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Coke Addict?

J

JsR

macrumors regular
Original poster
Feb 28, 2010
117
0
Newcastle
Really looking for some advice guys, this is doing my head in :(

Back story - I work with a girl, we shall call her Lauren and she is the same age as me (22) and she is stunning. Everyone wants her - thin, boob job, club promoter etc - really nice personality and I think she is lovely. I've worked/known her since March. Recently started becoming quite close friends.

Girl 2, call her Julia - worked with us for about 6 weeks. Average looking - nothing special and a little bit in love with herself.

Today, girl number 2 (Julia) told me that her beautician knew girl number 1 (Lauren) from doing her spray tans etc. She said that this girl was a coke addict and had been for many years. She also said that her Mum is apparently nuts and that she is a bully and had nothing nice to say about her.

Me and the first girl know loads of people as we both went to separate private schools but know many of the same people from social scenes.

My dilemma is - do you think I should ask this girl if it's true? This new girl has been telling everyone in the bank about it and I don't think it's right. If someone was talking behind my back, I would want to know. But I don't want to 1) Upset this girl if it isn't true and 2) Seem like a snitch.

If this got to the managers, she could potentially be fired! I think she is a stand up girl and she has always been real with me (well, to my awaresness) but I hate people bitching behind others backs. Possibly the other girl is just jealous...? She also texted me after work and said "Don't mention what I said today will you?" But she has easily told 30 odd people, and she knows I'm close with this other girl.

We are all going to a club tonight for someones birthday so both girls will be there.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm sorry if I have rambled, I'm just really confused and need help :confused:
 
Eh, I would just be like, oh yeah? Ok and blow it off. Assuming you don't have a strong connection to girl 1.

If you and girl 1 are pretty good friends and she trusts you then I would say something outside of work about the other girl is spreading a rumor that she does coke and you want girl 1 to know so she doesn't get fired.

Just don't bring it up at work or at the club when y'all are drinking.
 
Never trust a junkie, at least. Some take it a step further and completely avoid them. I'd say get a few chuckles while you can but don't let her find out where you live.
Cocaine aside the two women you describe sound like slight horrors. #1 in particular.
 
Sounds to me like girl 2 is jealous and spreading BS rumors, especially with her "don't tell anyone I said this" comment. There is nothing wrong with telling girl 1 about it. You might get to see a cat fight and those are always exciting.
 
JsR said:
Really looking for some advice guys, this is doing my head in :(

Back story - I work with a girl, we shall call her Lauren and she is the same age as me (22) and she is stunning. Everyone wants her - thin, boob job, club promoter etc - really nice personality and I think she is lovely. I've worked/known her since March. Recently started becoming quite close friends.

Girl 2, call her Julia - worked with us for about 6 weeks. Average looking - nothing special and a little bit in love with herself.

Today, girl number 2 (Julia) told me that her beautician knew girl number 1 (Lauren) from doing her spray tans etc. She said that this girl was a coke addict and had been for many years. She also said that her Mum is apparently nuts and that she is a bully and had nothing nice to say about her.

Me and the first girl know loads of people as we both went to separate private schools but know many of the same people from social scenes.

My dilemma is - do you think I should ask this girl if it's true? This new girl has been telling everyone in the bank about it and I don't think it's right. If someone was talking behind my back, I would want to know. But I don't want to 1) Upset this girl if it isn't true and 2) Seem like a snitch.

If this got to the managers, she could potentially be fired! I think she is a stand up girl and she has always been real with me (well, to my awaresness) but I hate people bitching behind others backs. Possibly the other girl is just jealous...? She also texted me after work and said "Don't mention what I said today will you?" But she has easily told 30 odd people, and she knows I'm close with this other girl.

We are all going to a club tonight for someones birthday so both girls will be there.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm sorry if I have rambled, I'm just really confused and need help :confused:
Click to expand...

I'm surprised nobody made a "we need pictures or this didn't happen" joke yet.
 
Stay away from drama, what makes you think you should get involved. Who cares about other peoples problems, let them make mistakes and figure it out for themselves.
 
Tell girl 1 you have an 8 ball and ask her to do some blow off your junk. If her eyes light up at the idea, she's a coke head.
 
Loves2spoon said:
Stay away from drama, what makes you think you should get involved. Who cares about other peoples problems, let them make mistakes and figure it out for themselves.
Click to expand...

mcrain said:
Tell girl 1 you have an 8 ball and ask her to do some blow off your junk. If her eyes light up at the idea, she's a coke head.
Click to expand...

Choose either one of the above.:D

It's not good to get involved with other people's business unless you are REALLY close friends.
 
leekohler said:
My advice? Get some new friends. These don't sound worth having.
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It's obvious his other head is doing some of the thinking. Why else would he detail the relative looks of the females to the level he did? He's either heavily weighing the conclusion girl #2 is jealous, or he's looking for some personal justification to tell girl #1 in hopes the confidence results in the horizontal mambo.

mcrain said:
Tell girl 1 you have an 8 ball and ask her to do some blow off your junk. If her eyes light up at the idea, she's a coke head.
Click to expand...

