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Datings Sites: Yay or Nay?

Krafty

Krafty

macrumors 601
Original poster
Dec 31, 2007
4,466
343
La La Land
Or at least a continuation of the ongoing discussion on such topic to at least get that thread back on track. I guess the opinions of dating sites and peoples opinions on them, as the discussion went on I guess we would like to hear more opinions if its something worth investing in your opinion.
 
To be honest I think they're silly.. for me at least.

I enjoy interacting with people, and while it might seem silly and ditzily romantic to say this, I'm looking forward to meeting the one single special girl with a certain spark; You can't nail down love to a science or a set of odds. Love is special - There's nothing wrong with waiting for something magic to happen.

Then again, I also enjoy my own company (not in THAT way, thank you rdowns) and like being single and free, so the wait isn't painful like it might be for someone else. Granted, there are times it would be cool to have someone, but in the meantime I can do just fine on my own.
 
That's how I found my wife.

What dating sites gives you, is the ability to find someone who has a level of compatibility or shares your value system.

To be honest, I think its safer and better then going to bar and trying to pick up woman.
 
As much a nerd and tech lover as I am, I've never really gone for dating sites. As the honourable Melrose above me said, you can't really find love through a formula.
 
Yay.

As I mentioned in that other thread, I met my wife on a dating site. We never would have met otherwise, as we had different circles of friends, and we hung out in different places. Without that site, who knows where I'd be and who I'd be with (if anyone).

The thing is, you have to use the dating site as just another option. Another way to meet men/women. I was still meeting women at bars, coffee shops, the gym, etc. The site was just another place. More options.

Sorry, Melrose and Dagless, but I have to disagree with you. I don't think you guys have the right impression of what dating sites are.

Regarding interaction: You still have to interact with people on dating sites. You just use the site to search through profiles and to ask someone (or be asked) out on a date. Once you're on the date, you obviously need to interact.;) We're interacting right now on this forum......is this not real interaction? It's the same with dating sites.

I met that one single special girl with a single spark. I knew I was going to marry her after the first date. It wasn't forced magic or forced love. Without that site, we probably would never have met.

To imply that it's a method only for desperate people is also incorrect. I was not desperate. My wife was not desperate. We're both fun, smart, attractive people who both did very well in the "regular" dating world (hell, my wife's a hot petite redhead:p). We were just busy people who wanted another way to meet new people.

Back when I was using the dating site, almost all of the single people I knew had a profile. And that was 8-10 years ago. In fact, I'd say the majority of the weddings I've been to in the past 10 years were the result of people meeting on a dating site.

Anyway, that's my two cents (or buck fitty). I say "yay" to dating sites.....without one, I wouldn't have celebrated my 6th wedding anniversary last month and I wouldn't have celebrated my son's 1st birthday the month before that.:)
 
Surely said:
Yay.<snip>
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this. they're a great place to otherwise meet people you would have no chance of crossing paths with normally. its how i met the love of my life.

if anything its a change of pace from the typical ways of meeting new people.
 
Female who met her sig other organically - chiming in.

I think they are great. If you believe in soul mates, you got to give yourself every chance of crossing paths with that special person. Dating sites help in that sense.

I don't use dating sites myself, but they really do help you expand your world beyond what is in front of your eyes.
 
To many creeps. Plus your soul mate is usually right in town just need to start looking. ;)
 
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I just got engaged to a girl I met on Match.com

To be honest, it let's you narrow down your choices and then email and talk on the phone well before you decide to ask them out. It's very effective and pretty fun.
 
If it works, it doesn't matter what other people think.

Why would a so-called soulmate be any less likely to be on the site?

There are many ways to meet one's soulmate, and if we are dealing with numbers and probability, there's not just "one" person out there for you who can be compatible.

If there was just one person, then who says they are still alive, in your vicinity, or even interested when you meet them?

I hate to say it, but it's a numbers game like anything else, and any personality will find a group of people they can be a mate with, but sometimes a really good friend which is also very valuable.
 
Who said anything about finding love?

It's about finding a possible/plausible connection. Any love development will or wont occur the old fashion way, interaction; which I'm sure the successful posters above can attest.
 
While I don't want to diminish the success stories of those who have found someone through a dating site, I don't think it would be for me. I would be concerned, for one, that a girl who felt the need to do online dating would not be outgoing enough to be a good match for me.
 
Nay.

Melrose said:
To be honest I think they're silly.. for me at least.

I enjoy interacting with people, and while it might seem silly and ditzily romantic to say this, I'm looking forward to meeting the one single special girl with a certain spark; You can't nail down love to a science or a set of odds. Love is special - There's nothing wrong with waiting for something magic to happen.

