David Boon famously vomited on the hallowed Adelaide Oval turf in a WSC game in 1988 before a live nationwide TV audience of millions (he went on to make 122 and win Man Of The Match). Seriously.
David Boon once drank 52 beers on a plane trip from Australia to England.
David Boon once knocked a huge six into the VIP box at the MCG, hitting Chuck Norris square in the forehead and turning him into a fundamentalist christian washed-up lamewad who thinks he's a cowboy.
David Boon does not wear a groin protector. Cricket balls are made of leather to withstand the impact of David Boon's groin.
Like most people, David Boon can crush a beer can against his forehead. Unlike most people, the beer can does not need to be emtpy.
For every one of his famous cans of beer he drank on his way to England, David Boon made love to the flight stewardess twice.
During an MCG bomb threat evacuation, David Boon had the whole grounds cleared out in 13 seconds, with a sharp whistle and a point to the exit.
David Boon once blew 0.98 when tested for drink driving, and his moustache had to drive the rest of the way home... via a bottle shop.
In games of skill, an inexperienced player may be referred to as a NOOB, meaning he is the complete opposite of David Boon.
The Ashes in the urn that Australia and England play for are not the ashes of bails, they are the remnants of a Grey Nicholls bat that failed David Boon... Once.
David Boon never hits a ball for six, he rebounds them off his chest..
David Boon halted the Cronulla riots by calling out, "Oi. Stop playing silly buggers."
A drunken David Boon once burst into the Channel 9 commentary box and exposed his penis. Richie Benaud was heard to later describe the penis as "magnificent".
David Boon once straddled an Emu and rode it into Australian parliament demanding the eradication of all girly drinks. As a result, Daiquiris were banned in three states. ]
When a Danish newspaper published a cartoon of David Boon without a moustache, Tasmanians from around the world started rioting.
David Boon can remove his moustache and use it to soak up gravy, polish cricket balls or pleasure a woman.
Amazingly, David Boon's penis also has a moustache.
Scientists once said that challenging Chuck Norris to a fight is the stupidest thing you can do. This is wrong. The stupidest thing you can do is challenge David Boon to a drinking contest.
When David Boon had his first hangover, he vowed never to STOP drinking again.
David Boon could count to infinity. He just can't be arsed.
In drinking competitions, David Boon has been known to take swigs from his competitors glasses when they aren't looking.
David Boon invented the sexual technique known as the Cover Drive.
Boonie's tears don't cure cancer, but they do cure a hard earned thirst as they are 4.9% alcohol.
Any person heard referring to the Boonie cricket figure as a 'Boonie Doll' is quickly dispatched with a cricket bat to the temple.
David Boon despises Metrosexuality so much, that he has taken to growing moustaches on his back for immediate transplant on to at least three members of the current Australian cricket team.
Contrary to the reports in the British tabloid press, David Boon claims he was simply "adjusting his box".
David Boon possesses more fielding talent than any other player, and that is on his non-preferred side. The ICC outlawed David Boon fielding anywhere except for short-leg because he would "Hold too many records."
At night, while David Boon is sleeping, his moustache detaches itself and sneaks out, getting into crazy adventures and solving mysteries.
David Boon uses his Grey Nichols in much the same way as an elephant uses it's trunk - to pick up things, shower himself with dirt, and fire peanuts into his mouth.
During a one-dayer VS the West Indies, David Boon split his bat down the middle, and was forced to bat using only his hand. After several consecutive injuries to the fielding team, the umpires declared the match over. The winner: David Boon.
Boooooooonie........
David Boon once drank 52 beers on a plane trip from Australia to England.
David Boon once knocked a huge six into the VIP box at the MCG, hitting Chuck Norris square in the forehead and turning him into a fundamentalist christian washed-up lamewad who thinks he's a cowboy.
David Boon does not wear a groin protector. Cricket balls are made of leather to withstand the impact of David Boon's groin.
Like most people, David Boon can crush a beer can against his forehead. Unlike most people, the beer can does not need to be emtpy.
For every one of his famous cans of beer he drank on his way to England, David Boon made love to the flight stewardess twice.
During an MCG bomb threat evacuation, David Boon had the whole grounds cleared out in 13 seconds, with a sharp whistle and a point to the exit.
David Boon once blew 0.98 when tested for drink driving, and his moustache had to drive the rest of the way home... via a bottle shop.
In games of skill, an inexperienced player may be referred to as a NOOB, meaning he is the complete opposite of David Boon.
The Ashes in the urn that Australia and England play for are not the ashes of bails, they are the remnants of a Grey Nicholls bat that failed David Boon... Once.
David Boon never hits a ball for six, he rebounds them off his chest..
David Boon halted the Cronulla riots by calling out, "Oi. Stop playing silly buggers."
A drunken David Boon once burst into the Channel 9 commentary box and exposed his penis. Richie Benaud was heard to later describe the penis as "magnificent".
David Boon once straddled an Emu and rode it into Australian parliament demanding the eradication of all girly drinks. As a result, Daiquiris were banned in three states. ]
When a Danish newspaper published a cartoon of David Boon without a moustache, Tasmanians from around the world started rioting.
David Boon can remove his moustache and use it to soak up gravy, polish cricket balls or pleasure a woman.
Amazingly, David Boon's penis also has a moustache.
Scientists once said that challenging Chuck Norris to a fight is the stupidest thing you can do. This is wrong. The stupidest thing you can do is challenge David Boon to a drinking contest.
When David Boon had his first hangover, he vowed never to STOP drinking again.
David Boon could count to infinity. He just can't be arsed.
In drinking competitions, David Boon has been known to take swigs from his competitors glasses when they aren't looking.
David Boon invented the sexual technique known as the Cover Drive.
Boonie's tears don't cure cancer, but they do cure a hard earned thirst as they are 4.9% alcohol.
Any person heard referring to the Boonie cricket figure as a 'Boonie Doll' is quickly dispatched with a cricket bat to the temple.
David Boon despises Metrosexuality so much, that he has taken to growing moustaches on his back for immediate transplant on to at least three members of the current Australian cricket team.
Contrary to the reports in the British tabloid press, David Boon claims he was simply "adjusting his box".
David Boon possesses more fielding talent than any other player, and that is on his non-preferred side. The ICC outlawed David Boon fielding anywhere except for short-leg because he would "Hold too many records."
At night, while David Boon is sleeping, his moustache detaches itself and sneaks out, getting into crazy adventures and solving mysteries.
David Boon uses his Grey Nichols in much the same way as an elephant uses it's trunk - to pick up things, shower himself with dirt, and fire peanuts into his mouth.
During a one-dayer VS the West Indies, David Boon split his bat down the middle, and was forced to bat using only his hand. After several consecutive injuries to the fielding team, the umpires declared the match over. The winner: David Boon.
Boooooooonie........
