Bored with Success

[noannualfee]

Hear me out.

Married with a wonderful wife and 2 kids. I’ve been working a very cushy work from home job, making great pay with a pension, wife works hybrid with great pay and amazing RSU’s. Amazing home, debt free, solid savings and investments, mortgage is 28% of gross.

I’m bored. I’m looking for small side hustles worth my time but I have no time because of current job and kids. I put some of my old Knick-knacks on eBay and when I get a sale I get small thrill. I’m trying to start small blog but have yet to get approved for ads to make a few bucks, but I barely have time to put quality into the posts.

Don’t have much current desires other than a Rolex I’m on the long waitlist for, and retirement is 15 years away with a Patek Philippe and Porsche 911 Turbo S waiting for me.

Not sure how to get out of this mental rut despite having a solid foundation but zero time to make money out of side hustles.

Thoughts other than sounding like a brat?

 

[User #07242024]

Are you doing side hustle for money or fun? If just for fun, how about trying exercise like walking, running etc. Health is wealth too.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Hear me out.

Married with a wonderful wife and 2 kids. I’ve been working a very cushy work from home job, making great pay with a pension, wife works hybrid with great pay and amazing RSU’s. Amazing home, debt free, solid savings and investments, mortgage is 28% of gross.

I’m bored. I’m looking for small side hustles worth my time but I have no time because of current job and kids. I put some of my old Knick-knacks on eBay and when I get a sale I get small thrill. I’m trying to start small blog but have yet to get approved for ads to make a few bucks, but I barely have time to put quality into the posts.

Don’t have much current desires other than a Rolex I’m on the long waitlist for, and retirement is 15 years away with a Patek Philippe and Porsche 911 Turbo S waiting for me.

Not sure how to get out of this mental rut despite having a solid foundation but zero time to make money out of side hustles.

Thoughts other than sounding like a brat?

I daresay that many would wish to be in a position, or a situation, where they are "bored by success", or bored with their life as it currently is, when one is finally secure and personally happy.

Anyway, my advice is to make time.

In other words, re-arrange your life, your current priorities, to give yourself more time to do whatever it is that you would like to do, to spend time on.

Then, ask yourself what - and why - making money (when, by what you have written, you already have more than enough) is something that you need, and/or whether this is something that you need, wish, want to actually spend some more time on.

Is making money the goal of the "side-hustle", (as it would be for many others), or, is it simply a visible validation of success in this particular endeavour? In other words, is it a mental challenge - a bit of fun - or money that you seek from this side-hustle?

What interests you - you need to ask yourself - about such 'side-hustles'? Is it the challenge of selling something - a specific product? Or any product? The challenge or thrill of the sale? The whole idea of some sort of entirely new, and fresh entrepreneurial activity?

 

[casperes1996]

You talk about side hustles as if the goal is to make money but it sounds like money isn’t really a concern and you don’t really want anything that requires money you don’t already have. So I would advise picking up a hobby focused on fun rather than hustle. Pick up an instrument for example. Take evening classes. Learn a new language potentially with the wife if she’s interested. Or take up pottery; something.

 

[Mousse]

Find a hobby. Woodworking, photography, painting, collecting...anything that brings joy into your life. You don't have to be good at it. To quote one of my favorite authors...

 

[frou]

It sounds like all the different facets of money completely rule your brain

 

[kagharaht]

Everybody is different and sees life and value differently. For me, love of my wife, family and kids overrules monetary gains and toys that can be had with it.

 

[Apple_Robert]

You wrote "I’m bored. I’m looking for small side hustles worth my time but I have no time because of current job and kids."

After reading your OP several times, there are a few things that stood out to me. I also want to preface what I am going to share by saying I am not judging you merely offering insights you may not have realized.

1) Success in life as a person is not measured by how much money one has in the bank, being on a Rolex waiting list, wanting a Porsche, or having a mortgage in the state you do.

You went out of your way to state such things. That tells me you have (over the years) allowed your self-worth and identity as an individual, husband, and father to become directly about money. And that is also how you judge and interact with others. And having money as the mental focal point of your identity means that no matter how much money you have in the bank, or finally get that Rolex etc. it will never be enough.

2) You aren't bored with success.

I believe what you labeled as boredom could very well be a real emptiness inside yourself due to how you currently define yourself, marriage, family, and others you know or come into contact with.

3) You said you wanted a side-hustle but really didn't have time due to your current job and kids. Conversely, you also made note to share in your OP that while you enjoy the ability to work from home, you don't find the job challenging.

A) You failed to mention what should be a very important presence and being in you life, your wife and I find that very telling.

B) Because you may have made money and material items the core of your being and viewpoint of success, it has driven you to do work that you don't find challenging or fulfilling (apart from the money). Because money is your compass, you have allowed it to dictate that you go 'through the motions' (clocking in physically but not mentally).

4) If one measures everything in life by money and status, it always leads to one feeling empty (and unfulfilled) inside and most importantly, it all but secures the impossibility of creating and experiencing deep, meaningful relationships with others.

