Convincing Parents - University

[cleanup]

I'm a junior at a private international school in Shanghai. It's time to start thinking about universities because I have to apply later this year. I've been looking at these two in particular:

Emory University and Georgia Institute of Technology.

As far as I know Emory is a very respected university in the U.S., as is GA Tech. The main issue here is my parents are not willing to pay for me to attend America. Why?

I'm Canadian. If I attend a Canadian university my tuition will range from five to ten thousand dollars, because I am a Canadian citizen. If I attend GA Tech my tuition is more in the range of 16,000. And if I attend Emory I'll face an all-inclusive yearly expense of about $42,000—not exactly cheap. I believe Emory is on average even more expensive than Princeton and Yale. No wonder it has an endowment of 4 billion dollars.

It's not that my parents can't afford it, it's that they're not willing to spend 200 G's on undergraduate studies. My brother is currently attending a Canadian universities and his expenses are about 16 000 a year all inclusive. Because of this my parents are very stubborn about letting me attend a private American university—my study habits aren't as good as my brother's.

You might ask, why Emory and GA Tech? I want to go to one of those two because they're in Atlanta, and in Atlanta is a girl who I've sort of promised myself to. Right now she thinks I'm attending either of the two schools in a year and we can meet.

Unfortunately my parents know this, so now they believe that I'm not considering these two universities because I'm seriously considering my post-secondary education, but because of a girl.

Which is a half-truth. I'm definitely thinking about my education. Emory is a fantastic university. I would attend Georgia Tech—the girl attends it, and it is a public university, and international tuition is about half that of Emory, but its list of majors and programs is rather limited compared to Emory, despite being bigger, because it is largely an engineering school. The majors and programs I'm interested in aren't really options at Georgia Tech. Their liberal arts program is rather limited...

You might also ask why don't I just go to Canada? In Canada the post-secondary education system works like this: you choose your major right away, regardless. I'm not ready for that. My cousin wasted a year in an Electrical Engineering program at the University of British Columbia. I don't want to be floundering around doing something I don't like, even if I do have to pay much more money.

So I need some help in convincing my parents to allow me to attend Emory, or at the very least, an American university near Atlanta. I was wondering if anyone else had this sort of trouble. I'm really in a problem here, because I want more than anything to be able to go to school in Atlanta and see this girl while I'm at it. We miss each other a lot, and even if it doesn't work out between us, it's not like I wasted my time—Emory's a great school. I don't think my parents realize that, just because they've never heard of it. They'd rather I attend an Ivy League school or a large research university in Canada. But, I doubt I could get accepted into an Ivy League school, and I don't feel like going back to Canada.

So please help out a poor lost teenager. He needs some advice...

 

[janey]

Whatcha majoring in? (roughly...)
There's a great undergrad engineering school in Boston (i think) called Olin (well...franklin w. olin college of engineering) that gives full scholarships to all the students (read: free). Not accredited yet (this year's their first graduating class), but it's free and good!
http://olin.edu/

Also, ditto about going to school just cause of a girl...if she's really worth it, and you mean as much to her as she means to you, she'll wait. No need to potentially screw up something or go to the wrong college because of her right now.

Edit: crap, just noticed your bit about georgia tech not being for you..hmm...why apply to a college that's not right for you?

 

[cleanup]

Whatcha majoring in? (roughly...)
There's a great undergrad engineering school in Boston (i think) called Olin (well...franklin w. olin college of engineering) that gives full scholarships to all the students (read: free). Not accredited yet (this year's their first graduating class), but it's free and good!
http://olin.edu/

Also, ditto about going to school just cause of a girl...if she's really worth it, and you mean as much to her as she means to you, she'll wait. No need to potentially screw up something or go to the wrong college because of her right now.

Edit: crap, just noticed your bit about georgia tech not being for you..hmm...why apply to a college that's not right for you?

Well I'm not particularly sure if it is or not, so I don't really want to take my chances.

I understand that. At first I was going to Canada for university, and she told me she would wait. Then I decided America and Emory was a better fit for me. I don't have $200,000 in my pocket, though, so ultimately it is my parents' decision.

