When I were a nipper:
John Craven (TV's countryside report) - refused (politely) to autograph stuff, had a bunch of presigned postcards in his pocket and charged us schoolkids 10p each per card.
I refused to believe that he'd actually signed them. (tho he probably did)
The Queen Mother - opened a new fish market near my school. We were trooped down to watch this old biddy hobbling along.
The Queen - opened a completely useless new audiology centre near me.
Princess Anne - pinned a rosette on my jacket for some stupid disabled horseriding thing, and said something meaningless to me. I still have the photo somewhere.
Princess Diana - gave my best friend an award, a "child of achievement" thing. For what? For being friends with me. (Seriously!)
As an adult:
Gael Garcia Bernal (The Motorbike Dairies) Saw him in a play in London, and met him in the bar afterwards. Short, but hot sex on a stick. I'd do him in a flash.
Shimon Peres - at a national student convention. Came up to him on stage and told him Israel was an apartheid nation. (he said "that's not true")
An old girlfriend of mine used to be the girlfriend of Genesis P'orridge (Temple ov Psychik Youth, Throbbing Gristle, Psychic TV)
Another girlfriend was repeatedly chatted up in front of me by Matt Fraser (famous thalamide guy with flippers for arms, is on TV quite a lot as a presenter / actor / voice over)
Was stared at by the presenters of Top Gear (Jeremy Clarkson, the Hamster [currently in a coma], and the big guy) - I was having lunch at the BBC canteen, signing away to some deaf mates, and they were at the next table over and couldn't take their eyes off us. We were too polite to look at them.
The collected environment ministers of just about every nation in the world. Was part of an eco-activist group, and we gatecrashed a UN conference on the environment in the Haague, and gave them a bit of an earwigging.
Hanif Kurishi (writer of 'The Buddha of Suburbia) - was at a play 2 rows behind me. The play was a 1-woman show by the grand-daughter of Charlie Chaplin.
Yoko Ono and Grace Jones - were very near me at a concert in south London a few years ago. I do respect Ono as an artist, but even as a stone deaf person, I could tell that she couldn't sing. Grace Jones had amazing costumes, and changed them every 5 minutes.
Tuppy Owens and Annie Sprinkle - sexology researchers - I once did some work for Tuppy Owens.
Franko B - amazing performance artist - smoked a few with him as we used to hang out in the same punk hair shop in Camden.