Look back at your OP. You said you wanted a side-hustle but didn't really have the time. You stated what those reasons were. Do you realize you have labeled your kids as distractions from keeping you from getting more money?
I could very well be wrong here but, given what you said, I think you are living in a house where everyone is busy doing their own thing. And all of those things in each person's world keeps them from seeing and acknowledging the lack of interpersonal relationships in the family.

You set the tone for the family and created ( "Cats in the Cradle" song without consciously realizing it) the very things that have prevented you from being fulfilled inside. Time for you to make changes in yourself, with your wife, and with your kids. If not, you will be forever empty inside looking at your wife and kids and realizing you don't really know them and have been passing like ships in the night year after year.

Edited to add: It takes guts to make the post you did to strangers and I commend you for doing that.

 

[avz]

I would say that as far as being "on a treadmill(in the matrix)" you are doing quite well. It is up to you if you really want to be "the resistance" and resist the degradation caused by the "mice paradise".

"Every housewife must learn how to run a State." - V. I. Lenin

I am guessing that Louise Perry of Maiden Mother Matriarch podcast understands very well what this quote is all about.

 

[noannualfee]

I’d like to thank everyone for all their replies. My apologies if I lacked context, I wrote this while on my desk treadmill taking a break from work. 4:30am PST go figure.

Like what I mentioned, my wife is amazing, happy to spend time with her in the evening. My kids are twins, barely 2.5 years old, we are in the messy middle (cue The Money Guys) filling financial buckets for their future and in anticipation of the upcoming obligations.

I’ve always had a reselling side hustle in my life since I was a kid. And I guess I brought that up because I feel like it’s the only non constant in my life.

My current hobby is fitness and working out, and that I have to sprinkle throughout the day.

Looking at all the advice and replies, I feel like my current purpose is to fill financial buckets because the huge responsibilities I have, and that my paychecks are just meant to fulfill stuff in the immediate for others, and maybe later I’ll see some benefit for myself.

I have yet to get a firm grasp on this made up rut of mine, but I assure all of you my wife and kids are my world, and I apologize for lacking in that context.

 

[kagharaht]

I’d like to thank everyone for all their replies. My apologies if I lacked context, I wrote this while on my desk treadmill taking a break from work. 4:30am PST go figure.

Like what I mentioned, my wife is amazing, happy to spend time with her in the evening. My kids are twins, barely 2.5 years old, we are in the messy middle (cue The Money Guys) filling financial buckets for their future and in anticipation of the upcoming obligations.

I’ve always had a reselling side hustle in my life since I was a kid. And I guess I brought that up because I feel like it’s the only non constant in my life.

My current hobby is fitness and working out, and that I have to sprinkle throughout the day.

Looking at all the advice and replies, I feel like my current purpose is to fill financial buckets because the huge responsibilities I have, and that my paychecks are just meant to fulfill stuff in the immediate for others, and maybe later I’ll see some benefit for myself.

I have yet to get a firm grasp on this made up rut of mine, but I assure all of you my wife and kids are my world, and I apologize for lacking in that context.

Nice to know wife and kids #1. Every bit of money I have gained, saved, earned and invested is all going to my wife and kids if I pass. Or when we pass to our kids. I can spoil myself, but mentally my priority is Wife and kids...

 

[MacRazySwe]

Could it be that you've been so caught up in your career, wife and kids (you mention 2.5 year olds) and financial obligations that maybe somewhere along the lines you've lost yourself a bit?

To me, it sounds like you're looking for self-fulfillment. Creating a blog, side hustle, et.c.

However, you quickly begin to measure the success of those activities by the income which they generate, despite the fact that you already seem to have this figured out. This to me, suggests that perhaps;

a) Your current job doesn't challenge/inspire you enough (you mentioned it's cushy)
b) Your self-fulfillment comes from money, which means you'll never be done and ultimately never "happy".
c) Connected to b, the money in itself has reached a point of diminishing returns.

I think what you need is some form of hobby that allows for self-fulfillment while at the same time completely disconnects with the income mindset. Some ideas:

- Take on a personal challenge - e.g. to complete a marathon/triathlon or whatever. Document your journey.
- Do something to give back - help your friends or family, engage in your kids, your community, or something similar.
- Travel and meet new people
- Connect with nature - camping/fishing/biking/hiking
- Learn a new skill - e.g. a new instrument, a new language, arts et.c.
- Find a passion project - buy an old project car/boat/bike to restore. Learn to DIY. Document your journey. Everyone with money can buy a new car, but it takes passion and elbow grease to resurrect an old item and turn it into yours. The fulfillment that comes from this (in my opinion) is far greater than buying something new.

These are just a few examples that came to my mind.

 

[Certificate of Excellence]

I think it is fine to focus on your financial building of generational wealth. Not money you enjoy rather money your children will enjoy and build on for their kids. I am quite happy where I myself am at and what I have. I know my wife will be fine financially. I focus on maximizing my wealth for my kids when I’m dead. That’s the game I
Play.

 

[Apple fanboy]

Hear me out.