What I need is some advice on how I can convince my parents to let me make this decision. Or maybe someone knows an alternative?

 

[virividox]

are u at Shanghai American School? any change you know Mr. Compton?

anyway iono if going to a school for a girl is such a good idea. but you have some time ahead of you. canada has great unis tho. good luck with convincing your parents. you can get financial aide

 

[Queso]

When I first attended university (that's British for college) anyone who had a boyfriend or girffriend split with them within three months and started seeing someone else. When you go to college you will change. Your friends will change and so will your priorities.

Your parents probably know this too, and the fact that you have fixated on Atlanta as a location rather than Emory as a school sorts of gives the game away as to what you're really thinking. I'd hate for you to regret your choice of school based solely on this girl if you don't stay together. Think about study first. That's the whole reason you're going in the first place.

 

[virividox]

make sure you really want this university, not just cuz of the girl. cuz if u end up not staying together and the only reason you went there was her, you wont find yourself enjoying your time there and it might reflect on your work. just give it some hard thought, and try to see it from your parents eyes, their foresight is one comodity you cant easily replace.

 

[mpw]

Ooo, it's a girl thing, juicy.

Your parents probably think that choosing which school to attend because of a girl is a bad idea, and they are quite possibly right.

Assuming that money is not a huge issue, and I assume that because you're considering it reasonable that your parents shell out huge lumps of cash for you, then you could explain to your parents that the Atlanta school is better or at least as good as those in Canada and that as you'll be seeing this girl wherever you go you'll be spending a lot of money and time (potential studying time) travelling whenever you can if you need to.

You could also say that you're going to Atlanta to be with your girl, they can pony up the dough for college or not but do they want you to get an education or not?

Could the girl travel to Canada?

My realistic advice would be to choose the best school for you and try not to piss your parents off. Is this girl really 'the one'?

 

[stonyc]

Your parents probably think that choosing which school to attend because of a girl is a bad idea, and they are quite possibly right.

I agree.

Assuming that money is not a huge issue, and I assume that because you're considering it reasonable that your parents shell out huge lumps of cash for you, then you could explain to your parents that the Atlanta school is better or at least as good as those in Canada and that as you'll be seeing this girl wherever you go you'll be spending a lot of money and time (potential studying time) travelling whenever you can if you need to.

It's not that my parents can't afford it, it's that they're not willing to spend 200 G's on undergraduate studies. My brother is currently attending a Canadian universities and his expenses are about 16 000 a year all inclusive. Because of this my parents are very stubborn about letting me attend a private American university—my study habits aren't as good as my brother's.

I think that this is a crucial statement... it's not that your parents can't afford the $200,000+ for an education at Emory, but from your statements your parents see a few things 1) your study habits may not be good enough for an academic setting like Emory's, 2) your study habits may be affected by the proximity of the girl in question, and 3) why spend $200,000+ on an education at Emory when you can receive just as good, if not better education elsewhere (ie. your brother is).

I think that those are extremely valid concerns for your parents, and given the superficial evidence (read: the girl), I don't know that you can convince them otherwise. The only recourse left to you is to show your parents that there are equally, if not more compelling, academic reasons why a $200,000+ education is better than other educational opportunities available to you. If those reasons justify that cost, then fine... any parent would wish only the best for their children and would do what they can to see that those wishes are fulfilled. But from my perspective, it all returns to the girl.

My realistic advice would be to choose the best school for you and try not to piss your parents off. Is this girl really 'the one'?

I agree. Take the girl and costs completely out of the equation, for the sake of the argument... where can you get the best undergraduate education for you? Think even outside of Georgia... like other people have said in this thread, people and situations can change especially in college. What it comes down to is what environment will allow you to best succeed and who will help you to best succeed? Hint: the answer to the second part of that question is your parents and family. The first part you will need to think long and hard about.

 

[gwuMACaddict]

There's a great undergrad engineering school in Boston (i think) called Olin (well...franklin w. olin college of engineering) that gives full scholarships to all the students (read: free). Not accredited yet (this year's their first graduating class), but it's free and good!

going to an unacredited college is a waste of time and money

 

[gloubibou]

Ucla

Go BRUINS!

