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engagement rings

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jelloshotsrule

jelloshotsrule

macrumors G3
Original poster
Feb 7, 2002
9,596
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serendipity
let's say that someone is a very dumb when it comes to jewelry. let's also say that said person, and said person's object of affection are opposed to diamonds. let's say that said persons had a great time together in new zealand and as such, the idea of including jade in any potential engagement rings the two are involved in has come to mind...

where would that person start to actually look for such a thing? a simple, probably silver or white gold ring with a small, simple jade stone....... at a reasonable price....?


any helpful ideas, or general thoughts/experiences with engagement rings and such would be great......
 
If you guys don't like diamonds, how about cubic zirconia ... :D

Maybe one of those ring manufacturers ... like Jewelry Exchange. Then you could custom-pick your stone. But that would depend on where your basement is. Maybe they have a Jewelry Exchange or similar where you live.
 
I can't help with the ring specifically (although I do very much like the idea of the jade stone - it'll be unconvential and distinctive), but I can share the process I went through looking for a ring.

My girlfriend was heavily involved in choosing the ring. I was initially against this as I thought it would lessen the romance of the whole occasion - I wanted to be able to surprise her with a ring. However, we discussed it a lot and it made more sense to look together for something that she would like. Very much like the mysterious person you mention above, I am not the smartest when it comes to jewellery, so knowing that she loves the ring is very important.

Having got the ring, part of the agreement was that the time and place of proposal would be chosen by me, so that I could bring back the element of surprise and romance. I think that the moment when you propose should be special and memorable.
 
What's the opposition to diamonds? The blood diamonds? My fiancee was the same way, but found solace in the policies of The Shane Company. You might also try an antique ring, which would've been created before the blood diamond problem.

As for jade rings, any reputable jeweler should be able to help you create a custom ring. Many shops will let you choose a band (a simple solitaire band will be quite inexpensive) and choose the stone to be set. If they have a jade inventory, that should be pretty simple.

Congratulations and good luck. :)
 
No specific advice about Jade jewelry, but I would just say: Do ask around with friends and co-workers to learn the names of reputable, independent jewelers; Do not bother with that jewelry store in the mall. ;)
 
thanks for all the replies so far! i'll try to explain more, answer questions, etc..

diamonds- mostly the blood diamonds issue, but also just that we're not really traditional in general. the jade would be a more personal touch, and not be the "usual" diamond look that neither of us really care for. we've also talked about tattoo rings, and other alternatives, though i think those would be moreso for the wedding bands... hmm

turns out jewelry exchange is very closeby. however, they don't seem to have jade... hmm might check into them anyways.

kernow- thanks for the story. i sort of feel like i'd want to surprise her entirely, and that'd be hard to do without the ring already in hand. i've thrown around the idea of using a "proxy" ring... or something. a 25 cent ring from a machine probably. but i want it to be clear i'm serious, and that it's not just a joke... i suppose i could get a proxy ring, put it in a proper case, and go that route. then we could have the best of both worlds.. hmm

thanks for the various links- i saw some of those and in general they're a bit gawdy. i like the idea of a simple silver/white gold/even platinum ring with a single jade piece... not sure if i'd want it set in the ring, or in one of those claw things (see how dumb i really about it??? hah)

chris- i found a company in the uk (just randomly, i'm in the US) that has ethical diamonds, etc... and they seem to be a cool little shop that i'd be interested in. my concern there would be having a most likely custom made ring that i would never see until it was basically too late to change anything...

on that note- how does it work when you custom order? i mean, you can only really know so well how the ring will look when you're talking about it beforehand... what happens if you don't like it when it's made, etc.?

i don't know have many married friends, and those that are married/engaged weren't really in the area i live in. but i'm definitely going to talk to them about it... see where they went, etc.

thanks and keep the ideas flowin'! ;)
 
you can always get diamonds made in the usa from gemesis or chatham. i got a yellow one from a local jeweler who deals mostly with gemesis. it's a radiant cut vivid yellow. no blood was spilled for this thing, the money didn't go to a monopoly (damn you de beers!), and it was made and cut in the usa!

the issue with the ethics of diamonds is that the kimberly process is self enforced. there is no outside accounting. although a bit less blood diamonds will get into the system, they still will get into the system. the ethics of de beers is another issue. they have been declared a monopoly for many years and only recently did they pay a $10 million fine to be able to directly sell in the us. $10 million is pennies to such a large conglomerate.

in our case, she wanted a diamond and the only way to leave de beers out of it was with a man-made diamond.
 