Married with a wonderful wife and 2 kids. I’ve been working a very cushy work from home job, making great pay with a pension, wife works hybrid with great pay and amazing RSU’s. Amazing home, debt free, solid savings and investments, mortgage is 28% of gross.

I’m bored. I’m looking for small side hustles worth my time but I have no time because of current job and kids. I put some of my old Knick-knacks on eBay and when I get a sale I get small thrill. I’m trying to start small blog but have yet to get approved for ads to make a few bucks, but I barely have time to put quality into the posts.

Don’t have much current desires other than a Rolex I’m on the long waitlist for, and retirement is 15 years away with a Patek Philippe and Porsche 911 Turbo S waiting for me.

Not sure how to get out of this mental rut despite having a solid foundation but zero time to make money out of side hustles.

Thoughts other than sounding like a brat?

Make more time for your kids. They are only young. They will be grown up and gone behind you know it. No amount of money is worth trading that for.

For context we lost our daughter when she was 14. I’d trade the house, the cars and everything else I own for another 14 years of her in my life.

 

[LeeW]

I have no time because of current job and kids

See this issue?

 

[casperes1996]

I think it is fine to focus on your financial building of generational wealth. Not money you enjoy rather money your children will enjoy and build on for their kids. I am quite happy where I myself am at and what I have. I know my wife will be fine financially. I focus on maximizing my wealth for my kids when I’m dead. That’s the game I
Play.

Nothing wrong with it if it also gives you a fulfilling life and you enjoy it.

 

[Certificate of Excellence]

I’d like to thank everyone for all their replies. My apologies if I lacked context, I wrote this while on my desk treadmill taking a break from work. 4:30am PST go figure.

Like what I mentioned, my wife is amazing, happy to spend time with her in the evening. My kids are twins, barely 2.5 years old, we are in the messy middle (cue The Money Guys) filling financial buckets for their future and in anticipation of the upcoming obligations.

I’ve always had a reselling side hustle in my life since I was a kid. And I guess I brought that up because I feel like it’s the only non constant in my life.

My current hobby is fitness and working out, and that I have to sprinkle throughout the day.

Looking at all the advice and replies, I feel like my current purpose is to fill financial buckets because the huge responsibilities I have, and that my paychecks are just meant to fulfill stuff in the immediate for others, and maybe later I’ll see some benefit for myself.

I have yet to get a firm grasp on this made up rut of mine, but I assure all of you my wife and kids are my world, and I apologize for lacking in that context.

I guess I am confused about you perceiving you're stuck in a rut. Your job is to fill the financial bucket and pay for other peoples things. I mean that rut is your married parent job description lol. I'm in it too. We did this to ourselves and that is ok lol. This is the way of being a provider and parent. We sacrifice our wants and desires and definitely our time to support and better our families.

You're not being a brat in that I understand the feelings behind what you are pondering. My wife and I have three boys 8, 5.75 & 1.75 y/o. I feel the loss of my hobbies and lifestyle as a single-creative-musician-artistic person and then married-dual income-w/o kids couple regularly (and I know my wife does as we joke about it often lol) but our concious choice and greater goal became kids (us later in life - her 30s & me 40s). That was our choice and it sounds like that was yours too. I know the reality of spouse-parent-provider vs the idea of it when one makes these decisions can be shockingly different lol but theres no way to inject that understanding up front. We just live through it and figure it out.

It's fine to carve out a bit of time for yourself but the bulk of it goes either directly to your wife & kids or in the pursuit of providing for them. This is the way. As my boys have gotten older, I try and work the remnants of my hobbies into time with them. For example in two weeks we're going camping in the mountains for the weekend and we'll fish and set camp, I'll let them build the fire this year. I'll let my oldest use my pocket knife to whittle some hotdog sticks (maybe lol). Maybe I'll take my oldest out for some target practice with his grandpa. As has been poignantly spoken to, time is precious, duration unknown and absolutely finite. Carve out that time for yourself fine - but spend it wisely.

 

[avz]

I think it is fine to focus on your financial building of generational wealth. Not money you enjoy rather money your children will enjoy and build on for their kids. I am quite happy where I myself am at and what I have. I know my wife will be fine financially. I focus on maximizing my wealth for my kids when I’m dead. That’s the game I
Play.

This is a very impressive power of foresight that I am sure we all want to have.

The mechanisms of legitimizing and protecting the wealth can be very different "tomorrow" than what we still(sort of) have today.

 

[Certificate of Excellence]

This is a very impressive power of foresight that I am sure we all want to have.

The mechanisms of legitimizing and protecting the wealth can be very different "tomorrow" than what we still(sort of) have today.

Guys, I cannot see into the future LOL

That statement is a positive statement of my wife’s character. I’ve known her for over 20 years & been married to her for 17 of those. I know my wife extremely well, she is my best friend and I know that whatever BS life throws at her, she will do what she needs to do to provide & be successful. Speaking of foresight, the financial choices she has made are part of that assessment.

So no, I don’t know the future, but I do know my amazing wife.