Having the same issue with my 13 Pro Max with two different CarPlay Devices. Followed every direction for both including updating firmware and hard resets multiple times. Bluetooth and CarPlay links but CarPlay cannot be launched. I used to wait two iOS version before updating, going to start doing that again. Apple’s software revisioning process must have an error in it causing CarPlay to be loaded with bugs. I’ve only seen this on *.1.1 versions, but has happened many times.