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Girl Advice? Please?

007bond

007bond

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Dec 12, 2008
560
1
DFW, Texas
So here is the situation:

There is this girl that I really like. We are good friends right now, and have been hanging out recently. Last night me and her had a deep conversation about relationships and it was great. I really think she likes me and I like her.

There is just one problem. She is obsessed with this other guy...

She constantly thinks of him and tries to place herself in situations with him. She told me and my other friend she wants to get over him. But, she really hasn't been trying. She just keeps telling me she is set on one guy.

So my question is: How do I make her forget about him?

BTW: This guy is a complete player. He has a girlfriend and cheats on her all the time. But, I know for a fact he doesn't like the girl I like.
 
Start being unavailable for one. You're deep in the friend zone and you'll need a good month or two of not hanging out for you to even begin to climb out of there.
 
007bond said:
I really think she likes me and I like her.

There is just one problem. She is obsessed with this other guy...
Click to expand...

Those two statements are contradictory.

If she is really into this other guy, then you are in the friendzone. Good luck getting out of that!

Advice: If you let the girl know about the cheating dude, and then try to swoop in on her then your intentions of sharing that info is questionable. But some girls like guys who are bold. You can always just be completely honest with her.
 
peapody said:
Those two statements are contradictory.

If she is really into this other guy, then you are in the friendzone. Good luck getting out of that!

Advice: If you let the girl know about the cheating dude, and then try to swoop in on her then your intentions of sharing that info is questionable. But some girls like guys who are bold. You can always just be completely honest with her.
Click to expand...

So is it impossible to like two people at the same time? (not being a jerk or anything, i'm just asking)
 
007bond said:
I disagree. I know this guy personally and I am pretty sure there isn't a chance of them hooking up.
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It's high school, of course you know this guy. But you knowing him doesn't mean anything. If he's out of her league then ok, maybe you have a chance but you have to tell her how you're feeling. Otherwise she's oblivious... yes she is.


Annnnnnd I'm unsubcribing to this thread now.
 
007bond said:
So is it impossible to like two people at the same time? (not being a jerk or anything, i'm just asking)
Click to expand...

It's not, but dealing with a girl that seems to be obsessed with someone isn't usually a pretty matter. Your best bet is probably to be honest with her
 
I am afraid this forum is quickly turning into Yahoo Answers.

Tell her that you like her and see what she says.
 
007bond said:
So is it impossible to like two people at the same time? (not being a jerk or anything, i'm just asking)
Click to expand...

It's not impossible - that is why love triangles exist.

And along with alust2013's advice, if she is obsessed with this other dude and vocalizes it to you, that is usually not a good sign. The heart wants what it wants. Best thing is to be honest probably, but you will have to navigate her confusion about her "feelings"..and then you will have to convince her to look your way. If you got to put in this much work, (and if she is worth it) honesty is the key.
 
ahh the wonders of high school,

seems like your jealous, it's natural...

I was in your situation once, just trust her, let her do her thing, you might aggravate her by questioning her motives, instead show her your the better guy but this is something that has to come out of you! ;)
 
You really don't want to be with someone who is hung up on someone else.
If she wanted to be with you, she wouldn't be talking to you about him like you're her best girlfriend.
 
MotleyGrrl said:
You really don't want to be with someone who is hung up on someone else.
If she wanted to be with you, she wouldn't be talking to you about him like you're her best girlfriend.
Click to expand...

This is the correct response.

If you want to do something, better do it fast. The deeper you dig into the friend zone, the less of a chance you have.

And for gods sake do not try to be good friends with her first, and then expect to suddenly find you attractive. It just does not work that way.
 
Read up on "Ladder Theory". Ask Google about it (used to be a site called Intellectual Whores but I believe it is defunct). Learn about the distinction between the Friends Ladder and the Good Ladder.

You are clearly firmly planted on the Friends Ladder. Furthermore, you are this girl's "intellectual whore" / cuddle bitch -- filling emotional voids for her that this other guy cannot (or does not want to). You are attempting to "ladder jump" but this will only result in your being ninja-kicked in the face & hurled into the Abyss.

Disclaimer: Previous is mostly satire paraphrased from IW. If you really like this chick, you might want to communicate it with her instead of us. ;)
 
And judging by the new threads on these forums asking for girl advice from total strangers, I would say Spring has definitely sprung into summer love.

To answer your question OP, just start hitting on one of her friends and maybe hook up with her. She'll get jealous and you'll be Charlie Sheenin' it.
 
If she's talking to you about relationships and how she likes some other guy, that's a pretty big red flag that you're in the friend zone and that you should just move on...
 
This is rather sappy but if you've never read the book 'Yes Man' by Danny Wallace, you should. If you don't want to read the book, watch the film adaptation with Jim Carrey and Zooey Deschanel.

I saw the film and then read the book and it sort of helps you say '**** it.' more often and try different things. In your case, telling this girl how you really feel.
 
I agree. Just tell her how you feel. Be completely honest. See what happens. In retrospect years from now, you'll find it silly that you spent more than 15 seconds thinking about what to do. Just talk to her. :)
 
StephenCampbell said:
I agree. Just tell her how you feel. Be completely honest. See what happens. In retrospect years from now, you'll find it silly that you spent more than 15 seconds thinking about what to do. Just talk to her. :)
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Nah,

It is not easy to profess your love to someone...especially someone who is not interested in you.
 
Just grow a pair and tell her. If she says she is uninterested, she's uninterested. I think it will be unlikely that waiting until she forgets someone else whill change how she feels about you somehow.
 
Do nothing - and nothing will change.

Talk to her how you feel, and you have a chance, albeit, a small one.
But after you talked to her, you know for sure, and can move on, in whatever direction.

-t
 
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