Hey Jello (may I even call you that? Or is your face turning red with my sheer audacity?),

Congrats! This is so exciting! And I applaud both you and mystery person on the decision to overlook diamonds (I myself am in love with their sparkliness :eek:). But I love jade!

Keep in mind... there are different tones and kinds of jade. If interested in green, typically, a deep shade of green is seen as the most desirable. There is also white jade (NOT green jade that is of lesser quality, a completly different beast altogether)... Red jade (glorious tones)... and sometimes, you can get a piece of jade with different types together.

Some ways to spot fake jade (er, in terms of a loose stone or an all-jade piece of jewelry, like a bangle, etc.):

-too light (weight)
-too clear (could be a sign of glass)
-tiny tiny air bubbles (another indication of glass)
-tap it w/ something harder, like a pen to hear the sound

That said... true, great quality jade should change its color as you wear it more! True! I have a jade pendant in the shape of a peach; it's a lighter green (cheaper quality :eek:) and when I used to wear it everyday, the green tone actually deepened!

Hope some of this can be of help... I'll try asking around w/ more of my relatives as far as jade characteristics.

As for how to purchase, sorry... I have a ton of relatives in and around Taiwan/China/ Hong Kong and some connections to jewelers here in the States so we tend to get pieces for much cheaper than retail and it's easier for us to just name an ideal piece and :poof: get it. :eek:

You can get better ideas if you have a nearby Chinatown/ Chinese jewelry store to browse in person.
 
what do you mean exactly by made in the usa? mined here, or is it synthetic?


another question... chris (and others) you mention that a simple solitaire band would be inexpensive... what exactly do you mean $ wise? i ask because.. well, i'm on a VERY low budget. i realize most spend thousands for these things, and i am very much talking in the hundreds.

am i crazy??

re: jade - thanks devilot. good tips. i am basically talking about dark green jade... as that is what we saw a lot of in new zealand. in a way i'd like it to actually be new zealish jade, such as what is shown here..

does it make sense that i'd deal with a local dealer, who would have a band, and then through them maybe i/we could acquire a new zealish piece of jade, and then have the local place put the two together? or...? i know nothing of the process!
 
jelloshotsrule said:
another question... chris (and others) you mention that a simple solitaire band would be inexpensive... what exactly do you mean $ wise?
Click to expand...
A simple gold (white or yellow) solitaire band can cost as little as $100. I have no idea what the cost of a loose jade stone is, but you should be able to it for under $1000 pretty easily.

Just don't be too cheap on the ring. Keep in mind that she'll wear it every day for the rest of her life (hopefully).

does it make sense that i'd deal with a local dealer, who would have a band, and then through them maybe i/we could acquire a new zealish piece of jade, and then have the local place put the two together? or...? i know nothing of the process!
Click to expand...
Sounds like a solid approach. Should work well.

The jeweler may even know of a place to get the jade stone you want.
 
My engagement ring cost £25. :) It's a plain silver band (Liam's dad's reaction was "Christ. You should have asked me - I'd have cut a slice of a copper pipe for you if you'd asked." :p ). I really like simple stuff - any sort of stone would have been too fancy for me. :eek: He asked me somewhat spontaneously (and ringless) and we chose the ring later - at Tate Modern, no less. Him not having a ring at the 'moment' didn't bother me at all, and I love the ring, so all's good. Maybe other girls might not like that though - I'm notoriously relaxed about all that stuff but am aware that many others aren't. :p

I like the idea of the jade though - it's really nice that there's a relevance to it to the both of you.
 
Three Words: American Gem Society

My best advice is to go to this website: www.ags.org

The American Gem Society is a organization that certifies diamonds and other stones. There also have certify jewelery stores that meet their VERY high standards. They have a list on there website on stores close to you. You won't find any 'mall' stores on this list!!!

Seriously, this is where I started looking for information on engagement rings, and I'm glad I did.

