What is the best battery conditioner for the original Unibodies?
What do you mean by "battery conditioner"?
Not just a charger, but one that calibrates and optimizes the battery.
Your answer is in the link I posted. Chargers don't calibrate MBP batteries. Read the link for the calibration process, as well as information on how Apple notebook batteries are designed and how they optimize themselves.
Best battery conditioner for Unibody?
Using it and not worrying about it.
That doesn't work when the computer is plugged the whole time.
If it has a removable battery, deplete it to 40% capacity and store it in a Ziploc bag in the refrigerator.
Why did you get a portable computer?
That doesn't do anything that simply using your Mac won't accomplish. If you use your portable Mac primarily plugged in at the desk, it's a very simple thing to reach up and unplug the MagSafe adapter every 2-3 days and let it run on batteries for a few hours, then plug it back in. Then simply calibrate every month or so and you'll be fine. It's really quite simple and works very well. But hey, if you want to part with $150 for nothing, knock yourself out!