Anti-Virus scanner... but not

[Mechcozmo]

Alright, because there seem to be quite a few issues every once in a while with people needing anti-virus protection for their Mac due to some overzealous IT department or all-too-powerfull manager of a coffeehouse with WiFi, I made up DNT-AV.

Basically, it just makes up a bunch of crap about scanning for viruses so that you can do what you need to do without seriously screwing over your hard drive with real anti-virus software.

DISCLAIMER: THIS SOFTWARE DOES NOT SCAN FOR VIRUSES. IT IS DESIGNED TO ALL YOU TO BLUFF YOUR WAY ONTO A NETWORK SO YOU CAN DO YOUR JOB. DO NOT RELY ON THIS IF YOU ARE IN A MISSION-CRITICAL SITUATION BUT INSTEAD NEED TO CHECK YOUR MAIL AT A COFFEEHOUSE OR SOMETHING!

It is a shell script. To run, open the Terminal and type "sh " and then drag the file into the Terminal window. Do not include those quotes! Then press enter. The script will launch and do its thing.

After downloading, you need to change the ".txt" extension to ".sh", I only made it ".txt" so that I could upload it to here

I made this up so that I could get onto various WiFi networks that are provided free, but so long as I can show that my computer is clean of viruses. This kinda bugged me because my Mac was clean... however I didn't have the ability to scan for viruses. Now, I do.

Oh, DNT-AV stands for "Do Not Trust Anti Virus".

 

[Mechcozmo]

Updated. Same warnings as above, but it now is fancier.

 

[killuminati]

I tried it with both of the files that you uploaded but in Terminal I got the error "No such file or directory"

What does that mean? Well, I can guess as to what it means but what do I do about it?

 

[Leeloo the 5th]

Excellent, it works great! I had a few chuckles when reading all that "crap"

 

[Leeloo the 5th]

I tried it with both of the files that you uploaded but in Terminal I got the error "No such file or directory"

What does that mean? Well, I can guess as to what it means but what do I do about it?

Didn't you forget to change the extension from .txt to .sh after downloading, but before running it? I did that, typed in the terminal "sh" followed by a space, and then dragged the file to the terminal window.

 

[killuminati]

I didn't do a space after the 'sh' . well it works now.

 

[Mechcozmo]

Excellent, it works great! I had a few chuckles when reading all that "crap"

Yup. All the feel of a Windows box, but none of the issues.

Oh, something I noticed-- even if you press "N" it will 'scan' your computer. Have to learn some more about scripting, I guess... (I learned all of this from some fast Googleing and guesses )

 

[mduser63]

I don't have a need for it at the moment, but it's still a neat little script. There are a few spelling errors. You can easily fix them by opening the script in TextEdit and doing a spell check.

 

[carpe diem]

Ha its funny.

 

[Mechcozmo]

Can't get the stupid IF statement to work... otherwise, it is really nice. Can someone help me with this?

Same instructions as above to make it run as a script.

 

[Mechcozmo]

Do Not Trust-Anti Virus is proud to present...

An update! This update includes such enhancements such as:

• Spelling corrections
• Better world choice
• Longer run-time (to seem more real)
• Ultra-poweerful, Ultra-1337, Ultra-PWN3G, Ultra-cool VIRUS SCANNING ENGINE!! WOOHOO!!!

Anyways, here it is. Unzip it. Run it the same way you would the other versions (mentioned above). Standard disclaimer applies about this not actually doing anything but instead allows you to gain access to a network that would otherwise not let you on until you run a virus scan.

 

[OnceUGoMac]

This is so cool. Thanks!

 

[evoluzione]

i've never encountered one of the problems you've mentioned above... so say if you went to a "Sixbucks" and connected to their network, it wouldn't let you on because of a virus checker requirement?? how would it know? what happens so that you can't log on???

i'm confused, but i'll remember this thread for sure! just in case thanks!

 

[Mechcozmo]

i've never encountered one of the problems you've mentioned above... so say if you went to a "Sixbucks" and connected to their network, it wouldn't let you on because of a virus checker requirement?? how would it know? what happens so that you can't log on???

i'm confused, but i'll remember this thread for sure! just in case thanks!

Their network wouldn't complain, but sometimes places won't let you on (give you the password, etc) until you prove you are clean. Pain because Macs and Linux-based ARE clean... but that won't stop the ignorant.

Remember, if there are any bugs that they notice, it is because it is a Mac and so it is different.

 

[EricNau]

It tells me "Permission Denied."
I guess it doesn't really matter - as I don't really need it (I was curious), but I thought you might want to know.

 

[Mechcozmo]

It tells me "Permission Denied."
I guess it doesn't really matter - as I don't really need it (I was curious), but I thought you might want to know.

Are you just dragging the file into the Terminal, or are you adding in the "sh " part in before it? The "sh" command tells the computer to run a shell script, which this is. I may try to turn it into an Applescript... but that's a bit down the line.

Anyways, that may solve your problem.

 

[EricNau]

Are you just dragging the file into the Terminal, or are you adding in the "sh " part in before it? The "sh" command tells the computer to run a shell script, which this is. I may try to turn it into an Applescript... but that's a bit down the line.

Anyways, that may solve your problem.

Thanks.

Silly me. I was hitting enter after I typed in "sh " - now it works fine

 

[EricNau]

So just to clear things up for me; does it actually do anything? Like make any system changes at all?

 

[UberMac]

This is the best idea EVER! You deserve a medal Mechcozmo!

In fact...here you go, oh wait, I'd best check it for viruses first *ahem*

 

[Mechcozmo]

So just to clear things up for me; does it actually do anything? Like make any system changes at all?

I hereby direct your attention to the red text above and now below.

Basically, it just makes up a bunch of crap about scanning for viruses so that you can do what you need to do without seriously screwing over your hard drive with real anti-virus software.

DISCLAIMER: THIS SOFTWARE DOES NOT SCAN FOR VIRUSES. IT IS DESIGNED TO ALL YOU TO BLUFF YOUR WAY ONTO A NETWORK SO YOU CAN DO YOUR JOB. DO NOT RELY ON THIS IF YOU ARE IN A MISSION-CRITICAL SITUATION BUT INSTEAD NEED TO CHECK YOUR MAIL AT A COFFEEHOUSE OR SOMETHING!

This is the best idea EVER! You deserve a medal Mechcozmo!

In fact...here you go, oh wait, I'd best check it for viruses first *ahem*

Hehe. Thanks for the medal. Does it come with a cash prize?

 

[ITASOR]

Can someone take a screen shot of it?

 

[Mechcozmo]

Here you go, a screenshot!
(I changed my Terminal's colors around; your color scheme will vary depending on what you have your settings set to. I like the green-on-black. Makes it feel... techie...)