One last piece of advice: If the jewel store you are at doesn't treat you well because of how money you have to spend, walk out.... A good store will treat well no matter hwo much money you have. (The store where I bought my wife's ring sold a 17 CARAT diamond ring for $225,000 and rest assured it wasn't to me!)
 
thanks for the link todd- there's a place right in the town i live in and it seems cool. family owned and such... much cooler look and feel than zales or some other such ****.

lau- i think mystery woman is much like you, but she does have some jewelry that has some stones.. and i get the sense that in a way she's waiting for me to be ready (i am 6ish years younger than she is) and so me taking the initiative, getting a ring and popping the question will all be a sign of that (duh). at some point in my life i was sure the 25 cent ring was the way i'd go, but then i saw how green they made my fingers. hahahahah


chris- it's less about being cheap and more about not having much $. though i totally understand the sentiment (not skimping on something that should last a lifetime) and will definitely get the best i can afford.

thanks again all!
 
A friend of mine was considering getting a jade engagement ring and did a lot of research into it. Multiple sources convinced him that jade is much too fragile for a ring that will be worn daily for many years (if all goes well). You don't really want your engagement ring shattering...I don't know how much bad luck is associated with that.
 
Knowing nothing about jewelry at all, I took some time to google around, and found this site:

http://www.hkjewellery.co.uk/

They've got a bunch of cool designs already, but I didn't see anything with jade, however they offer this:

http://www.hkjewellery.co.uk/default.asp?Page=commissionstepbystep

where you can commission a ring to be custom made, where you could most likely get something made with Jade. They're sneaky about not including a price on that page though, so you'd probably have to contact them.

Anyway, thought it looked cool and figured I'd pass it on. :)
 
You can choose either the band first or the gem first.

My only other word of caution regarding jade is this-- even if it is of high quality, it can easily fall out of its setting and worse; could break into pieces if that does happen.

My father had a gorgeous traditional Chinese jade gold ring and his particular piece of jade was incredible. But after wearing it daily for over 30 years, the stone fell out and broke apart. :( It's really not the same afterwards. Some others are 'luckier' in that their stone just fell out of the setting and were able to just get it placed in there again. :shrug:
 
I think that it's also important to remember that it's just a thing. I agree that you should get as nice of one as you can, but if it breaks or gets lost, all that means is that it is broken or lost. It doesn't mean a thing about you or your relationship.

There are so many little things to get caught up in during the process of becoming engaged and getting married, it's important to remember the big picture.
 
miloblithe said:
There are so many little things to get caught up in during the process of becoming engaged and getting married, it's important to remember the big picture.
Click to expand...
... the big picture that your in-laws will have of the two of you? :p I kid, I kid!
 
jelloshotsrule said:
and i get the sense that in a way she's waiting for me to be ready (i am 6ish years younger than she is) and so me taking the initiative, getting a ring and popping the question will all be a sign of that (duh).
Click to expand...

I totally see your point there - sounds like a good way to prove yourself, as it were. Maybe having the ring beforehand is definitely a good idea, but I wouldn't go crazy on the price - spend what you can afford and get something thoughtful and all should be good. I'd hate it if someone totally overspent on me.
 
great points milo, devilot, and lau...

i definitely agree on price in general. and i know that mystery woman feels the same. that said, i want someTHING of quality just the same as i want a quality computer, or camera, or whatever. and seeing as this IS a symbol (albeit just a symbol of course) of our relationship/love/etc, i don't plan on skimping. given that i'm a poor artist, i have no choice but to skimp relatively anyways. hah

devilot- any idea if there are ways to get the stone set that are basically more sturdy? my mom lost her engagement diamond at some point (gave my dad a reason to upgrade from the crappy one he got when he couldn't afford so much). ultimately, it is just a thing, but it can't hurt to try to keep it around ALAP (as long as possible..)

thanks again!
 
jelloshotsrule said:
devilot- any idea if there are ways to get the stone set that are basically more sturdy?
Click to expand...
I just called around to those more in-the-know and asked them...

They said that the best setting is like the traditional type w/ the little prongs all around? Does that make any sense?

My dad's ring was almost like... a little 'bed' with the gem just 'glued' in, but the more traditional prong-like setting will definitely be better in the long run.

:edit: This is so much fun! I sort of wish I was getting closed to engaged. Haha, it seems so neat to plan and think about something as 'silly' as an engagement ring. Sigh. I'm sure no matter what you end up with, I'm sure she'll love it and all the effort you put into the ring!
 
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