This has mixed results. If she's the conservative type, she may balk at the inevitable waste that comes from the obstructions in the terrain.
 
Well, shoot for friends with benefits and skip worrying about the drugs until you have proven it true or false.

Really don't want to get in too deep with addicts, until they hit bottom and are willing to change. Even being friends with an addict can be troublesome, since you don't want to help them enough to be considered an enabler. But being there for them can help, like rolling them over so they don't drown in the gutter but leaving them there.

If you can get girl 1 and 2 in bed at the same time, take a video camera with you. ;) :p
 
My gut says I'd have a go at girl 2 for acting like she is, girl 1's business is none of hers whether she takes cocaine or not, if everyone in banking that did coke lost their job there wouldn't be many bankers left. If you told girl 1 it'd just spark of a load of drama.


Sounds like she's just trying to backstab the girl. That said I have quite strong ethical objections to anyone getting fired for substance use if they're still able to perform well at their job. I hold this view despite taking a dim view of cocaine.
 
If you want to find out for yourself if #1 is a coke freak, invite her over a couple times. If expensive items and dvds start to turn up missing she stole them to pawn so she's a coke head. Invite friend #2 over to figure out if shes crazy a couple times if all the stuff in your bathroom medicine cabinet somehow winds up floating around in your toilet tank an there's a turkey in the dish washer (especially if you didn't buy a turkey) #2 is crazy.

Either way if your intentions are just to get laid a couple times putting up with crazy or druggie is a matter of weighing the pros and cons, but always wear a rubber just in case because you don't want to get AIDs for one thing and for another it helps prevent crazy bitches from reproducing (check the condoms for pinholes too)
 
Sounds to me like girl number 2 is a jealous little gossip regardless of how true or untrue the coke story is about number 1. Spare yourself the hassle and carry on as if you've never heard it. Chances are girl number 1 is used to hateful snipes and might not want the drama herself.
 
JsR said:
... I think she is a stand up girl and she has always been real with me...
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As real as her boob job and spray tan will allow, of course.

Isn't THIS a clue? She's doing a lot to herself to cover up what she feels are flaws...regardless of a coke habit or not.
 
mstrze said:
As real as her boob job and spray tan will allow, of course.

Isn't THIS a clue? She's doing a lot to herself to cover up what she feels are flaws...regardless of a coke habit or not.
Click to expand...

Doesn't everyone have a preference for how they like to look, often modifying what nature and environment gave them? Women wear make up, get their hair done, nails, etc. It's not such a big deal. Coke rumours aside, a woman deciding to have a single event of plastic surgery or spray tan doesn't indicate anything other than she wanted bigger boobs and darker skin.
 
iBlue said:
Doesn't everyone have a preference for how they like to look, often modifying what nature and environment gave them? Women wear make up, get their hair done, nails, etc. It's not such a big deal. Coke rumours aside, a woman deciding to have a single event of plastic surgery or spray tan doesn't indicate anything other than she wanted bigger boobs and darker skin.
Click to expand...

In my mind, too much modifying is tied at the very least to a deep-seated insecurity. The girl can't be confortable in her own skin so she has to modify.

Maybe I am in the minority, but I have never liked women who tan and would always eschew someone who had breast augmentation. In all cases, these woman have always demonstrated to me (my personal experiences/feelings) that they are so insecure that a relationship would never be worth it.

Your experiences may vary...
 
mstrze said:
In my mind, too much modifying is tied at the very least to a deep-seated insecurity. The girl can't be confortable in her own skin so she has to modify.

Maybe I am in the minority, but I have never liked women who tan and would always eschew someone who had breast augmentation. In all cases, these woman have always demonstrated to me (my personal experiences/feelings) that they are so insecure that a relationship would never be worth it.

Your experiences may vary...
Click to expand...

Uh-oh. The hammer is about to come down. :)
 
^ LOL, no, I won't go all neo-maxi zoom dweebie feminist on anyone tonight. :p

mstrze said:
In my mind, too much modifying is tied at the very least to a deep-seated insecurity. The girl can't be confortable in her own skin so she has to modify.

Maybe I am in the minority, but I have never liked women who tan and would always eschew someone who had breast augmentation. In all cases, these woman have always demonstrated to me (my personal experiences/feelings) that they are so insecure that a relationship would never be worth it.

Your experiences may vary...
Click to expand...

Too much modifying, maybe. (Though I hasten to add "too much" is still subjective.) A little modifying just doesn't always indicate some sort of deeper issue.
I've known a lot of women with boob jobs and most of them are pretty ordinary, well-adjusted people. Many of them are mothers who wanted to repair what having children did to them. Some are just women who had no other self-esteem issues but couldn't overcome how much they hated their small breasts, so they sorted it out and that was the end of it. I've also known a few that didn't know when to stop but they didn't represent the majority.

I understand everyone's experience may vary but I do think there are a lot of stereotypes and judgemental attitudes about boob jobs and many are pretty well off the mark. Anyway, don't want to derail the thread, just felt I should say this much.
 
Fair enough. :)

It was just odd that those two items in the OP just jumped right out at me as 'warning signs'...and coupled with the rest of the info..who knows?
 
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