My Dell calibrated just fine using the Spyder 4.
To be honest I am not sure what all of the advantages and disadvantages are between "hardware" and "software" calibration. I can, however, touch on the subject.
My understanding is that what they are calling hardware calibration is where the Color Look Up Table (CLUT) is stored on the monitor itself. The software calibration is stored as a file and then loaded into the CLUT of the video card.
What the CLUT does is adjust the color performance of the display. When you calibrate the monitor the CLUT is used to correct the colors displayed. Say you display red and your monitor is a bit cool then that red will have a bit of blue and green in it. The CLUT for that color is adjusted until the colorimeter says it as close to the desired red as possible.
Does the quality change between a hardware and a software calibration? I don't see where it would be any different, it is just a different means to the same end. Where it could be significant is if there is a difference in the hardware behind the scenes. Say the video card has a 10-bit CLUT but the monitor supports a 12-bit table. Your video card is still only going to deliver 10-bit performance but the monitor can, in theory, handle a higher color fidelity.
Another possible issue is if you have two monitors plugged into one video card you will only be able to calibrate one of them. Video cards typically have a single CLUT so it will only be able to be calibrated to one display - unless you switch back and forth between profiles.
Now go way up to the chart to the top of the line Eizo monitors and some of them have built in colorimeters. These do benefit from the hardware CLUT. In the middle of the night these monitors will self calibrate. This is great because it is automatic and the computer doesn't even need to be on. The down side is the multi-thousand dollar price tag.
Will you have any issues with the 2412 or the 2413? No. Which would I pick? The 2413 for the 99% Adobe RGB color space opposed to 74% on the 2412. (The 2412 doesn't even cover the entire sRGB space.)
As a beginning or casual user will you see a difference? Probably not. As you advance the wider color space might become important to you. With that in mind if the two displays are close in cost then I would strongly recommend the better display.
Now this is all just the tip of the iceberg. Your display, printer and even the specific paper you use will all have their own color gamut and they probably won't overlap each other 100%. At this point you can spend years studying color theory to fully master the color work flow.
If you will be selling prints in a gallery for $10,000 each then go for the Eizo. If not then be happy with the Dell for a long time to come. I am still refining my profiles for monitor and printer but I was still getting good prints before I calibrated the monitor for the first time.
Reading too much can make it seem like a difficult decision where the slightest mistake will haunt you. Don't sweat it too much. Take a look at the wonderful photography to be found on this very forum. I am willing to bet that many of the photographers here do not calibrate their monitors and yet they still produce outstanding work. A good monitor will get you 90% of the way there. A good, calibrated monitor 96% and a top of the line system might bring you to 98%. (Yay for internet stats.)
A monitor and a print will never look 100% identical. This is because a monitor produces light and a print reflects it.
Take a deep breath, pick a monitor and make some wonderful art.