Then again, I also enjoy my own company (not in THAT way, thank you rdowns) and like being single and free, so the wait isn't painful like it might be for someone else. Granted, there are times it would be cool to have someone, but in the meantime I can do just fine on my own.
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You literally took the words out of my mouth. Literally.
 
OutThere said:
would be concerned, for one, that a girl who felt the need to do online dating would not be outgoing enough to be a good match for me.
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Your concern is misplaced. Most of the women I went out with via that dating site were very outgoing. My wife is extremely outgoing, as am I.

For some reason, I think that people have the impression that the people who use dating sites are meek, shy, quiet, awkward, loner-types, afraid of interaction, etc. This is all the furthest from the truth. Sure, you will find some of those types of people on dating sites, but it is not the usual or norm.

Most of the people who use them aren't socially awkward people who don't know how to ask others on a date. They're people who are doing everything they know to cast a wide net in order to meet as many people as possible.




I find it kind of ironic when people who are very involved on an internet forum and have never tried a dating site can't see the benefit in using dating sites to meet more people. *shrug*




Edit: Also, I think that people may not fully understand how these dating sites work. The one I went on was pretty simple: you enter in search terms, and a list of profiles appear. I usually just searched using an age range and my city- I knew that there were women I wouldn't date for being too young, and those who I felt were too old for me. Or, you don't enter any search terms at all, and you see a list of all profiles in your city.

I think people are under the impression that the dating site will use a formula of some sort to match only certain people with you. I'm sure that there are some sites that do that, but I'd bet that there are more that work the way the one I used worked. It's still hit or miss- someone might have an attractive profile, but once you meet them, nothing. But it's hit or miss if you ask an attractive girl out who you met at a coffee shop- she might look good at the time, but once you're on the date, nothing.
 
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Surely said:
Your concern is misplaced. Most of the women I went out with via that dating site were very outgoing. My wife is extremely outgoing, as am I.

For some reason, I think that people have the impression that the people who use dating sites are meek, shy, quiet, awkward, loner-types, afraid of interaction, etc. This is all the furthest from the truth. Sure, you will find some of those types of people on dating sites, but it is not the usual or norm.

Most of the people who use them aren't socially awkward people who don't know how to ask others on a date. They're people who are doing everything they know to cast a wide net in order to meet as many people as possible.
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What he said.

I don't know why people seem to think going on dating sites are desperate. It's just another way of meeting people.
 
maflynn said:
That's how I found my wife.

What dating sites gives you, is the ability to find someone who has a level of compatibility or shares your value system.

To be honest, I think its safer and better then going to bar and trying to pick up woman.
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Yeah many women I met at bars weren't marriage material. In fact I remember someone coming up to me and............Well even though she was really hot, what she said was pretty nasty. I was wondering how her boy friend or husband that was with her would have felt if I he knew what she wanted to do with me.

As for dating sites I've never used them, but I hear some people like you find their perfect match there, and others don't.
 
I'm with the "yay" voters.

With a few of caveats.

1) You shouldn't use dating sites as the only way to meet people. Just as one more tool in your arsenal.

2) You need to find the right website with the sort of people you are looking for. Preferrably one that you pay for. I have found that the free sites attract people who aren't as serious and tend to waste your time (spend ages talking online and then don't want to meet anyone in real life). I have used Match and MatchAfinnity. Absolutely no luck with Match but I have met quite a few people through MatchAffinity. The two sites go after different audiences and the second lot are more my sort of people.

3) You get out what you put in. You need to work on a good profile, have some pictures and make the effort to approach people. You can't just sign up and hope the dates will fall into your lap. I expect this is particularly true for guys (I have found it unusual for girls to make the first move).
 
if its a reputable site i say yay. I met my wife online. it was from myspace when it was popular though. I used to browse then i came across my wife and got lucky.
 
NathanMuir said:
Nay.



You literally took the words out of my mouth. Literally.
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Don't you hate when you're plagiarized? :p

I vote nay but I'm only 28 so maybe that will change if the years continue to pass and I am not married. Not to offend but, I feel like dating sites appeal to the older generation.
 
acedickson said:
Don't you hate when you're plagiarized? :p

I vote nay but I'm only 28 so maybe that will change if the years continue to pass and I am not married. Not to offend but, I feel like dating sites appeal to the older generation.
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some do and some dont. id say more of a different crowd. I just met my wife through myspace because she wasnt on those sites. but I used the same basic process to find her as what the sites do when they recommend someone for you
 
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