I will do my best.
As far as I know, the memory controllers, either through nVidia or Intel can only address up to 6GB of RAM in that chipset. There are no 3GB sticks of RAM, so each RAM slot has to be able to correctly identify a 4GB stick of RAM, which is why 8GB is recognized but cannot be addressed/used. The MacPro's use a different chipset, which allow far greater than 8GB to be used, theoretically, they're only limited by the number of slots they have and the maximum available per stick/slot.
Hellhammer is correct, though, that it is a hardware limitation and not a software one. Logically speaking, why else could some machines that are running Leopard be able to use more than 8GB and some not?