Got a tip for us?
Let us know
Become a MacRumors Supporter for $50/year with no ads, ability to filter front page stories, and private forums.
Have any of you ended relations with one of your family?
- Thread starter Hello.there
- Start date
- Sort by reaction score
Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU like Mac OS X; en) AppleWebKit/420.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.0 Mobile/4A93 Safari/419.3)
I never have and I hope I never will. I cannot imagine. I know you don't want to hear this but I pity you and your whole family. Good luck.
I never have and I hope I never will. I cannot imagine. I know you don't want to hear this but I pity you and your whole family. Good luck.
Actually done it several times, though without drama. In fact, I haven't had a word with any blood in a good five years now.
The funny thing is, I just quit talking, and I've noticed none have gone out of their way to connect with me either. We've always been like that, pretty much always a distant family. Parents & grandparents long gone, and the rest of us cast to the winds, and none of us seem to care much about it.
Certainly makes birthdays and holidays easier.
The funny thing is, I just quit talking, and I've noticed none have gone out of their way to connect with me either. We've always been like that, pretty much always a distant family. Parents & grandparents long gone, and the rest of us cast to the winds, and none of us seem to care much about it.
Certainly makes birthdays and holidays easier.
My family and I ended relations with my uncle (my mom's brother) about 4 years ago-- it was truly a difficult thing to go through, but he had some issues and said some things that will never be forgiven by anyone in my family-- it sucks because I was very close to him growing up, but I did not even invite him to my wedding last year even though I know if he ever finds out he will be very hurt.
I am sorry for what you are going through...it truly does suck, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do-- everything happens for a reason (even though we usually can't figure out what that reason is)
I am sorry for what you are going through...it truly does suck, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do-- everything happens for a reason (even though we usually can't figure out what that reason is)
Yes, I have. There are a number of people in my mom's family that can only be described as criminals. They steal and con anyone and everyone. Most of us have severed all ties with them. Once upon a time, it was a close family, but sometimes, all you can do is walk away. Sure, there are fringe family members who keep in contact with them, and yes, it seems like a betrayal. What I've learned is that it's best to try to ignore that betrayal, or you end up with no family at all. What we do is follow the rule that the outcasts of the family are never to be discussed by those who have not severed ties with them. It's not a perfect system, but it works and seems to keep the peace. Good luck!
Very true - and you're so right, you just do what you have to do, and hope it works out for the best. Thanks.
Great advice
Twice, 1 I'm happy with, the other not
I'll start with the unhappy one. After my parents divorced I just kind of stopped talking to my cousin(my father's only sibling's only child) and we went our separate ways, I went off to college and whatnot and she married young and had 3 children. I always just kind of assumed that I could re-connect any time I wanted to, then when I was working abroad in Japan I found out that she had died at the age of 26.... and on top of that because of my circumstances I couldn't even make it to the funeral. Never really forgave myself for that one.
I stopped speaking to my father after he constantly lied to me and was never there for me in person or financially. While I worked my butt off to scrape through college he was buying his girlfriends drugged up daughter a new car after she crashed hers while high. I guess I could forgive that, its only money but then he refused to visit his own mother on her deathbed and right after she died his first question to my aunt was about the inheritance. If he cannot be bothered to take 3 hours out of his life to visit his dying mother I cannot be bothered to take any time out of my life to visit him. He doesn't even know what continent I am living on...
Anyway, enough cathartic ranting, I guess the question you need to ask yourself is "If a year from now this person would suddenly die, how would I feel about not speaking to them for the last year of their life? How would I feel about not being able to say 'Goodbye'"?
I'll start with the unhappy one. After my parents divorced I just kind of stopped talking to my cousin(my father's only sibling's only child) and we went our separate ways, I went off to college and whatnot and she married young and had 3 children. I always just kind of assumed that I could re-connect any time I wanted to, then when I was working abroad in Japan I found out that she had died at the age of 26.... and on top of that because of my circumstances I couldn't even make it to the funeral. Never really forgave myself for that one.
I stopped speaking to my father after he constantly lied to me and was never there for me in person or financially. While I worked my butt off to scrape through college he was buying his girlfriends drugged up daughter a new car after she crashed hers while high. I guess I could forgive that, its only money but then he refused to visit his own mother on her deathbed and right after she died his first question to my aunt was about the inheritance. If he cannot be bothered to take 3 hours out of his life to visit his dying mother I cannot be bothered to take any time out of my life to visit him. He doesn't even know what continent I am living on...
Anyway, enough cathartic ranting, I guess the question you need to ask yourself is "If a year from now this person would suddenly die, how would I feel about not speaking to them for the last year of their life? How would I feel about not being able to say 'Goodbye'"?
I stopped speaking with my father at age 12, which was 3 years before my parents divorced. I haven't seen him since my 16th birthday, when I told myself I'd never see him again.
Guns, drugs, drug money, gambling money, gambling debt, constant harrassment by police knocking on our door, constant harrassment by strangers over the phone, physical and verbal abuse, complete neglect, living in constant fear for the first 16 years of my life.....
You get the point, no?
Wow, that's bad. I'm really afraid of being in the same situation as you. I love my mum, but I don't speak to her as often as I should. I only have a mobile phone right now, and we're half the world away (me = Australia, her = Toronto (Canada)).
Guns, drugs, drug money, gambling money, gambling debt, constant harrassment by police knocking on our door, constant harrassment by strangers over the phone, physical and verbal abuse, complete neglect, living in constant fear for the first 16 years of my life.....
You get the point, no?
Wow, that's bad. I'm really afraid of being in the same situation as you. I love my mum, but I don't speak to her as often as I should. I only have a mobile phone right now, and we're half the world away (me = Australia, her = Toronto (Canada)).
How can any human being become so ****ed up that their only thought when one of their parents die is for what might have been left to them? It just baffles and repulses me.
Not quite. I'm pure gangsta now. I once uppercut a guy for checking out my sandwich.
My mom has just about cut off contact with her brother. He's not as bad as some of the stories listed before (btw I feel very sorry for some of you guys). He's just inconsiderate to say the least. He gets invited to parties and accepts the invite. Then he'll never show up and won't call. When he does he never brings any food or offers to bring anything. He's forgotten my birthday i dunno 4 times. Christmas too.
He got married 1x to a really nice person, but divorced her apparently not realizing they had two totally different aspirations (city life vs. country, kids vs no kids, etc). He got divorced about 2 months later. He disappeared for a few years basically, next thing you know he calls my mom at a soccer game telling her "it's a boy" and that he got married and moved. A month later his gold digger wife divorces him and basically takes everything except his company owned BMW and now he's living with my grandfather.
He got married 1x to a really nice person, but divorced her apparently not realizing they had two totally different aspirations (city life vs. country, kids vs no kids, etc). He got divorced about 2 months later. He disappeared for a few years basically, next thing you know he calls my mom at a soccer game telling her "it's a boy" and that he got married and moved. A month later his gold digger wife divorces him and basically takes everything except his company owned BMW and now he's living with my grandfather.
