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How can I just be nice?

M

MacAndy74

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Mar 19, 2009
1,050
0
Australia
Today this guy approached me at work, really excited and happy - saying how happy he was that he purchased a brand new iPod. Excitedly I asked which one he purchased - if it was the really awesome iPod Touch.

What followed was an awkward moment, the guy shows me he's purchased an iPod Classic; secretly I really don't like their design and I'd buy an iPod Touch or even an iPod Nano over an iPod Classic anytime.

So I smiled awkwardly and without thinking, said (in just as awkward way) 'Hey, yeah - gee hmm! ... There it is!' What followed was about 10 seconds of amazingly awkward silence as I prayed my phone would ring or some calamity that would take this awkward situation away - would eventuate. Nothing. Damn.

Then he said something like, 'yeah, isn't is a great screen'. I had to bite my lip.. The screen is so fricken small, all I could think of was ... iPod Touch.

Phone rang. Pretended it was something really really important (all this happened at work), I waved - grinned awkwardly and walked ... very quickly, away.

Wish I wasn't so damn well opinionated. I feel like such a bitch. :rolleyes:
 
Why not just focus on the guy's happiness, and feel the good vibes coming from him? He chose a new gadget and is really pleased with it - so much so that he wants to share his happiness.

I think maybe you're making it too much about you, about what YOU think is nice. The focus here should be on him and the fact that he was so happy, and that he wanted to share that with you. There are so many complainers in the world; we should enjoy it when someone's happy.

Just a thought, maybe it will make it easier next time round.
 
Wow, all that over an iPod?

Some people buy the classic cause....ITS CLASSIC! Holds many songs, has the original design (I love) and is a good solid option.

You could of easily said "Wow its great how many songs it holds! My iPod touch can't hold 80gb...but I like the screen size you know?"

To which he will reply "This one is nice enough for me."

Awkward moment over... Right?


-omi5280
 
annk said:
Why not just focus on the guy's happiness, and feel the good vibes coming from him? He chose a new gadget and is really pleased with it - so much so that he wants to share his happiness.

I think maybe you're making it too much about you, about what YOU think is nice. The focus here should be on him and the fact that he was so happy, and that he wanted to share that with you. There are so many complainers in the world; we should enjoy it when someone's happy.

Just a thought, maybe it will make it easier next time round.
Click to expand...

Yes. Great advice. I think I was concentrating on the wrong aspect of it all. Rather than look at things from my point of view, I should look at how someone feel's about their new gadget and be happy for them.

Sometimes it's just not easy, not to be critical or be happy when work demands get crazy. :(

@ arkitect I've been learned. :) Sometimes my sense of self importance is far far over embellished.
 
Just say, "Thats pretty good, I've got one too."

Then show him yours and make him feel jealous. Of course if he's happy with his purchase, he won't be jealous so no wrong has been done on your part. If he's green with envy, you have showed him the error of his ways and he will take that classic back.
 
MacAndy74 said:
Today this guy approached me at work, really excited and happy - saying how happy he was that he purchased a brand new iPod. Excitedly I asked which one he purchased - if it was the really awesome iPod Touch.

What followed was an awkward moment, the guy shows me he's purchased an iPod Classic; secretly I really don't like their design and I'd buy an iPod Touch or even an iPod Nano over an iPod Classic anytime.

So I smiled awkwardly and without thinking, said (in just as awkward way) 'Hey, yeah - gee hmm! ... There it is!' What followed was about 10 seconds of amazingly awkward silence as I prayed my phone would ring or some calamity that would take this awkward situation away - would eventuate. Nothing. Damn.

Then he said something like, 'yeah, isn't is a great screen'. I had to bite my lip.. The screen is so fricken small, all I could think of was ... iPod Touch.

Phone rang. Pretended it was something really really important (all this happened at work), I waved - grinned awkwardly and walked ... very quickly, away.

Wish I wasn't so damn well opinionated. I feel like such a bitch. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Yeah, I wonder why you can't just be nice.

What a strange reaction - the iPod classic is great, it holds a tonne more than the touch, and yes, the screen IS great. Your friend is excited enough to show it to you, so show some frakkin' interest.

Heck, I've had friends getting excited because they've bought an iPod shuffle! Sure, I don't want one myself, but I share their enthusiasm for a new cool purchase and can happily spend a few minutes waffling about how neat it is.

You're not being opinionated, you're being a snob.
 
windywoo said:
Just say, "Thats pretty good, I've got one too."

Then show him yours and make him feel jealous. Of course if he's happy with his purchase, he won't be jealous so no wrong has been done on your part. If he's green with envy, you have showed him the error of his ways and he will take that classic back.
Click to expand...

Man, way to kill someone's happiness. :( Why would you want to take away his pleasure in his new toy?

zen said:
You're not being opinionated, you're being a snob.
Click to expand...

Do you really think so? In his second post he said he now thinks he was looking at it the wrong way. Doesn't sound like a snob to me, it sounds like someone who was uncomfortable with his own reaction and wanted to reflect about it with people here.
 
What, eh? The Classic is a fantastic iPod, it's just not a PDA-iPod like the iPod Touch. And all that storage space. If I could have any iPod I'd still go for the Classic (its the only Apple branded MP3 player that could store all my music and enough video for good times). And doesn't it have an awesomely long battery life? I have a 5.5G so I don't know (with more storage than any Touch :p).
 
windywoo said:
Just say, "Thats pretty good, I've got one too."

