"I'm looking for someone who has had a good experience with recovery software."
Data Rescue III or Stellar Phoenix Data Recovery.
DR3 will let you scan the drive to see if the files are recoverable before you pay for it. I've never used SPDR, but believe it works the same way.
IMPORTANT! Try to write as little as possible to the drive in question until you do the recovery (best not to write to it AT ALL).
As another poster mentioned, if you dragged the library to the trash, but didn't actually _empty_ the trash, the files are probably still there.
And of course, one very important word to learn about:
BACKUP.
Yes, losing the files hurts. Been there, understand all about that. That's how most of us learned.