Borrowers

[glocke12]

ok, vent time again...this time against frequent "borrowers" of things...

if your one of those, and you absolutely have to borrow, here are some rules:

1) If you borrow something, return it in a timely fashion. Not six months later.

2) If you borrow something, return it in the condition that you recieved it in...if you cant return it in the same condition, make up for it somehow.

3) Dont ask to borrow something while you already have something of mine in your possesion...

4) If you borrow something, and do not return it, or return it broken or otherwise damaged, dont act surprised when you ask to borrow something else and I say no...


5) and lastly, remember when your using whatever you have borrowed that I worked pretty hard to get the money to pay for that item, so please treat it with respect...

 

[andiwm2003]

Neither a borrower nor a lender be

Meaning: Literal meaning.

Origin: From Shakespeare's Hamlet, 1603:

LORD POLONIUS:
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

 

[larapumkin]

one of my friends borrowed thousand bucks from me saying she's in urgent situation against the laywers and stuff.
she works fulltime. she buys stuffs to her boyfriend, she even bought a new car.
when i have meal with her at some restaurant, she'd go like oh i'll buy this dinner and you can subtract that off from the amount that i owe you.
she'd even say that when she's getting me a cup of coffee.
never got a penny from her.
no more relationship with her.

well part of it is my fault that i borrowed her money though.
Seriously, it's really terrible that having money thing going on between friends.
Never borrow money from and never let them borrow from you. if the situation is a must and if you are borrowing a big amount, pay back all amount at once. your friend probably is not a loan company who accept 30 yr installation payments.

 

[Aeolius]

And I was expecting a thread about THIS :

 

[Sun Baked]

Can I borrow your ....

Plus, this is a different time ... people hardly take care of their own crap these days, and you expect them to care for yours.

 

[glocke12]

Can I borrow your ....

Plus, this is a different time ... people hardly take care of their own crap these days, and you expect them to care for yours.

Yeah...honestly though, I just dont get the whole borrowing thing...I dont like borrowing from people at all..I think Ive borrowed something from someone once, and it was my brother. He had the item back within a week of me being done with it...

The thing that gets me are the people that ask to borrow the SAME item time and again..its like, dude, get your own...

 

[Mr Kram]

i don't let others borrow anything unless it's something i don't need and would rather gift to them with no strings attached.

i myself, would never borrow anything.

 

[Melrose]

...and I was fully prepared to tell you about the race of small humans living underneath my floor boards...

I very rarely let someone borrow something of mine, and only then in one of two cases: They really, really need it for some valid reason or They are trusted friend or I know they will take care of it.

IF I borrow something, IF IF IF, I take it's tenure in my hands very seriously. If I damage it (which has yet to happen), I replace it. I treat it with respect since it's not mine and I didn't pay for it in the first place. I expect other people who borrow my stuff to do the same (IF they borrow it).

Money, on the other hand, I'm usually pretty free with lending...

 

[0098386]

I'm not stingy and would let any of my friends borrow any number of DVDs, games, whatever. The same goes for them. Infact I've still got a couple of films I borrowed that I should get round to watching.
If the borrowed item gets broken or damaged then the person responsible will replace it.

But we've not been brainwashed into rebuying everything over and over I mean why would I spend £12 on a DVD that I only ever plan on watching once when a friend has it. So long as you trust each other what's the problem?

 

[glocke12]

I'm not stingy......

Well, I dont really think its about being stingy...Once I was pretty free about loaning stuff out....CD's books, somewhat more expensive items . Than I noticed a trend that most of the time I would:

1) Not get the stuff back at all
2) get it back MONTHS later but in bad condition

or what to me is the worse:

I would have to ask for it back MULTIPLE times, and the people who borrowed whatever it was acted like it was theirs to do with what they want (in one case someone I had loaned something to actually loaned the item out to someone else)....

So, Ive just stopped loaning....

 

[sushi]

If you decide to loan friends money, always do it with the idea that it is a gift.

That way if they pay you back, you are in for a nice surprise.

I lend things out very selectively these days. My experience is that many folks won't respect your things and will return them in worse condition than they received them.