Then show him yours and make him feel jealous. Of course if he's happy with his purchase, he won't be jealous so no wrong has been done on your part. If he's green with envy, you have showed him the error of his ways and he will take that classic back.
Click to expand...

:) A plan, I like it. You see the other side of the story is that this particular person is an especially caustic and annoying person at work, at times. Which is why. At the time. Mild ambivalence was the best I could muster.

zen said:
Yeah, I wonder why you can't just be nice.

What a strange reaction (..) Your friend is excited enough to show it to you, so show some frakkin' interest.

You're not being opinionated, you're being a snob.
Click to expand...

Ok you misunderstood me somewhat, this is no friend but an ordinarily caustic and annoying 'client' who himself is so high and righteous at times, it's ridiculous.

annk said:
(..) Doesn't sound like a snob to me, it sounds like someone who was uncomfortable with his own reaction and wanted to reflect about it with people here.
Click to expand...

I'd like to believe that myself. It's just when someone who is always such a git ordinarily, is suddenly approachable and happy; then with my personal mixed feelings about the iPod Classic - it becomes an awkward situation.
 
annk said:
Man, way to kill someone's happiness. :( Why would you want to take away his pleasure in his new toy?
Click to expand...

But if he's really happy with it then he won't lose any pleasure from it. If he made a hastey decision without seeing all the options then you have just informed him of an option he didn't know he had.
 
Why not share the guy's excitement and joy. Just because the device isn't to your liking doesn't mean its any less for him?

Not to sound too critical but I'd rather build up then tear down, if he's happy that he got a classic and he's loving it awesome.

How'd you feel if you showed off your new iPhone to someone but they just shrugged their shoulders and thought it was "ok" but you should have gotten the pre. You'd think the guy a downer and a jerk.
 
Same thing has happened to me, although not involving any items. Sometimes we're just caught off guard, and our reaction isn't really reflective of our typical selves.


One time, at a dinner, someone decided that I should give a farewell speech for two friends who were moving away soon. I was taken a bit by surprise, so after spending 60 seconds on what to say (and being nervous for 61 of those seconds), I pretty much said, "Well....uh.....it has been great to get to know you both. I know we'll see each other again......or not, I suppose." That's not what I meant at all, but it all happened a bit fast. I heard someone else tell another person something about me acting indifferent to their farewell, which only made me feel a bit worse about it. :eek:


Anyway, I'm sure you know the right thing to do and say in that situation. You just happened to eff up this time. Everybody has reacted a bit strangely before, and I'm not sure how people here can't understand that perhaps this is out of character for the OP. :confused:
 
Abstract said:
Sometimes we're just caught off guard, and our reaction isn't really reflective of our typical selves.
Click to expand...


Truer words have never been spoken... well, in the last few hours, at least. ;)

The smooth surfaces of our outward personalities can be thrown off by many events and processes completely invisible to others, but these do not encapsulate the whole of a person and their actions and attitudes towards others.
 
itommyboy said:
Or next time just point, laugh, walk away. No awkward moment.
Click to expand...

;) I like your suggestion.

Blue Velvet said:
Truer words have never been spoken... well, in the last few hours, at least. ;)

The smooth surfaces of our outward personalities can be thrown off by many events and processes completely invisible to others, but these do not encapsulate the whole of a person and their actions and attitudes towards others.
Click to expand...

Yes, sometimes I do surprise myself over how I would normally react. Maybe I should have been myself and said, 'Ok yeah, it's nice - glad you're happy; I'd prefer an iPod Touch, but then we have different needs.' :)
 
i think I would be honest, IF he is not my supervisor, I would tell him to return it right now and get an better one, in your case, an iPod Touch.
 
Macky-Mac said:
oh come on....confess.....you're actually delighted to have pissed in this guy's cornflakes aren't you :D
Click to expand...

:eek: a bit, although I don't like the idea of 'an eye for an eye..', thing is the only time this guy even talks to me is either 1) He needs help with his Mac, or 2) He want's to show off with some new toy. Otherwise he's not a 'nice' person.

@ clevin I might do that next time, or maybe when I get my iPhone 3G - I may quite accidentally and innocently show off with it, myself. :p
 
MacAndy74 said:
:) A plan, I like it. You see the other side of the story is that this particular person is an especially caustic and annoying person at work, at times. Which is why. At the time. Mild ambivalence was the best I could muster.
Click to expand...

Paul Harvey said:
And now, the rest of the story
Click to expand...

That would have been important info to read first post. lol

Anyways - yeah - just share his enthusiasm and give him a "put 'er there" to make him fell happy. He was obviously seeking your approval.:apple:
 
Work in retail for a bit.

After you've spent a few hours telling people that the two clashing prints in unflattering styles they've chosen for themselves look fantastic and go great together you'll have an unwavering ability to plaster a smile across your face and spraff about how wonderful anything is.

Actually I was knackered at work yesterday and let my mask fall for a second when a customer asked if I thought an outfit worked, they didn't look impressed by my incredulous expression . . .

It seems you don't like this guy much, so don't beat yourself up and practice your fake smile for next time ;)
 
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