Seriously a nice place to be.

Sun, beach, Hollywood, beautiful campus, ... reputable university

 

[adk]

Choosing a school because of a girl is a horrible idea. If your parents are really that loaded, talk them into a few plane tickets between canada and atlanta.

 

[Sharewaredemon]

You don't have to pick your major at Mount Allison University until after your second year.

 

[baby duck monge]

going to an unacredited college is a waste of time and money

As someone who was accepted into their First first class (I would have spent a year building up the curriculum and recruiting before the first actual class was accepted) but declined because I started to question my Engineering plans (ended up as an English and Philo. major), I can assure you that this school would not be a waste of time, and since it's free it would also not be a waste of money. It is set to become one of - if not the - premier engineering schools in the country.

 

[CubaTBird]

this is one of those situations where if you really feel strongly about this girl, and she feels the same about you then you need to do it... your parents will pick and prod you not to do it and to hold out and its a stupid idea to go to a school just because of a girl.. but look, even if it doesn't work out between you two.. both of those schools are still very reputable schools.. and there will always be more girls to choose from.. yeah i know this is kinda tongue and cheek advice but still...

im my past my parents have told me not to do things because they didn't make sense or because i would "get behind in school".. i did them anyway because i felt they were right.. it's weird.. its like a subconscious feeling you know your doing something right but you just can't get your parents to understand.. in the end i met some really cool people and what not..

 

[MarkCollette]

Why go to school when you don't even know what you want to do?

 

[gwuMACaddict]

It is set to become one of - if not the - premier engineering schools in the country.

After doing some research, looks like you may be right. They certainly offer a novel approach to learning engineering.

I still think that in most cases, attending an unacredited university can be a waste of time.

 

[cleanup]

There's a problem in the fact that I don't want to go to Canada because of the education system.

You don't have to pick your major at Mount Allison University until after your second year.

How many schools in Canada offer that? Not many, I don't believe...

What I'm looking for in a university is a low teacher-to-student ratio with high diversity. Emory offers both and use those two factors in their brochure and advertisements. In fact I've already worked those two reasons into my college essay, because my current school is like that.

So even if I don't attend Emory, I really don't want to attend a school in Canada.

The cost is absolutely overwhelming though, rivaling that of most Ivy League schools.

I'll be looking into scholarships I can earn while here in Shanghai.

this is one of those situations where if you really feel strongly about this girl, and she feels the same about you then you need to do it... your parents will pick and prod you not to do it and to hold out and its a stupid idea to go to a school just because of a girl.. but look, even if it doesn't work out between you two.. both of those schools are still very reputable schools.. and there will always be more girls to choose from.. yeah i know this is kinda tongue and cheek advice but still...

im my past my parents have told me not to do things because they didn't make sense or because i would "get behind in school".. i did them anyway because i felt they were right.. it's weird.. its like a subconscious feeling you know your doing something right but you just can't get your parents to understand.. in the end i met some really cool people and what not..

It sort of feels like that. But ultimately it's still up to my parents...

Does anyone know of any other liberal arts, small, diverse universities near Atlanta?

 

[OutThere]

What's wrong with McGill...it has a better name than either of the schools you names, and should be very inexpensive for canadians. Plus, Montreal is one of the coolest cities ever.

Don't waste it all for a girl.

 

[mariahlullaby]

Go to Ga Tech, not Emory!!

I'm a Georgia resident and know both universities well. My mom graduated from Emory and used to work at their hospital.

Ga Tech is an EXCELLENT school, even if you don't go into engineering. It's in the middle of Atlanta but still has a beautiful, diverse campus. The facilities are AMAZING (their library is fully stocked with PowerMacs and 20" ACDs...some with dual displays). I was really close to going there. Also, you can study abroad and pay the instate tuition rate.

Emory is nice, not to knock anyone going there, but to me, it's always been very cutthroat, very preppy, elitist, and just a bad element that takes away from the university -- and eductation.

 

[gekko513]

I'm sure you can change your major with some effort even in Canada, at least to a related field. You may end up having to take a few extra classes compared to someone who followed the course straight through, but that's not such a big deal, is it?

