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Can't believe I'm posting this. (Advice - I can has it?)

upsguy27

upsguy27

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Jun 25, 2007
1,210
19
Utah
Gah. Not sure why I'm looking for girl advice (not what you think) on the Intarwebs (no offense), but what the Hell. Might as well. So here goes:

I'm a junior in High School (not important - moving on...), and I've known this girl for almost 3 years, and we're really good friends. I've liked (that kind of like) her for a while now, and I'm not sure if she likes me back. So, you'd say, ask her out. Well, if she doesn't like me, then I'm worried that our awesome friendship would be ruined :)eek:). But if she does, then hooray for me. :D But, should I ask her or not? Should I take the chance of ruining our friendship? And would it even be ruined? So, that's it. Thanks for listeni- err, reading. What should I do?
 
Looking back to my high school years I was totally head over heels for my friend Michelle. Well I never had the guts what so ever (even after obvious hints). If I did date her chances would have been really high that I would have just ruined it. Michelle and I are still friends, something like 15 years later. That would not have happened if we dated.

I am not saying that she would have said no and started to avoid me. I know (after some hilarious conversation) that she would have, and in return I would have ruined it.

Less of advice and more along the lines of a different perspective. Sorry, I just realized this could make it tougher.
 
upsguy27 said:
Well, if she doesn't like me, then I'm worried that our awesome friendship would be ruined :)eek:). But if she does, then hooray for me. :D
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Not quite. No matter what, your friendship will change.

If you say nothing to her, the relationship between the two of you will change (gradually, but it will nonetheless).

If you tell her, and she likes you too, then your friendship has gained a new strange dynamic that can end very well (you guys turn out to be high school sweethearts and walk off into the sunset), or awkwardly.

If you tell her, and she doesn't like you, then your friendship will still change (it might not be a bad change though).

In the end, I say go for it. Life is too short to imagine "what if." The worst that can happen is that she doesn't like you. The sun will still rise, you will still be the same person you are, she will still be the same person she is, and life will go on. ;):)
 
get her drunk and make a move ... if she goes for it then your good. if she doesn't go for it just say you didn't know what you were doing and blame it on the alcohol
 
I think we need a new sticky thread at the top of community discussion called "Ask ghall" :)

But, in all seriousness, I had this similar thing happen to me as well. Never pulled the trigger, and after hearing things from some of her friends, turned out to be a good move. Much more valuable to me as a friend than an awkward turn-down or something like that.

You need insider info! Get some close friend of hers to prod her for you. I mean, it's high school... isn't that how it works? :D
 
kjs862 said:
get her drunk and make a move ... if she goes for it then your good. if she doesn't go for it just say you didn't know what you were doing and blame it on the alcohol
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omg, if i didnt have all my mac gear in my sig i would totally make that my sig haha!!!!
 
People are often afraid to tell their friends their true feelings in fear of ruining the friendship, but the ironic thing is, if you keep holding it in, it will ruin the friendship in the end anyway.
 
my ex-girlfriend and i were best freinds for over 3 years, i saw her more often than my family members and well yea... then we got to a point it couldnt go on as friendship, i kissed her... she left her boyfriend and we came together, she told me that she had already thought about kissing me along time b4, but she hadnt the nuts (obviously... :D ), the releationship was great, we were together for 2 years, but it ended like 2 month ago, cuz she left the city cuz she started university at another place and well that didnt work... after all i dont regret aynthing, the friendship couldnt have go on and i had 2 great years... friendship is now broken, but it would have anyway in some way... id ask her (the trick with the alcohol isnt bad...)
 
What's with the alco suggestions. Haven't any of you seen SuperBad? If she likes you, you won't even need it.


Personally, if I were you, I'd do something silly like ask a female friend of hers. Of course, this girl will tell her other friends, and everyone will know, but at least you'll get this sorted out earlier. If this isn't worth the public attention you'd get from these friends, then forget it. If you think it's cool, then just go ask her female friends.
 
Abstract said:
… Personally, if I were you, I'd do something silly like ask a female friend of hers. Of course, this girl will tell her other friends, and everyone will know …
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exactly. if you give a hint it will be a lot easier to just go up and ask her later on especially if her and her friends are thinking and chatting about it.
 
Abstract said:
What's with the alco suggestions. Haven't any of you seen SuperBad? If she likes you, you won't even need it.


Personally, if I were you, I'd do something silly like ask a female friend of hers. Of course, this girl will tell her other friends, and everyone will know, but at least you'll get this sorted out earlier. If this isn't worth the public attention you'd get from these friends, then forget it. If you think it's cool, then just go ask her female friends.
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whats the point of that... instead of asking her friends you could ask her directly with the same result, she'll know it & either shell b pleased or not... no extra step needed...

one advice maybe... do not just listen to your heart, it might hurt...
 
I am in a similar situation....a little different, and glad that I ran into this thread. Not helpful necessarily, but useful...(no, not the alco comments :p)
 
in the words of coldplay VIVA LA VIDA!

and in the words of phas3 when he's drunk VIVA LA VIDA BIATCH!
 
upsguy27 said:
Gah. Not sure why I'm looking for girl advice (not what you think) on the Intarwebs (no offense), but what the Hell. Might as well. So here goes:

I'm a junior in High School (not important - moving on...), and I've known this girl for almost 3 years, and we're really good friends. I've liked (that kind of like) her for a while now, and I'm not sure if she likes me back. So, you'd say, ask her out. Well, if she doesn't like me, then I'm worried that our awesome friendship would be ruined :)eek:). But if she does, then hooray for me. :D But, should I ask her or not? Should I take the chance of ruining our friendship? And would it even be ruined? So, that's it. Thanks for listeni- err, reading. What should I do?
Click to expand...

You have a few good points and I know how it feels.

And I've been you before, and I went for it, and we're still good friends, and we joke about it. So I say go for it.
 
if it hasn't happened now, odds are she doesn't have those feelings for you and you are a "friend." Slim chance she does like you like you do her, but this isn't the movies. Slim.

Move on romantically, but stay friends with her. Don't ignore her or treat her worse.

Look at is as a lesson most men have gone through; if you like someone, you need to speak up sooner to find out. Answer is always no until you say something.
 
chilipie said:
I think someone's sarcasm meter is broken...
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I wasn't being sarcastic. I just chose a film that I'm sure people in his age group are probably familiar with.

And like Telp said, it's the lesson that's important, not the film. All the "get her drunk" advice isn't necessary. Be yourself. She may like you, not the guy you think you need to be to win her over.
 
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