is there a way to delete items or to move them to my laptop (mine seems to only want to work the other way - laptop to appletv). i have tried everything i know, and my next step is to reset.
With

TV, you adjust your settings in iTunes to control what is sent to

TV's hard drive and what stays on a hard drive associated with your laptop. If your

TV's hard drive is full, you need to keep more of your content on the laptop (or laptop connected) hard drive (with the latter still available via iTunes).
It's pretty easy to do this. Open iTunes. Click your

TV Device in the left bar. You should see a series of tabs across the top (Summary, Movies, TV shows, Music, etc). Click into those tabs. I'm guessing you have some of the "Sync ________" options checked (which is telling iTunes to push content onto the

TV hard drive). Uncheck one of them- say Movies- then click "Sync" (button) down in the lower right. Watch the gauge and you should see space get freed up on your

TV. If not enough, uncheck another option and hit the Sync button again.
All the content available in iTunes should still be available on your

TV even with "Sync ______" unchecked. Such content will now stream to your

TV from your laptop when you want to watch/listen to it.
Note that you can pretty much stream everything (except photos I think), so unchecking all of the "Sync ________" options should yield an almost empty

TV hard drive that still plays everything via streaming. This is much like thinking of the hard drive in the

TV like temporary buffer space (like computer RAM) in which a movie from your laptop is streamed for playback then released when you are through watching that program.