Does Canada have some kind of scholarships for students who want to study abroad? I know Norway has.

 

[cleanup]

Go to Ga Tech, not Emory!!

I'm a Georgia resident and know both universities well. My mom graduated from Emory and used to work at their hospital.

Ga Tech is an EXCELLENT school, even if you don't go into engineering. It's in the middle of Atlanta but still has a beautiful, diverse campus. The facilities are AMAZING (their library is fully stocked with PowerMacs and 20" ACDs...some with dual displays). I was really close to going there. Also, you can study abroad and pay the instate tuition rate.

Emory is nice, not to knock anyone going there, but to me, it's always been very cutthroat, very preppy, elitist, and just a bad element that takes away from the university -- and eductation.

How can I pay the in-state tuition? that would be fantastic, but I'm not an American citizen...

 

[cleanup]

I'm sure you can change your major with some effort even in Canada, at least to a related field. You may end up having to take a few extra classes compared to someone who followed the course straight through, but that's not such a big deal, is it?

Does Canada have some kind of scholarships for students who want to study abroad? I know Norway has.

That's all well and good, but I'm very undecided in my major. I'm looking into Architecture, English, English Literature, Journalism, Sociology, Economics, and International Affairs. In America I can take classes delving into all of not most of these areas, but in Canada, if I wanted to experience them all, I'd have to switch majors six times, and I believe you can only switch a certain amount of times, and only per semester. So even if I could switch six times, I'd be in my third year before I even experienced all six fields.

 

[cleanup]

are u at Shanghai American School? any change you know Mr. Compton?

anyway iono if going to a school for a girl is such a good idea. but you have some time ahead of you. canada has great unis tho. good luck with convincing your parents. you can get financial aide

I attend SCIS, so no, I don't know Mr. Compton. Sorry! =)

Yeah I do have time ahead of me... And I know that Canada has some great universities, some of which are world-reknowned, like Toronto or Queens... I just don't like the you-better-know-what-you-want-to-do system that 99% of the universities use.

Financial aid, while nice, seems kind of pointless for me. I suppose I could suggest it, and I could pay it back myself. My parents can afford the education, but they're not willing to pay it at present... not all of it, at least...

But of course, I don't want to go in debt as soon as I enter university...

 

[janey]

After doing some research, looks like you may be right. They certainly offer a novel approach to learning engineering.

I still think that in most cases, attending an unacredited university can be a waste of time.

Yeah, echo what baby duck monge said.
Olin is solely unaccredited because their first graduating class is this year. Expect them to be accredited rather soon (and accreditation is retroactive to all degrees given by the college from the beginning). And yes, it appears to be a really sweet school if it has what you're looking for - everyone I know that goes there or has considered going there fell in love.

It's free, it's a quality education, and there really is nothing like being in a smaller close-knit community (olin has around 300 students...cal and ucla both have 20,000+ undergrads, caltech is close to a thousand, etc.). I've been in gifted programs for almost a decade, and all the programs I was in consisted of at most like 400 students (that was for my HS, grades 9-12), a small, dedicated (well, that's questionable..) faculty and committed (a little too much sometimes) parents. I miss that now, seriously. Not the education, but the community. It's just not the same anywhere else.

 

[mariahlullaby]

How can I pay the in-state tuition? that would be fantastic, but I'm not an American citizen...

At Ga Tech, you'll pay the out-of-state tuition rate (which is still less than Emory because it's public...but 10X better). However, if you decide to study abroad for a semester or two, while your overseas, you'll be paying the in-state tuition rate; so it's actually cheaper to study abroad (a lot of internationals end up spending a lot of time abroad this way).

http://www.oie.gatech.edu/sa/programs/

I cannot stress to you how underestimated Ga Tech is; you'll have great job opportunities and if you study at their liberal arts college (Ivan Allen), you'll have all the amazing classes of a liberal arts college but the facilities of an egineering college (the foreign language center blows any other university's away). And it's very Mac friendly (the Computer Science lab has a ton of PowerMacs and 20" monitors and it's lit by natural light...very beautiful).