I've searched around some but am still confused. if I want to control my bro's xp machine remotely over the Internet from my MacBook pro using osx's built in vnc, what needs to be installed on his end if anything?
He will need to install a VNC server, such as tight vnc.
Your other option is to use logmein, which is free, he'll still need to install an application, or gotomypc. Logmein is free, for personal single computer use, gotomypc is not.