 

[ucfgrad93]

If you decide to loan friends money, always do it with the idea that it is a gift.

Excellent advice, however, I would add family to that as well.

 

[rpaloalto]

I actually have no problem lending people things. If it's something they need. I like to be able to help people when I can.
Don't get me wrong I have been burned, in more than few situations.

What comes around goes around

 

[InvalidUserID]

If I can, I usually will.

With my close circle of friends, I let them borrow pretty much everything: car, clothes, cash, even my apartment (funny story here but I'll save it for another post). But it goes both ways, if they expect me to let them borrow something, they had better not flinch when I ask for a favor in return.

I agree with the cash as a gift. I've lent out cash to friends knowing it would be very tough for them to pay it back. Thankfully I've never been burned. They might have taken much longer than expected but the money has always been returned.

 

[LeahM]

Honestly, for myself anyway, I couldn't care less. I'll let my friends borrow whatever they want, unless it something that could get me into trouble, like my car (if they got into an accident) or something that isn't mine. If I don't get it back, whatever, its just another 'thing'.

I suppose the only things that have bothered me that I haven't received back was a calculator in HS but that was because the girl who didn't give it back when I found it in her locker told me it was hers and not mine. When it was clear that she just put a sticker over my name. But whatever, life goes on.

 

[sushi]

Excellent advice, however, I would add family to that as well.

Completely agree.

Many friendships and family relationships have been spoiled over money and loans.

In fact, we're seeing it happen with a parking lot that we use here in Japan. The owner died, and now his three kids are squabbling over the land. They all have different ideas. It will be interesting to see how it all plays out.

In our case, we had to find a new parking spot in another lot.

 

[Samarium]

I have something clear: Never lend your Mac/iPhone. Nobody will take care as much as you do.

 

[jodelli]

There is a person in my life to whom borrow basically means a loan of indefinite aspect. I know that going in though, that lent items are basically going to disappear.

 

[glocke12]

Honestly, for myself anyway, I couldn't care less. I'll let my friends borrow whatever they want, unless it something that could get me into trouble, like my car (if they got into an accident) or something that isn't mine. If I don't get it back, whatever, its just another 'thing'.

I suppose the only things that have bothered me that I haven't received back was a calculator in HS but that was because the girl who didn't give it back when I found it in her locker told me it was hers and not mine. When it was clear that she just put a sticker over my name. But whatever, life goes on.

But doesnt it bother you that if you dont get it back, and need it than you have to buy another one?

 

[LeahM]

But doesnt it bother you that if you dont get it back, and need it than you have to buy another one?

Not really. If I wasn't using it at the time, it probably wasn't that important to me. Its not really like anyone would ask to borrow my silverware

 

[0098386]

I have something clear: Never lend your Mac/iPhone. Nobody will take care as much as you do.

I've never known anyone lend out a computer before, or a phone!

 

[Melrose]

I've never known anyone lend out a computer before, or a phone!

I'll let someone use my cell phone, but I'm usually right there with them anyway so it's a bit different than letting someone take it home.

 

[spinnerlys]

I once lent my iBook to a good friend of mine for several months.

I got it back better than I had given her, it was cleaned like a baby.


On the other hand I have lent DVDs to some people (not close friends), who lent them away, so I never got to see them again.
One film in particular I even never got to watch (101 Reykjavik).

But what the hell it is just stuff (even if I paid good money for it).

 

[Kamera RAWr]

Funny... happening onto this thread and all. At the moment, I'm trying to get a DVD back from a guy at work. Its been quite a few months. When I ask for it he talks like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Its kinda frustrating, but then he's the kinda guy who likes to say **** just make people mad... and I mean he does it everyday to quite a few people. Probably just going to give up on getting it back.

Yes, its just a DVD, but its the principle of the thing!

 

[Melrose]

I used to be a lot looser with lending, but then a couple years ago I let a firend borrow two nearly-brand-new CDs. She had them for a couple weeks (no biggie) but when she gave them back the discs themselves were almost destroyed. One wouldn't play at all and the other skipped through several songs. They looked like someone had played hockey with them face down.

She insisted they were like that when I let her take them. Right. Ah well. I tightened up my lending habits, and viola! solved.