Big phones and wireless headphones are a scam to make you buy man-purses and smart watches

[JTK Awesome]

Why else make phones to big for a pants pocket? Why else make wireless headphones almost a necessity?

It’s a scam. The bag companies realized that they were only getting 50% of the market (those that identify as female). By making phones too big, and then making accessories like APP necessary, those who identify as male now also need a bag.

And if your phone is in a bag, then you can’t use it as easily. Requiring the purchase of a smartwatch to act as the second screen + remote control for the phone!

I see you, Tim Cook. I got you figured out.

 

[GaryGnu]

Yup. Completely with you on this. Same can be said for the water bottle industry, making all those large bottles that need straws. So unmanly.

And, I need a bag to hold my moisturizer. Plus my gloves. Oh, and the notebook to jot down all my thoughts and affirmations as I think of them. And it needs to be large enough to hold my banana (the fruit), because you certainly don't want those in your pockets. It helps to keep your hands free so you can hold on to that ice-cream cone you're about to lick, while imagining it may be something else. Next thing you know, some man somewhere might actually admit they have some type of human emotion...in public! I know. Someone might see you enjoy a garden, or sunset, or want a cocktail or something else.

Real men only need a wallet and a flip phone and a pen-knife. Anything else, might as well just painting your nails, put on some nice strappy heels and call yourself Sally.

It's all a scam to turn us red-blooded, meat eating, football watching, beer drinking men into emotional, feminine people so we can be conquered by the real men of Russia or something.

That's clearly it.

 

[JTK Awesome]

Real men only need a wallet and a flip phone and a pen-knife. Anything else, might as well just painting your nails, put on some nice strappy heels and call yourself Sally.

It's all a scam to turn us red-blooded, meat eating, football watching, beer drinking men into emotional, feminine people so we can be conquered by the real men of Russia or something.

Russia, or Crab People?

South Park is Gay!

"South Park is Gay!" is the eighth episode of Season Seven, and the 104th overall episode of South Park. It first aired on October 22, 2003.[1] The town of South Park celebrates the new, hip metro-sexual craze.[1] At the bus stop, Cartman, Kenny and Stan are talking about Stan having ruined his...

southpark.fandom.com

 

[Nada Ting]

So how do you carry your little dust-mop dog?

 

[GaryGnu]

So how do you carry your little dust-mop dog?

In a darling little cross-body bag, (preferably with a rainbow, or a BLM slogan or something else woke) with a small compartment for treats where the adorable little fur baby can nibble to her hearts content. Really, do you expect my little angel to be on a leash? She might get triggered, after all.

It's so hard to a modern man. You'll have to excuse me, all this typing has chipped my clear polish, and I *must* make an emergency manicure appointment.

 

[GaryGnu]

Russia, or Crab People?

South Park is Gay!

"South Park is Gay!" is the eighth episode of Season Seven, and the 104th overall episode of South Park. It first aired on October 22, 2003.[1] The town of South Park celebrates the new, hip metro-sexual craze.[1] At the bus stop, Cartman, Kenny and Stan are talking about Stan having ruined his...

southpark.fandom.com

Real men don't watch cartoons. They're for children and men with man-bags for their giant phones.

 

[smirking]

Excuse me, man purses are the shiz. I wouldn't ever leave the house without my man purse.

I'm joking, but serious. Making sure my man purse is always by my side is my way of fighting the ADHD tendency to forget to bring things I need. If I need to bring something for an appointment the next day, it immediately goes in my messenger bag so when I have to leave the house, I'm not having to remember 5 things I need. I just remember the bag.

I've so conditioned myself to never be separated from my man purse to the point that my women friends have remarked about how freakish I am about always having it on me. We'll just be walking around the corner to get coffee and they'll be like, "Did you really need to bring the bag? You're making us wonder what you keep in there."

 

[GaryGnu]

I've been joking pretty much the whole time. And while I don't carry a man purse or man bag as such, well, I do have to carry my laptop to work, so that goes in a bag. And, when I go to the market I have a backpack type bag for most of the groceries (living a few blocks away from a large outdoor street produce market) when I do the almost daily shopping. And if I have to take something somewhere. So, yeah, I pretty much have a bag with me at all times, as do most men I see in the city, at least on work days.

I just read the original message as "phones are so big, they can't even fit in my cargo shorts, and I put everything in my pockets. Gallons of milk, boxes of cereal, the tomahawk steaks for dinner. I wouldn't dare carry any type of bag. Why is Apple trying to turn us all into girly-men or something"

I have a regular 13, and while it's not the biggest phone ever manufactured, it's not tiny either. Somehow, I manage to fit that, and some keys, a pouch of tobacco (which is larger than my phone, but a little more flexible), a Zippo and maybe one or two other things in the two front pockets. I generally wear basic straight leg Wranglers or Docker style trousers, so it's not like I've got these giant kangaroo pockets on me. Even saying all that, when I leave work today, I'll put the laptop in the bag along with my lunch box (yes..a lunch box, because I bring lunch from home) and my keys and phone in my standard size pockets. And, it's not like I have these huge pants. I'm 5'3" or so and way about 140, so it's not like I'm a giant bear of a man. I'm definitely on the smaller end of adult male physical size, meaning the pockets on my pants are proportionally smaller than most.

 

[Sammael]

Tim Applecook, is just the latest effeminate agent from Planet Femdom OICU812, in the Labia Constellation whose prime directive is a slave planet of double X chromosome zombies to nanny for their young. They have been at it a long time, they have brought our planet several “gifts” over the years such as: Pain Killers, Electric Razors, Power Tools, and in my humble opinion, the most lady like invention of all time, Air Conditioning.

I, amongst others, are planning a counter offensive. We are boarding our Great Space Coaster, in the very near future. Most of us, probably won’t make it back, but, that’s what men do, sacrifice.

VIVA LA RESISTANCE!!!!!!

 

[elvisimprsntr]

I almost exclusively wear 5.11 Tactical pants/shorts with multiple Velcro pockets for all the modern [redacted] we need to carry around. iPhones, AirPods, wallet, multi tool, holster, Rambo knife, OC spray, etc.

 

[GaryGnu]

And shoes. Real men don't have soft feet.