being interesting, cocky & funny, challenging, a good communicator, being assertive (knowing what you want but also taking other peoples ideas into consideration), and not being needy. Learn to flirt! Treat them like your bratty younger sister.

Also check out askmen.com for help. It sounds like your problem is more of a mental/psychological thing. You'll do fine though, seeing as you must have alot of money (which is good when looking for a mate) and that you're a well balanced guy as far as your life goes.
 
sushi

sushi

Moderator emeritus
Jul 19, 2002
15,639
3
キャンプスワ&#
bradc said:
Which as nerdy as it sounds, I can't talk about my day at work because I have a 'Secret Clearance Level' for my job. I'm an Engineer/Researcher at Raytheon where most of my work right now is for the U.S. Military.
Click to expand...
Learn to focus on topics outside of your job. Hobbies, sports, current events, family, cars, whatever.

In addition, become comfortable with what you can talk about the job which a SO might find interesting. Remember, not everything you do is classified. Lunch, co-workers, office antics, office jokes can go a long ways toward placating the SO.
 
B

bradc

macrumors 6502
Original poster
Mar 17, 2006
263
0
Canader eh
Hahaha you guys are funny. Yeah it's just everyone around me is getting married and one of my friends already has kids...scary! For the time being I've got my car and my dog and my job and I'm happy:)

Someone mentioned money, while my job does pay handsomely-it gives off the wrong vibe! I'll go to a Second Cup late at night or early in the morning and I guess there is some validity to the whole 'car' thing. The weirdest most fake girls come up and try to strike up the most dumb conversation topics...ugh lack of intelligence is a big turn off for me.
 
C

CubaTBird

macrumors 68020
Apr 18, 2004
2,135
0
Just because your friends are getting married right now and having kids doesn't mean you have to also. Who's to say that you have to follow in their situations? Nobody... Just take it as it goes and things will work out, probably for the better. No need to stress over keeping up with others fortunes because in the end who are you really benefitting?
 
Elphaba

Elphaba

macrumors regular
Jun 4, 2006
106
0
bradc said:
...Where should I go, do etc...?
Click to expand...

Let love find you. I know that's cliche...but it really does work. Don't go looking for "the one"... Love will find you when you least expect it. :)
 
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